It’s a bad pun to make, but “Land of the Lost” is just that. Caught in an unfunny netherworld between kid-oriented mainstream summer entertainment and a cheap-looking green-screened sort of surreality, “Land of the Lost” might have been a watchable—no—bearable movie had it just embraced one or the other fully.

Instead, what we are left with in this adaptation of the Sid and Marty Krofft Saturday-morning kids’ show (that ran for three seasons in the 1970s) is a half-baked and uninspired lark of a film that will probably please nobody.

The names are the same as the TV program, but the roles are different. Will Ferrell’s Rick Marshall is now a quantum paleontologist (!) who was publicly humiliated for his belief in a parallel universe that he has yet to prove exists. Holly is no longer his daughter—she’s a budding scientist (played by Anna Friel) who believes Marshall is correct and wants to help him find this world. Will is played by Danny McBride, doing a lesser version of his redneck schtick from “Pineapple Express” and HBO’s “Eastbound and Down.”

Through a series of events too ridiculous to spend time relaying here (but not strange enough to be subversive in any way), the trio ends up in this universe where past, present, and future co-exist. Director Brad Silberling apparently felt the premise was too silly to properly set up because he spends barely any time with his characters before dumping them in the CGI landmark-strewn sand dunes that make up this “lost” world. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that it is so underwhelming.

The production design was probably trying to mimic the cheapness of the original’s sets and costumes, but since the movie never commits to a parodic tone and never really goes overboard with its extravagance, it just looks shoddy. A bunch of world landmarks stuck in the sand with a Bob’s Big Boy statue and other 70s icons does not make a convincing alternate reality—it just looks like laziness.

Though it should be noted that the CGI dinosaurs look very convincing—which is odd, since the mysterious race of Sleestaks are obviously men wearing lizard suits. Why they didn’t go with herky-jerky stop-motion dinos to match the cheesy lizard suits is beyond me. Again—no consistency.

Monkey-boy Cha-Ka (Saturday Night Live writer and Lonely Island member Jorma Taccone) is a beloved weirdo from the show, but in the movie he’s turned into an annoying horndog who is responsible for about half of the movie’s unfortunate stable of pee and poo jokes. He’s not the one that drenches Marshall in a big bag of urine, however. Twice Ferrell gets to do that “joke.” “Land of the Lost” is so desperate for laughs that it resorts to this kind of stuff far too often, and it’s pretty beneath everybody.

It could be said that adapting a movie from source material that is more well known for being hokey was a dubious idea in the first place, but that would be too simplistic an approach to laying the blame. With Will Ferrell and Danny McBride in two of the three lead roles, “Land of the Lost” had the potential to be an off-the-wall adventure with a winking, nostalgic tone.

One hint of the “movie that never was” (and the only time I laughed out loud) is a scene where McBride realizes the unusual electronic processing powers of a certain giant crystal. Immediately he starts singing Cher’s “Believe” with Ferrell and their voices ring out with the same vocoder effect. It’s such a random moment of absurdity that it makes me wonder what this screenplay would have been like if the writers (Dennis McNicholas and Chris Henchy) had embraced all the opportunities for a clever spoof.

On the other hand, “Land of the Lost” certainly doesn’t follow the classic blockbuster Hollywood mentality either, because the script is so unfocused and characters so non-existent that there is no forward motion or reason to root for anybody. Maybe when Will Ferrell signed on, the producers heaved a sigh of relief because they spent all their time securing the rights to film the movie and knew they’d spent no time on the script. They probably thought, “Throw Will in with a bunch of Sleestax, Cha-Ka, some dinosaurs, and we got a movie! He’ll just improvise the rest!”

That may explain why “Land of the Lost” very often took me to the verge of laughter.

Tags: 2009, anna, danny, ferrell, film, friel, Land of the Lost, mcbride, movie, movie review, review, will, will ferrell

Just got this in my inbox about 10 minutes ago. I hope he does something different with it this time because his “Halloween” remake was about half good.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK (December 16, 2008) — Dimension Films - the successful genre and specialty arm of The Weinstein Company - is pleased to announce that the company will make “H2,” the sequel to Rob Zombie’s 2007 reinvention of the horror classic “Halloween.”  Once again, Rob Zombie has been tapped to write and direct.  Malek Akkad of Trancas International Films, who also produced 2007’s Halloween with Dimension, will produce the sequel, along with Andy Gould of Spectacle Entertainment Group, Zombie’s long time manager and producing partner.  The announcement was made today by Bob Weinstein, Co-Chairman of The Weinstein Company.

