Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert, in his increasingly angry and fun-to-read Roger Ebert’s Journal has once again hit the nail on the head. His subject? The fact that movie critics everywhere are getting fired and thoughtful reviews are being replaced by celebrity news briefs about Britney’s clubgoing or cute bits about how Suri “won’t wear pants.”

I quote: “The celebrity culture is infantilizing us. We are being trained not to think. It is not about the disappearance of film critics. We are the canaries. It is about the death of an intelligent and curious readership, interested in significant things and able to think critically.”

I have been thinking about printing some kind of critic’s creed for this site, something that attacks “critics” who spend half of their review summarizing plot and/or making snide remarks about the actors in the film they are reviewing, rather than getting involved on any sort of deeper level with the movie itself. Ebert wrote his own personal Little Rule Book just last month. (Examples: Provide a sense of the experience, Advise the readers well, Keep track of your praise.)

Don’t get me wrong. Celebrity culture has its place. It’s not for me, but I get why it exists. It’s just that when I go see a movie, I like to get lost in it. I don’t want to be thinking about Suri’s dressing habits or Tom jumping on the couch when I watch “Mission: Impossible III.” I want to believe, for two hours, that superspy Ethan Hunt fears for the life of the girl he loves. Or that sexist evangelist Frank Mackie from “Magnolia” has a secret buried in his past that makes him say vile things in public and make a tremendous amount of money from them.

That’s because I love the mystery and magic of filmmaking. That’s why I do this site. I love to see films, write about films, discuss films, and examine how they reflect my life and how they open my eyes to others’ lives. Film is culture, that’s all there is to it. Anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t thinking about what they see.

Ebert mentions several great film critics whose prose is as good as their content. I’m always working on both and I’m never quite content with what I write, but I always strive to get better—more focused, more insightful, honest. There are/were also plenty of of lazy-ass critics out there who love to be the first ones to see and pass judgment on a film and really think nothing of it. I’ve seen plenty. In print and in person. They like nothing better than wielding what little power they have, and think very little about the consequences of words and comments tossed off so nonchalantly.

One reason people are becoming so pissed off at critics is because most of them are so formulaic and boring to read. Reviewing film is not a checklist activity. You don’t go right on down the line and talk about every little technical issue without discussing overall content and culture. The cinematography may be beautiful to look at in “Australia,” but how does that relate to the story? What is the filmmaker telling us? Is it different from what he thinks he’s telling us? Are there mixed messages being sent? The neo-realistic puke-cam look of “The Blair Witch Project” advanced that film’s purpose a thousand times better than the big-budget excess of “Australia” because the horror movie’s design was absolutely tied into its lack of budget.

If reviewing movies is different, then, from simply commenting on whether the acting was ”astounding” or the set design was “marvelous,” what is it that bugs you about movie reviews? (I’ll tell you what bugs me: Quote-whore critics who throw one-word value-judgment adjectives in movie ads.) What would you like to see writers avoid? What are you tired of? Or, what would you like to read more of? Now is your chance to sound off.

I hope you will start thinking soon, because it won’t be long before you will be a scene-stealer. Big changes are on the way here at Scene-Stealers.com, and soon this site will be allow YOU to be the critic. Ever wonder how that line gets drawn in the sand between a “credible” critic and everyone else? We are going to kick it right back in the faces of anyone who doesn’t think our opinions about movies matter. We’re the ones they make them for, after all.

Now it’s their turn to listen to us.

Tags: celebrity, critics, cult, ebert, little, movie, news, opinions, quote whores, review, roger, rules, scene-stealers creed, suck, why

Jason Sudeikis (”30 Rock,” “Saturday Night Live”) is so good as the rock-band manager in the new movie “The Rocker” that he pretty much steals the show. Being rockers ourselves, we wanted to do something a little different than the normal junket interview. Sudeikis was in town promoting “The Rocker” (starring Rainn Wilson), so we ambushed the comedy star with a homegrown rock n’ roll quiz to see how much of his portrayal was a result of Method acting. As it turns out, this didn’t quite go exactly as planned. This is probably the last time we try to quiz a movie star. Yikes! Maybe we should just stick to the regular junket questions. Anyway, enjoy this very uncomfortable interview with Jason Sudeikis from a dirty hotel room somewhere in Kansas City.

