“Paranormal Activity” movie review

Find out why Eric’s actual theater-going experience ruined the movie for him here.

I try really hard to go into movies without prejudice. But with the advertising tactics being employed to push “Paranormal Activity,” I’ve found it very difficult to not be extremely skeptical.

Take a look at the posters. They’re going for an amateur/home-made/printed at Kinko’s look I find almost infuriating. Of course, the trailers that contain more scenes of people reacting to the movie than actual scenes from the movie is a pretty brilliant way to sell it. The midnight screenings in college towns and the whole “demand it in your area” campaign is also clever, if also slightly annoying.

I get it. They’re trying to capture that “Blair Witch” magic. But this Herculean task is difficult particularly because of the backlash “The Blair Witch Project” inspired. The movie that launched a thousand shaky-cams disappointed those who thought the footage might be real, or didn’t care about the characters, or were expecting more scares or gore.

But while Paramount has been careful to not explicitly state that the footage that comprises the movie is real, they’re being coy in a way that will leave many people to assume it is. Nowhere is this more clear than in the introductory text, which is something to the affect of “Paramount Studios would like to thank the families of Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat, and the San Diego Police Department.”

I don’t think the movie needs it, but I can appreciate that it ratchets up the suspense by narrowing down the places it can go. But its inevitable that some people are going to take that it at face value and assume its real. Make no mistake, this isn’t real. These are actors.

Fortunately, they’re good actors. I don’t know if any of the dialogue is improvised, but the way they talk to each other will feel very familiar to anyone who has ever been in a long term relationship that is facing a crisis. Both characters are charming and amiable in the same way that makes reality television appealing. Even when both have their stubborn moments, this movie never falls into the trap of making either character an illogical stereotype. They’re not movie star attractive, and actually look and talk like an average couple. This is a big part of a definite sense of realism that really grounds the proceedings.

Of course, realistic can be good, but also boring. Thankfully, the tight editing and smart pacing keeps that from happening. The plot is simple: A couple in a long term relationship have recently moved in together. As they start to notice strange noises and other unexplained phenomena, the girl reveals she’s been seemingly followed by those phenomena since she was a young girl. Confident that there’s a rational explanation, the boyfriend buys an expensive camera that can also record in the dark. He figures that after a few days of nothing strange captured on video they can both put it to rest.

Of course things don’t quite turn out that way, and a visit from a psychic leaves him more skeptical and her more afraid of what they’re dealing with. It seems the more attention they grant the phenomena and the more they fight over what to do, the more empowered and active it seems to become. What is it exactly that’s toying with them? And is there anything they can do? Are there lives in danger? These questions all make for an engaging and suspenseful movie, filled with some of the most affecting jump scare moments I’ve ever experienced.

There are also a lot of filmmaking lessons to be learned by how this movie builds its suspense and payoffs. First off, the movie’s assembled as if from found footage, and only things of interest pertaining to the haunting is shown. This makes for some skipping around in time and fast forwarding through long, static shots. As most of the strange things that happen occur at night while they’re asleep, the static camera angle it returns to is a cue to the audience that something bad is about to happen. This just ends up putting you on edge so that you’re still caught off guard once something does happen.

In addition, nearly all of the camera work is brilliantly executed. Sure, there’s some dreaded shaky-cam moments as one character or the other begin to play with the camera, but on my first viewing I didn’t notice any “cheats.” No moment stuck out that seemed unlikely it could have naturally occurred the way it did by incorporating the camera.

The special effects themselves also deserve credit for being fairly seamless and really selling the proceedings. In fact, nearly all aspects of this movie are stronger than expected. This really is the little scary movie that could, and I have no doubt it will find a huge audience that will appreciate it. Ultimately, “Paranormal Activity” is disturbingly good and good at disturbing.

Tags: activity, katie featherston, movie, paranormal, paranormal activity movie review, paranormal activity review, REAL, review, scenes

Today’s Top 10 comes from Cameron Hawk, who previously submitted the excellent list Top 10 Uses of Pop Songs in Movies. If you have a list you’d like to contribute, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Here’s Cameron:

Dating—what a weird, mammalian concept. A lot of movies deal with the peaks and pitfalls of the practice because it is something everyone can instantly relate with. Usually, the high and low points are so  heartwarming or so awkward that they stay with us our whole lives. This list compiles what I believe to be scenes that present the dating ritual unapologetically, in all its naturally imperfect glory.

10. The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

Steve Carell’s portrayal of the unexplainably celibate Andy is still my favorite performance of his. Andy’s personality is layered, complex, and at times strange, but never is it not apparent to us that he is a good soul. It might be harder for other characters to see, as they don’t have the direct access to his head that we do. This is what makes the film such a great study in humanity, and why people do the things they do or act the way they act. So obviously, in a film like this, the date scenes are going to be stellar. There are several memorable ones. However, the scene in which Andy finds out the hard way that he has never learned how to put on a condom has got to be the best of the bunch. After an amazing date with Trish (Catherine Keener), the two are feeling very comfortable with each other, and eventually the moment arrives. Right away, we can see in Andy’s eyes that this is the closest he has ever been to “the real thing”. He wants it to happen—it’s the right person, the right time, and she has plenty of protection. Unfortunately, Andy’s inability to properly apply a rubber soon leads to a large pile of unusable ones by the door, which are mistaken for already-used ones by Trish’s daughter Marla (Kat Dennings) when she and her boyfriend burst into the room. Right away, Marla assumes Andy is a sex fiend and that they have been having sex repeatedly throughout the evening. She couldn’t be more wrong, and these innocent misunderstandings make up the heart of the film, if not the heart of humanity itself.

Marla’s Boyfriend: Dude—teach me.

9. Elizabethtown (2005)

The many outspoken detractors of “Elizabethtown” will first wonder why this movie is getting any kind of recognition on any kind of list anywhere—you all can just sit off to the side for now, or maybe head over to the TV room and pop in “Elizabethtown” again. When you watch it this time, try not to expect another “Almost Famous.” For that matter, try not to expect anything. For those of you who liked the film, or at least those of you who can muster a conversation about it without bursting out into random fits of cursing and self-mutilation, I am here to argue something—the scene with Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom on the phone is one of the best first date scenes in film. Woah, back up—first date? How was that a first date, one may ask? They just talk on the phone for a long time, after all. Right? WRONG! These are the phone calls during which you really get to know a person. The fact that you are not there with them and cannot physically see them causes your other senses (and your imagination) to stand at attention. How does their voice sound? What does it sound like they are doing? It ends up being a window into these little details that we would normally take for granted. Drew (Bloom) and Claire (Dunst) talk for hours, and hours, with no signs of stopping, or wanting to stop. They even fall asleep while on the phone with each other. They are talking to each other the entire time they are driving to meet up, and even up until they are two feet apart. Now come on—we’ve all had phone calls like this. OK, so we don’t all drive and meet up with each other and get to see a southern sunrise, but remember, these are movies we are talking about here. Even still, after all the great conversation and the beautiful surroundings, Drew and Claire just part ways. When would have been the better time to seal the deal, if you don’t mind me asking?

Claire: Do you ever just think I’m fooling everybody?
Drew: You have no idea.

8. Little Children (2006)

This one is pretty disturbing, but I can’t go without mentioning it. Jackie Earle Haley plays Ronnie McGorvey, a convicted child molester who has recently been released from prison. Living with his mother, he is encouraged by her to meet people and go on dates. Instead, he spends most of his time scaring people out of the public pool, slithering around underwater with his goggles/snorkel combo. But Mon’s persuasions increase, and eventually Ronnie ends up going on a date with Sheila (Jane Adams). As the two begin to talk over dinner, some common ground is reached, and Sheila seems to think he is “nicer” than most of the guys she dates. Ronnie, too, seems to lighten up a little, even attempting to inject some humor into the conversation. Things continue to seem smoother and smoother on the drive home, and when Ronnie asks Sheila to pull the car over, one almost wants to entertain a notion that he is going to grab and kiss her, and the two will live happily ever after. But, Ronnie’s motives are more complicated than that—let’s just say he is less excited about her than he is about the kid’s playground off to his left. Man, there’s an awkward drive home.

Mom: There are four columns of lonely women in here, and only one of lonely men. The odds are on our side. Now why wouldn’t any of these women want to meet a nice person like you?
Ronnie McGorvey: I’m not a nice person.

7. The Cable Guy (1996)

For a movie that represents the early film careers of the likes of Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Owen Wilson, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, and a score of others, “The Cable Guy” is pretty underappreciated. It may be kind of an obvious satire, but it still works—Chip (Jim Carrey), raised in front of the television, has spent his life assuming several different identities and posing as a Cable Guy, offering free cable to win friends. When he meets Steven (Matthew Broderick), something snaps, and Chip is convinced the two should be buddies. This leads to one of the great date scenes in the movie, which is actually a man-date—when Chip takes Steven to Medieval Times. Topped off with early bit parts from Janeane Garofalo as a “serving wench” (“There was no silverware in Medieval Times, hence there is no silverware at Medieval Times; would you like a refill on that Pepsi?”) and Andy Dick as the head knight (“Dude, get on the friggin’ horse!”), the scene builds to a hilarious duel between the two characters, in which Steven unwittingly pulls most of his energies from his frustrations with Chip. It’s a great performance from Broderick, who is running in fear of his life one moment, and attacking Chip with brute force in the next. Of course, the two end up kind of bonding, even though Chip still makes Steven uncomfortable. Chip’s attempts to win Steven’s trust eventually lead him to a restaurant where Steven’s ex-girlfriend Robin (Leslie Mann) is on a date with a hilariously jock-y Owen Wilson. When Wilson excuses himself to use the bathroom, Chip is waiting for him, disguised as a bathroom attendant. Chip then proceeds to physically assault Wilson in what has to be the most brutally funny bathroom beating ever. I still laugh hysterically every time Chip forces Wilson’s mouth around the hand dryer spout and says “You know, you really remind me of Dizzy Gillespie!”

