Today’s Top 10 comes from Andrew Reed, a frequent contributor who runs the excellent Fighting the Youth blog, and currently resides in Argentina. This is a great list that I hope you all enjoy! If you have a Top 10 list you’d like to contribute to Scene-Stealers, drop me a note at eric@scene-stealers.com and let me know! Here’s Andrew:

Directors ranging from Martin Scorsese to the Coen Brothers have made countless movies depicting older men cozying up to younger women who may or may not be naïve to the ways of romance (see also: Allen, Woody). But what of the kinder, older women who awaken young men to adulthood in the most giving way possible? I’m referring of course to cougars, to use the parlance of our time. Urbandictionary defines cougar as “a 35+ year old female who is on the hunt for a much younger male.” Some would say that any definition requires use of the word “pounce.” But whatever your take on the word’s official meaning, let’s take a moment to celebrate the women who teach more than they tease, the Top 10 Movie Cougars.

10. Mrs. Betty Carver, “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” (1993)

Johnny Depp’s Gilbert Grape has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Well, perhaps just the weight of his family, but given his mother’s considerable girth, it probably feels the same. Gilbert allows himself only one indulgence, an affair with a married woman (Mary Steenburgen) whom he visits when delivering groceries. There is certainly pouncing–involving ice cream. Though Gilbert is emotionally uninvolved and relatively unaffected when Betty leaves town after her husband’s death, it sets him up for better things when a more age-appropriate romance passes through town.

Betty: “Gilbert. I’ll need a delivery later.”

9. Alex Barnett, “Loverboy” (1989)

Needing extra cash to pay for college, Randy Bodek (Patrick Dempsey playing the same lovable asshole he always does) takes a summer job delivering pizzas. Finding the funds insufficient and frustration with the silly sombrero he has to wear, Randy stumbles into a more lucrative side job that involves the bedding of pretty much every married woman in town. Really, I could have chosen anyone from the female cast of this movie. But Alex (Barbara Carrera) is the one who sets the whole thing in motion. Thanks to her tutelage, before long Randy is toting roses, dressing in a tuxedo, and ballroom dancing with his clients. His business endeavor falls apart when his mother orders his services and he is nearly killed by a band of angry husbands led by Vic Tayback. Also, his girlfriend happens to be in town, forcing him to divulge how he had been earning funds to return to campus. She is initially furious, but his newfound dancing skills win her over and she forgives him.

Alex: “Dear Randy, of course I prefer you naked, but if you must wear something, it should be the best.”

8. Ellen Burroughs, “Class” (1983)

Jonathan (Andrew McCarthy) is a nerdy, shy kid who gets a scholarship to a prestigious prep school. He is assigned to room with the rich and handsome Skip (Rob Lowe). After initially picking on Jonathan mercilessly, Skip makes it his business to get Jonathan laid. He sends him to a Chicago bar where Jonathan lucks into a mysterious older woman way out of his league named Ellen (Jacqueline Bisset) and eagerly returns to tell Skip all about it. Ellen ends the tryst upon discovering that Jonathan is only 17, but it is not the last they see of each other. When he accompanies Skip home for Christmas, Jonathan is horrified to discover that Ellen is Skip’s mother. The affair continues in fits and starts. It’s probably not the best way for a shy kid to learn about love and sex. At least Skip can claim his mission was accomplished even if it wasn’t the way he envisioned it.

Jonathan: “You’re asking me, the turd?”

Ellen: “Well, you look like a pretty… sensitive turd to me.”

7. Nora Baker, “White Palace” (1990)

Released just seven months after “Pretty Woman,” “White Palace” was a more serious take on the situation. Also, it features Jason Alexander playing basically the same exact role. But instead of the ridiculous notion of a rich executive falling in love with a street hooker (perfectly spoofed by Dave Chappelle), James Spader is a successful but lonely widower who reluctantly falls for a diner waitress in St. Louis named Nora (Susan Sarandon). She is a nurturing figure for him, able to help him overcome his grief with a steady diet of kitchen table sex. That he’s 27 and she’s 43 only makes their socio-economic differences that much more challenging. When he introduces her to his friends, the self-proclaimed “dumb hoosier” fails to fit in.

