I normally just read comments. I almost NEVER actually comment. This time, however, I HAD to say something…

Let me preface this comment by stating that I am a HUGE Michael Bay fan!!!

I absolutely love most of his movies and can totally appreciate his style of leave-your-brain-home-and-enjoy-the-pretty-colors direction, and I thought the 1st Transformers movie was an absolute PERFECT junk food movie. I copped it in HD as soon as it came out and STILL watch it once in a while. When I heard Bay was going to make a sequel, the inner fanboy in me bust a virtual nut.

“MORE Optimus Prime? MORE giant robot fights? MORE intricately detailed transformation sequences? And the Constructicons? AND they form Devastator? Megan Fox draped over a motorcycle w/batty lick shorts on? Sign me all the way up for this!” I said to myself.

Dammit, Man…this movie sucks.

No disrespect to anyone on these boards who loved this flick, but this movie sucked huge metal robot balls (which were in the movie, BTW…WTF was up w/THAT one?!?!?!?) in comparison to the 1st.

There isn’t even a bloody plot for the middle 1/3rd of the movie!

Seriously.

You could literally cut a whole hour out of this, and it would probably make more sense. There were some kewl introductions of new robots in the beginning (more on the Twins later) which was nice, but there wasn’t much of even a semblance of plot. I know, I know, “it’s a Bay film! What do you expect?” you say…same defense I put up against all the so-called “elites” who railed against me for loving the 1st one. One shouldn’t expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial. I get that (for instance, I vehemently defended my love of the largely implausible “Cloverfield” last year on another message board! LOL). But this was bad even for him. For instance:

1.The scene where Shia’s character’s mom eats the pot brownies…did it REALLY need to go on for that long?
2.Did John Turturro need to strip to his underwear again? AGAIN?!?
3.How the f–k is it daylight EVERYWHERE on the planet? And if I’m able to teleport across the globe, why drive? I guess that’s how Bumblebee was able to get to Egypt from the US in 2 scenes flat.
4.Megatron is not supposed to be ANYONE’S bitch, I don’t care how many millennia you have on him.
5.Since when are Transformers able to disguise themselves as humans? Epic fail.
6.I’m a shaky-cam fan, but DAMN!

The Robot Twins…what.the.F–K!

I don’t like them @ all. Why are they so damn stereotypical? I could accept Jazz in the 1st one because the original G1 Jazz was “Black” also (voiced by the late Scatman Crothers, who was also the voice of Hong Kong Phooey, BTW). And he was a decent soldier and a great fighter, though he was destroyed by Megatron in the 1st one. These two carriacatures should offend anyone w/even a modicum of ethnic blood in them. Why can’t they read? They’re cybernetic organisms that were apparently able to absorb complete knowledge of Earth’s languages via the World Wide Web. Why does one of them have a gold tooth? Why are their eyes all kooky? Since when is it ok to have Step-N-Fetch It in robot form?

F–k Michael Bay for this part of the movie.

Jar Jar Binks-like characters (Car-Car Binks in this instance? LOL) will always be an epic fail as far as I’m concerned. They didn’t work in the Star Wars prequels and they don’t really work here. The Twin Robots were funny @ 1st, but then quickly became grating as the movie progressed.

It’s not ALL bad though…if you’re hungering for more robots, this one delivers in spades. I consider myself a huge TF geek-I know most of the robots on sight. But this was almost overload…ALMOST! There were almost too many of them! It was cool, though, to watch them fight, albeit hard to tell which robot was which. The scene in the forest is absolutely spectacular, and here is where Bay shines best. Very well choreographed, and expertly framed…ILM once again proves that they are standard bearers for virtually all other digital FX studios. The integration of the CGI w/set pieces is nothing short of flawless; the robots are even more real and intricately detailed this time.

And Megan Fox. Wow. She could get all 8.5″. ALL of it, and raw, too…LOL

Anyway, there is a marked difference in tone from this sequel and the 1st. The first movie was a bit more refined; it was like Bay had Spielberg reigning him in when he got too grandiose. Now, it would seem that since the 1st one did so well, he was allowed to do whatever the f–k he wanted, to ill effect.