Robin’s Date (Owen Wilson): [signaling the waiter] Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, pardon me, hey what’s the story with our chicken, man? Have the eggs had a chance to hatch yet? Maybe you can go check on it for me, my friend, if it’s not too much trouble for you. [the waiter walks away] Okay, I’m sorry to put you out. [Turns to Robin] See the attitude?

6. Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Whether or not you like Tom Green or are moved by his humor, there’s a good chance you know about bits like “The Backwards Man” and “Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage?” But there is so much more to “Freddy Got Fingered.” Perhaps one of the most squeamish scenes in history, this date scene from Tom Green’s faux-art film is all at once brutal, hilarious, and completely original. As one of the two scenes that inspired this list, it really pushes the limits of not only where a movie can go, but where a date can go. Self-appointed loser Gordy (Green), in a previous scene, is found trying on one of his dad’s suits by his father, Jim (a hilarious Rip Torn). Gordy tells Jim he has received “a job at a computer company”, and that he also needs to borrow $50 so he can buy the necessary supplies—like, you know, “some pens, and that little thing that helps you draw a perfect circle.” Ecstatic, Jim tells Gordy to “take $100”, and later on takes his wife Julie (Julie Hagerty) out for dinner to celebrate. It isn’t long before Jim notices Gordy and his wheelchair-bound girlfriend Betty (the beautiful Marisa Coughlan) sitting at a nearby table, while Gordy is making a ruckus on a cordless phone he took from his father’s kitchen (“You’re fucking fired, Bob!”). The hilarity that ensues is beyond explanation, the kind that only Green could create for us. Later on, he canes her legs at her request. Green uses his movie to laugh at his audience (which explains why people hated it so much), and that’s pretty funny in itself. In the end, you’ll either love it to death, or want to kill yourself for watching it.

Jim: Wait a minute… You’re crippled.
Gord: Dad…
Betty: What?
Gord: Dad…
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It’s either that, or you’re just lazy.

5. Clerks (1994)

I had to cheat with this one a little bit, because the date itself never actually happens. But, I believe enough of it happened to put it on this list. Convenience store clerk Dante (Brian O’Halloran) finally meets up with ex-girlfriend Caitlin (Lisa Spoonhauer) after whining about her all day long, and she’s actually excited to see him. They talk about old times, and half-jokingly, Dante asks her out on one of his “famous dinner-and-a-movie dates”. Caitlin says yes, and the two get excited, like they seem to be getting those new-relationship-jitters for each other all over again. They agree to go home, get dolled up, and meet back at the convenience store. Caitlin returns before Dante, and decides to use the Quick Stop’s bathroom while she waits … seriously, has anyone not seen “Clerks”? SPOILER ALERT: She ends up screwing a dead guy that had died while masturbating in the bathroom earlier in the day (Dante gave him the porno mag!). By the time Dante returns, it’s too late—Caitlin is so traumatized she can’t even speak. But, wouldn’t it be more traumatizing to be cock-blocked by a dead guy? Poor Dante—he never did catch a break.

Dante: Call the police!
Caitlin: No, don’t!
Randal: Why?
Dante: Because there’s a stranger in our bathroom and he just raped Caitlin!
Randal: She said she did all the work.

4. Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

The other film that that inspired this list, “Punch-Drunk Love” is the under-appreciated gem of the PTA catalog. Not like he is cast against type here, but Adam Sandler’s performance presents a remarkable restraint that shows us he can actually act. This makes his character, the extremely passive-aggressive (and that’s putting it lightly) Barry Egan, completely unlike his various other one-note comedy vehicles, which no doubt confused the large portion of the film’s audience who were expecting to see gay and fart jokes. Paul Thomas Anderson wrote the part especially for Sandler, and at no moment is it easier to see why than the infamous bathroom scene. Struggling to become his own man in the presence of his nine overbearing (and that’s putting it lightly) older sisters, Barry spends most of his time running his business of bathroom appliances and uncovering errors in sweepstakes programs for potential financial gain. Years of being mercilessly berated by his sisters has led to much repressed anger, causing him to feel the need to lie about everything. One of his sisters fixes him up with Lena (Emily Watson), who is super cute, and Barry takes her to a nice restaurant one evening. For awhile, things go splendidly—there is eye contact, and Barry actually makes a joke! But the inevitable mention of Barry’s erratic behavior (in this case involving the throwing of a hammer through a boat) and his sisters’ childhood exploits of him prove too much for him to take, and he excuses himself to the bathroom. Upon entering, he proceeds to beat the living piss out of it—the trash can, both stall doors, and the soap dispenser (oddly, the object he has the most trouble destroying) all get taken down. It’s the oddest, funniest moment in a wonderful little movie full of odd and funny moments, but it only gets better once the Restaurant Manager realizes it is Barry who has smashed up the bathroom:

Restaurant Manager: Sir, the bathroom was just torn apart.
Barry Egan: Um, yeah.
Restaurant Manager: Did you do it?
Barry Egan: No.
Restaurant Manager: You didn’t just smash up the bathroom?
Barry Egan: No.
Restaurant Manager: Well, who did?
Barry Egan: I dunno.
Restaurant Manager: Sir, your hand is bleeding.
Barry Egan: I cut myself.
Restaurant Manager: How?
Barry Egan: On my knife. (Silence.) What?
Restaurant Manager: Sir, your hand is bleeding.
Barry Egan: I know.
Restaurant Manager: I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
Barry Egan: Yeah, but I didn’t do anything.
Restaurant Manager: Sir, I’ve got no way to prove that you smashed up the bathroom—
Barry Egan: I didn’t do that. I didn’t.
Restaurant Manager: Look, I’m gonna have to ask you to go.
Barry Egan: OK. I didn’t—
Restaurant Manager: I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
Barry Egan: Alright, please don’t do this to me.
Restaurant Manager: Sir, I’m gonna call the police.
Barry Egan: Alright. Can I just stay?
Restaurant Manager: Sir, I’m gonna crack your fuckin’ head open. Get outta here.

3. Say Anything (1989)

Cameron Crowe again! I’m telling you, the man knows relationships. I don’t just mean romantic ones, either; in fact, he is one of the best writers out there when it comes to pinpointing those subtle differences between friends, family, and lovers. Of course, we all know “Say Anything” is romantically oriented, but family relationships are a huge part of the film as well. Case in point—the scene where Lloyd (John Cusack) visits the home of his interest Diane (Ionne Skye) and her father James (John Mahoney) to have dinner with them and some of James’ friends and business associates. Some would argue that this is not technically a date, but I beg to differ—meeting parents is a huge part of the courting process, not to mention the fact that trying to impress them can be almost or just as complicated as trying to impress a love interest. It doesn’t seem to be a matter for Lloyd in this scene, however. He obviously wants the approval of Diane’s father, but his seemingly misplaced confidence becomes something more of an awkward assuredness as he begins to describe what he would like to do with his life. The answer he gives has become the quintessential response of all the other Lloyd Doblers and Ben Braddocks in the world, all those college grads out there who are constantly bombarded with this question. At some point in the scene, it becomes clear to us that Lloyd believes no one will ever be able to love Diane as much as he. Even with all the blank and disappointed stares coming from James and his guests, it comes across beautifully.

Lloyd Dobler: I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.

2. Sideways (2004)

Miles (an amazing Paul Giamatti) lives in the past, and his friend Jack (a likewise Thomas Haden Church) is constantly trying to yank him out of it, which is one of the many motives behind this little double-date scene in Alexander Payne’s classic. The memorable moments are almost too many to count—even the very first conversation outside the restaurant is priceless. What we get from there are peaks and valleys that go ever higher and ever deeper. Things seem to be going good for the two couples at first—Jack tries noticeably harder than Miles to keep the women engaged, but the fervent smiling and eye contact from beautiful Maya (Virginia Madsen) is not lost on Miles. Soon, however, Miles’ drunkenness gets the better of him, which leads him like a marionette to a pay phone in the back, and to one of the most painfully awkward drunk-dials in film. Seriously, any moment where you are blasted and calling your ex-wife is not a good one, and it makes Miles seem like even more of a hopeless case. But it also makes us feel for him, and in the end, his actions are those that require some balls. The date doesn’t end there, but it pretty much does for Miles—which is sad, because we know he wants to hit that.

Jack: Do not drink too much. Do you hear me? I don’t want you passing out or going to the dark side. No going to the dark side!
Miles: Okay!

Jack: If they want to drink Merlot, we’re drinking Merlot.
Miles: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Does it really surprise you that Cameron Crowe has three entries on this list? (Crowe wrote the screenplay, but Amy Heckerling directed.) “Fast Times” is basically a montage of classic date scenes and teen fantasies (I know Phoebe Cates is coming to mind for some of you, as she damn well should.). There is one date scene that stands out, however, and rings hilariously true in its innocent awkwardness. In the scene previous to the first date between nerdy Mark Ratner (Brian Backer) and hottie Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh), Ratner’s buddy Mike Damone (Robert Romanus) gives him a few pointers. “When it comes down to makin’ out,” Damone says, “put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.” The next thing we hear, as Ratner drives with Stacy in the passenger seat, is the intro to “Kashmir”. Not only does Rat put it on at the wrong time—he puts on the wrong album entirely! These details and many more help this spot-on examination of awkward first dates, wonderfully realized by Cameron Crowe in his first screenplay. Halfway through dinner, Rat notices he has forgotten his wallet and has no way to pay for the meal. He decides to call on his buddy Damone to bring it to the restaurant, which Damone is wary of doing at first. (Though Damone’s reluctance to help Rat in his time of need should be considered foreshadowing, Ratner should not have called him in the first place, as it turns out to be nothing more than an invitation to cock-block.) Of course, while Rat is waiting for his wallet, he has to stall the date a bit, which he does simply by ordering more food and drinks. Soon, the couple’s table is full of restaurant debris, and Stacy looks shocked when Rat orders two more Cokes—right as Damone shows up to save the day! After narrowly escaping that predicament, Rat gets a piece of good news—Stacy’s parents happen to be out of town (her parents never seem to be home, in fact). She invites Rat to come inside, but he is too nervous to fire her up. He makes some excuse and says he has to go, leaving Stacy looking confused and unfulfilled. Through Rat, Cameron Crowe has given us something very valuable—an amazingly accurate blueprint of what NOT to do on a first date.

