Last night on “Late Show with David Letterman,” Sacha Baron Cohen responded to the host about his reality-based humor being difficult to pull off and dangerous to carry out in public by saying, “I won’t do it again.”

It doesn’t surprise me. What’s fascinating is finding out what amount of the shoot was planned, what was improvised, and what actually put the comedian in harm’s way. (Here is our on-camera review of “Brüno” with clips from the movie.) This press release from Universal is uncharacteristically candid about the making of “Brüno.” Sure, it’s got the normal publicist’s spin, but there’s plenty of interesting information here. It’s a look behind the scenes at this risky and fearless style of comedy. WARNING: SOME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE. (Kansas City residents, scroll down to “Finding Lutz” to see what was filmed here.) Here’s the highlights:

Following the global spotlight cast on Borat, the worldwide filmic journey of Austria’s most famous fashionista (and the host of Funkyzeit Mit Brüno) began with the filmmakers’ simple question of “Can we pull this off again?” Turns out it was possible…if they could keep their star and creative force both out of jail and alive until the end of the shoot.

If director Larry Charles and producers Sacha Baron Cohen, Dan Mazer, Jay Roach and Monica Levinson discovered nothing else from their time on Borat, they learned to live by one rule: “Know and obey the law, and always have an escape plan.” They were sure that if Baron Cohen got arrested or hurt, the production would have to shut down and they could be delayed for weeks. That maxim informed every aspect of the production, and they were able to stick to that plan.

Well, all but once.

While the majority of films have a strict daily schedule in which cast and crew know what is expected of them, the Brüno team didn’t enjoy that luxury. Each afternoon before a day of production, the group had to determine what they would lens the next day. They plotted their course, got on the scene and shot in rapid-fire succession. Then, it was off to the next locale to push the limits without breaking the law.

Believing it was crucial to top the extreme comedy they’d achieved with Borat, the team moved the needle much further on this production and had more serious police encounters than before. It didn’t stop there. The crew found themselves receiving calls from the FBI warning of death threats and dodging clenched fists, angry mobs and loaded guns at every step of the way.

Experience from Borat had taught that the entire cast and crew had to be on board (and working with the utmost confidentiality) to make sure that the guerilla filmmaking worked. From Baron Cohen’s getting hauled away by the Milanese police after filming a show-stopping appearance at designer Agatha Ruiz De La Prada’s event to his interrogation and strip search by the officers, there was never a dull moment on the globetrotting set.

Once initial scenarios (e.g., Brüno will be tossed out of a big fashion event, flirt with shocked subjects and interview celebrities on their humanitarian efforts) were agreed upon by Baron Cohen and his fellow writers, research began to find the best venues to visit and people to experience. The results captured on film would dictate next steps.

Over the course of 19 non-consecutive weeks during an entire year, the “well-oiled and completely disorganized machine” shot footage. By staying small, stealthy and relying upon the talents of a confidential pack of people, they were able to capture what’s never been seen before on film.

Traveling in five vehicles (three vans, one getaway minivan and one RV that doubled as a production room and changing room), the cast and crew made their way across America, Europe and the Middle East. Traversing Los Angeles, New York City and Washington, D.C., to Kansas, Texas, Alabama and Arkansas in America to London, Berlin, Paris and Milan in Europe and Jordan and Israel in the Middle East, they kept an exhausting schedule. Below is only a sampling of their outrageous stories.

Strip Search Me: Fashion’s High Price

When Baron Cohen and his fellow writers imagined setting up Brüno as a reporter at a European fashion week where he would meet his Waterloo, they explored the various events that he could attend in a time frame that would work for filming. Not wanting to hedge their bets on one location, the filmmakers went to New York City, Paris and Milan and secured credentials for multiple seasons of those cities’ respective fashion weeks.

The team made it to Milan Fashion Week in late September 2008. They had imagined a gag in which Baron Cohen as Brüno would, dressed in a suit made entirely out of Velcro, exit a car outside a fashion week arena and sneak his way onto the runway; director Charles and the camera crew would capture it all. Early attempts to get into other shows failed when security recognized and banned all the key players of the production. The officers called the police and threw Camp Brüno out while they accused them of stealing clothing.

Brüno had been blackballed from Milan Fashion Week. The Italian Chamber of Fashion issued a press release to designers and warned them of the possibility Baron Cohen would try to crash their events; the chamber further advised access be denied to Brüno’s production company. With an image out on television stations and across the Internet, Baron Cohen was a man on the run. For their part, the Milanese police declared he would be arrested on sight. Everyone was looking to take down the fabulous talk-show host with the acerbic wit.

While any future attempts appeared fruitless, the team was not accustomed to throwing in the towel. Their solution? Baron Cohen insisted that they change everyone’s appearance and create an entirely new crew. Director Charles shaved his beard and modified his hairstyle; likewise, producer Mazer cut his hair, as did other members of the Milanese camera crew. Everyone involved in the final stunt changed his or her outfits.

Complete with haute couture scarves and funky glasses, they became entirely new fashionistas to fit in with the others. This would be the team’s last chance to get the Velcro scene the writers had carefully constructed. Standing between them and the stunt? Extra police and tighter security were brought in to comb the area for Brüno.

Seizing an opportunity 30 minutes before designer Agatha Ruiz De La Prada’s fashion show began, the man who created Brüno knew what he had to do. The team secured him the proper credentials, and he walked in…not as the host of Funkyzeit Mit Brüno, but in the guise of an Italian photographer in a fabulous new outfit.

Accompanied by his hair and makeup artist and co-writer Hines, Baron Cohen found a hidden nook backstage and transformed into Brüno. He attempted to reduce his rapid breathing as, inches away, models and security walked by him in disguise. The performer knew that if he were discovered that the team’s last, best chance of locking this critical scene would be over. Shortly after the show began, he seized his chance. Bursting out of his hiding place and onto the backstage, Baron Cohen sprinted past stunned models and lunged by waiting security guards.

The producers were euphoric when Baron Cohen (as Brüno in a Velcro suit covered with clothing) fell onto the runway. The crowd went wild in outrage while the cameras rolled. Just as the team caught the footage they needed, security shut the lights off and dragged Baron Cohen off the stage. Police cuffed the actor and hauled him to jail while his fellow crewmembers chased him down. Though he claimed that he’d made an honest mistake—he’d simply put on a Velcro suit and walked in—Baron Cohen was strip searched and questioned by seven police officers.

Undaunted, the team moved on to their next adventure. It wasn’t days later when Baron Cohen threw out the question: “Can we go to Paris next week for Fashion Week?” The other producers’ weary response: “Fine…we’re going to Paris!” They shot for two days in October and landed prime seating at such coveted events as Stella McCartney’s line unveiling and Jean-Charles de Castelbajac’s show. Brüno was clad in another outrageous outfit at the latter and, of course, making comments as the cameras rolled.