Visually speaking, this movie is just frigging golden! It’s a bit hard to follow @ points from a visual standpoint (what are these robots doing? Are they fighting or dancing? Who is that fighting who? etc.), and the plot is LITERALLY non-existent @ times (bad even for Bay). Like I said, it looks really, really, really, REALLY good, especially in IMAX (although it would seem that most of the scenes weren’t actually shot w/IMAX cameras, as you can tell by the changing aspect ratios) but the Twins and lack of direction kill this for me. A marginal rental, as far as I’m concerned.

5 out of 5 stars for action, CGI, TONS of robots and Megan Fox
.5 out of 5 stars for everything else

this is the number 1 worst movie

4. you are clearly CLEARLY a retard in this entire section
The cube was meant to respond to life, example (don’t choke on this one like you did the last) If I have a touch screen iphone in my pocket powered on is it doing anything notable (assuming wifi is of and push is disabled etc) but once I TOUCH it miraculous things happen, it can call people it can turn on my computer, I can surf the web like MAGIC. I’m going to walk you through this one in this analogy the iphone is the shard, I would be Sam. When I sam touch the shard (iphone) it hums to life. Though unlike me with my iphone Sam does not know how to use the cube. So his touch does things he did not intend (burning things, bringing machines to life)
As for him not wearing it, do you know NOTHING about memorabilia, if I bought a babe ruth authentic worn jersey and called it my lucky jersey would I wear it NO. WHY? Because it would be ruined, or destroyed. This is more true in sams case because the jersey is already falling apart.

