[Rating: Swiss Fist]
The movie musical has a nice resurgence lately with the help of big named popstars and the help of social media. Movies about flying green girls have packed theaters and box offices, leading to world tours from their leading stars. So, it really pains me to say one of the latest outings, an adaptation of a play not seen on Broadway in three decades is just, so-so at best. Bill Condon, who has directed the musical juggernaut Dreamgirls and wrote the screenplay to Best Picture winner Chicago, works alongside Jennifer Lopez to bring to life Kiss of the Spider Woman. Unfortunately for them, while the story is very current, the final product is a forgettable piece of song and dance.
Based on the musical from John Kander and Fred Ebb, (who gave us Cabaret and Chicago) and a novel from 1976, the main storyline is set in an Argentinian prison set dirty the Dirty War, a time when the government was run by the military and political prisoners rounded up at any turn. Luis Molina (Tonatiuh) is a gay window dresser accused of public indecency. His new cellmate is Valentin Paz (Diego Luna), one of these political prisoners. Luis, in order to pass time in his new cell tells Valentin the plot of one of his favorite Hollywood movies, The Kiss of the Spider Woman. By telling the plot, it keeps both men preoccupied from the hardships of the world around them, placing them both into the fantasy of the movie within a movie.
The Kiss of the Spider Woman stars Ingrid Luna as Aurora (Lopez) who is a magazine publisher looking for love in all the wrong places. Through the retelling of the movie, Luis places himself and Valentin within the world of the picture. Both men are in love with Aurora and have their own motives to live a happy existence with her, despite circumstances that put them at danger.
At times, Luis feels the embrace of Aurora in his cell, picturing her coming to him at night to guide him to a happy place, free from the worry of the torture outside of his cell, or the possibility of betrayal of his new friend, Valentin.
When the movie itself works, it works well. Tonatiuh is terrific in the role and really is the focal point of the entire film. His passion for the role made me empathetic to his journey and hardship of wanting to be free, but also wanting Valentin to be free. Likewise, Luna doesn’t disappoint. Condon’s direction is adequate, with most of the “Spider Woman” scenes being staged and choreographed so well, I forgot at times this was a musical at the heart of it.
Now, the few upsides are the plot itself. It’s very timely with those who wish to oppose their government being locked up. It’s also very long and many scenes without musical pieces are dragged out. I did check my watch a few times. And then there’s Jennifer Lopez.
I love Jennifer Lopez. I grew up watching every one of her movies and she was a huge staple in my household. This is not the movie for her. Her singing is so pop and not coming out the same way it once did, that all of her numbers in this don’t land. Her acting is fine, if not terribly basic, but it’s the music that is just a dud. She takes some really good songs and makes them a concert-esque big shoulder shrug.
I didn’t expect much from a show that’s three decades old and never had the big prominence as other musicals of its time. While it was really nice to look at, the ultimate product was a cell of wasted potential with star power that feels like they bought the rights to be in this without much thought.
Christian Ramos is a classic film fan, having had the dream to host Turner Classic Movies for years now. He also has a large amount of Oscar trivia in his head, remembers dressing as Groucho Marx one Halloween, and cherishes the moment Julianne Moore liked his tweet.
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