Top 10 Reasons Women Love Twilight

by Michelle Lamar on November 18, 2011

in Top 10s

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 opened at 12:01am Friday morning — as millions of Twilight fans squealed with delight. My name is Michelle and I’m a Twilight fan. Don’t hate me because I’m shallow.

I have a life. I have a college degree. I am a mother of two daughters.  I am gainfully employed in the tech industry.  And yet…I’m a card carrying Twi-Hard.  If loving The Twilight Saga is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Everyone needs to enjoy this classic girl-vampire-werewolf tale.

Huffington Post’s Rachel Weight is a Latin teacher who reads The New York Times. Rachel finds guilty pleasure in Twilight! According to Weight: ”Even grown, intelligent, cultured women can enjoy and be passionate about a series of books written for teenage girls.” Word.

I predict Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 will be the biggest film yet! Read my Top 10 Reasons Why Women Love Twilight to find out for yourself why so many educated, “normal” women –even mothers–go crazy for The Twilight Saga.

10. Twilight is a No-Calorie and Legal Addiction Twilight addiction is not illegal, has zero calories with no long-term impact.  Except maybe your loss of dignity.  Twilight moms are ridiculed by friends, family and the media.  But overall, Twilight obsession is harmless.

9. When Was the Last Time a Vampire and a Werewolf Fought Over You? – If you no longer get carded at liquor stores, the odds of two males competing for your love are practically non-existent. Say what you will — but having a vampire and a werewolf fight over you would be awesome.

8. Robert Pattinson is Dreamy – In The Twilight Saga series, actor Robert Pattinson plays vampire hero Edward Cullen. He’s dead…he’s still hot! The English accent is icing on the cake.

7. First Love is Romantic - Grown-ups have mortgages and responsibilities. Most women hardly have time to speak to their significant other, so it’s nice to see a young couple in love. It’s corny — so sue me!

Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart

6. Main Characters Wait Until Marriage to Have Sex – In a culture that promotes push-up bras for 10-year-olds and Snooki from Jersey Shore is a role model, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen wait until after they are married to have sex. When was the last time anything in the popular media promoted promoted waiting for sex? Good luck trying to come up with a movie or TV series that promotes waiting until marriage to have sex.

5. Taylor Lautner’s Six Pack – I know I could practically be his mother. I know it’s wrong. But Taylor Lautner/Jacob Black has an awesome six-pack and he’s not afraid to show it. For reasons completely unrelated to the story, Jacob Black is shirtless for 90% of the movies. The man could be reciting tax returns and most of the audience wouldn’t care. Shallow but true.

Taylor Lautner Abs

4. Bella Swan is Not a Supermodel Sex Kitten – Bella Swan is an average young woman.  She’s pretty, but she’s not Victoria’s Secret material. I think women, especially moms, get tired of watching all the really hot chicks getting the guys. If Bella Swan can date an insanely hot (but dead) guy, there’s hope for the rest of womankind.

3. Main Characters Have Dysfunctional Families – Bella and Edward put the FUN back in Dysfunctional!  Seriously. Bella’s parents are divorced while Edward’s family has to move every few years and a couple of Edward’s siblings want to kill Bella sometimes. Every family has issues and this couple works it out.

2. Edward Cullen Has His Own Island – Money can’t buy happiness but having your own island is one of the perks of being  immortal. The grind of daily life is brutal, so the idea of a boyfriend or husband with tons of cash to throw around and multiple homes all over the world doesn’t sound bad.

1. Twilight is So Bad It’s Good – Like a triple scoop of double-chocolate-chip ice cream, Twilight is bad for us.  The Twilight Saga does not increase brain activity or cure cancer.  The Twilight Saga is SO bad…it’s GOOD.

If you are a closet Twi-Hard or a proud public member of the Twilight Army of Fans, you need to check out the Scene Stealers review of Twilight: Breaking Dawn and the Top 5 Twilight Spoofs.

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Xavier November 21, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Number 4 is just direct Mary Sue fantasy, which is all the entire series is, wish fulfillment, take an average looking girl with no discernible personality and have all the attractive guys completely fall head over heels for her, of course women are going to love it. The series is bad, but I can indulge a guilty pleasure and wish fulfillment through fiction.
The thing about the series that really gets me annoyed is the double standard it highlights. I have a real problem with the older women who fawn over teenage boys taking their shirts off. If you flipped the situation and a bunch of middle aged men were ogling young actresses in little clothing, even going so far as to make fan groups where they congregate to discuss how hot they are, they would be seen as creepy.

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2 Dave November 22, 2011 at 11:50 pm

One of my problems is in the execution, which is why you probably say its so bad its good. I understand people wanting a lot of the basic elements. But its not too much to ask to give them those things coupled with good writing and good acting.

My other problem is that you can, in fact, get those things, and with a lot of emotional depth and humor. Its called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There are seven seasons and plenty of eye candy. You don’t need to sit through Twilight.

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3 biji m. January 23, 2012 at 9:13 pm

yeah, how come it has to be so BAD it’s good? why couldn’t they at least attempt to make it so GOOD it’s good?? i’m not a frothing-at-the-mouth twilight hater dweeb or anything – and i seriously agree with you on the whole abstinence thing in this day and age – but everything i’ve seen (from the MOVIES, anyway) is pretty painfully done. im not sure i agree with your rationale of LIKING something because it’s shabbily done. or maybe you don’t think it’s bad on the same level i do. oh well. enjoy your movies.

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4 Llanet February 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I am a 13 year old. I read Twilight when I was 10. I read the first book of the Harry Potter series when I was 7. I´ve read all of the New York Times Best Sellers, the ones directed at teens, and the ones directed at adults. I´ve read Lisa Jackson and Stephen king. I read Shakespeare and Plato, I read some of the Bible too. I have read Gabriel García Marquez and Oppenheimer, Dostoyevsky, Gorki, I´ve read thousands of psychology books on mental insanity and on “How to understand your teenage daughter”. Now, Why would you even care about this? Well I want to state that even if I am a a thirteen year old I think I´ve read , somehow, enought books to have an opinion on this and: Twilight is by far the worst series I´ve ever read. The characters lack development, the books lack structure, the grammar plainly sucks and … well I can write about a million reasonable reasons for my dislike to this series but they won´t fit in here.
And, I am still a kid but even from my perspective a bunch of 40 year old women drooling over 17 years old can´t be called anything else but pedophilia. Oh, The movies were absolute crap. And I am not talking about the story or the books at all. I am talking about the ones who did the acting and the special effects. For example, the part were Edward sparkles, I could have made the same effects bathing him in glitter. Well that is all. I would like to hear someone´s arguments on this opinions are always welcomed.
(Sorry for bad English it is not my native language)
-Thanks

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