5)WOW, you’re a genuine low functioning retard I feel bad for even arguing with you lol
a)the shard was left on a battle ground which was swarming with US military personnel who KNEW what they were fighting and what the cube was. So yes if one of them picked it up(which I’m pretty sure they would seeing as how it was classified) they WOULD know what it was , they WOULD take precautions and they WOULD whatever other idiotic thing you can think of
b) The cube came from space, and had been floating in space before it crashed on earth, which I don’t’ know if you know anything about our universe but without protection (the Van Allen Belts protect earth) any object in space is BLASTED with deadly levels of radiation, as such anything on earth from space emits radiation
c) even moving out of the common sense sphere it is clearly shown in the first movie that they transformers and all their machinery give of radiation (shown by the Van Allen Belts agents using Geiger counters (look it up)
d) you are clearly an idiot
6. the original plan on both sides had nothing to do with the knowledge stored in the cube you dimwit, they wanted it because it had the power to create life, which is what their home planet lacked (this is shown when it bring back to life the mini killer robot in the army base in the first movie) so NO they didn’t’ want to shatter it yo u idiot
As for the cube being self aware, I didn’t realize that that was a requirement in order for a machine to have a fail safe. Again if you know anything about modern computer systems MANY data bases are programmed to transfer their information to safer quarters when they are damaged. I even have a computer which does this when a virus is detected. And I can assure you as far as I know my laptop is not self aware.
7. you continue to show how truly uneducated and stupid u really are.
The entire premise of this was that the transformers are MORE THAN MACHINES. They are capable of learning and are much like us in that way, they must be taught things. For example in the first movie when the autobots are introduced they state they LEARNED earths languages through television and radio broadcasts. They LEARNED. And seeing as how they are a little more complex than calculator your analogy makes no sense. For example does my calculator know how to run a program that will spell my name in 0’s out of the box no I have to program(TEACH) it how to do that. Or even more complex does it know how to run the mirage program out of the box NO, again it has to be programmed (taught) these things.
I don’t ‘know if I can stress this enough the transformers are MORE THAN REGULAR MACHINES, they have LIFE they are LIFE, just like we are. If we look at them as just machines, then how can we as humans claim to not be machines? Isn’t our brain much like a computer?
8. I assume much like the directors that this movie is being watched by an intelligent individual (i was of course in your case incorrect). Unlike you I don’t need to have EVERYTHING spelled out, my assumptions fill the gaps and if they are in congruency with a possibility in the world created by the movie( and I’m pretty sure touch activated tech is conceivable in the transformers universe) I take them as one possible reason something may have happened. Is it possible the director and writer had other ideas for why that happened YES that is possible, but either way it makes sense. which is the point you were arguing against, which still makes you wrong. If I can conceive the idea, I’m pretty sure the directors and writers thought of it or a better one.
9.
Sam had no idea the shard would be pursued by giant robots so felt no pressing need to put it in protection
If I had some alien piece of tech that had just done something to me, I’m pretty sure id want to hang on to it for a while to see what if anything I could find out form examining it. in military hands I would never see it again and would in all likelyhood end up as a test subject and experiment (forgive sam for distrusting the gov’t they have kind of betrayed him before )
Bumble bee is damaged (that is a fact given in the movie no argument necessary )
Your telling me every decision you made as an 18 year old made sense (I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a 8 year old special needs child)
10.
who said anything about feelings and self esteem. I’m pretty sure they brute force approach they took was in fact the quickest one. Espionage and such usually take a lot longer than force. In this case you arguing against yourself, the logical decision would be to TAKE the shard, which is what they did, I don’t even see what your argument is
“You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? Anyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or I’m not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy”
I’m glad you stopped cause the puppies surviving had nothing to do with my argument it was just a joke dimwit (literally)
11.
a)you seem to be making the assumption there are many shards of the cube, there are only 2, and nobody knew that the cube had the ability to give people knowledge that was only discovered when it happened to Sam.
b)as for the erratic behavior I’m sure you would be doing JUST FINE if someone hotwired your brain and shoved alien secrets in it, you wouldn’t do weird things at all. The specific act of jotting that stuff down wasn’t important, random behavior isn’t really hard to believe , I mean in real life people freak out for less
c)though I know he didn’t do it consciously if I was given the formula for faster than light travel, and it popped into my head, damn right I would make a scene I my class, that is kinda important, and who wouldn’t’ want to show it off.
12. I assume you know I’m right and so refrain from exposing your idiocy even more
Conclusion:
You really have no arguments, comparing transformers to calculators (I’m pretty sure AI intelligence and coordination is harder than multiplication or we would have done it already) , not remembering facts that were clearly expressed in the first movie,……… lastly going into a movie like transformers expecting the director to walk you through every little piece of information given, and refusing to make simple connections between events

It seems your arguments this time weren’t even based in misunderstandings (which would be forgivable) , you simply seem to have forgotten huge swaths of information given in the first movie and in this movie.

(1)
That doesn’t make any sense, its as though you think that if you use the word “disguise” that it somehow changes the fact that they are completely restructur9ing themselves instantaneously and becoming perfect copies of the machine they are copying.

“he transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them.”

Even if you say that they are “disguising … not turning into”; THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. Yes by completely changing their transformed form they have completely rebuilt themselves. Just because you use the word “disguise” doesn’t change the fact, that they have completely changed their form so that they can change into an exact replica of the object they copied. Thus they are taking on the form of the objects they copy, or imagine, just because you use the word “disguised” doesn’t change reality.

” The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons.”

Again, do you not realize you are being irrational?

You are saying:
“Megatron never changes form, and already has weapons. Therefor this somehow this means that the robots that actually relevant to this argument, the ones that changed form, are not changing form?”

That makes absolutely no sense. I can’t even comprehend what your argument is here. Are you saying that because Megatron has guns, that the Robots that transformed are not taking on the exact form of the machine, but instead disguising themselves? You realize this is a complete non-sequitar. I see you looked up deus-ex machina, feel free to look up non-sequitar too. By the way, the points I raised about deus-ex machina aren’t even something you can doubt.

But if I’m understanding you correctly you somehow have this information that was never provided in the movie, and is in direct contradiction to the events of the movie:

“The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it.”