Dimension’s “Halloween” scored the highest Labor Day weekend opening ever with a record-breaking $30.6 million in its first four days of release and went on to gross nearly $60 million at the domestic box office in 2007.

Zombie’s “H2” will pick up at the exact moment the first movie stopped and follow the aftermath of Michael Myers murderous rampage through the eyes of heroine Laurie Strode.

“H2” will be Zombie’s fifth written and directed feature.  Prior to the success of Halloween, Zombie released the critically-acclaimed film “The Devil’s Rejects” (2005), the follow-up to his cult classic “House of 1000 Corpses” (2004).  Zombie just wrapped production on his animated feature film “The Haunted World of El Superbeasto” due to be released in 2009.  Zombie, also an accomplished recording artist, has sold over fifteen million albums worldwide, making him one of Geffen Records’ top selling and longest running artists.

Bob Weinstein stated: “Following the success of 2007’s ‘Halloween,’ we are thrilled to be back in business with Rob Zombie, bringing a sequel to theatres.  The fans have made it clear – and we agree - that they feel the franchise is in great hands with Rob Zombie.”

Rob Zombie said, ”I am very excited to be working with Bob Weinstein again and returning to the world of ‘Halloween.’ The remake laid the groundwork, now it’s time to really take Michael Myers to the next level. I believe we’ve just barely scratched the surface of where we can take this series.“

John Carpenter’s “Halloween” launched the Halloween franchise in 1978 and Moustapha Akkad, founder of Trancas International Films, executive produced the original classic. Akkad’s son Malek has continued with the franchise, producing “Halloween” (2007), “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later” (1998) and now, “H2.”

“I am thrilled to be making ‘H2’ at Dimension, the home of the ‘Halloween’ franchise for the last 15 years,” commented Malek Akkad.  “I look forward to working again with Bob Weinstein, as well as a filmmaker of Rob Zombie’s talent and stature.”

Tags: 2007, direct, H2, halloween, Rob, sequel, to, will, zombie

It is way to early to think about this (or maybe not, since Oliver Stone’s “W” dramatized the life of a sitting president), but I keep hearing the word “history” used over and over again today in the media. Barack Obama getting elected the 44th President of the United States is certainly historic. I even heard a caller on a talk show this morning talk about how tears were streaming down his face while he watched the TV last night.

“It was like the ending of ‘Ben-Hur’!” he said.

History being compared to movies. I think that’s a signal that now it’s time to think about who will play Obama in the eventual biopic of his life.

“Too soon!” you may say. And, technically, I might agree. But isn’t it fun to play the game?

It’s crazy how quickly current events are turned around into historical films these days. HBO’s recent “Recount” was about the fight over the 2000 election. Paul Greengrass’ amazing “United 93″ conveyed the immediacy and urgency of Sept. 11. On the less serious side of things, the usual turnaround of TV movies about sensational news stories like the Texas cheerleader scandal, the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan incident, or the baby caught in a well has been traditionally very fast. (And how many Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuco movies were rushed into production?)

Especially in this lightning-fast communications age, we are also able to see history as it happens. What’s bizarre is how quickly an event can be registered as “history.” No doubt, yesterday was one of those days. And movies and TV played a huge part in the making of yesterday’s election results. Don’t think that they didn’t. Besides the fact that Americans had two full years to observe the way Obama carried himself as a public figure, we also had two years to get used to the idea of a black president. It wasn’t that hard; it’s something that has been out there in the culture for quite awhile.

It’s often said the Hollywood is extremely liberal, so black actors portraying the President in movies like “Deep Impact” (Morgan Freeman) or “Head of State” (Chris Rock) are no surprises. (Not to mention “The Fifth Element,” “Idiocracy,” “The Man,” although those weren’t necessarily game-changers). Probably the role with biggest cultural effect, however, was from Fox’s “24,” a TV show created, ironically, by a conservative writer/producer.