Nora: Honey, I got everything you need.

6. Marion Wormer, “Animal House” (1979)

When I was a kid, the Deltas seemed so mature and wise–even Pinto. Perhaps this is because Tim “Otter” Matheson and Peter “Boon” Riegert were already 30 years old. Regardless, when Otter picks up the dean’s wife (Verna Bloom) at a local grocery store by talking about his cucumber, it’s immediately clear that she’s the mature person in the conversation, showing up his banal banter with a more direct confidence. While Otter didn’t need any education in the bedroom, Mrs. Wormer did present him with the ultimate conquest, and opportunity he clearly relishes the moment she stumbles into the fraternity’s toga party. Despite his insipid efforts at making her a cocktail she clearly doesn’t need, Otter finds a way to stick it to the dean the best way he can.
Otter: “Mrs. Wormer, I’m so glad you could come.”

Marion Wormer: “Cut the crap. Get me a drink.”

5. Stifler’s Mom, “American Pie” (1999)

The movie that popularized the term MILF delivered on the acronym’s promise in a big way, and I’m not just talking about Jennifer Coolidge’s hair. With the four male protagonists all having pledged to conquer virginity before the end of high school, Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) appears to be the farthest behind in the game after a disastrous bathroom incident. At the post-prom party, ever the mature teenager interested in the finer things, he goes looking for something unique and stumbles across a bored and lonely Stifler’s mother. The two click so well that Finch remains obsessed with her well into future movies.

Stifler’s Mom: “I’ve got some scotch.”

Finch: “Single malt?”

Stifler’s Mom: “Aged 18 years. The way I like it.”

4. Luisa Cortés, “Y Tu Mamá También” (2001)

Someone once described narrative storytelling as either “someone takes a journey or a stranger comes to town.” For teenagers Tenoch (Diego Luna) and Julio (Gael García Bernal), both of these apply. Believing that they’re a lot more mature than they really are, the best friends decide to hit on Luisa (Maribel Verdú) at a wedding even though she is married. Perhaps they should have been more surprised when she agrees to go on a road trip with them to a secret beach in a location that nobody knows, including them. Along the way, she teaches them about love and sex and generally how to act like an adult. She’s operating on an entirely different level than they knew existed. It’s not that Luisa’s so old, but more that her companions are so young and, um, impressionable. I won’t spoil the ending, but let’s just say that she opens their minds to things they never believed were possible.

Luisa: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.

Tenoch: What kind of friend is always hiding?

3. Maude, “Harold and Maude” (1971)

At 79 years old, I don’t know if Maude (Ruth Gordon) qualifies as a cougar because she’s quite possibly too old to pounce without breaking a hip. But it doesn’t stop her from garnering the carnal advances of the young and suicidal Harold (Bud Cort). She doesn’t just give him a romp in the hay, but instills in him a real desire to live. Honestly, when someone first told me about this movie, I believed the premise was so far-fetched that there was no way the movie could work. But somehow the two characters really match, to the point where you’re not completely grossed out with the idea of Maude and Harold getting it on. Harold had younger women throwing themselves at him (well, at least his mother was throwing them at him), but he was only interested in pretending to kill himself in front of them. In the end, Maude changes his life through the most surprising romance in movie history.

Maude: “A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They’re just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.”

2. Norma Desmond, “Sunset Boulevard” (1950)

Sometimes cougars aren’t just in it for the sex. Sometimes they take it all very, very seriously. When down on his luck screenwriter Joe Gillis (William Holden) stumbles into washed up silent film star Norma Desmond’s life (real-life silent queen Gloria Swanson), he obtains sanctuary from money problems and a life on easy street. But he’s not in love with her. The more time he spends with Desmond, the sooner he realizes that she is completely insane. He wants to leave, but feels too much sympathy for her and enjoys the continued sugar-momma treatment. SPOILER ALERT! He remains in the relationship as long as he can, but eventually declares he is ending it. Desmond is furious and shoots him in the back, killing him. The consolation is that it finally gives her the attention she has been craving and feels she deserves.