You realize this is something you pulled out of your rear? You have made up a theory, and present as the reason why things happen. How do you know what they are “born with”. But that doesn’t even matter that you made that up.

Now listen closely, because you are embarrassing yourself. This is what you are saying:

“The reason transformers change form into different machines, is because they need costumes to hide their weapons.”

I realize you are unable to accept that this movie had its flaws, but you are making a fool of yourself when you make up things like this.

And its gets more absurd. Because megatron has guns, you have concluded that they transform into “costumes” only to hide their guns. And then you pull this little gem out, and its really hilarious:

“leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?”

Wow, just wow. So because megatron has guns, and he never changes form. You have developed a theory:

“Transformers are born with guns, and need earth machines to transform into to hide their guns”
…but heres the kicker:
“When humans change clothes, our wounds don’t heal. Therefor when tranformers change the form that they can transform into, turning themselves into a complete replica of the object formed with their own body parts, they obviously are just changing shirts. So when they have the power to physically change the makeup of their entire body, which is what they are doing, it is no different than changing a shirt… And because when humans change shirts it doesn’t heal them, robots completely restructuring their entire body into a new form, altering their physical makeup, they can’t even repair dents because clearly they are changing shirts.”

Are you really this dumb? I held off on mocking you, but seriously.

We see the transformers change into completely different machines, which requires them to restructure their body so they can fold themselves into these new machines. And they apparently have the power to shape-shift like this instantly. All of this is undeniable.

Now That I’m done making fun of the complete idiocy that you presented. (Seriously, when the robots change their entire form, its no different then changing clothes. And they only change forms, and transform, so they can wear different “costumes” to hide their weapons…wow)

Now here was my point, that you were unable to comprehend.

*Why they are now shape shifters*

1. We see transformers changing the machines that they can use for their transformed mode.

2. Changing what you transform into means you are restructuring your entire body, because your transformed mode, is your body folding and connecting in ways to create that machine.

( This is the reason transformer toys work, but clearly if they can change hte machines they transform into, they are no longer just transformers but shape shifters, that deny the laws of physics. Clearly your toy transformer can’t start as a robot and a corvette, but then on a whim have transform into an airplane. This would require you to completely rebuild and restructure the toy. )

3. In fact the physical appearance of the transformers in their humanoid form after shape-shifting, is altered as well.

3. Their are now transformers that have taken on the shape of imaginary machines in their transformed modes, which are more effective transforming into earth machines.

4. These means undeniably that they can shape-shift into machines without having to have a machine to copy. This is undeniable logic. If they can transform into a magical panda with wings, they clearly did not need to copy a machine to make that form.

5. So why then, are the robots choosing to take on the form of hybrid cars, or semi trucks, when they could transform into unstopable killing machines that they think up.

6. Originally they transformed to blend in to human society. But now that everyone knows about them, and they aren;t trying to sneak around but wage war: It would only make sense that, sense we see they can change the machine they become in their transformed mode, they would now change into bad ass weapons of war. (They didn’t transform to change “costumes” just to “hide their weapons”; nor is transforming like “changing clothes”, as you so retardidly put it)

Conclussion:

Transformers still have two modes they can take on (although we see a few that take on even more):

Humanoid and Transformed mode.

And now we see in the movie, that they can change the machine that they become in their Transformed Mode instantaneously: Shape-Shifting

When doing this it completely alters the structure and mechanics of the robot, which it would have to do, see toy example. This is evident, and proven, as when they Shape-Shift their Humanoid form changes in a appearance as well: it has to so that all of its body parts and reorganize into the new machine.

So they have the power to completely change into any machine. Now this would be somewhat not-rediculous, if they could only Shape-Shift into machines they encounter and can copy. But as is clearly shown, many of the transformers Transformed-Modes are now IMAGINARY machines. Obviously if the form isn’t a real life machine, then they didn’t have to copy from anything in order to Shape-Shift.

So the transformers now have the power to shape-shift into any machine they can imagine nearly instantly. Even if you deny this irefutable argument, you cannot deny that they can shape-shift into any machine they encounter. Perhaps their is some limitation in regards to conservation of mass, but they could still be far more badd-ass than a hybrid-car.