David Palmer (played by Dennis Haysbert, the reassuring presence from those Allstate commercials) was one of those tough presidents who tackled problems with an equal amount of smarts and morality. He was the kind of president you’d wish we could have in the White House one day, and his run on that popular TV show did a lot to get the country used to the idea of a black president, I believe. He was assassinated after he was out of office, and his brother Wayne Palmer (D.B. Woodside) was elected not long after that. Two black presidents. One show. Plus lots of sketchy, scheming white men swirling around them…

Now that the moment is upon us, let’s get hypothetical. What current actor has the range, gravity, and physical characteristics to play President-elect Barack Obama in a movie?

My top choice would be Jeffrey Wright, who was so good as the moral compass in “W.” He played Colin Powell as a character, not an impersonation. His conflict and conscience were guiding lights in a movie where virtually everyone else had their own agendas. He’s proven in tons of great supporting roles (Bill Murray’s loquacious best friend in “Broken Flowers” and the uber-confident villain in “Shaft” leap to mind) that he’s got the chops and I think he could portray Obama’s tenacity in all the key moments in his life.

Will Smith would obviously be any movie producer’s first choice due to his box office clout, and I think he could handle it. He made me forget he was Will Smith in Michael Mann’s flawed-but-interesting “Ali,” and would have the same uphill battle portraying another very famous face were he to tackle Obama.

Terrence Howard, recently let go as Jim Rhodes in the “Iron Man” series, might be a good choice. He was totally convincing in his Oscar-nominated role as the pimp-turned-rapper in “Hustle and Flow,” and that same year played a successful yuppie TV producer in “Crash.” (Though I hated the movie, his performance was quite good.)

Lastly, I think British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor is a true chameleon. Having appeared in everything from “Children of Men” down to “Love Actually,” he is probably the most versatile actor on this list. Plus, he is not a household name or a bankable actor yet, so his personality won’t get in the way of Obama. Right now, especially with his hard-to-pronounce name, he is still “that guy who’s always good in everything he does.” He also has a history of choosing really risky roles with great directors over more commercial work,

Now it’s time to hear from you all. It’s probably too early, but we all know it’s a great story, and Hollywood loves great stories, especially the against-all-odds “only in America” kind.

Who do you think should play President-elect Barack Obama in the inevitable movie biopic?

Tags: actor, barack, biopic, Chiwetel, dennis, Ejiofor, film, haysbert, hollywood, howard, jeffrey, life, movie, obama, play, president, should, smith, terrence, who, will, wright

Well, now that the two-year presidential campaign is finally over, it’s time to turn our heads once again towards the race leading up to next year’s Oscars. 2008 is looking like a pretty paltry year for prestige pics thus far, and now that the Cormac McCarthy adaptation “The Road” (starring Viggo Mortensen) and director Joe Wright’s “The Soloist” (starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx) have been moved to 2009, the viable list of true contenders seems to be thinning.

(The absence of “The Soloist” also means that the Oscar campaign for Downey Jr.’s risky and hilarious supporting turn in “Tropic Thunder” will start getting real serious. Which is really funny, considering that he was making a mockery of the entire “awards culture” by playing an over-serious method actor vying for an Oscar by getting his skin color altered to play a black man.)

Big campaigns are being launched for two of the year’s most critically acclaimed movies, “Wall-E” and “The Dark Knight.” the Andrew Stanton Pixar film suffers, of course, from its status as an animated movie and possibly being relegated to the Best Animated Film category alone. “The Dark Knight,” while sure to get a nom for Heath Ledger’s lightning-in-a-bottle performance as the Joker, suffers from being a superhero adaptation. Even though Christopher Nolan’s hugely grossing film (the second biggest of all time) reflects the societal and political issues of today’s world, it still features a guy in a batsuit who growls a lot.

The Los Angeles Times Awards Insider features six writers who will be handicapping Oscar chances from now until the nominations are announced. It’s one thing to discuss a movie after its release, but it always kind of bugs me when people speak of “buzz” before the movie is even announced. Remember all the advance hype on Will Smith’s “The Legend of Bagger Vance”? Neither does anybody else; it died as soon as everyone saw the picture.

So take this with a grain of salt, but the chances for “The Dark Knight,” David Fincher’s upcoming “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” and Danny Boyle’s “Slumdog Millionaire” are looking real good, according to these critics.

Others with a good shot: Baz Luhrmann’s “Australia,” Ron Howard’s “Frost/Nixon,” Gus Van Sant’s “Milk,” and Sam Mendes’ “Revolutionary Road.”

Tags: 2008, best, christopher, dark, heath, knight, ledger, nolan, nomination, odds, oscar, picture, the, will, Win