Norma Desmond: No one ever leaves a star. That’s what makes one a star!

1. Mrs. Robinson, “The Graduate” (1967)

This has to be the most obvious #1 in Scene-Stealers history, right? I’m tempted to write nothing at all, but here goes: Poor Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) never stood a chance. A young college graduate with no plans and no ambition, he is easily seduced by the wife of his father’s business partner. Though Ben is reluctant to engage in the affair, he doesn’t put up much of a fight. Throughout the relationship, Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft) calls all the shots, telling Benjamin when and where to meet, and generally controlling his every move. After several months of assignations, Ben reluctantly develops interest in Mrs. Robinson’s daughter, Elaine. Whether Mrs. Robinson can be credited with giving Ben a jump start that leads to his obsession is debatable, but there’s no question that she helped remove him from his funk. One could argue that Mrs. Robinson was taking advantage of the meek Ben, or that his betrayal of her makes her the real victim. Either way, there’s no debate that she’s the #1 movie cougar of all time.

Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?

Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I am not trying to seduce you.

Benjamin: I know that, but please, Mrs. Robinson, this is difficult.

Mrs. Robinson: Would you like me to seduce you?

Benjamin: What?

Mrs. Robinson: Is that what you’re trying to tell me?

Tags: 10, best, Cougars, film, films, hot, list, men, MILF, moms, movie, movies, old, older, ten, Top 10 Lists, top ten, women, young, younger

Our Top 10 today is a very specific and quite unusual one. It comes to us from Scene-Stealers sitegoer and Moviefreak.com contributor George Schmidt, who has a thing for larger-than-life women, and it sounds like these lasses are responsible for more than one important moment in his life. If you have a Top 10 of your own you’d like to submit, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Until then, enjoy George’s towering list of Top 10 Sexiest Cinematic Giantesses. Here’s George:

What is missing from today’s cinema? Two words: giant women. Or specifically, giantess films. Sure science fiction has offered a few memorable moments for the silver screen in the past, but it’s been a dearth of the sexy subgenre. What is it about large ladies (and for the record, I don’t mean heavy women; that’s another category altogether) that is so appealing? Is it the domination of a sexy woman in little (or no) clothing as a pure wet-dream fantasy? The powerful status of a woman literally towering above all of her domain? Or simply the guilty pleasure of seeing tiny men with ginormous babes?

There’s a fetish as well (some more for ‘vore’: violence/gore factors, while the main strain seems to be ‘gentle’ ; I vote for the latter). Would it kill the powers to be to come up with some giant women films? There’s a plethora of lovely women I’d love to see on the ‘big’ screen (Famke Janssen, Gina Gershon, Elisabeth Shue, Angelina Jolie, Parker Posey…well, the list goes on and on, and I’m sure many out there have their faves. If not, this list should help you start mulling it over!) There’ve been so many adaptations of TV shows lately, so when are they going to do a film version of “Land of the Giants” with say any number of MTV generation babes ballooned up to Brobdingnagian heights? The only film I know on the immediate horizon featuring a giantess is the upcoming animated film “Monsters vs. Aliens,” which is probably fun for the whole family. It’s a send-up of ‘50s sci-fi creature features with Reese Witherspoon voicing the young large lady. Anyway, here are my ten picks and reasons why. (Note: sadly some are only onscreen for a few moments and not an entire full length film. Hollywood get with the program!)