Mike Damone: I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin’ film, and you never even talked to her. You don’t even own a camera.

Tags: bad, best, classic, couples, dates, film, movies, romantic, scenes, Top 10 Unorthodox Date Scenes, Top ten Unorthodox Date Scenes, Worst

Last night on “Late Show with David Letterman,” Sacha Baron Cohen responded to the host about his reality-based humor being difficult to pull off and dangerous to carry out in public by saying, “I won’t do it again.”

It doesn’t surprise me. What’s fascinating is finding out what amount of the shoot was planned, what was improvised, and what actually put the comedian in harm’s way. (Here is our on-camera review of “Brüno” with clips from the movie.) This press release from Universal is uncharacteristically candid about the making of “Brüno.” Sure, it’s got the normal publicist’s spin, but there’s plenty of interesting information here. It’s a look behind the scenes at this risky and fearless style of comedy. WARNING: SOME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE. (Kansas City residents, scroll down to “Finding Lutz” to see what was filmed here.) Here’s the highlights:

Following the global spotlight cast on Borat, the worldwide filmic journey of Austria’s most famous fashionista (and the host of Funkyzeit Mit Brüno) began with the filmmakers’ simple question of “Can we pull this off again?” Turns out it was possible…if they could keep their star and creative force both out of jail and alive until the end of the shoot.

If director Larry Charles and producers Sacha Baron Cohen, Dan Mazer, Jay Roach and Monica Levinson discovered nothing else from their time on Borat, they learned to live by one rule: “Know and obey the law, and always have an escape plan.” They were sure that if Baron Cohen got arrested or hurt, the production would have to shut down and they could be delayed for weeks. That maxim informed every aspect of the production, and they were able to stick to that plan.

Well, all but once.

While the majority of films have a strict daily schedule in which cast and crew know what is expected of them, the Brüno team didn’t enjoy that luxury. Each afternoon before a day of production, the group had to determine what they would lens the next day. They plotted their course, got on the scene and shot in rapid-fire succession. Then, it was off to the next locale to push the limits without breaking the law.

Believing it was crucial to top the extreme comedy they’d achieved with Borat, the team moved the needle much further on this production and had more serious police encounters than before. It didn’t stop there. The crew found themselves receiving calls from the FBI warning of death threats and dodging clenched fists, angry mobs and loaded guns at every step of the way.

Experience from Borat had taught that the entire cast and crew had to be on board (and working with the utmost confidentiality) to make sure that the guerilla filmmaking worked. From Baron Cohen’s getting hauled away by the Milanese police after filming a show-stopping appearance at designer Agatha Ruiz De La Prada’s event to his interrogation and strip search by the officers, there was never a dull moment on the globetrotting set.

Once initial scenarios (e.g., Brüno will be tossed out of a big fashion event, flirt with shocked subjects and interview celebrities on their humanitarian efforts) were agreed upon by Baron Cohen and his fellow writers, research began to find the best venues to visit and people to experience. The results captured on film would dictate next steps.

Over the course of 19 non-consecutive weeks during an entire year, the “well-oiled and completely disorganized machine” shot footage. By staying small, stealthy and relying upon the talents of a confidential pack of people, they were able to capture what’s never been seen before on film.

Traveling in five vehicles (three vans, one getaway minivan and one RV that doubled as a production room and changing room), the cast and crew made their way across America, Europe and the Middle East. Traversing Los Angeles, New York City and Washington, D.C., to Kansas, Texas, Alabama and Arkansas in America to London, Berlin, Paris and Milan in Europe and Jordan and Israel in the Middle East, they kept an exhausting schedule. Below is only a sampling of their outrageous stories.

Strip Search Me: Fashion’s High Price

When Baron Cohen and his fellow writers imagined setting up Brüno as a reporter at a European fashion week where he would meet his Waterloo, they explored the various events that he could attend in a time frame that would work for filming. Not wanting to hedge their bets on one location, the filmmakers went to New York City, Paris and Milan and secured credentials for multiple seasons of those cities’ respective fashion weeks.

The team made it to Milan Fashion Week in late September 2008. They had imagined a gag in which Baron Cohen as Brüno would, dressed in a suit made entirely out of Velcro, exit a car outside a fashion week arena and sneak his way onto the runway; director Charles and the camera crew would capture it all. Early attempts to get into other shows failed when security recognized and banned all the key players of the production. The officers called the police and threw Camp Brüno out while they accused them of stealing clothing.

Brüno had been blackballed from Milan Fashion Week. The Italian Chamber of Fashion issued a press release to designers and warned them of the possibility Baron Cohen would try to crash their events; the chamber further advised access be denied to Brüno’s production company. With an image out on television stations and across the Internet, Baron Cohen was a man on the run. For their part, the Milanese police declared he would be arrested on sight. Everyone was looking to take down the fabulous talk-show host with the acerbic wit.

While any future attempts appeared fruitless, the team was not accustomed to throwing in the towel. Their solution? Baron Cohen insisted that they change everyone’s appearance and create an entirely new crew. Director Charles shaved his beard and modified his hairstyle; likewise, producer Mazer cut his hair, as did other members of the Milanese camera crew. Everyone involved in the final stunt changed his or her outfits.

Complete with haute couture scarves and funky glasses, they became entirely new fashionistas to fit in with the others. This would be the team’s last chance to get the Velcro scene the writers had carefully constructed. Standing between them and the stunt? Extra police and tighter security were brought in to comb the area for Brüno.

Seizing an opportunity 30 minutes before designer Agatha Ruiz De La Prada’s fashion show began, the man who created Brüno knew what he had to do. The team secured him the proper credentials, and he walked in…not as the host of Funkyzeit Mit Brüno, but in the guise of an Italian photographer in a fabulous new outfit.

Accompanied by his hair and makeup artist and co-writer Hines, Baron Cohen found a hidden nook backstage and transformed into Brüno. He attempted to reduce his rapid breathing as, inches away, models and security walked by him in disguise. The performer knew that if he were discovered that the team’s last, best chance of locking this critical scene would be over. Shortly after the show began, he seized his chance. Bursting out of his hiding place and onto the backstage, Baron Cohen sprinted past stunned models and lunged by waiting security guards.

The producers were euphoric when Baron Cohen (as Brüno in a Velcro suit covered with clothing) fell onto the runway. The crowd went wild in outrage while the cameras rolled. Just as the team caught the footage they needed, security shut the lights off and dragged Baron Cohen off the stage. Police cuffed the actor and hauled him to jail while his fellow crewmembers chased him down. Though he claimed that he’d made an honest mistake—he’d simply put on a Velcro suit and walked in—Baron Cohen was strip searched and questioned by seven police officers.

Undaunted, the team moved on to their next adventure. It wasn’t days later when Baron Cohen threw out the question: “Can we go to Paris next week for Fashion Week?” The other producers’ weary response: “Fine…we’re going to Paris!” They shot for two days in October and landed prime seating at such coveted events as Stella McCartney’s line unveiling and Jean-Charles de Castelbajac’s show. Brüno was clad in another outrageous outfit at the latter and, of course, making comments as the cameras rolled.

That was not the last that self-professed style makers would see of Brüno.

Though the sequence wasn’t used in the final cut of the film, the production shot a scene at a Berlin nightclub where Brüno gave his farewell address to the fashion world. In the middle of an all-night rave, Brüno snuck into the deejay booth, killed the music and proceeded to deliver a 10-minute speech to the bewildered patrons.

According to the delusional fashionista, his audience was the recipient of “the most important speech since Martin Luther King, Jr.’s ‘I Have a Dream.’” Needless to say, the hyperkinetic ravers did not take well to their music getting cut and began taunting the strange man giving the unsolicited lecture. Bottles and cups full of beer began pouring down on Brüno. As the nightclub’s security muscled Baron Cohen from the club, the drunken ravers began lunging after the man who had interrupted their fun. During the melee, an assailant hit the performer in the neck while others tore at his clothing.

Brüno was officially out.

Finding Lutz

When the writers were crafting Brüno’s journey, they realized he needed a partner in crime as he traveled the globe. To cast the part of the fashion host’s second assistant, the initially meek (and hopelessly in love with his boss) Lutz, the production conducted an exhaustive search; casting sessions were done in the U.S., Germany, London and multiple other locales. Lutz would be the perfect “straight man” for Brüno, going along with his insane ideas such as swindling a baby from an African tribe and trying to become heterosexual. And he did it all in the name of love.

During auditions, producer Dan Mazer recalled an actor from one of his favorite films, a Swedish comedy from writer/director Lukas Moodysson called Tillsammans (Together). He had been moved by Gustaf Hammarsten’s performance and insisted the team bring in the actor to try out for the part. When he read for the role, they knew they found their Lutz.

Along with the film’s star, Hammarsten took many risks during the shooting of the film and was an unflappable player in the troupe. From being manacled to Baron Cohen in a hotel room in Kansas City to swapping blows in an Arkansas cage match, the actor was astonishing in his versatility and bravery. And just as Baron Cohen had, Hammarsten studied German in school and knew enough to engage in conversation with Brüno in this language.

Roof Jumps and Broken Heels: Fame is Painful

In Brüno’s quest to be über famous, he would find some curious interview subjects. None were more fascinating, however, than those who should be much more media savvy: celebrities. From Paula Abdul and La Toya Jackson to Brittny Gastineau and Ron Paul, Baron Cohen managed to have singers, reality stars and politicians say and do more on camera than you can even imagine.

One of the more astonishing social experiments was the use of “Mexican Chair People.” The team had staged an outrageous gag in which Brüno realizes he has no furniture upon which to seat his subjects. What to use as chairs and benches? Latino gardeners, of course. Naturally, they didn’t expect anyone to actually sit upon the men (all of whom are stuntmen and actors) without serious pressure being applied. It proved to be stunningly easy to get compliance from the talent. Every celebrity sat right down.