That was not the last that self-professed style makers would see of Brüno.

Though the sequence wasn’t used in the final cut of the film, the production shot a scene at a Berlin nightclub where Brüno gave his farewell address to the fashion world. In the middle of an all-night rave, Brüno snuck into the deejay booth, killed the music and proceeded to deliver a 10-minute speech to the bewildered patrons.

According to the delusional fashionista, his audience was the recipient of “the most important speech since Martin Luther King, Jr.’s ‘I Have a Dream.’” Needless to say, the hyperkinetic ravers did not take well to their music getting cut and began taunting the strange man giving the unsolicited lecture. Bottles and cups full of beer began pouring down on Brüno. As the nightclub’s security muscled Baron Cohen from the club, the drunken ravers began lunging after the man who had interrupted their fun. During the melee, an assailant hit the performer in the neck while others tore at his clothing.

Brüno was officially out.

Finding Lutz

When the writers were crafting Brüno’s journey, they realized he needed a partner in crime as he traveled the globe. To cast the part of the fashion host’s second assistant, the initially meek (and hopelessly in love with his boss) Lutz, the production conducted an exhaustive search; casting sessions were done in the U.S., Germany, London and multiple other locales. Lutz would be the perfect “straight man” for Brüno, going along with his insane ideas such as swindling a baby from an African tribe and trying to become heterosexual. And he did it all in the name of love.

During auditions, producer Dan Mazer recalled an actor from one of his favorite films, a Swedish comedy from writer/director Lukas Moodysson called Tillsammans (Together). He had been moved by Gustaf Hammarsten’s performance and insisted the team bring in the actor to try out for the part. When he read for the role, they knew they found their Lutz.

Along with the film’s star, Hammarsten took many risks during the shooting of the film and was an unflappable player in the troupe. From being manacled to Baron Cohen in a hotel room in Kansas City to swapping blows in an Arkansas cage match, the actor was astonishing in his versatility and bravery. And just as Baron Cohen had, Hammarsten studied German in school and knew enough to engage in conversation with Brüno in this language.

Roof Jumps and Broken Heels: Fame is Painful

In Brüno’s quest to be über famous, he would find some curious interview subjects. None were more fascinating, however, than those who should be much more media savvy: celebrities. From Paula Abdul and La Toya Jackson to Brittny Gastineau and Ron Paul, Baron Cohen managed to have singers, reality stars and politicians say and do more on camera than you can even imagine.

One of the more astonishing social experiments was the use of “Mexican Chair People.” The team had staged an outrageous gag in which Brüno realizes he has no furniture upon which to seat his subjects. What to use as chairs and benches? Latino gardeners, of course. Naturally, they didn’t expect anyone to actually sit upon the men (all of whom are stuntmen and actors) without serious pressure being applied. It proved to be stunningly easy to get compliance from the talent. Every celebrity sat right down.

American Idol judge Paula Abdul and infamous Jackson sister La Toya Jackson agreed to be interviewed by Herr Brüno and sit on the help. Both were very game to rest on the backs of the supposed day laborers. Hard to comprehend? Director Charles helps piece it together; he believes it is human nature to want to have our egos fed and we’ll forgive “small” transgressions in the process.

From his work on such films as Borat and Religulous, Charles realized that, simply put, people just want to be interviewed. With on-air talent, they believe it is part of their job to promote their project, and neither they nor their publicity team need to be too fastidious about the details.

For regular people, the rule of “everybody wants a little piece of fame” applies. With many subjects, if you put a camera in front of and a lapel mike upon them, they’ll say whatever they’re thinking for the possibility of 15 minutes of attention.

While Abdul, Jackson and Gastineau were interviewed in Los Angeles, the production spent time in Washington, D.C., to get the thoughts of a certain politico. During the time period he was running for U.S. president, Ron Paul was interviewed for the film

It was an elaborate, risky set-up on the part of the Brüno team. They had to deal with U.S. Capitol police and Secret Service, not to mention the army of handlers working with Paul. As soon as the interview wrapped (and Paul stormed off the set), Baron Cohen was whisked out of the suite, into a fake police car, and onto a flight headed for New York City.

The arduous work of shooting Brüno finally took its toll. The performer was bedded by a case of the flu and wasn’t permitted to fly. Production had to shut down for two days. Though not fully recovered, he was propped up long enough to shoot the Mexican Chair bit, then flown to Kansas for integral scenes in which he was manacled to Gustaf Hammarsten as they made their way through a hotel and a mall.

During the hotel room scene in which Baron Cohen and Hammersten were chained together on the bed, word arrived that the police were in the lobby. As Kansas City’s finest rode up the elevator, both men made a mad dash down the emergency exit staircase. To their alarm, they discovered the staircase ended at the second story. They were trapped.

It was time to choose between facing the police (read: possible arrest and deportation for the Europeans) and a 15-foot leap to freedom. Both men took the plunge and fled into the escape vehicle.

Baron Cohen was officially down for the count. His antibiotics gave him thrush. The hair depilatory he was using gave him a strong reaction. After recovering from sinus infections, and forcing himself to recover, Brüno was back in action. Until his alter ego broke a heel while wearing platform boots during a Stunt in the Midwest and production had to shut down for another seven weeks.

Terrorists to Supremacists: Engaging Fundamentalists

While director Charles and the other producers learned to expect the unexpected when it came to the mind of Sacha Baron Cohen, one thing they were not prepared for was the actor’s intentions for Brüno to help negotiate peace in the Middle East.

The production’s general policy for interviews is that Baron Cohen allows subjects to keep going and give the most honest reaction they can to the scene he’s created with his fellow writers. With the suggestion that the company mingle with terrorists, however, the reaction among the normally brave key players was: “How the hell are we going to be do this and not get everyone killed?” They knew they couldn’t safely go to Jordan, Israel or the West Bank to set these up.

Well, at least that’s what they thought.

Before they embarked upon the plan, the team met with Middle East experts to learn what lines could never be crossed; they engaged the help of key Palestinian, Jordanian and Israeli advisors to understand these unwritten codes of conduct. Whether they followed them, however, was another story.

This region proved to be the most intimidating and life-threatening location in which the team would shoot. After slyly getting the former Jordanian prime minister to take part in a 90-minute interview at his home, Baron Cohen needed to meet with the country’s royal family to smooth things over. And if that—coupled with engaging members of Mossad and other fundamentalist politicians in the region—wasn’t enough, Baron Cohen as Brüno headed to an area of the West Bank (in Zone C) that is not under Israeli control. If anything went wrong, there would be no help from the Israeli army. The filmmakers were truly on their own.

Surprisingly, the head of the Bethlehem unit of terrorist group al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigade agreed to meet with this correspondent. The leader of a sect known for suicide bombings sat with Brüno while an aide translated curious, highly offensive statements from the interviewer. And while they spoke, they were surrounded by the terrorist’s bodyguards…who grew more and more agitated by the barbs.