10. Marcia Strassman - “Honey, I Blew Up the Kid” (1992)

This inevitable sequel to the 1989 Disney hit “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” continues the geeky adventures of intrepid scientist nerd Wayne Szalinski (‘80s gorgon Rick Moranis) whose latest endeavor has accidentally caused his toddler to become a big kid on the block. In the film’s climax, Strassman takes matters into her own hand when her youngest is threatened by the military. She zooms up to several hundred feet high (guesstimate: 200-foot mad mama) and scoops up the helicopter that’s aiming for her son with a firm “Back off!” It’s too bad Wayne didn’t think of it earlier. See clip:

9. Elizabeth Hurley – “Bedazzled” (2000)

“Bedazzled” is a middling remake of the seminal 1967 British comedy that teamed Dudley Moore and Peter Cook—a Faustian tale about a noodnik (Brendan Fraser) with bad luck who makes a deal with the devil. The remake, however, gets a decidedly 21st century upgrade: the devil is in a red dress and in the comely form of Elizabeth Hurley. When the beleaguered Fraser attempts to get out of his otherworldly contract of fate, it only makes Satan steamed. In one brief, but memorable moment, Ms. Hurley gets her ya-yas out in anger in the form of what I can only term “sudden giantess”. Oh, if Fraser only desired to get into Satan herself! See clip: (begins @ 3:24) Sorry about the music—couldn’t find any clips with the dialogue!

8. Jodi Ann Paterson –“Dude, Where’s My Car?” (2000)

At the “climax” of this idiotic ode to stupidity (see redundancy), a gaggle of sexy aliens who are involved with some ridiculous scheme become so enraged with Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher’s slacker morons that they merge into one “Super Hot Giant Alien” (played by former Playboy Playmate of the Year Paterson). The morphing results in a brief rampage at an arcade and a scene where she steps over a middle-aged father and his young son gazing at the wonder above them, which results in this exchange:

Birthday Son: I want to go on that ride, Daddy.
Birthday Father: Me, too, Son. Me, too.

7. Dorothy Ford – “Jack and the Beanstalk” (1952)

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello’s mildly amusing family film of the storybook classic casts Lou as Jack, told in fantasy-dream state, who is greeted at the top of the beanstalk’s cloudy environs by Polly (Amazonian Ford). She is the Giant’s main squeeze, but obviously wants nothing to do with the big lout and instead takes a liking to chubby Costello, including this pas de deux:

6. Heidi Klum – “Ella Enchanted” (2004)

In this fractured fairy tale, Anne Hathaway is a Cinderella-type gal who encounters many storybook characters including a gaggle of giants. One of them is the German supermodel Heidi Klum, who is considerably taller than she appears on “Project Runway.” She becomes the object of affection of one of Hathaway’s friends and she gets a hold of more than his heart as shown in this clip (:35 and :55):

5. Anita Ekberg –“Boccacio ‘70” (1962)

“Boccacio ‘70” is a compendium of vignettes from famous Italian filmmakers, including Federico Fellini, who allows his love of gargantuan gals take the shapely form of his muse Ekberg (“La Dolce Vita”). She is depicted here as a threat to society—or so the persnickety Dr. Antonio believes. When her image on a billboard endorsing milk comes to life in the form of a 100-foot goddess, she bedevils the prudish ass by playfully chasing him in the dead of night, eventually scooping him up to her mammoth chest. The metaphor of motherhood has never been so obvious. Got Milk indeed! See clip:

4. J.J. North & Tammy Parks – “Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds” (1995)

This schlocky send-up of ‘50s B-movies-cum-sexploitation flick made on the cheap is best seen on late-night cable TV. North and Parks are a pair of competitive models who want to increase the size of their breasts but instead become large lovelies. The result? Lots of painful puns and mediocre F/X. Ahmet and Dweezil Zappa explain their love for the movie in this series of clips, featuring plenty of movie moments—enough for you to get the picture:

3. Dorothy Provine – “The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock” (1959)

Previously mentioned funnyman Lou Costello made only one film after his split with fellow icon Bud Abbott, and sadly didn’t live to see its release (he died five months prior after a heart attack from a bout of rheumatic fever). The movie is a high (pun intended)-concept-sci-fi romcom about a ne’er-do-well rubbish-collector-turned-inventor whose fiancée Emmy Lou (girl-next-door type Provine) is accidentally exposed to a mysterious fogbank in the local park. That spurts her to become the titular character (yes the couple do in fact get hitched, but as you can imagine the honeymoon doesn’t go as planned!). Provine is fetching in a modified toga with a statuesque physique, underlined with a small, lovely voice that is only enhanced when she is displeased—as you can well imagin—at her newfound predicament. This film so needs a remake; say, Eva Mendes and Jack Black? “Heeyyyyyyyyyy Abbbotttttt!!!!!” See clip below:

2. Allison Hayes/Daryl Hannah - “Attack of The 50 Foot Woman” (1958/1993)

Perhaps the grandmamma of all giantess films (well, at least in 1958, the first) is this tall tale about boozy heiress Nancy Archer (Hayes in the original, Hannah in the re-imagining) whose close encounter with a UFO causes her to inexplicably shoot up to 50 feet. Both films have the title character’s unfaithful husband getting his comeuppance (the first one proves fatal, while the ‘93 version gets only a life lesson, in its neo-feminist treatise spin). Hayes’ iconic bedsheet-bikini-clad behemoth was what awakened yours truly sexually, and started my appreciation of the giantess genre in general. While the ‘58 cult classic is a truly laughable exercise in Ed Wood-ian style over substance (Dig that ridiculous Plaster of Paris/paper mache hand and the transparent giants looming on the horizons!), the film is now revered as one of the most recognizable sci-fi titles. And, that poster: First of all, she’s about 200 feet tall and it is now considered post-ironic artistry. (I have a framed reproduction myself.) So much for the hyped “attack,” which only occurs in the final few moments of epic mediocrity—one trashed mansion, hotel bedroom, a town bar, amd just two fatalities. (The hussy her hubby was seeing gets hit by a beam and the adulterer is crushed to death in the palm of his betrothed. The shaking rag doll with a terrified voiceover is truly hypnotic!) 1958 version:

As for the newer movie, Hannah’s makeover after her cosmic venture is borderline ridiculous (she looks like a refugee from the Pat Benatar “Love is A Battlefield” music video), but the forced perspective F/X are pretty impressive. Extra bonus fact: The movie was directed by comedy genius Christopher Guest. 1993 version:

1. Joy Harmon – “Village of the Giants” (1965)

The alpha and omega of giantess films: This sci-fi teen romp is about a pack of out-of-town joyriding teens led by Beau Bridges (!) that wind up in a small town after crashing their car in a rain storm. They stumble upon the resident “genius” (Ronnie Howard –Opie!) who has created a growth goo that they abscond in a fracas with the townies’ teens. After ingesting the orange slab of gunk, the teens grow 30 feet tall and proceed to take over the town—after doing some groovy dancing of course. Harmon’s Merrie (great moniker for a somewhat gentle, mischief-making giantess) is the standout from not one, not two, but four giant babes!! Her ample bodice is put on full display lovingly by schlockmeister Bert I. Gordon (Read initials as BIG—he also helmed giant films “The Cyclops”, “The Amazing Colossal Man,” and its sequel “War of the Colossal Beast.” He also directed gi-ANT sci-fi flick “Empire of the Ants” and “Food of the Gods” which was a remake of “Ants” (!!!!), based ever-so-loosely on H.G. Wells’ novel (!!!!!) ). Harmon’s dance with “The Rifleman”’s Johnny Crawford is an iconic moment, as the tiny guy hangs from her swaying cleavage (see clips below). This is almost as great as the climactic showdown with her chest. This movie is truly memorable and a remake is so damn necessary (take your pick of any number of CW-worthy hotties or even a Jessica Alba/Jessica Biel /Jaime Pressly combo!). In summation, two words: Joy Harmon. Truly ginormous hottie!
**one last bit of trivia: Ms. Harmon was the wet-dream gal of George Kennedy, washing her car ever-so-suggestively in “Cool Hand Luke” (1968) and she is currently an owner of a bakery in California. Dance sequence:

Climactic cleavage reunion:

Tags: 10, 50, attack, Cinematic, foot, giant, Giantesses, huge, large, lovely, Sexiest, sexy, ten, top, Top 10 Sexiest Cinematic Giantesses, woman, women