[Rating: Rock Fist Way Down]
I am not a fan of the Fast & Furious franchise. I see these movies just to see them and get nothing from them. Ten movies in and with two more to go, I’ll still see them just to spend a day in a theater to feel absolutely nothing.
Fast X , pronounced “ten” because we’re all supposed to know Roman numerals by now in life, is directed by Louis Leterrier and is the first of three total “finales” to this never-ending franchise where family is king. I hate to say I miss the days when this cast went to space for whatever reason but here we are, going on a global trek for whatever reason pursued by a madman. Put some brakes on because there’s a lot to discuss here.
I’m going to skip over a majority of the plot because I can and there’s so much happening. In a nutshell, Dom (Vin Diesel) gets a warning from Cipher (Charlize Theron) that “the devil” is coming for him and his family. The devil in question is Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) who seeks revenge on Dom and the gang for events that happened in the movie made about ten years ago. As if I should remember this. Dante is prepared to kill Dom’s extended family including Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Jakob (John Cena), Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) and Han (Sung Kang). A great chase of a bomb set up in Rome ensues as all the family has to split up for fear of their own safety. Throw into the mix Letty and Cipher end up in a secret base as prisoners, Dom trying to reach his son before Dante can get to him and a nice cameo from Rita Moreno and Helen Mirren.
There’s a lot going on here. This movie is massive to the point I was confused as to why anything was happening. I also fell asleep in parts that are so damn repetitive when I woke up I missed nothing. The most exciting things to actually happen in this involved bombs blowing shit up because it at least added some substance to whatever was going on here.
Like I said, maybe going to space wasn’t all that bad? This movie defies any and all forms of physics so why not go back to space? Also, the painful acting of Jason Momoa made any scene he was in hard to sit through. Give me more Rita Moreno instead of him.
This series isn’t for me and I accept that. It will never be for me and yet I go out of my way to see them so I know at least what is happening for the next endless installment. Somebody cut the fuel line to this series to make it all stop.
Christian Ramos is a classic film fan, having had the dream to host Turner Classic Movies for years now. He also has a large amount of Oscar trivia in his head, remembers dressing as Groucho Marx one Halloween, and cherishes the moment Julianne Moore liked his tweet.
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