Once Baron Cohen and Charles arrived at the secret location in the West Bank, they were informed that Palestinian intelligence knew they were there and were keeping an eye on their every movement. With no time to waste, the team got the footage they needed and quickly headed back into protected territory.

What peace process would be complete without getting feedback from the other side? One of the more rapid experiments for the production was Brüno’s sashay through a Hasidic neighborhood in Israel. Among this conservative community, men and women are forbidden from showing much skin (including legs and arms). In retaliation for his offenses, furious members of the crowd chased Baron Cohen after Brüno took a stroll in skin-tight short shorts and a Little Debbie-inspired bonnet.

They were out for blood. A large, angry crowd of Hasidic Jews began to gather, intent upon harming Baron Cohen for his actions. The performer was forced to hide in the store of a compassionate shopkeeper until a van could reach him and assist his getaway. Only then could he hunch down on the floor of the getaway vehicle and avoid the growing potential riot situation.

Back in the U.S., the production assumed it would be on safer ground. Wrong. They engaged with a domestic terrorist who was as dangerous as any they’d encountered overseas. While the scenes they shot didn’t make it into the final cut of Brüno, the team lensed at a prominent white supremacist’s house. The man who had spent a decade in prison for violent hate mongering did not take it very well when Brüno introduced him to his then-gay lover, Diesel. The supremacist cocked his fist and went to attack Baron Cohen, who was able to avoid his punch and make it safely out of the house.

Ruthless Stage Parents

Another area of interest to the team was the worldwide fascination with celebrities’ lives and the mixed messages performers give when showcasing their families to an eager public. The creative team realized that if Brüno tried to appear to be a selfless, doting father, he could (in his mind) vault his status in the celebrity community.

Naturally, he should adopt a child. And what could make him seem to be a more caring, famous parent than bringing an African baby from a tiny village into his unorthodox home? If Madonna and Angelina could do it, so could Brüno.

Much like a fashion accessory, Brüno would cart his adopted son (played by twin boys) everywhere he went…from casting sessions and impromptu weddings in California to talk shows in Texas. Of course, the boys’ parents and a social worker became part of the camp’s lean team and provided support for the twins at every step of the way.

Nowhere was he a bigger surprise, however, than at the Dallas-Fort Worth international airport. While director Charles shot the scene and fliers’ reactions, Brüno and his assistant pretended to pick up his newly arrived child from the baggage carousel. The jetsetter had just been on an African safari, and this child was his most precious and fantastic new souvenir.

However, Brüno was not the only one who wanted to be a superstar.

Few find the quest for fame as enticing as some parents of aspiring child actors. The filmmakers wanted Baron Cohen as Brüno to examine the players of that world, and he conducted multiple casting sessions with caregivers of “aspiring” child actors in Sherman Oaks, California, in February 2008. Interviewees were instructed that their children were being considered for an upcoming photo shoot with the host’s baby. For all involved in the production, it was stunning to listen to the bizarre and dangerous lengths to which some parents would go for their children to become a part of the public eye.

When it was Brüno’s time in front of the camera, Baron Cohen posed ever-more exaggerated questions to find out the extent to which these parents would allow their children to be in jeopardy. After the performer wrapped the final auditions, the team was so unnerved by the parents’ bizarre reactions to increasingly shocking scenarios that they made sure the eager parents didn’t follow through. Members of the team called and advised the eager stage moms and dads that they shouldn’t proceed as if their child got the part; he or she wouldn’t be a part of a photo shoot.

Locked and Loaded: Hunting Brüno

When he began production of Da Ali G Show several years ago, Sacha Baron Cohen believed he would have to use all his improvisational skills to lead people down a path and get them to react for the camera. Turns out he was quite wrong. Much goading or antagonism wasn’t necessary at all. He found that once interviewees had a lens in front of them and were prompted with uncomfortable scenarios, they reacted incredibly honestly. People don’t say or do things on camera that they don’t mean.

Likewise, director Charles and the producers were fascinated to realize the levels of anger that came when some subjects were confronted with Brüno’s homosexuality. A simple act such as a kiss between two men enraged certain people, and all their reactions were caught on camera. Sometimes, they were infuriated to the point that they wanted to physically harm Baron Cohen.

This was most definitely the case when traveling with four hunters in Alabama. The men agreed to take the foreign correspondent and his crew along with them as they went hunting, but they wouldn’t be giving up their guns at any point. The crew attempted to get the men to relinquish their weapons during filming, but that wasn’t as easy as it sounds. In fact, when things got heated, guns got drawn.

Once the hunters realized Brüno was gay and believed he was hitting on one of them, they readied their rifles. The production found itself in a standoff in the dark with armed men who were growing increasingly agitated by Baron Cohen’s pranks. The hunters were stewing by the time the team pulled up stakes, and their reactions were soon reaching a boiling point. During one discussion, one of the men actually pulled a weapon on a crewmember and pointed it at him.

It was time to get out of Dodge.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Breaching National Security

After Brüno decides he must become straight to find fame, he goes on a cross-country journey to eradicate any hint of his homosexuality. A logical stop to do such complicated work? The U.S. Army National Guard headquarters in Anniston, Alabama, about 65 miles from Birmingham. Unfortunately, this unit of the National Guard was unable to guard its own base from one canny British infiltrator.

The production lucked into the scenario when they asked a contact at the National Guard if the production could imbed on-air talent for the day. They explained that the purpose of the visit was to let their audience know what it was like to live and work as a candidate in officer training school. While there, Baron Cohen, dressed in the latest style of fatigues (read: Dolce & Gabbana), perplexed his fellow soldiers with his stunts.

It was not one of the finer days for national defense. When the production’s van came into the training ground, no one was asked for identification. Oddly enough, it turned out to be the perfect storm of confidentiality for the team, as the younger recruits were not allowed to speak freely unless they received the go-ahead by a commanding officer. If they had given permission earlier, the senior members would have known what several of the 20- to 22-year-old guys did: The man behind Borat was in their midst.

Once the crew heard the buzz that some of the young men suspected Baron Cohen was there, they packed up the team and got them out ASAP. As they were loading the performer into the van and driving rapidly off the base, the guards yelled out for them to stop and began to close the gate. Ten seconds too late, as Brüno (and the perfect amount of footage of his acting up during officer training school) were out the door. Had the team been moments later in their exit, the National Guard could have confiscated the tapes and they wouldn’t have seen the light of day.

When finally confronted with the question of “Did you know who that trainee was?,” the recruits responded with a firm: “Yes, sir! Sacha Baron Cohen, sir!”

Dangerous Cage Fights: Unmasking Homophobia

Aside from interviewing the terrorist leader in the Middle East, one of the most dangerous stunts during the production was the cage fight in which Brüno realizes the love of his life is in the ring with him. As they ensured during most scenes shot for the film, director Charles and the producers booked a back-up venue in case they didn’t get the right material on the first day of shooting. If needed, they could intercut with footage and salvage the bit. They knew that once word was out that the production was in town, it would spread like wildfire; they had to stay one step ahead of the public.