And of course if they can Shape-Shift their entire body into a new machine that can tranform into a completely new form they can do one real easy thing too:

Heal themselves. If they have the power to re-shape metal, and reconstruct a machine more complicated than anything humans will ever build, all in a moment; then they can use this Shape-Shifting power to fix any dents, dings, broken gears, broken circuits, what have you.

Now please, don’t come back and make more of a fool of youself.

If you tell me that: The robots are “born with weapons” and they only tranform for one reason, “hiding their weapons”. And when they transform it is no different then wearing a “costume”, and is the equivallent of a human “changing clothes”>

(2)

You write,
“Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.”

You just explained that Megatron can be resurrected. All you need are spare parts and a piece of a magic cube….

…Do you not realize that this would make any robot immortal, all they need is one of many little pieces of rock, and spare parts from a newly spawned transformer (that apparently is going to die anyways), and you are now: IMMORATAL.

Just because you need a rock and a robot to live forever, doesn’t mean your not immortal. If humans had a immortality-potion that would bring you revive you, even after being “killed” (which if u can be brought back you were not killed), that this would make people immortal.

Seriously, you just get dumber and dumber.

(3)

You write,
“They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)”

Do you not realize you are unintelligent? Apparently you are also delusional. They did not once “defer” to him in the first movie.

And yes he had an experience ONE-DAY with batteling robots.

But did YOU not watch the movie? There is a whole army of humans and robots that are fighting side by side each other every day, versus a single day of action for Sam. They have to communicate, cooperate, and understand each other in order to be successful. Their are team leaders, scientists, and politicians working with this team.

Your right, his one day of fighting with robots makes him an “AUTHORITY” on them. Far more so then the scientists and generals who are working every day and doing research on transformers, while simultaneously hunting down their mutual enemy.

Your right though….these guys would defnitely understand everything better if a random teenager, who keeps a robot in his garage, came and explained it to them. I mean he seems absolutely vital and worth travelling half way around the world to pick up when he possesses no special powers (that they know of).

No the politcians, marines, scientists, archeolgists and team-mates who work every day with the robots, definitely need a teenage kid to explain things to them. NOTE MY SARACSM

Stop being so stupid, will you just admit that this movie had some horrible flaws, your coming off retarded now.

(4) Oh man, you really arn;t smart, this is going to be funny

“4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.” -you wrote

“The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time”

Wow…you are unintelligent. The rock is deus-ex machina in the first scene. YOu are telling everyone that the rock has been active the entire time it was in his closet…really?

A. So despite it being “active” it only turns into the worlds hottest object that melts through his entire house when he gets it out of his jacket. His jacet must have been lined with a titanium alloy then.

B. And it was active the whole time right? So somehow his jacket was preventing it from turning all the machines in his house into transformers? Do you not realize this??????

Clearly it activated when he got it out. No one would side with you on this.

Oh and you came up with another great thing PULLED OUT OF YOUR BUTT. You somehow know that he never wore that jacket until he got it out of the closest, as though we only put things in closests for deep storage.

And even though he calls it his lucky jacket, he never once wore it since the first movie. Right.

Ya, you just got obliterated and your idiocy is becoming more and more apparent

(5)

“5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

“clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people”

So no one picked up the rock before it was placed into its storage area? Your right, someone must have seen a rock, and known instantly that the rock was part of an alien cube that the millitary needed. And they also knew not to touch it, because as we all know, rocks will melt right through you and turn your laptop into an evil ass-raping robot.

“id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

Clearly, I like how you know things that not even the director probably thought about.

And of course, it must be the radiation???? Where do you get these idiotic thoughts of yours?

I hope sam doesn;t get cancer from all that radiation.

(6)

“6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.”

You sir, are retarded, You mean to tell me, that they “served different purposes”.

So the robots planned on having the cube EXPLODED. Because of course that would happen, clearly. And then, only once shattered into little pieces, will it grant magic knowledge to the holder. Because the original; cube didn’t do this.