American Idol judge Paula Abdul and infamous Jackson sister La Toya Jackson agreed to be interviewed by Herr Brüno and sit on the help. Both were very game to rest on the backs of the supposed day laborers. Hard to comprehend? Director Charles helps piece it together; he believes it is human nature to want to have our egos fed and we’ll forgive “small” transgressions in the process.

From his work on such films as Borat and Religulous, Charles realized that, simply put, people just want to be interviewed. With on-air talent, they believe it is part of their job to promote their project, and neither they nor their publicity team need to be too fastidious about the details.

For regular people, the rule of “everybody wants a little piece of fame” applies. With many subjects, if you put a camera in front of and a lapel mike upon them, they’ll say whatever they’re thinking for the possibility of 15 minutes of attention.

While Abdul, Jackson and Gastineau were interviewed in Los Angeles, the production spent time in Washington, D.C., to get the thoughts of a certain politico. During the time period he was running for U.S. president, Ron Paul was interviewed for the film

It was an elaborate, risky set-up on the part of the Brüno team. They had to deal with U.S. Capitol police and Secret Service, not to mention the army of handlers working with Paul. As soon as the interview wrapped (and Paul stormed off the set), Baron Cohen was whisked out of the suite, into a fake police car, and onto a flight headed for New York City.

The arduous work of shooting Brüno finally took its toll. The performer was bedded by a case of the flu and wasn’t permitted to fly. Production had to shut down for two days. Though not fully recovered, he was propped up long enough to shoot the Mexican Chair bit, then flown to Kansas for integral scenes in which he was manacled to Gustaf Hammarsten as they made their way through a hotel and a mall.

During the hotel room scene in which Baron Cohen and Hammersten were chained together on the bed, word arrived that the police were in the lobby. As Kansas City’s finest rode up the elevator, both men made a mad dash down the emergency exit staircase. To their alarm, they discovered the staircase ended at the second story. They were trapped.

It was time to choose between facing the police (read: possible arrest and deportation for the Europeans) and a 15-foot leap to freedom. Both men took the plunge and fled into the escape vehicle.

Baron Cohen was officially down for the count. His antibiotics gave him thrush. The hair depilatory he was using gave him a strong reaction. After recovering from sinus infections, and forcing himself to recover, Brüno was back in action. Until his alter ego broke a heel while wearing platform boots during a Stunt in the Midwest and production had to shut down for another seven weeks.

Terrorists to Supremacists: Engaging Fundamentalists

While director Charles and the other producers learned to expect the unexpected when it came to the mind of Sacha Baron Cohen, one thing they were not prepared for was the actor’s intentions for Brüno to help negotiate peace in the Middle East.

The production’s general policy for interviews is that Baron Cohen allows subjects to keep going and give the most honest reaction they can to the scene he’s created with his fellow writers. With the suggestion that the company mingle with terrorists, however, the reaction among the normally brave key players was: “How the hell are we going to be do this and not get everyone killed?” They knew they couldn’t safely go to Jordan, Israel or the West Bank to set these up.

Well, at least that’s what they thought.

Before they embarked upon the plan, the team met with Middle East experts to learn what lines could never be crossed; they engaged the help of key Palestinian, Jordanian and Israeli advisors to understand these unwritten codes of conduct. Whether they followed them, however, was another story.

This region proved to be the most intimidating and life-threatening location in which the team would shoot. After slyly getting the former Jordanian prime minister to take part in a 90-minute interview at his home, Baron Cohen needed to meet with the country’s royal family to smooth things over. And if that—coupled with engaging members of Mossad and other fundamentalist politicians in the region—wasn’t enough, Baron Cohen as Brüno headed to an area of the West Bank (in Zone C) that is not under Israeli control. If anything went wrong, there would be no help from the Israeli army. The filmmakers were truly on their own.

Surprisingly, the head of the Bethlehem unit of terrorist group al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigade agreed to meet with this correspondent. The leader of a sect known for suicide bombings sat with Brüno while an aide translated curious, highly offensive statements from the interviewer. And while they spoke, they were surrounded by the terrorist’s bodyguards…who grew more and more agitated by the barbs.

Once Baron Cohen and Charles arrived at the secret location in the West Bank, they were informed that Palestinian intelligence knew they were there and were keeping an eye on their every movement. With no time to waste, the team got the footage they needed and quickly headed back into protected territory.

What peace process would be complete without getting feedback from the other side? One of the more rapid experiments for the production was Brüno’s sashay through a Hasidic neighborhood in Israel. Among this conservative community, men and women are forbidden from showing much skin (including legs and arms). In retaliation for his offenses, furious members of the crowd chased Baron Cohen after Brüno took a stroll in skin-tight short shorts and a Little Debbie-inspired bonnet.

They were out for blood. A large, angry crowd of Hasidic Jews began to gather, intent upon harming Baron Cohen for his actions. The performer was forced to hide in the store of a compassionate shopkeeper until a van could reach him and assist his getaway. Only then could he hunch down on the floor of the getaway vehicle and avoid the growing potential riot situation.

Back in the U.S., the production assumed it would be on safer ground. Wrong. They engaged with a domestic terrorist who was as dangerous as any they’d encountered overseas. While the scenes they shot didn’t make it into the final cut of Brüno, the team lensed at a prominent white supremacist’s house. The man who had spent a decade in prison for violent hate mongering did not take it very well when Brüno introduced him to his then-gay lover, Diesel. The supremacist cocked his fist and went to attack Baron Cohen, who was able to avoid his punch and make it safely out of the house.

Ruthless Stage Parents

Another area of interest to the team was the worldwide fascination with celebrities’ lives and the mixed messages performers give when showcasing their families to an eager public. The creative team realized that if Brüno tried to appear to be a selfless, doting father, he could (in his mind) vault his status in the celebrity community.

Naturally, he should adopt a child. And what could make him seem to be a more caring, famous parent than bringing an African baby from a tiny village into his unorthodox home? If Madonna and Angelina could do it, so could Brüno.

Much like a fashion accessory, Brüno would cart his adopted son (played by twin boys) everywhere he went…from casting sessions and impromptu weddings in California to talk shows in Texas. Of course, the boys’ parents and a social worker became part of the camp’s lean team and provided support for the twins at every step of the way.

Nowhere was he a bigger surprise, however, than at the Dallas-Fort Worth international airport. While director Charles shot the scene and fliers’ reactions, Brüno and his assistant pretended to pick up his newly arrived child from the baggage carousel. The jetsetter had just been on an African safari, and this child was his most precious and fantastic new souvenir.

However, Brüno was not the only one who wanted to be a superstar.

Few find the quest for fame as enticing as some parents of aspiring child actors. The filmmakers wanted Baron Cohen as Brüno to examine the players of that world, and he conducted multiple casting sessions with caregivers of “aspiring” child actors in Sherman Oaks, California, in February 2008. Interviewees were instructed that their children were being considered for an upcoming photo shoot with the host’s baby. For all involved in the production, it was stunning to listen to the bizarre and dangerous lengths to which some parents would go for their children to become a part of the public eye.

When it was Brüno’s time in front of the camera, Baron Cohen posed ever-more exaggerated questions to find out the extent to which these parents would allow their children to be in jeopardy. After the performer wrapped the final auditions, the team was so unnerved by the parents’ bizarre reactions to increasingly shocking scenarios that they made sure the eager parents didn’t follow through. Members of the team called and advised the eager stage moms and dads that they shouldn’t proceed as if their child got the part; he or she wouldn’t be a part of a photo shoot.

Locked and Loaded: Hunting Brüno

When he began production of Da Ali G Show several years ago, Sacha Baron Cohen believed he would have to use all his improvisational skills to lead people down a path and get them to react for the camera. Turns out he was quite wrong. Much goading or antagonism wasn’t necessary at all. He found that once interviewees had a lens in front of them and were prompted with uncomfortable scenarios, they reacted incredibly honestly. People don’t say or do things on camera that they don’t mean.

Likewise, director Charles and the producers were fascinated to realize the levels of anger that came when some subjects were confronted with Brüno’s homosexuality. A simple act such as a kiss between two men enraged certain people, and all their reactions were caught on camera. Sometimes, they were infuriated to the point that they wanted to physically harm Baron Cohen.

This was most definitely the case when traveling with four hunters in Alabama. The men agreed to take the foreign correspondent and his crew along with them as they went hunting, but they wouldn’t be giving up their guns at any point. The crew attempted to get the men to relinquish their weapons during filming, but that wasn’t as easy as it sounds. In fact, when things got heated, guns got drawn.

Once the hunters realized Brüno was gay and believed he was hitting on one of them, they readied their rifles. The production found itself in a standoff in the dark with armed men who were growing increasingly agitated by Baron Cohen’s pranks. The hunters were stewing by the time the team pulled up stakes, and their reactions were soon reaching a boiling point. During one discussion, one of the men actually pulled a weapon on a crewmember and pointed it at him.

It was time to get out of Dodge.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Breaching National Security

After Brüno decides he must become straight to find fame, he goes on a cross-country journey to eradicate any hint of his homosexuality. A logical stop to do such complicated work? The U.S. Army National Guard headquarters in Anniston, Alabama, about 65 miles from Birmingham. Unfortunately, this unit of the National Guard was unable to guard its own base from one canny British infiltrator.

The production lucked into the scenario when they asked a contact at the National Guard if the production could imbed on-air talent for the day. They explained that the purpose of the visit was to let their audience know what it was like to live and work as a candidate in officer training school. While there, Baron Cohen, dressed in the latest style of fatigues (read: Dolce & Gabbana), perplexed his fellow soldiers with his stunts.

It was not one of the finer days for national defense. When the production’s van came into the training ground, no one was asked for identification. Oddly enough, it turned out to be the perfect storm of confidentiality for the team, as the younger recruits were not allowed to speak freely unless they received the go-ahead by a commanding officer. If they had given permission earlier, the senior members would have known what several of the 20- to 22-year-old guys did: The man behind Borat was in their midst.