Nowhere did the filming get more dangerous, however, than when interviewees and other subjects of the film saw the relationship develop between Brüno and his traveling companion, Lutz.

In early June 2008, the production worked with a venue in Texarkana, Arkansas, to host a night of “Blue Collar Brawlin’” in which audiences would watch ultimate wrestling and get cheap beer. Brüno, transformed from hard months of life on the American roads learning how to be heterosexual, would battle it out with anyone who dared to challenge the macho man he’d become. This set-up would involve pushing the strict local and state morality standards to the edge.

It was vitally important for the production to avoid breaking any statutes or codes, and they always made certain they were on the right side of the law. As well, the team didn’t want to take chances with angry officers and made every effort to keep the police apprised and on their side. It didn’t hurt, however, to know they were close enough to two other states if they had to escape Texarkana.

The first night, the venue in Southwestern Arkansas would initially only supply police to serve as the arena’s security guards. But once the production told the officers that the audience might get unnerved when—during the course of the evening’s entertainment—two men kissed, the police reply was that they wouldn’t cover the event. They would, however, come back if any audience members called in a complaint and problems arose. And did they ever.

The cast and crew were now on their own.

As a producer, writer, creator and star of the comedy, Baron Cohen knew that it would be impossible for him to perform in character if he was concerned about his team’s safety. Moments after the first embrace between the two men, chairs were pulled up and tossed, a fighter who had been watching from the audience climbed into the cage and challenged Baron Cohen to a fight. Director Charles got none of the footage he needed, but Baron Cohen and the crew escaped just in time. The police did not return to the scene.

Overnight, they moved the entire operation several hours to the north to Fort Smith, Arkansas. Once there, the Brüno team was contacted by the Fort Smith police about what happened in Texarkana; these officers were reluctant to cover the event. As police were the only security certified to man the convention center, the production thought they were out of luck. Fortunately, the producers met with the chief of police and several other officers to secure the clearance needed. They left the meeting armed with a list of city ordinances that were stricter than the Arkansas state rules.

Lessons learned, for the Fort Smith event, the team made sure there were no glass bottles that could be used as projectiles, and they wired chairs together so fans couldn’t pick them up and lob them into the ring.

Seconds after the kiss, attendees became furious. Soon after, one member of the crowd unwired a chair and threw it at Baron Cohen’s head. At that point, it was a near riot and the performers were rushed from the premises. Audience members and other fighters alike were screaming epithets and surrounding the bus and the field team. It ended after a stand off that lasted many hours, with 40 police officers from the Fort Smith division helping to rescue the cast and crew and quell the angry mob.

Tags: behind, Bruno, did, film, filming, how, it, last, making, movie, of, REAL, scenes, STORY, the, they

Eric Melin and guest host Ryan Magnuson from “The Sports Buddaye” review the new Michael Bay movie “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox and a whole lot of “fighting robot” porn. Is the constant barrage of crazy transformers fighting each other enough to make the two and half hour movie worth recommending? Are the comedic elements too over the top? Find out what makes this 2009 Transformers movie different from the last one in this on-camera movie review.

Tags: 2009, bay, Fallen, fox, labeouf, megan, Michael, movie, of, Revenge, review, shia, the, Transformers

Our good friend Alan Rapp from Transbuddha.com created this very funny slideshow synopsis/review of McG’s mind-bogglingly mishandled “Terminator Salvation.” Please be aware that if you have not seen “the movie and you still want to, THIS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS! Don’t say you weren’t warned. It also starts automatically on the page, so click away now if you don’t want any spoilers.

What’s great about this slideshow is that it points out some of the similarities “Terminator Salvation” has to other, better sci-fi movies in a pretty spot-on and hilarious way.

Here is a link to my on-camera review of the movie.

Tags: comparison, filled, Hilarious, of, off, rip, slideshow, spoiler, spoilers, synopsis, Terminator Salvation

Our Top 10 list today comes from Sean O’Connell, a frequent sitegoer who lives in Rockaway, New York City. If you have a Top 10 list you’d like to contribute, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Here’s Sean:

I have always overheard people say that there is no stronger bond than that of sisters. The opposite is true when it comes to Hollywood: There is no stronger bond than brothers. This list contains the top 10 movie brothers of all time. In order to qualify for this list, they had to be established as brothers early on in the movie. There can be no secret revelation at the end of the film—for instance, at the end of “Goldmember” when it’s revealed that Austin Powers and Dr. Evil are brothers. Christian Slater revealing to Kevin Costner that he is the one and only brother of Robin Hood in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” will also not be on this list. (For that and many other reasons as well.) My apologies to Charlie and Raymond Babbitt (“Rain Man”), since they just missed the cut. So until Quentin Tarantino makes the long overdue Vincent & Vic Vega film, here are the Top 10 Movie Brothers of all time.

10. “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (1982) Charles Jefferson & little brother

This classic high school comedy is not about brothers, but the Jefferson brothers make the best of what little time they have—appearing in only two scenes together. Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) is the star football player for Ridgemont High. His little brother, whose character name is listed as “Jefferson’s brother” (portrayed by Stanley Davis Jr.), is a slacker and best friends with Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn). All that big brother Charles wants to do for his younger brother is get him Earth Wind & Fire tickets. His little brother pays him back by (along with Spicoli) destroying Charles’s beloved car bought for him by the alumni, which leads to the funniest football scene in any movie (“Hit by Jefferson, crushed by Jefferson!”)

Jefferson’s Brother: “First he’s gonna s#*%, then he’s gonna kill us”

9. “Wyatt Earp” (1994) / “Tombstone” (1993) The Earps

These are the only real-life brothers to make the list. The famous law enforcement threesome, made up of Wyatt, Virgil, and Morgan (James does not make the list because he was not a sheriff), took part in one of the most remembered old west gunfights ever portrayed on film. Name another group of brothers who could walk down the street in the middle of the day—carrying guns, dressed in black, and wearing really big mustaches—and open fire on the bad guys. The battle at the O.K. Corral has been filmed numerous times over the years, but I went with the most recent two portrayals because they were the most graphic. From the Kevin Costner-led “Wyatt Earp”:

Wyatt Earp: “My name’s Wyatt Earp… it all ends now!”

8. “Twins” (1988) Julius and Vincent Benedict

Julius (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Vincent (Danny DeVito) are twin brothers, born as a result of a science experiment, and separated at birth. Once Julius finds out he has a brother, he sets out to Los Angeles to find him and hi-jinx ensue. The jokes in this movie obviously play on the fact that the two stars are so polar opposite, but they work. By the end, you find yourself actually liking the characters and convincing yourself that they could be brothers. Fortunately, Hollywood did not try to cash in on the success of this movie and continue the adventures of the Benedict brothers (they instead went with the Schwarzenegger bomb known as “Junior”) and left this movie to stand on its own.