“The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge”

Wow, I love your magic crap that you pull out of your ass. Clearly the cube is self-aware; i mean theres no mention of this anywhere, but you know this clearly!

You are so smart that you can make up things that aren’t part of the movie in order to defend your irrational points. You sir are so smart!

As you put it this all “stands to reason”….Dude I really hope you are around 12 years old.

(7) Oh this one is hilarious.

“7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.”

Wow, you are stupid. Robots are machines, they work based on calculations, I really don;t need to explain to you why a robot capable of emulating emotion and doing things far beyond our technology can’t aim as well as robots we have already built.

Its like saying this:

“Well you know my calculator just came out of the box, its still a baby. Once I use my calculator for a couple of years, it will give me accurate results”

Do ya get it???? Its not a matter of learning, its a matter of calculating.

” I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned.”

You assume wrong, as always. When a robot is created with the capability of aiming and shooting, they is no learning required. Does my calculator have to learn how to multiply???? No. It was built able to multiply, it was built able to aim. There is no reason a computer wouldn’t have perfect aim.

(8)

“8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life”

I love how you know things that no one else knows. I wish I was able to assume some quality back into this movie.

I should just assume that the robots are retarded because they huffed robot paint when they were little. I like this assuming thing you do, it makes the movie not suck.

(9)

“As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea”

Your right, clearly I would give my beloved girl friend something that nearly just killed me, and something that evil robots will want to hunt down. I mean, I hope that once shes in bed it turns her alarm clock into a dagger-former that stabs her brains out. I mean its the responsible thing to do.

I mean, giving it to your three-story giant robot that can actually defend himself wouldn;t make any sense.

And seriously, bumblebee still can’t talk? I mean, they don’t know how to plug in speakers? Its so childish, and clearly just something to be funny like all the other retarded traits they gave the robots. I mean, he is an advanced AI capable of chaning from a sports-car to a giant humanoid robot: but he can’t figure out how to form words. Of course.

(10)

“10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

LMFAO

“If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted.”

Your right, you clearly know how sensitive robots are, and how bad for robot self-esteem it would be to accomplish your goal the quickest way possible.

I mean, certainly they wouldn’t want to guarantee success by using their powers to transform into humans to conquer, steal and kill everyone and everything they need too with no way of being stopped….

God no! This would be bad for their self-esteem!

OMG , THIS IS THE FUNNIEST CRAP YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN:
“If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? ANyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or im not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy.

Again, you know hwy they didn’t do the most effective and logical thing! You don’t need it to be part of the story, or logical, even the intention of the writers and director: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO ASSUME!

You assume the robots are to embarassed to want to want gurantee their own success! OF COURSE, CLEARLY I SHOULD ASSUME THIS TOO!

This is what you do. I’ll assume esomething to explain the irrational behaviour: I assume that the robots were scared of getting yeast infections, so they woudn’t become human! CLEARLY!
OR I assume they hate feeling of being human….of course it all makes sense!

OMG YOU ARE RETARDED.

(11)

“11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.”

Wow, you don’t even understand what plot is. The robots say they need him as an ambassador, but this really isn’t good enough for the story to make sense. So lets make it that he has magic knowledge from handling the rock, and only he has this knowledge. Now HES IMPORTANT!

Couldn’t they just make more people like him with the other rocks, and not have to worry about him? I mean if they have the rock, they could give this magic power to a soldier who could at least defend himself a little more.

And you are right, of course knowledge about transformers would make him behave as follows: I mean of course he would be uncontrollably compelled to go and write a forumula on the board in contradiciton to his teacher. This wasn’t just as cheesy way of trying to create a funny scene. No, no, you know that its far deeper than that right?

Clearly a broken piece of a magical cube will have more powers than the original cube did, and as you assumed it must be self-aware as well. And it now grants magic knowledge, but apprently it also makes you have no self-control and have to go and correct your science teacher on astronomy because clearly that serves some purpose…somehow…

Man you are f’ing retarded.