Once the crew heard the buzz that some of the young men suspected Baron Cohen was there, they packed up the team and got them out ASAP. As they were loading the performer into the van and driving rapidly off the base, the guards yelled out for them to stop and began to close the gate. Ten seconds too late, as Brüno (and the perfect amount of footage of his acting up during officer training school) were out the door. Had the team been moments later in their exit, the National Guard could have confiscated the tapes and they wouldn’t have seen the light of day.

When finally confronted with the question of “Did you know who that trainee was?,” the recruits responded with a firm: “Yes, sir! Sacha Baron Cohen, sir!”

Dangerous Cage Fights: Unmasking Homophobia

Aside from interviewing the terrorist leader in the Middle East, one of the most dangerous stunts during the production was the cage fight in which Brüno realizes the love of his life is in the ring with him. As they ensured during most scenes shot for the film, director Charles and the producers booked a back-up venue in case they didn’t get the right material on the first day of shooting. If needed, they could intercut with footage and salvage the bit. They knew that once word was out that the production was in town, it would spread like wildfire; they had to stay one step ahead of the public.

Nowhere did the filming get more dangerous, however, than when interviewees and other subjects of the film saw the relationship develop between Brüno and his traveling companion, Lutz.

In early June 2008, the production worked with a venue in Texarkana, Arkansas, to host a night of “Blue Collar Brawlin’” in which audiences would watch ultimate wrestling and get cheap beer. Brüno, transformed from hard months of life on the American roads learning how to be heterosexual, would battle it out with anyone who dared to challenge the macho man he’d become. This set-up would involve pushing the strict local and state morality standards to the edge.

It was vitally important for the production to avoid breaking any statutes or codes, and they always made certain they were on the right side of the law. As well, the team didn’t want to take chances with angry officers and made every effort to keep the police apprised and on their side. It didn’t hurt, however, to know they were close enough to two other states if they had to escape Texarkana.

The first night, the venue in Southwestern Arkansas would initially only supply police to serve as the arena’s security guards. But once the production told the officers that the audience might get unnerved when—during the course of the evening’s entertainment—two men kissed, the police reply was that they wouldn’t cover the event. They would, however, come back if any audience members called in a complaint and problems arose. And did they ever.

The cast and crew were now on their own.

As a producer, writer, creator and star of the comedy, Baron Cohen knew that it would be impossible for him to perform in character if he was concerned about his team’s safety. Moments after the first embrace between the two men, chairs were pulled up and tossed, a fighter who had been watching from the audience climbed into the cage and challenged Baron Cohen to a fight. Director Charles got none of the footage he needed, but Baron Cohen and the crew escaped just in time. The police did not return to the scene.

Overnight, they moved the entire operation several hours to the north to Fort Smith, Arkansas. Once there, the Brüno team was contacted by the Fort Smith police about what happened in Texarkana; these officers were reluctant to cover the event. As police were the only security certified to man the convention center, the production thought they were out of luck. Fortunately, the producers met with the chief of police and several other officers to secure the clearance needed. They left the meeting armed with a list of city ordinances that were stricter than the Arkansas state rules.

Lessons learned, for the Fort Smith event, the team made sure there were no glass bottles that could be used as projectiles, and they wired chairs together so fans couldn’t pick them up and lob them into the ring.

Seconds after the kiss, attendees became furious. Soon after, one member of the crowd unwired a chair and threw it at Baron Cohen’s head. At that point, it was a near riot and the performers were rushed from the premises. Audience members and other fighters alike were screaming epithets and surrounding the bus and the field team. It ended after a stand off that lasted many hours, with 40 police officers from the Fort Smith division helping to rescue the cast and crew and quell the angry mob.

Tags: behind, Bruno, did, film, filming, how, it, last, making, movie, of, REAL, scenes, STORY, the, they

This list comes to us from Sean O’Connell, a New York City-based writer who also contributed a Top 10 Movie Brothers list some time back. If you have a Top 10 you’d like to contribute, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Here’s Sean:

Since we are in the thick of the summer movie season you would think that gorgeous summer weather would follow. That is not the case here in New York City. Our summer has been held hostage by constant rain. It has rained 21 out of 25 days here in the month of June alone. The sun has been gone for so long now that the Cullen family from “Twilight” could have taken a summer vacation here with no worries. That is how bad it is. So while I have been trapped inside, it got me thinking of great rain scenes from movies. Here is my top ten rain scenes of all time. Hope you enjoy it and I hope it stops raining here.

10. The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

This may not be the greatest movie ever made, but the NYC rain scenes have been pretty dead-on as of late. I am constantly looking over my shoulder as I walk up 7th Avenue for a giant wall of water to come crashing down on me. As far as the movie goes, this was the one scene that was the most enjoyable. The rude New Yorkers meet their demise and the smart school kids live. The special effects were great and who doesn’t want to see an oil tanker float up 5th Avenue? Once the rain stops, so does the movie unfortunately. It gets caught up in some environmental message while the new Ice Age ascends rapidly (didn’t the first one take over a century to happen, not a day?), Jake Gyllenhaal tries to remind us why we need to pay attention in science class, and Dennis Quaid walks from Washington D.C. on snow shoes that look like tennis rackets to find his son he has lost touch with.

9. Return of the Living Dead (1985)

In this Dan O’Bannon classic, rain plays a prominent role not once but twice. After two bumbling warehouse workers (portrayed by James Karen and Thom Mathews) accidentally set free a poisonous gas from a secret lost army canister, all hell breaks loose. This gas, when released, causes the dead to rise. So when a dead medical cadaver and the half dogs for veterinary school come to life, they are forced to burn them in an incinerator. This just causes all the poisonous gas to be released into the atmosphere, which causes an awesome acid rain storm. The result is that all the bodies in the neighboring cemetery come to life and now need to eat brains to make the pain go away. In the end, our heroes contact the army only to get blown up by a nuclear missile. This again causes the gas to go into the atmosphere and now the rainstorms are happening all over the country. So any rain that can bring about zombies has to make the list.

8. Back to the Future Part II (1989)

This rain scene doesn’t happen until the end but has one of the greatest time travel twists ever. Marty and Doc (Michael J. Fox & Christopher Lloyd) have once again successfully completed their mission, avoided destroying the space-time continuum and were getting ready to leave 1955 for 1985. Just then, the famous Hill Valley rainstorm (the one that destroyed the clock tower) spreads to Hilldale. Doc is already in the Delorean and Marty is on the ground down below. Lightning strikes the Delorean and it seems that Doc has been incinerated. Then a torrential down pour happens, and a strange man in an overcoat appears. Turns out he is from Western Union and was told by Doc (who is now in the Old West) to be there at that precise moment to deliver a letter that tells Marty how to get home. I always wondered: If the letter is about 70 years old, why didn’t the rain destroy it right there? Anyway, watching Marty scream, “The Doc is Alive, he is in the Old West, but he’s alive!” in the pouring rain still makes me smile.

7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

OK, any movie where the audience re-enacts the rain scene in the theater by shooting water guns in the air and holding newspapers over their heads to shield them from drops of water has to be on the list. The rainstorm in the movie causes couple Brad and Janet (Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon) to get a flat tire. Their search for a phone and escape from the downpour leads them to the Frank-N-Furter Castle, home of transvestite Tim Curry. Since the rain got Brad and Janet’s clothes soaked they are forced to spend a bulk of the movie in their underwear.

6. Spider-Man (2002)

I really deliberated on this one for a long time, mainly because I always got mad that this was the one scene from this great movie that gets shown most of the time. I am, of course, talking about the famous upside-down kiss, but since it became an iconic part of the movie, I felt forced to put it on the list. We all know what happens: Thugs are attacking Mary Jane, Spidey saves the day, and gets a kiss for his reward. This all happens as Mother Nature is unleashing a heavy rainstorm. The one good thing that came from this scene was Kristen Dunst’s wet T-shirt look that kept every teenage boy happy that summer.

5. Unforgiven (1992)

Rain is prominent throughout Clint Eastwood’s Academy Award-winning Western. It is raining in the opening scene where Little Bill (Gene Hackman) tries to settle a dispute between the owner of the whorehouse saloon and the two cowboys responsible for the attack on a prostitute. It is raining while Little Bill is trying to build his house–he is not a very good carpenter because the roof is constantly leaking. The most important rain scene, however, is saved for last. The rain clouds come rolling in just as William Munny (Eastwood) finds out (SPOLIER ALERT!) his best friend Ned (Morgan Freeman) was killed by Little Bill. Munny, a recovering alcoholic, is now about to become the monster he once was–the man who killed women, children and everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. The transformation is complete as he rides into town in the rain and you see the empty bottle of whiskey thrown into a puddle. Munny enters the saloon and takes care of business in a great shoot-out, then rides out of town in the rain.

4. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

The battle for Helm’s Deep during the second of Peter Jackson’s movie adaptation of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy was the best combat scene from the entire thing. The whole amazing war happened while sheets of rain fell from the sky. You would think a fight scene would be hard to follow during a rain sequence, but not here. Everything is well choreographed and the action is top-notch.

3. Forrest Gump (1994)

Everyone always remembers that “life is like a box of chocolates,” but I bet you everyone also left the theater after seeing this remembering the different types of rainstorms there are. When Forrest (Tom Hanks) is fighting in Vietnam, he narrates, “One day it started raining, and it didn’t quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin’ rain … and big ol’ fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. And then one day it just stopped.” That is what we are going through here in NYC. I hope it stops suddenly just like it did in the movie.

2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

This rain scene is one of my all time favorite movie scenes. Who can forget Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) raising his outstretched arms triumphantly in the air after escaping from Shawshank Prison through a sewage tunnel? The rain beats down on his face as he smiles for the first time in a long time as a free man. The image of a free Andy will always stay burned in my brain and every time I watch this scene it still sends chills up my spine. Nothing beats Red’s (Morgan Freeman) narration as the scene is unfolding: “Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want to. Five hundred yards … that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.” This arguably would be the greatest rain scene in movie history if it were not for number one.

1. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Come on, you saw this coming. It even has the word rain in the title. Who can forget Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) incredible dance number in the rain? Don just says goodnight to Kathy Seldon (Debbie Reynolds) after a great evening. He is so happy at the turn of events that he feels he must sing about it while it is raining. He swings on lampposts, jumps in puddles, and twirls an umbrella the whole time. He never seems to mind that he is soaking wet. Some trivia tidbits about the scene, Kelly had a 103-degree fever the day of filming the scene. Co-director Stanley Donen (Kelly was the other co-director) wanted to send him home, but Kelly refused. So massive preparations were taken so that it could be filmed in one take, and it was. The most famous rain scene in movie history was done in just one take and Kelly also improvised most of his dance moves. Also, the rain consisted of a mixture of milk and water so it would show up better on film. This mixture caused Gene Kelly’s wool suit to shrink. In 1971, Stanley Kubrick paid twisted homage to this musical rain sequence in the immortal “A Clockwork Orange.”

Tags: 10, baptism, best, film, list, moments, movie, rain, scenes, symbolism, ten, top, Top 10 Movie Rain Scenes

This week’s user-submitted Top 10 comes from Andrew Willis, who says that Scene-Stealers was partially responsible for his creating movierabble.com and having regular Top 5 lists. That, and a healthy dose of “High Fidelity,” no doubt. If you’ve got an idea for a Top 10 list you’d like to contribute, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Here’s Andrew:

It is evident that the holiday season is upon us. The stockings are hung, the eggnog is flowing, and Vince Vaughn is in a terrible Christmas movie. My favorite part of the season happens once all the wrapping paper has been thrown away. Of course I’m talking about the New Year’s Eve celebration. In my opinion, Hollywood hasn’t paid tribute to New Year’s like they should have. This is strange to me because what is the best part of New Year’s? The parties! And Hollywood has made some great party movies, or some movies with great party scenes. So here is my Top 10 Movie Party Scenes.

10. Menace II Society (1993)

The movie itself is filled with drugs, gang violence, racism, and features plenty of criminal themes. The party scene in the beginning grounds the characters in reality and show these “hard” gangsters’ human side. Allen and Albert Hughes’ “Menace II Society” documents that mid 90’s L.A. gangsta scene even better than “Boyz in the Hood” in my opinion, and the opening party shows just how these young urban boys could be attracted to that particular lifestyle.

9. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

You all know which scene I’m talking about; it’s the rave scene in Zion. (Ed. Note: Ironically, this scene was on Eric’s list of Top 10 “jump the shark” moments in movie franchises.) The underworld is preparing for a battle that could wipe out their existence, and the Wachowski brothers (Two entries, two director-brother combos. Weird.) put you right in the middle of a music-fueled mosh of energy. The bodies hypnotically move up and down like waves in a pool. It reminds me of the USO dances held for the WWII soldiers who came home on leave. Just replace Glenn Miller and “In the Mood” with Rob Zombie and “Reload.”

8. Swingers (1996)

The only party on this list that is more crowded than “The Matrix Reloaded” and still the “Swingers” boys (including Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn) leave because “this place is dead anyway.” There’s a lot of partying in Doug Liman’s “Swingers” (which was written by “Iron Man” director and co-star Favreau), but I am referring to the party held by some producer in the Hollywood Hills. They all arrive in their own car, and nobody knows anyone there. This scene has some of the most brutal rejections in it. Do you remember the line, “What kind of car do you drive?”

7. American Pie (1999)

Egads! Another brothers movie! This one was directed by Paul and Chris Weitz (”About a Boy,” “The Golden Compass”), and it is the first “My parents are gone for the weekend” party on the list. We have all been there and this particular one most resembled my experience– that is, minus the protein-enhanced cup of beer. The opening party is spot on: the beer, the girls, the raging hormones. It captures perfectly the awkwardness of trying to talk to girls (especially ones out of your league) and trying to score for the first time. The only thing it is missing is the wake up/clean up that happens the next day.

6. Say Anything (1989)

I will make almost any excuse to put a John Cusack movie on a list, but the graduation party in Cameron Crowe’s directorial debut has the perfect vibe. Those parties are one of the few times in a person’s life where you and all your classmates forget about the cliques and class systems of high school and everybody can just chill– even the “brain”s. You could consider this the first date of under-the-radar outsider Lloyd Dobler (Cusack) and smart-girl Diane Court (Ione Skye). Even thought Diane and Lloyd don’t spend much time together, you can see the relationship blossom at this party. It is the anti-”American Pie” party. I want to be Lloyd Dobler. I want to be the Key Master.

5. Midnight Cowboy (1969)

I wanted to make sure the drug-propelled, orgiastic, psychedelic 60’s scene was represented on this list, so here you go. It was never done any better than it was done here in John Schlesinger’s Best Picture winner. (The only winner ever to be rated “X”, even though it was later downgraded to “R.”) Naive cowboy swinger Joe Buck (Jon Voight) is totally lost in New York. He is a fish out of water and his first N.Y. party submerged him into a lifestyle that street urchin Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman) was used to. Even I felt a little spacey after watching this one.

4. The Thin Man (1934)

This 1934 classic has more ABPF (Alcoholic Beverage Per Frame) than any other movie I have ever seen. Nick and Nora Charles (William Powell and Myrna Loy) are hilarious and unapologetic drunks, retired private detectives, and they know how to host one hell of a party. This one in particular is a holiday party, no less, and martinis are the drink of choice. Their mannerisms are so natural, it’s like watching a slapstick clinic. And even though he didn’t direct the film, the dialogue has that Howard Hawks-like rapid-fire vernacular.

3. Weird Science (1985)

Anthony Michael Hall, where have you gone? (Ed. note: He’s the newscaster/interviewer in “The Dark Knight”!) Here’s another “My parents are gone for the weekend” movie. Kelly LeBrock ushered me into manhood in this movie (I know I’m not alone), and during my parties while my parents were gone for the weekend, I always kind of expected her to walk in the front door. Gary (Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) think that she is using her magic to make them popular, when in actuality they are just no longer afraid of being themselves. This is also one of the few movies that deal with the day after  pick-up, even if it is in a magical “Cat in the Hat” kind of way.

2. City of God (2002)

The music, the atmosphere, the dancing, the women: everything a party should be. It doesn’t end very well, but that doesn’t take anything away from the great time that was being had by all in this violent neighborhood in Rio de Janiero. The street party in  Fernando Merielles’ “Cidade de Deus” (original language title) is the moment where we get to see these children who have been shown nothing but violence and hatred their entire lives become men. They are able to reflect back and look to the future. It is one of only a handful of scenes in the entire film that offer a glimpse of promise.

1. Animal House (1978)

No big surprise here. I don’t have any particular scene in mind. The entire movie is one big party. It is iconic. John Landis directed this frat house classic that made John Belushi a star. I suppose if I had to name one scene it would be the Toga, Toga, Toga party. Otis Day and the Knights singing “Shout” (a band that barely missed making Eric’s Top 10 Fictional Bands list) has made it impossible for me not to hear that song and think of this movie and all its decedant splendor. Bluto (Belushi) is the personification of all things hedonistic, and has been a role model for college students ever since.

Tags: 10, beer, booze, drinking, liquor, movie, new year party, new year's party, new years, parties, party, scenes, ten, top, Top 10 Movie Party Scenes

Top Ten Tuesday is here and so is the holiday season. But, as usual, we’ve got something a bit different for you. Christmas is such an emotional time of the year that it serves filmmakers well. Whether you’re celebrating the joy of Christmas or wallowing in self-pity at a holiday spent alone, there is so much already wrapped up (no pun intended) in this time of the year that it can echo the most excitement or the bluest melancholy in the wink of an eye. None of these films are considered Christmas movies, but each one of them features an important moment in the life of a character during that holiest of holidays. So grab some egg nog and enjoy this list of fantastic Christmas scenes! (Next week get ready for some more non-traditional Christmas fun.)

10. The Matador (2005)

Julian Noble (Pierce Brosnan) is a hitman having a hilariously petty midlife crisis. When he shows up at the house of businessman Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear) during Christmas to beg for his help, it is obvious Danny will take some convincing, so the slimy smooth-operator charms Danny’s wife with his inappropriate wit, and dances with her by the Christmas tree. This dark comedy has a lot to explain about Mexico City and what went on earlier that summer between the two, but one unexpected theme does come to light—welcoming an unwanted and desperate visitor into your home, even a sad little person like Brosnan’s mustachioed has-been. Writer/director Richard Shepard finds humor and pathos in the most peculiar places, and this is one peculiar movie worth checking out. Christmas time is the perfect setting to garner a little sympathy, even for a bastard like Julian.

Danny Wright: [discussing possible escape routes] That door over there, if it weren’t locked.
Julian Noble: A Vietnamese girl I once knew had her legs so locked together I couldn’t get a whiff of her spring roll. Two drinks, half a Quaalude later, I was at an all you can eat buffet. Every lock can be broken. It’s just a matter of will and whether it’s worth it.

9. Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Two key moments in Steven Spielberg’s breezy movie about young con artist Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) who is pursued by determined FBI agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) take place on Christmas. The first happens when Frank calls Carl to apologize for fooling the lawman after a particularly close call. At first, Carl is annoyed. Realizing that its Christmas, however, the agent realizes Frank may be “living the life,” but a fugitive like him has no one to talk to on Christmas Day. The second Christmas moment comes late in the film, when the two meet again at a print shop in France, but this time Carl has the upper hand and fools Frank into coming outside by telling him that the police have the place surrounded when they haven’t even shown up yet. The film feels a little long, but the moments that work make for some spectacular entertainment.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Carl? Carl! Merry Christmas! How is it we’re always talking on Christmas, Carl? Every Christmas, I’m talking to you! [laughs]
Carl Hanratty: Put your shirt on, Frank. You’re under arrest.

8. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983)

When you die and go to Heaven, maybe it will be Christmas every day—where women wearing plastic breasts and dressed in sexy Santa outfits dance behind a gleaming-toothed lounge singer at an uber-cheesy Las Vegas-style show. The British comedy troupe’s last film together won the Grand Jury Prize at the 1983 Cannes International Film Festival, and the disturbingly funny song “Christmas in Heaven,” sung by Graham Chapman, is typical of the no-holds-barred kind of surrealist humor that the rest of the film exhibits. All the characters from earlier in the movie are seated in Heaven, watching in wonderment and awe at the monumental shininess of it all. Underscoring the uncomfortable feeling, Chapman’s lips and extravagantly white smile don’t quite seem to match up with the singing. If this is Heaven, I’d hate to see what Hell looks like. To hear the song, click here. 
To watch the scene, just click below and fast-forward to 1:50.

YouTube Direct Start video at 1:50 It’s Christmas in Heaven/ All the children sing/ It’s Christmas in Heaven/ Hark hark those church bells ring./ It’s Christmas in Heaven/ The snow falls from the sky/ But it’s nice and warm and everyone looks smart and wears a tie./ It’s Christmas in Heaven/ There’s great films on TV/ ‘The Sound of Music’ twice an hour/ And ‘Jaws’ I, II, and III.

7. Far From Heaven (2002)

Christmas parties have been known to bring out the best and worst in people. Giving a modern spin to the Douglas Sirk Technicolor weepies of the 1950s, this meticulous Todd Haynes film tackles homosexuality and racism more directly than the melodramas of that era were allowed. At a Christmas party, the first cracks in their flawless veneer start to show when Frank, the perfect husband (Dennis Quaid), is inebriated and belligerent while Cathy, the perfect housewife (Julianne Moore), is chastised by her neighbors for getting too friendly with her black gardener (Dennis Haysbert). On the outside, Mr. and Mrs. Magnatech (named after breadwinner Frank’s TV company) may be the model of affluent suburbia, but societal tragedy lurks just beneath the surface. Frank, it turns out, is a closeted homosexual, and after the party he drunkenly tries to make out with his wife. When he can’t do it, he repeatedly yells out in frustration, “Jesus!” Merry Christmas, indeed.

Stan Fine: [complimenting Cathy] Frank is the luckiest guy in town!
Frank Whitaker: It’s all smoke and mirrors, fellas. That’s all it is. You should see her without her face on.
Doreen: Frank!
Cathy Whitaker: No, he’s absolutely right. We ladies are never what we appear, and every girl has her secrets.

6. Goodfellas (1990) “Frosty the Snowman” by the Ronettes plays over a Christmas party celebrating the pre-dawn robbery at the Lufthansa cargo terminal at Idlewild (now JFK) Airport by Jimmy Conway (Robert DeNiro) and his group of wiseguys. But when the gangsters’ wives start showing up in mink coats and driving hot pink convertibles, they become obvious targets for the police, and he flies off the handle. It’s supposed to be a celebration, but already the walls are crumbling in Martin Scorsese’s 1990 gangster epic. “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love plays at the house of Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), where his wife gets a wad of bills for Christmas, and his family enjoys a huge white artificial tree. The good cheer is short-lived. By 1980, it would be replaced by backstabbing and paranoia, as all of the divergent paths of Hill’s complicated Mafia career collide. Scorsese uses the season as foreshadowing in this scene, one of about a hundred virtuoso moments in a film that has found a huge and appreciative audience on home video.

Jimmy: Don’t buy anything. Don’t get anything. Nothing big. Didn’t you hear what I said? You’re going to get us all f–kin’ pinched, that’s why. What are you, stupid?

5. Citizen Kane (1941)

It is a small scene to be sure, but perhaps the most important one in unlocking the famous “Rosebud” mystery of Orson Welles’ masterpiece and one of the greatest films ever made. Sitting in front of the Christmas tree, 8 year-old Charles Foster Kane is given a sled by his new legal guardian, a bank manager in Chicago named Walter Parks Thatcher. The new sled is meant to replace the one he had in Colorado, back with his family. He offers a curt “Merry Christmas” back to Thatcher, and it is clear that this shiny new sled will never take the place of his cherished old one. It may be emblazoned with a medieval knight’s helmet and called the Crusader, but the new gift represents a kind of innocence lost for a young boy whose childhood was robbed. Welles’ movie is overflowing with a complicated, time-shifting narrative and other pioneering techniques that are still used today. If you’ve never seen it or haven’t seen it in a while, Christmas break is a great time to catch up with a classic.

Mr. Thatcher: Why, we’re going to have some fine times together, really we are, Charles. Now, shall we shake hands? [Charles pulls back] Oh, come, come, come, I’m not as frightening as all that, am I? Now, what do you say? Let’s shake.

4. American Psycho (2000)

If Mary Harron’s gruesomely funny movie is a searing indictment of 1980s greed and materialism, then guess what holiday is best suited to one of the funniest scenes in the film? If you said Christmas, then you’ve seen this classic moment (or perhaps the rest of this list.). Wearing furry antlers and sporting a Grinch-like frown, murderous yuppie Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) is bored by all the festivities. He is all business as he scurries away from his cheery girlfriend Evelyn (Reese Witherspoon) and her Vietnamese pot-bellied pig to talk turkey with a rival. He is the anti-Christ(mas). The scene opens with Bale uttering the hollowest and flat holiday greeting ever: “Hey Hamilton, have a holly jolly Christmas. Is Allen still handling the Fisher account?” Actually, reading it really doesn’t do the scene justice. Why not watch it now?

Evelyn: Stop scowling Patrick, you’re such a Grinch. What does Mr. Grinch want for Christmas? And don’t say breast implants again.

YouTube Direct Patrick Bateman loves Christmas

3. The Apartment (1960)

In writer/director/producer Billy Wilder’s sophisticated and nuanced romantic comedy/drama, lonely salaryman Bud Baxter (Jack Lemmon) and cute elevator girl Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine) share some time at an office party on Christmas Eve. Each of them thinks they are getting what they want for Christmas—him, a nice raise and some new respect; and her, a husband. But when Bud’s co-workers complain about how he got the promotion (letting his boss use his apartment for secret trysts with Miss Kubelik) and Fran finds out she is but one of many of the philandering Mr. Mandrake’s affairs, it turns into a bittersweet night. Bud ends up drinking alone at a bar, and Fran does something quite drastic. Wilder’s coup d’état came when he captured Best Picture, Director, and Screenplay wins for “The Apartment” at the Oscars in 1961, and deservedly so. It looks today as it did then—like a modern classic. Just look at this sparkling dialogue:

Bud: Well, as a matter of fact, I was rather hurt that night you stood me up.
Fran: I don’t blame you, it was unforgivable.
Bud: I forgive you.
Fran: Well, you shouldn’t.
Bud: You couldn’t help yourself. I mean, when you’re having a drink with one man, you can’t suddenly walk out on him because you’re having another date with another man. You did the only decent thing.
Fran: I wouldn’t be too sure. Just because I wear a uniform, that doesn’t make me a Girl Scout.
Bud: Miss Kubelik, one doesn’t get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he’s a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re tops, I mean, decency-wise, and otherwise-wise.

2. L.A. Confidential (1997)

Curtis Hanson’s masterful (and Oscar-winning) adaptation of a gripping, hard-boiled crime novel by James Ellroy opens with a fictionalized version of a true-life incident, one of the many blights on the Los Angeles Police Department in the 1950s. Up to fifty members of the force severely beat seven Latino men while they were in custody on Christmas Day 1951. “Bloody Christmas” was what the papers called the controversy, and in the movie, Guy Pearce’s by-the-rules detective Ed Exley is hated immediately by every cop in the building for testifying against the officers involved. It is a brutal opening to one of the best films of the last 25 years; a film that gets it all right—the decay and rot that ran rampant beneath the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. Hanson also deserves credit for breaking Pearce and Russell Crowe through to American audiences, and for using Dean Martin’s saucy rendition of “The Christmas Blues.”

Capt. Dudley Smith: I wouldn’t trade places with Edmund Exley right now for all the whisky in Ireland.

1. Smoke (1995)

Auggie Wren’s Christmas Story, a short story by Paul Auster that appeared in the New York Times on Christmas Day in 1990, led to this film collaboration with director Wayne Wang. Several stories are linked together by the colorful characters who shop at a Brooklyn cigar shop run by the ever-optimistic Auggie (Harvey Keitel). A frustrated writer (William Hurt), a doppelganger for Auster himself, learns to take the time to look at life differently after coincidences open him up to life-changing events. At one point in the film, Keitel sits Hurt down to tell him Auster’s Christmas story that appeared in the Times. It is the centerpiece of the movie and is a simple tale full of stealing, loneliness, and unexpected warmth. To read Keitel’s monologue from the film, click here. To hear Auster himself read the story and the circumstances surrounding it, click here. Listen now. Trust me, it’s worth it.…and have a Merry Christmas!

Auggie Wren: If you can’t share your secrets with your friends then what kind of friend are you?
Paul Benjamin: Exactly… life just wouldn’t be worth living.

Tags: 10, characters, christmas, films, moments, movie, movies, non-christmas, scenes, ten, top, Top 10 Defining Christmas Moments

For a moment, let’s forget the fact that Thanksgiving is a hypocritical holiday that celebrates a symbolic peace-loving dinner between two cultures that didn’t really work out too good in the long run. That would make a great Top 10 List on its own: Top 10 Movies That Show How Badly the Indians Got Screwed by the White Man. Check back for that one next year. No, this list celebrates that one moment of the year when families try to get together and get…along. This list celebrates the more modern meaning of Thanksgiving, and most of the films on the list celebrate that odd little American unit known as the family. So if you’re looking for something to turn that grumbling in your stomach into a big slice of forgiveness pie, read on and enjoy this list of my Top 10 Thanksgiving Movies. We’ll be back next Top 10 Tuesday with an all-new non-holiday themed list.

10. The House of Yes (1997)

On Thanksgiving in 1983, a disturbed young woman who thinks she’s Jacqueline Onassis refuses to give her beloved brother up to the new girlfriend that he brought home to meet the family. We’re right there with her, and not just because said girlfriend is Tori Spelling. At the Sundance Film Festival, Parker Posey cemented her place as coolest indie chick ever by winning a Special Recognition award for her deranged performance as pill-box hatted Jackie-O. (Unfortunately, it also led to her being typecast in a dozen more quirky, bitchy roles. Aaah, but she does it so well!) This isn’t the best movie ever, but Posey is hilarious and it’s notable also (and really weird) because writer/director Mark Waters went on to do the family-friendly “Freaky Friday” remake and “Mean Girls,” which comprise 2/3 of Lindsay Lohan’s watchable filmography. (Can you name the other third?)