Julius Benedict: “No, I could never fight for money.
Vincent Benedict: “Well that’s fine. You fight, I’ll keep the money.”

7. “Trading Places” (1983) Mortimer and Randolph Duke

These two callous millionaires (portrayed by Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy) get their kicks by placing crazy wagers for high stakes ($1!) that result in changing the lives of a common criminal (Eddie Murphy) and a commodity broker (Dan Aykroyd). Even though these two brothers are in their 70s, they still work together, live together, and probably never married because they had each other. They are even the best of friends—until they lose all their money of course. The Dukes would make a triumphant return to the big screen five years ago in “Coming to America,” where we find out they are now homeless. But you can’t keep a good pair of brothers down for long. Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) gives them a bag full of money which prompts Mortimer to say to Randolph, “We’re back!”

Randolph Duke: “Mother always said you were greedy.”
Mortimer Duke: “She meant it as a compliment.”

6. “Boyz N the Hood” (1991) Ricky & Doughboy Baker

This is the second movie on the list to have two brothers who are totally opposite. Ricky (Morris Chestnut) is a high school football star who dreams of one day getting out of the hood on a football scholarship. His half brother Doughboy (Ice Cube) is a street gangsta who gives in to the violence, alcohol, and crime surrounding him in his environment. These brothers make the list because Doughboy single-handedly takes down all the people involved in the Ricky’s death. Now if that is not having your brother’s back, then I don’t know what is.

Doughboy: “Either they don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood. They had all this foreign s#@!. They didn’t have s#@ on my brother, man.”

5. “Backdraft” (1991) Stephen and Brian McCaffery

These Irish brothers find themselves drinking, fighting, destroying their own personal relationships, and hating each other. Stephen (Kurt Russell) is forced to raise Brian (William Baldwin) after their father (also Kurt Russell) dies in a fire. Both brothers join the family business and fight fires together while trying to figure out an arson mystery, but still find time to despise each other. This does not mean that someone else can bad mouth either of them, as is proven when a fight breaks out at a retirement party between Stephen and his ex-wife’s new boyfriend as a result of the boyfriend calling Brian dumb: “You got something else to say about my brother!” The McCafferys find time to make up for years of annoying and misunderstanding each other just in time for Stephen to die. Now that is timing.

Stephen McCaffery: “Who’s your brother Brian?”
Brian McCaffery: “You are Stephen.”

4. “The Godfather” and “The Godfather Part II” (1972/1974) The Corleone Brothers

OK, first of all “The Godfather Part III” is not on this list for many reasons, but for the purposes of this Top 10, there was only one brother left in the movie (Al Pacino). The first two movies highlighted the most famous organized crime brothers ever portrayed on the silver screen: Sonny, Fredo, Michael, and even Tommy Hagen (he was “adopted” after all.) All-star actors James Caan, John Cazale, Al Pacino and Robert Duvall portrayed these brothers. Each brother brings something different to the table; Sonny is headstrong, but violent and impulsive. Fredo is kind and trusting (apparently too trusting). Tommy (of Irish descent) was found by Sonny living in the streets, was taken in by Vito Corleone just for the purpose of one day sending him to law school so he can become the family consigliere. Last but not least, there’s Michael who starts out innocent but by the end of the story he is a cold hearted, ruthless monster. These brothers would rank higher if it weren’t for the backstabbing (or back-shooting) that takes place between them. Sonny berates Michael whenever he expresses interest in the family business, Michael starts to treat Tommy as an outsider, and they all look at Fredo as useless—Sonny even sends him away to Vegas. The last act of brother betrayal rivals Cain and Abel, as Michael orders a hit on his own brother and watches it happen from the boat house.

Michael Corleone: “Fredo, you’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever”

3. “Strange Brew” (1983) Bob and Doug McKenzie

You knew they were coming. Canadian brothers Doug (Dave Thomas) and Bob (Rick Moranis) spend a lot of quality time with each other. OK, they spend a lot of time drinking beer, talking about beer, and trying to get free beer (the mouse-in-bottle trick is one classic way to accomplish that). They even save each other’s lives by drinking beer underwater in order to not drown. The main reason these brothers are high in the list is that they were able to make the leap from small screen (“SCTV”) to the big screen and never get boring or played out. They took a five-minute sketch and turned it into an instant comedy classic. Here they are reviewing their own movie in 1983 on PBS’ “Sneak Previews.”

Bob McKenzie: “My brother and I used to say that drownin’ in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he’s not here, and I’ve got two soakers… this isn’t heaven, this sucks.”

2. “Slap Shot” (1977) The Hanson Brothers

These three hockey-playing brothers add a tremendous punch (literally and figuratively) once they enter the movie about midway through. The Charlestown Chiefs are a struggling minor league hockey team with low attendance but that all changes when Reggie Dunlop (Paul Newman) decides to give the newly acquired Hansons a chance off the bench. Jeff, Steve, and Jack Hanson (Jeff Carlson, Steve Carlson, and David Hanson) immediately add life to the Chiefs by fighting all the competition. They fight during warm ups, they jump in the stands to fight the fans, they get arrested, they fight vending machines, they wear tin foil on their hands, they were thick black glasses, and they even pack their toys for road trips. The Hansons add the needed passion for the Chiefs to eventually make it to the championship game. The main reason the Hansons bumped the McKenzies for the second spot was because real hockey players who had never acted before portrayed them. What’s even more interesting is Jeff and Steve are real-life brothers. Their other brother Jack was originally supposed to be in the film but was called up from the minors and replaced by David Hanson weeks before filming started. The reason these brothers did not make the top spot was because of “Slap Shot 2” and Slap Shot 3.” The Hansons also have trouble letting go of the past—they apparently travel the country as their alter egos. I prefer to remember them in their glorious prime of 1977 and will never waste my time watching the sequels.

[Referee skates over to Steve Carlson during the playing of the National Anthem]
Referee: “I got my eye on the three of you. You pull one thing, you’re out of this game. I run a clean game here. I have any trouble here, I’ll suspend ya.”
Steve Hanson: “I’m listening to the f*!#@$%g song!”

1. “The Blues Brothers” (1980) Jake and Elwood Blues

The top spot respectfully belongs to John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd for their turn as two orphan brothers who were raised on rhythm and blues. This is the second set of brothers to make the leap to the movies from television, but what is amazing about the Blues Brothers is that their first performance on “Saturday Night Live,” which took place on April 22, 1978 (“Soul Man”) became an overnight success, which Belushi and Aykroyd were able to cash into a successful movie. These guys were not only comedic geniuses, but they actually could sing amazingly well. Jake and Elwood take the top spot because other than the opening scene of Jake getting out of jail, they are in every scene of the movie together from beginning to end. They get chased by the police, John Candy, angry ex-fiancées (Carrie Fisher), The Good Ol’ Boys, Bunker Bob, swat teams, the national guard, and even the Illinois Nazis throughout the whole movie and still find time to raise money for their old orphanage and become heroes. OK, they go to jail, but they are still heroes to me. Watching them never lose their calm during high-speed chases or attempts on their life is part of their charm. They destroy a shopping mall by driving through it, but still have time to comment on all the new stores that have opened up and all the space it has. Aykroyd and Belushi not have been real brothers but they are greatest movie brothers of all time.

