I’m pretty sure Ed Wood would have loved “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant“. Messy, flawed, riddled with odd choices and questionable casting, and stuck with a plot that make less sense as it progresses, The Vampire’s Assistant is in every way a B-movie. And, I’ll admit, I kinda liked it.

Based on a series of novels by Darren Shan, the film’s main plot revolves around a rather bland high school student, Darren (Chris Massoglia), and his more rambunctious best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson), whose main purpose it seems is to get Darren into as much trouble as possible.

A night out takes the pair to a freak show where events unfold that lead Darren into an agreement with vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) in order to save his friend. Leaving behind his life, Darren becomes part vampire, and begins his new life in the Cirque du Freak as Crepsley’s assistant.

There’s quite a bit else that occurs in the movie concerning Darren, Steve, the mysterious Mr. Tiny (Michael Cerveris), the war between vampires (those who feed on but don’t kill humans) and the vampanese (those who, well, leave bloody messes in their wake). Not all of it makes sense, in fact much of it seems little more than convoluted nonsense to keep the story moving to its final big showdown.

When the film attempts to try and make sense of its plot, it fails spectacularly. However, when the film lets Darren’s story unfold as he discovers the new world around him … well, it doesn’t quite succeed, but it puts on a good show.

I also found the script’s rather flippant take on vampire lore amusing. “Can I turn into a bat?” Darren asks, “No, that’s bullshit.” his new mentor replies. Realizing that the material they’re working with isn’t exactly Shakespeare, no one takes things too seriously. The result is an amusing little train wreck that doesn’t leave too much carnage in its wake.

Although the main role of Darren is hopelessly miscast (and the best friend isn’t that much better) there are some nice supporting performances. Reilly is fun to watch as something far removed from your average movie vampire, and Salma Hayek works quite well as his bearded lady girlfriend (even if the part did remind me a little too much of HBO’s “Carnivale”).

Patrick Fugit is near unrecognizable as Snake Boy, and, although her character isn’t handled as well as I’d like, Jessica Carlson adds a little spark to the second half of the film.

“Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant” is deeply flawed. The film is a mess and certainly not for everyone. And even if it doesn’t make a helluva lot of sense, it didn’t bore me (an offense I’d be much less willing to forgive). The right audience–and you know who you are–should be able to find a hour or two of enjoyment out of this strange little movie. Just keep your expectations low and think of Ed Wood before the titles start to roll.

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We have passes for you and a guest to attend the advance screening of CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT on Tuesday, October 20 at 7:30 PM at the AMC Studio 30 (119th & I-35).

All you need to do is fill out the form below. We’ll have a random drawing on Friday, October 16 to determine the winners. Here’s the trailer, website for the film, and a synopsis from the studio:

John C. Reilly, Ken Watanabe, Josh Hutcherson, Chris Massoglia, Ray Stevenson, Patrick Fugit, with Willem Dafoe and Salma Hayek star in Universal Pictures’
CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT.

CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT, based on the popular series of books by Darren Shan, is a fantasy-adventure about a teenager who unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires. Pulled into a fantastic life of misunderstood sideshow freaks and grotesque creatures of the night, one teen will vanish from the safety of a boring existence and fulfill his destiny in a place drawn from nightmares.

16-year-old Darren (Chris Massoglia) was like most kids in his suburban neighborhood. He hung out with his best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson), got decent grades and usually stayed out of trouble. But when he and his buddy stumble upon a traveling freak show, things begin to change inside Darren. That’s the exact moment when a vampire named Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) turns him into something, well, bloodthirsty.

Newly undead, he joins the Cirque Du Freak, a touring sideshow filled with monstrous creatures from a snakeboy and a wolfman to a bearded lady (Salma Hayek) and a gigantic barker (Ken Watanabe). As Darren flexes his newfound powers in this dark world, he becomes a treasured pawn between the vampires and their deadlier counterparts. And while trying to survive, one boy will struggle to keep their brewing war from devouring what’s left of his humanity.

CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT opens nationwide on October 23.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY

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Scene-Stealers reader Aaron Hale was nice enough to send in his capsule review of “Let the Right One In” (#4 on my Top 10 Movies of 2008), so let’s we’ll start with his comments before I chime in and we see what you all have to say. Here’s Aaron:

This is the year of vampires, starting with HBO’s “True Blood” to the insanely popular “Twilight,” to and now Sweden’s “Let The Right One In.” I haven’t seen “Twilight,” but I hated “True Blood” enough after the first episode to know that the whole season would suck (pun intended). “Let The Right One In” is a different story.

Oskar (Kare Hedebrant) is a 12-year-old awkward kid who lives with his divorced mom in a snowy working-class suburb of Stockholm in 1980. The other kids at his school beat him up all the time and Oskar has fantasies of violent revenge. Then Eli (Lina Leandersson), a pale little-girl vampire who smells funny and only comes out at night, moves into the apartment next door, and she and Oskar hit it off. It’s good to have a bloodthirsty vampire on your side when the kids at school won’t leave you alone.

I really enjoyed this movie. It was cleverly written, beautifully shot, and perfectly cast and Hoyte van Hoytema’s cinematography is visually stunning. I even felt cold watching the movie. Director Tomas Alfredson nails Oskar’s innocence and morbid fantasies perfectly, while showing a sad, little boy who longs for understanding from anyone, and finds it in a violent, lonely vampire.

At first I found myself wanting Oskar to run from Eli, but I soon fell in love with both of the children and wanted Oskar to get his revenge. There are lots of gory scenes and side characters who add to the film’s realness, and lead up to the final scene, which has been described as “one of the best endings in the history of cinema.” See this movie. It’s my projected Oscar winner for Best Foreign Film of 2008.

Me again:

What struck me about “Let the Right One In” was its naturalism. Alfredson approaches this supernatural story as if there was nothing supernatural about it at all. Like the weather, it is cold and unforgiving. You can always see the breath of the inhabitants of this economically depressed suburb. Vast amounts of empty space take up the formalistic widescreen compositions and the camera virtually never moves.

Then there are the sounds: a heartbeat, sniffling, breathing—all these things bring the audience closer to the characters and help make our experience theirs. When things turn violent, the horrifying sounds cue us in to what’s happening even though the someone’s back is turned or the gore is happening offscreen. Beacuse we’ve ben paying so much attention to the sounds, their effect is amplified here.

Because Alfredson plays down the fantastical elements of the story, the moments when something unusual rears its head are amplified two-fold. When Eli appears on the jungle gym in the freezing cold without a coat on, that’s weird. A static shot of a multi-story hospital building with a small figure racing up its side is amplified by the fact that if you don’t start looking for it right away, you’ll catch it only out if the corner of your eye. That’s weird.

What’s not weird are the quiet moments Oskar has to himself.  He is picked on at school. He talks to himself in his room the way he wants to talk back to his tormentors. He has fantasies of using his knife to take care of the bullies. With divorced parents who seem to be only there enough as they need to be, Eli is the only person who sees Oskar for who he is. When certain discoveries are made, everything changes.

Being a vampire in this film is a practicality. It’s an ugly thing, devoid of romance and sex (especially because of the vampire’s more-than-implied androgyny) and all things that attract people to the the programs Aaron mentioned above. What unites Oskar and Eli is a whole lot deeper than that. It’s a sense that the other has found someone to take care of them.

Another interesting part of the film’s construction is that it relies very little on dialogue. If it were a silent film, I’d imagine it would still work. Or if I watched it without Swedish subtitles. Body language and looks between characters tell us all we need to know of the kids’ longing.

I hasten to even refer to “Let the Right One In” as a horror movie at all. It certainly deconstructs the genre, keeping far away from at least as many tenets as it embraces. Even if you don’t enjoy horror or fantasy movies, give this one a try and let us know what you think below!

Tags: film, flick, Let the Right One In, Let the Right One In review, movie, swedish, vampire