Mrs. Pascal: What’s that gun doing there?
Jackie-O: It’s not a gun. It’s a camera.
Mrs. Pascal: It’s a gun.
Jackie-O: It’s a camera that looks like a gun.
Marty: Relax, Mama, it isn’t loaded.
Mrs. Pascal: How do you know?
Marty: I checked.
Mrs. Pascal: What’s it doing there?
Jackie-O: Being gunlike, gunesque, gunonic.
Mrs. Pascal: Where did it come from?
Jackie-O: God?

9. Tadpole (2002)

A 15-year old Private schoolkid (Aaron Stanford) comes home for Thanksgiving with one thing on his mind and it’s not turkey. He’s in love with his stepmother Eve (Sigourney Weaver), which leads to fling with a different hot older woman (Bebe Neuwirth). Midlife crisis meets teenage crush in a surprisingly witty movie. Quoting Voltaire and acting mature for your age may not seem like enough reason for older women to fall for him, but Stanford is convincing, and his old-fashioned courtship is more clever than creepy. This witty little delight was shot for next to nothing on digital and was directed by Gary Winick, who also produced another indie Thanksgiving movie. (see #4)

Charlie: So this means that you slept with Dianne.
Oscar: I realize now that was a mistake. I was drunk, she was wearing Eve’s scarf, it smelled of her perfume, I got confused.

8. The Daytrippers (1996)

A love letter found by Hope Davis on the day after Thanksgiving implicates her husband (Stanley Tucci) in an affair. This is the premise for a bizarrely funny road trip in the family station wagon from Long Island to Manhattan, where she will get all kinds of advice–although not the kind of heartwarming stuff one would normally associate with a Thanksgiving movie. On her way to confront him, her parents are soon along for the ride, as is her sister (Parker Posey again), and sis’s boyfriend (Liev Schreiber). Writer/director Greg Mottola (“Superbad”) made his debut with this unevenly-balanced dark comedy that often vacillates between hilarious and bleak, which is just the way I like my comedy. Screw Thanksgiving, this is the hangover afterwards.

Chap: We need to open another bottle of vodka. It seems that you put most of the last bottle in your mouth.

7. Nobody’s Fool (1994)

If I had made the Top 10 List of Good Bruce Willis Movies instead of J.D., this one would have been on there. Willis is sometimes best in supporting roles, where a little of his trademark charm can go a long way. In this one, he is the philandering boss of the main character Sully, played by Paul Newman. As it is, it’s also one of Newman’s best. Newman is a cranky old bastard who is as despicable as he is likable. After a lifetime of bad decisions and running away from his family, an unexpected Thanksgiving visit by his son and grandson offers him some repentance. Newman received an Oscar nod for Best Actor, but now this small and poignant film seems all but forgotten. Supporting work from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jesicca Tandy, and Melanie Griffith is solid as well, as is the direction of Robert Benton (“Kramer vs. Kramer,” “Places in the Heart”).

Peter: So if you’re not a father to me, how come you’re a grandfather to Will?
Sully: ’cause you gotta start someplace.

6. Grindhouse (2007)

Okay, I know this is against the rules, but it’s my Top 10, dammit, and all this mushy family forgiveness stuff is getting to be too much. (There’s more in store, though—read on!) The funniest and most gruesome three minutes of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s exploitation tribute was a ripping parody of holiday-themed horror called “Thanksgiving.” A fake trailer for a horror movie that doesn’t exist, it contains the entirety of schlockmeister Eli Roth’s great moments in one compact running time. Why waste your time watching “Hostel” or “Cabin Fever” when you could see everything good Roth has to offer for free, right here, right now? Maybe one day, the geniuses at Weinstein will see fit to restore “Thanksgiving” to its rightful place in between “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof” on a DVD release. Until then, here is the funniest and most shocking three minutes of this year. Happy Thanksgiving!

Beware: This clip may shock some and titillate others. Whether it shocks you or titillates you, it is the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me for adults only.

5. American Movie (1999)

One scene in this tragi-comic documentary by Chris Smith has more understated poignancy than a hundred “Miracle on 34th Street”s. It’s Milwaukee in November, and the Green Bay Packers are playing on TV. Depressed, alcoholic filmmaker Mark Borchardt tells his plump, heavy-metal loving friend Mike Schank without any trace of irony or false pretense that his mere visit that Thanksgiving has made him so happy, coming at the end of an especially hard week. It is a simply-expressed moment in a movie full of them, and it speaks volumes about the friendship between the two misfit lead characters. Smith’s take on the American dream is as funny as it is illuminating. Not everything takes place in New York or Los Angeles. If you enjoy great documentaries, but get bored of the same high-minded topics all the time, rent “American Movie” and discover how interesting stories right in your backyard might be.

Mark Borchardt: Would you buy this movie for $14.95?
Mike Schank: Yeah, hell yeah, man.
Mark Borchardt: If I can find 3,000 people like you across this country, man, I’m in business.
Mike Schank: Of course, man, I mean… shit, that’s what Rush tickets were.

4. Pieces of April (2003)

Peter Hedges, the writer of “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” and “About a Boy,” stepped behind the camera for this oft-forgotten film about the dark horse child of the family hosting everyone for Thanksgiving dinner. It was only four years, but it seems like ages ago that Katie Holmes was so lovable and charming (and not yet a staple of the tabloids) in the punk-rock-chick title role. Patricia Clarkson garnered an Oscar nomination for playing the acid-tongued Mom dying of cancer, but she’s not the only one with great dialogue. Yes, it’s a dysfunctional family drama, but the low-low-budget (shot in 16 days on digital film) and great ensemble work from the actresses, plus Oliver Platt and Derek Luke, bolsters the sense of realism a bit. Add in a great songtrack from Magnetic Fields singer/songwriter Stephin Merritt, and you’ve got a darkly funny comedy that never panders for laughs.

Joy Burns: (at the dinner table, she has yet to discuss her imminent death from cancer) I keep waiting for a good time to tell you, but there’s really no good time. I need everyone to listen…I don’t know how to say this…We need to discuss how each of you, Oh God…
Jim Burns: It’s OK, sweetie.
Joy Burns: How each of you is going to handle…discarding food without letting our hostess know. [starts laughing]

3. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

Woody Allen’s 1986 romantic comedy about three sisters is book-ended by two Thanksgivings. The tumultuous lives of the title characters, Manhattanites played by Mia Farrow, Barbara Hershey, and Dianne Wiest (who won an Oscar for her role), intertwine in the oddest of ways with quirky paramours like Michael Caine (who took home his first Oscar as well), Allen, and Max Von Sydow. It isn’t Allen’s most challenging film, but it proves that he’s a gifted storyteller with an unerring ear for the human heart. If this sounds overly mushy, maybe it is, but this is one Thanksgiving movie that will make you feel good without all the sicky-sweet stuffing that so many others have. Small roles from Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Lewis Black (!) are likely to stick out now.

Hannah: [after learning Mickey is infertile] Could you have ruined yourself somehow?
Mickey: How could I ruin myself?
Hannah: I don’t know. Excessive masturbation?
Mickey: You gonna start knockin’ my hobbies?

2. The Ice Storm (1997)

Katie Holmes and Sigourney Weaver again? Yep, it’s true. Along with Parker Posey, they are the repeat queens of this list, apparently. It is Thanksgiving during the Watergate scandal when a bunch of drunken, married adults go to swinger’s “key party” while their children are at home and elsewhere experimenting with the birds and the bees. Sound fun? It’s not, but Ang Lee’s somber drama is deeply felt and gorgeously rendered, from its 70s era-costume design to its icy cinematography and icier performances. Middle-aged selfishness and the post-hippie era confusion of the times weigh heavy on Joan Allen, Kevin Kline, and Weaver with disastrous results. This mature film was way ahead of its time, and launched the “serious” acting careers of several current Hollywood stars like Elijah Wood, Christina Ricci, Tobey Maguire, and Holmes. This one is not for the whole family, unless yours is the Berkman family from “The Squid and the Whale.”

Wendy Hood: (at the table, saying grace) Dear Lord, thank you for this Thanksgiving holiday. And for all the material possessions we have and enjoy. And for letting us white people kill all the Indians and steal their tribal lands. And stuff ourselves like pigs, even though children in Asia are being napalmed.
Ben Hood: Jesus! Enough, alright? Paul… roll?

1. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)

Forget “The Breakfast Club” and all his teen movies from the 1980s, this is John Hughes’ greatest movie ever. Hughes captures the true spirit of forgiveness and family in the desperate story of two men trying to make it home for Thanksgiving. Sure, Steve Martin’s streak of horrible luck with mass transit are hilarious (who can’t relate?), but it’s his hate/hate relationship with Del Griffith, the shower curtain-ring salesman from Chicago (played by John Candy, in his best performance ever) that gives this movie that special quality. Candy’s tragic early death makes Griffith an even more sympathetic character, but the Academy’s shortsightedness when it comes to comedic performances was fully obvious that year after not nominating Candy for the role of a lifetime. (Eddie Murphy was similarly snubbed in “The Nutty Professor,” only to be given a second chance in “Dreamgirls” with a more stereotypical ‘serious’ role) There too many classic moments to name, and the movie’s stature has only grown with constant reruns on TV. (Watch it Wed. Nov. 21 and Thurs. Nov. 22 on Comedy Central again!) “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” calls out for a new DVD transfer with lots of bonus features. Its current release is an embarrassing bare-bones edition. Supposedly, there is a three-hour version locked away in Paramount Studios’ vault. Do I smell a petition?

Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.

Tags: 10, celebration, films, holiday, movies, non-traditional, scenes, ten, thanksgiving, top, traditional, weird