Elwood Blues: “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”
Jake Blues: “Hit it.”

Tags: 10, best, brother, famous, film, list, movies, of, teams, ten, top, Top 10 Movie Brothers, Top Ten Movie Brothers

There’s been much speculation in recent weeks over the fate of the Peter Jackson/Phillipa Boyens/Fran Walsh-scripted adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” after the news that original director Guillermo del Toro would be too busy with his myriad projects (a “Frankenstein” re-imagining, H.P. Lovecraft’s “Mountains of Madness,” etc.) to continue on as director. About his “Frankenstein” piece, del Toro says:

From SciFi: “The greatest soulless monster of Frankenstein has always been Christopher Lee, because when he stares at you, there’s really nobody home. It’s literally one of the scariest moments I remember as a kid. I thought, “Oh, my God, this thing is not human.” And the opposite, the complete polar opposite, is Boris Karloff, who is more human than humans. So you will have both those vibes in the piece.”

With del Toro officially out, it seems that Brett Ratner will now be sitting in the director’s chair.

Ratner (the director of the “Rush Hour” series) is Hollywood’s “go-to” guy for taking over valuable franchises after his work on “Red Dragon” and “X-Men: The Last Stand,” but news that he’s taking over Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” franchise is bound to piss a lot of people (like myself!) off. His latest project before this, a reboot of the “Conan the Barbarian” franchise, appears to be on hold for now.

I thought “Red Dragon” was pretty straightforward and workmanlike, with no real visual flair or anything, but at least he got the ending of the book right. I love Michael Mann’s “Manhunter” (the first filmed version of Thomas Harris’ novel), but always wondered why he ditched the book’s last pages for Iron Butterfly’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” and William Peterson breaking through full-length glass windows.

As far as “X-Men” number three, I felt that most of the characters’ story arcs were rushed and the movie didn’t have the same feel as the first two. It was a disappointing wrap-up for the series, especially given that Bryan Singer’s “X2″ was so spectacular.

But what will Ratner do with “The Hobbit”?

Sources say that Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis are rumored to still be frontrunners to remain in their respective roles of  Gandalf and Gollum, but that Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit played by Ian Holm in the “LOTR” series, will need to be replaced because his advanced age does not match up with the prequel nature of the story.

Ratner has said that he wants to replace Holm with a multitude of actors kind of like Terry Gilliam did on “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.” Casting rumors continue with names such as Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, and Shia LaBeouf currently in talks with New Line’s reps.

“I want to expand the reach of ‘The Hobbit.’ It’s a classic story for everybody and I want to reach as many people as possible, ” Ratner says. “There is a facet of Bilbo Baggins in all of us, and having a multi-ethnic cast will really bring that feeling to the forefront.”

I think this is a bad idea, but I’m willing to give it a chance. What do you think?

Well, I got lots of emails and tweets from people who were fooled by this April Fools joke. Some of you knew it was too ridiculous to be true. (Did the Chris Tucker/Jackie Chan/Shia LaBeouf thing finally throw you off?) Anyway, hope my little joke didn’t cause you too much heartache. Del Toro is still on the job, folks! Happy April Fools! /film has a list of some of the other April Fools jokes that were out there today.

Tags: Brett Ratner, direct, director, directs, lord, of, on, peter jackson, reins, rings, takes, the, The Hobbit, to

Eric Melin and guest co-host Whitney Mathews (www.whitneymathews.com) review Mickey Rourke’s comeback role in Darren Aronofsky’s new movie “The Wrestler.” Co-starring Marisa Tomei as the stripper who wins his heart and Evan Rachel Wood as his estranged daughter, “The Wrestler” is a gripping, realistic walk through some important moments in the life of fictional 1980s professional wrestling icon Randy “The Ram” Robinson. It may not be the WWE (WWF) or ECW, but Aronofsky’s movie is about as hardcore as it gets.

Tags: aronofsky, Darren, Evan Rachel Wood, instant, Marisa, Mickey, of, on-camera, review, Rourke, the wrestler, Tomei

Eric and drummer extraordinaire Billy Brimblecom tackle the newest installment of the James Bond franchise. “Quantum of Solace” stars Daniel Craig as a less-talk, more-rock version of the mighty British 007 spy. This movie is already out in the U.K., but we here in the U.S. get our first crack at it this weekend in theaters. How does “Quantum of Solace” add up the the last Craig-Bond movie, “Casino Royale.” Find out in this on-camera review!

Tags: 007, bond, craig, daniel, james, movie, of, quantum, review, solace

The term “jump the shark,” named after the stupefying moment in “Happy Days” when the Fonz jumped a shark on water skis, has evolved to become a catch-all phrase that suggests that a TV show has seriously lost its way, be it against the original characterization of the show or its become just plain desperate for ratings. In fact, “jump the shark” is so often used these days that it doesn’t merely apply to TV shows anymore. That “jump the shark” moment can apply to almost anything.

Well, the new pretender to the throne—being pushed by some as specifically a movie term—is “nuke the fridge,” a term that definitely doesn’t roll off the tongue and simply isn’t needed. Is “nuke the fridge” the new “jump the shark”? No. Movies can jump the shark just like TV shows can. We don’t need a specific movie term, especially when it doesn’t contain an instantly relatable verb like “jump” that gives the physical description of something that has actually veered off track. “Nuke the fridge” refers to the opening scene in this summer’s “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” where Indy is protected from an atomic blast by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator. So while I’m predicting a quick demise for “nuke the fridge,” I believe that “jump the shark” is here to stay. In the spirit of calling out those desperate moments, I present my list of Top 10 Movies That Jumped the Shark.

10. Ocean’s Thirteen (2007)

Each film in this series from director Steven Soderbergh has been a little less good. Plausability was never a big factor, but by movie number three, George Clooney and company had officially entered fantasyland. The first had a natural breeziness, the second wasn’t quite as much fun, and this one was just completely ludicrous. First off, the daring—nay, impossible—heist is motivated mainly by revenge? Why risk “one last time” if that’s the only reason to meet up again and risk getting caught? Secondly, the heist plan is insanely stupid and unlikely, even for a movie like this. The team uses a huge mega-drill whose purpose it is to simulate an earthquake, therefore forcing evacuation of the hotel. Thirdly, the freshness is gone and the routines are starting to become a little stale. The solution? Bring in Al Pacino as the new bad guy and make the old baddie (Andy Garcia) the good guy. Not so much. The “Ocean’s” series were never meant to be taken seriously, but by the time of “Ocean’s Thirteen,” the series had jumped the shark and was in danger of becoming a parody of itself.