(12)

“2. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.”

You don’t even understand what you are talking about. I’m not explaining this to you.

Conclusion:

You seem to think that even thought this movie contradicts reason; and even though none of the characters behave in the logical or rational way, and even though The robots never make the most sensible decision in accomplishing their goals; that you have a way of making it all make sense;

You get to assume things that were never part of the movie, hell you assume things that the directors and writers certainly never intended to be assumed. But you jsut know!
”
You assume the robots are “born with guns” and don’t transform, but “disguise” themselves in “costumes”, for one reason: hiding their weapons using their costumes.

You assume the Decepticons have to much pride to do the thing that makes the most sense, and is teh easiest way to accomplish their goals. But you know they don;t do this jsut because the movie is poorly written, but becuse doing it this way would hurt their self-esteem.

You assume the cube is radioactive.

You assume he never wore his jacket again.

YOu assume that the milllitary managed to find the rock and that no one ever touched it, Even though it just looks like a rock and no one would think any diffrently from picking it up. But know, you know that somehow the millitary found the rock before anyone else, and recognized it, and never had a human come in contact with it. Because they apparently somehow knew that the rock fragments have more powers than the original cube rock, and can grant magic knowledge. Wait wouldn’t they want this knowloedge?

You assume computers can;t aim because they are like human babies, and have to learn to aim, like we learn to walk. I mean sure my calculator has to learn to multiply too, they never work right out of the box.

Anyways you get the idea.

You can’t defeend this movie, so you place your own assumptions about different scenarios of the movie in a poor attempt to make the movie make sense. But even your assumptions wouldn’t be good logic for how this movie panned out. And even if they did, your assumptions arn;t based on reason, but are simply your imagination.

You somehow know how robots are when they are born, even though no one ever talks about that, and even the director and writers wouldn’t have known these things. But you know, and because you make these crazy assumptions, you think that this makes it a good movie.

If someone has a gun in a movie, but instead of shooting his attacker, he gets in a fist fight, and risks his life; that make sno sense. This is exactly how this movie was in every scene. But you think its good because you assume, well he was out of ammo in that clip, even though no one said that, and no where was that even indicated.

Do you get it? You are retarded too, just read the post. Sad. Sad.

1. I never said “they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they want, real or imaginary*” the transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them. The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons. Leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?
2. Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.
3. They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)
4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.
5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)
6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.
7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.
8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life
9. As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea
10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)
11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.
12. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.

David writes this, which makes no sense,
“It really is a good thing your not a movie critic because apparently your not even a movie WATCHER, next time try pay attention and understand the

BASIC plot points before you write a scathing review”

Anyways I’m done. You say I don’t understand the basic plot points because:

A. I thought they had to take on the machine, not just copy the machine. This has nothing to do with me understanding the movie, and proved to be a even

bigger problem bevause you were right.

B. I thought the cannibalization to revive megatron was pointless because of all the powers they now have in this movie. YOu disagree and think he was

necessary because he is a leader. I really was criticizing him for being immortal. This is a straw man argument if you know what that is.

C. I think sam was a bad choice for Alien-Ambassador to the world because he was a teenage college freshman that no one knows anything about. You

disagree. Again this does not prove your point.

D.I think that having knowledge on time-space theorems that correct einstein qualifies as super-human intelligence, you do not. Again this is the best

thing you can come up with as a rebuttal? Why not address my points that are damning. And again this doesn;t prove that I don’t know the movie.

E.I say that having pod-people like humans would give them the power to destroy the human race, and steal any remaining parts of the cube they need.

This would work and be very successful. You say I’m wrong because they want to blow up the earth. I never said they didn’t, in fact this would be the

quickest way of getting the parts we possess and blowing up the earth. But somehow this means I didn’t understand the movie.

You are wrong, and your rebuttal only made my review of the movie more damning; and made you look like a rabid fanboy unconcerned with the real

criticisms I made of this horrible film.

Joe Vickers
Not a Film Critic