9. Back to the Future Part II (1989)

Yes, “Back to the Future Part III” was a Western. And that was not good. But the cracks were showing in Part II well before Part III had Marty McFly wearing a cowboy hat and being known as “Clint Eastwood.” Part II was an error of excess, with Michael J. Fox playing three characters (he’s a regular Klump!), future Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) as the Mr. Potter of “It’s A Wonderful Life,” and Crispin Glover (his Dad) being replaced by a stand-in with sunglasses. The hoverboards were cool though; especially when director Bob Zemeckis said jokingly that they were real once in the press and people actually went out looking for flying skateboards at their local toy shops. However, if you thought the whole “changing the time and fabric of the past” idea was complicated, wait till you see Zemeckis try to explain the suspense in this one.

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

After the playfulness of the first unexpected “Pirates” hit in 2003, Disney filmed two overstuffed sequels back to back. “Dead Man’s Chest” expands way too far on its original mythology when its hull simply cannot hold that much water. It treats every minor character like main characters when they deserve scarcely a scene or two. Keeping track of everyone’s motivation is a Herculean task, and offers little reward at the movie’s conclusion. It also gets stuck in second gear in the first half hour, when Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) get separated for no particular reason other than to send them each on their own stalled adventure. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare, but he plot doesn’t make a lick of sense. None of the relationships feel even remotely real, and the movie jumps the shark when it forces an uncomfortable love triangle on the three main characters that fits like one of Knightley’s tiny corsets. Mostly, “Dead Man’s Chest” is concerned with setting up the relationships for movie number three, which was even worse.

7. Rocky III (1982)

The original “Rocky” won Best Picture in 1976 (beating “Taxi Driver”—shame, shame), and 1979’s “Rocky II” mostly stuck to what made the first one so successful. It also gave the audience a chance to see Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) actually win the big match this time. So when 1982’s “Rocky III”—like the second picture, directed by Stallone—featured our scrappy underdog champion boxer fighting Hulk Hogan (as Thunderlips) in a wrestling ring, it was obvious something had gone clearly wrong. That fight, where Hogan attacks Rocky with his Atomic Leg Drop move, is the precise moment that the “Rocky” series turned into something else entirely. Enter Mr. T as Clubber Lang (who pushes Rocky’s beloved trainer out of the way, causing a fatal heart attack) and Dolph Lundgren as the Red Menace (who villainizes the USSR during the mid-80s Cold War in “Rocky IV”), and nothing would ever be the same. A nefarious yet probably unintended side effect of Hogan’s appearance in “Rocky III”: It might actually have convinced several million people that wrestling was real.

6. Jason X (2002)

No, this is not a sequel to Spike Lee’s biopic of a certain civil rights leader, but rather the 10th installment of a series that was way past its prime. Which brings up an interesting question: Can a movie series be accused of jumping the shark if its already been on a steep decline for years? The answer is yes. After the required 3D part three (see also “Jaws 3-D”), the “Friday the 13th” series—starring hulking hockey-masked slasher Jason Vorhees—had produced six more sequels where the killer chases and butchers teenagers in a variety of situations. (One sent Jason to Hell and another was even subtitled “Jason Takes Manhattan.”) “Jason X” sees Vorhees frozen in 2010 and then thawed out in the year 2455, after the Earth has become too polluted to support life and humanity has moved to a new planet, Earth Two. He’s let loose on a spaceship, and the teens use future technology to simulate Crystal Lake and trick poor, abused Jason, who is left only to his devices (a machete). “Friday the 13th” may have been off track for a while there, but when a cryogenically frozen killer is on the loose in space, you know the series has officially jumped the shark.

5. Jaws 3-D (1983)

OK, I’m not defending “Jaws 2” here. It was a crappy movie, made only to capitalize on the fact that there were still plenty of people in the world scared shitless of sharks after Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws.” But at least “Jaws 2” had Roy Scheider. “Jaws 3-D” was such an obvious gimmick that the entire film qualifies as a “jump the shark” moment. Dennis Quaid (in his first starring role) and Louis Gossett Jr. would prefer to forget this movie, which featured an angry man-eating shark stalking the underwater tunnel at SeaWorld. The shark is mean, but is thwarted more than once by friendly dolphins (I’m not kidding) before it smashes through the control room glass and sends everything flying forward in a flurry of fakey 3-D imagery. The shark had officially jumped the shark.

4. Superman II (1980)

It is rare that the best film in a series also contains the defining moment where the character lost its way, but that’s exactly the case with Richard Lester’s otherwise witty and darkly funny “Superman II.” Three Kryptonian criminals wreak havoc on the U.S. just at the time when Clark Kent (Christopher Reeve) decides to give up his powers as Superman. Bad timing. It all leads to a showdown in Supes’ Fortress of Solitude, where the Man of Steel tricks the villains in a clever turnaround, stripping them of their powers instead. But all the best banter between Lois (Margot Kidder) and Clark can’t hide the fact that the popular series jumped the shark during this movie. Lester showed little respect for Superman’s mythology anyway, but he really threw it all out the window when Superman hurled a giant “S” logo at one of the flying baddies to repel them. Super speed? Check. Super strength? Check. The ability to fly? Check. But a big piece of fabric in the famous “S” logo that traps and confuses opponents for a second or two? Hmm … don’t remember that one. From then on out, the series showed no love for the character’s key traits and went downhill fast, with Lester’s pathetically off-track “Superman III” and Reeve’s pet-project-turned-bad “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.”

3. Return of the Jedi (1983)

Many “Star Wars” fans maintain that the introduction of Jar Jar Binks was the first time they realized that their beloved sci-fi series was in jeopardy of becoming truly ridiculous. I contend that George Lucas’ movies first jumped the shark way back in the original trilogy. What is Jar Jar Binks but a lame stab at comic relief; a pathetic ploy to garner a younger audience of action-figure fans? Wait, you mean C-3PO and R2D2? Yes, it’s true, folks. Lucas was trying to appeal to young kids with the infantile yet charming arguing of those two famous droids. And it worked: The pair became massively popular, with 3PO even getting a delicious breakfast cereal named after him. But it was the Ewoks that took Lucas’ kiddie pandering too far. Not only were they overly cute little balls of fur, but there was way too much silly slapstick Endor fun going on while the universe was in jeopardy. Then, as if the presence of Jar Jar—I mean, the Ewoks—wasn’t bad enough, Lucas ended his grand space opera trilogy with—what else?—a dumbass Ewok song. In the original version, it’s an annoying “yub nub” ditty. In the Special Edition, the scene is extended to show all kinds of planets celebrating to a slightly-less-awful but twice-as-long Ewok song. The next time you complain about Jar Jar, just remember how old you were when you first saw the Ewoks. They paved the way for Jar Jar and midichlorians.

2. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

It’s a bad sign when you’ve committed to more than one sequel but you only have enough good ideas for one, tops. It means there are all kinds of scenes in the movie that either meander for too long or simply shouldn’t have been in there in the first place. Take “The Matrix Reloaded,” for example. Once the audience learned what the Matrix was in the Wachowski brothers’ 1999 movie, there was nothing left to do but spend some time in the film’s fictional “real” world, a place where musclebound, half-naked men and women grind themselves into a slo-mo frenzy to bad techno music. This out-of-place music video “celebration” was a real “WTF?” moment. It was hard at first to tell whether the scene was intended as a joke or not. When it kept going and going, it was obvious that something was rotten in the state of Zion. From then on, “The Matrix” movies were full of too much quasi-religious hot air and not enough danger or suspense. The final nail in the coffin was the tedious “The Matrix Revolutions” and all its Christ imagery, but the out-of-place jungle boogie in “Reloaded” was the first warning.

1. Batman & Robin (1997)

The Batman series from 1989 that started with Tim Burton was never perfect, but even by the time Joel Schumacher took over with Val Kilmer on “Batman Forever,” it was still sometimes interesting. Schumacher got way too big a head after the success of “Forever,” however, and threw everything sacred about the character out the window for this universally hated sequel starring George Clooney as the Caped Crusader. “Batman & Robin” co-starred Chris O’Donnell as Robin, Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, and put the franchise to rest for eight whole years. Exhibit #1: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr. Freeze, whose lame, punny, cold-weather putdowns mirror those of the action star’s other movies. Exhibit #2: Batman on Ice, where he and Robin battle Freeze’s henchmen on ice skates. Exhibit #3: Glow-in-the-dark body paint. Exhibit #4: The Batman credit card. Exhibit #5: Bat nipples. “Batman & Robin” didn’t just jump the shark, it shoved a giant gas tank in its mouth and blew it to shreds!

Tags: 10, batman, films, fridge, jedi, jump, Jumped, matriz, movies, nuke, nuked, of, reloaded, return, revolutions, robin, Shark, That, the, top

“The Incredible Hulk” director Louis Leterrier’s remake of “Clash of the Titans” will be filmed on backlots with lots of greenscreen digital backgrounds like Zack Snyder’s “300,” and will star Sam Worthington in the Harry Hamlin-originated role of Perseus. The only cause I see for celebration is that the movie is written by Lawrence Kasdan (”The Empire Strikes Back,” “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “Body Heat”).

The original “Titans” was the last movie featuring the stop-motion genius of Ray Harryhausen and featured a hideous Medusa, a mechanical owl named Bubo, and the giant Kraken (found recently on my Top 10 Giant Monster Attacks! list). Zeus’ son Perseus is on a quest to save Princess Andromeda and he must jump through several hoops, including capturing Pegasus and slaying the snake-haired One.

Part of what made it so creepy and unreal was the stop-motion creatures, so I don’t know if straight-up CGI will be that interesting. Maybe there is a digital way to approximate the same jittery, otherworldly feel that Harryhausen’s creations had. That would be cool. Leterrier’s “Hulk” was just fine, a workmanlike combo of the TV show and comic, so I’m not expecting too much here, but Kasdan’s presence is reassuring.

Other Greek epics in production? Tarsem Singh’s “War of the Gods,” in which Theseus, a warrior from Greek mythology, leads a fight against the imprisoned titans. One thing that makes this story unique is that unlike some mythological tales, the Gods fight alongside mortals. with Tarsem (“The Fall”) on board, this could be visually stunning. Let’s hope it’s not also incoherent, like his earlier “The Cell.”

Brett Ratner’s “God of War” is based on a popular videogame and takes place in ancient Greece where the warrior Kratos, who tackles mythological beasts such as Medusa, Cyclops and the Hydra, is on a quest to find Pandora’s Box and destroy Ares, the God of war. with the recent announcement of the above two pictures, though, Ratner is going to have an uphill climb. This seems like the one that will benefit the most from being released first, if only because the others will probably be more visually stunning and cutting edge.

And then there’s the rumored “300″ sequel. (Which is really weird, considering that the 300 Spartans are all dead.) Well, it’s kind of a prequel. But not really. It will take place somewhere between the Battle of Thermoplyae, which was fought during “300″ and the Battle of Platea, which is the battle that was started at the end of the film. But before any of this can be filmed, Frank Miller (who’s still finishing up directing duties on “The Spirit”) has to complete another graphic novel. Can you say overkill?

Tags: 300, brett, Clash, frank, gods, harryhausen, kasdan, lawrence, Leterrier, Louis, miller, of, prequel, ratner, ray, remake, sequel, singh, Tarsem, the, Titans, war, wars

First off, Dustin and I want to thank everyone for who donated any of their time and/or money to the Scene-Stealers.com “Night of Rock n Roll Horror” event last Wednesday night at the Screenland Theater in downtown Kansas City. Everybody had a great time, and almost everybody went home with some kind of badass prize. Most importantly, we also raised a lot of cash for the Children’s Music Fund.

As you can tell from the photo on the right, sitegoer Lindsay Parker was pretty excited to win the 32GB iPod touch, and she wasn’t alone. Scene-Stealers Top 10 author Tony Sams kicked everyone’s ass in the horror trivia game (despite answering “Kazaam” to one of the questions he didn’t know), walking away with a full-sized autographed “Grindhouse” poster.

We played Rock Band (apparently, I don’t know as many of the words to Mountain’s “Mississippi Queen” as I thought I did, and I certainly can’t sing in tune), did some “Thriller” Jacko zombie dance moves, and drank the Screenland’s special of the night–an actual drink called the Trick or Treat that contained vodka, triple sec, amaretto, and orange juice.

We watched original 80s trailers for “This is Spinal Tap,” “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure,” “Say Anything,” and “Breakin’.” It was a pretty nice score to have the four original fake trailers from last year’s “Grindhouse,” especially since three of them are not available on the two DVDs they wrongly split that movie into. But I have to say…the trailer for “Theodore Rex,” starring Whoopi Goldberg and a giant animatronic farting dinosaur was pretty spectacular.

Our feature presentation, “Trick or Treat,” in my mind, held up pretty well as a really fun B-movie in a campy sort of way. It was a lot funnier then I remembered, and the Scene-Stealers crowd yelled out their fair share of punchlines. “Don’t play that tape, it’ll blow your bra off!” from the girl in the front row was one of my favorites.

Anyway, thanks again to Transmuto, Spiral16, the Screenland Theater, and all our sponsors for a great night. Here’s a link to more pictures from the event.

Tags: benefit, children's, fund, horror, music, n, night, of, rock, roll, scene-stealers