Tags: 30 Rock, entertainment, interview, Jason Sudeikis, news, rock quiz, Rocker, Saturday Night Live, SNL, The Office, trivia, uncomfortable, web series

More cool news from the “Watchmen” movie camp:

You’ve got to be a member of the New York Times website to see this, so I’ll just post the entire article here, but the gist of it is that the “Tales of the Black Freighter” story that serves to comment on the action in “Watchmen” will be released simultaneously with the theatrical release of the movie, only on DVD only. Another highlight, director Zack Snyder says his cut is approaching three hours. I say they do  Volume One and Two like “Kill Bill” and make it four or five hours total!  Here also is a photo of the Minutemen group of superheros, circa 1940. Again, like the other photos released so far, the art direction and costuming are nothing short of first rate. i’m so thankful they are keeping all periosd elements of this excellent graphic novel the same…this photo is courtesy AICN.com. here’s the Times article:

By BROOKS BARNES

Published: May 26, 2008

LOS ANGELES — Retail’s love affair with the DVD is on the rocks and Warner Brothers Entertainment would like to patch things up. 

In the movie “Watchmen,” Jesse Reid reads “Tales of the Black Freighter,” which will appear as a DVD within days of the film.

Faced with a decline in DVD sales, Warner Brothers, part of Time Warner, is planning an unusual effort around its upcoming adaptation of the popular graphic novel “Watchmen.” Directed by Zack Snyder and set for a March 2009 release, the big-budget movie tells the story of a group of retired superheroes who are tied to a conspiracy that could change history.

The twist is that Mr. Snyder, known for turning the Spartan comic book series “300” into a global hit movie, is also directing a separate-but-related picture that Warner plans to distribute exclusively on DVD.

The second film, tentatively called “Tales of the Black Freighter,” follows a side “Watchmen” storyline about a shipwreck and will arrive in stores five days after the main movie rolls out in theaters. The DVD will also include a documentary-style film called “Under the Hood” that will delve into the characters’ backstories.

Warner, the No. 1 distributor of DVDs, bills the effort as a way to renew retail excitement for little silver discs now that the once-booming market has matured.

After years of blistering growth, domestic DVD sales fell 3.2 percent last year to $15.9 billion, according to Adams Media Research, the first annual drop in the medium’s history. While it is still a blockbuster business, any decline is cause for concern because DVD sales can account for as much as 70 percent of revenue for a new film. Results for the first quarter this year were mixed, with overall sales flat but notable softness for some new releases like Warner’s box office hit “I Am Legend.”

As a result — and as consumer adoption of the next-generation Blu-ray discs lags — some important retail partners like Wal-Mart Stores have been starting to rethink how much shelf space they devote to the category. Also up for discussion is to what degree retailers market new releases in circulars and with in-store promotions.

“There is a fear that if the DVD category declines over time that any well-run retailer is going to re-evaluate its commitment,” said Ron Sanders, the president of Warner Home Video. “We are offering retailers a meaningful opportunity to be involved with the theatrical event, to have a product that will generate foot traffic and sales.”

If that sounds like spin, to some degree it is. The movie studio would not be drafting one of its top filmmakers and sinking millions into “Tales of the Black Freighter” if it did not see a direct benefit for itself.

The immediate goal is for the parallel release to help start a potential new movie franchise. As television advertising becomes less effective because of declining TV viewership, movie studios need to reach a mass audience somehow, and having what amounts to ads sitting on store shelves is seen as a crucial antidote.

The effort is also a way for Warner to get more DVD bang for not many more bucks. The “Watchmen” film, Mr. Synder said, will probably generate at least three DVDs: “Tales of the Black Freighter,” followed about four months later by release of “Watchmen” itself, and then an “ultimate” edition in which the two are edited together into one megamovie.

“The überfans of this property are going to go crazy for that,” Mr. Snyder said.

Warner has another reason to make nice with retailers. The studio, under added scrutiny from Wall Street now that its corporate parent plans to spin off Time Warner Cable, has annoyed chains by leading a movement in Hollywood to simultaneously release titles on DVD and on video-on-demand services.

Retailers worry that DVD sales will suffer from the lack of exclusivity, but Warner — which enjoys 60 percent profit margins for video on demand, compared to half that for physical DVD sales — says there is no cannibalization. Warner said this month that it would distribute many new releases simultaneously to DVD and on-demand services.

Warner downplayed any friction from the growth of video on demand. “Our retail partners haven’t seen a dramatic impact one way or another on their business, so they’re allowing us to work on it,” said Mr. Sanders.

Retailers seem to be taking a wait-and-see approach to Warner’s olive branch. Wal-Mart, the nation’s biggest DVD retailer, with as much as 40 percent of sales, declined to comment. Target, which has historically accounted for about 15 percent of DVD sales, said, “We’re always looking for opportunities to generate excitement in our entertainment business.”

Tom Adams, the founder of Adams Media Research, predicted that retailers would embrace the “Tales of the Black Freighter” strategy. “They have every reason to try it,” he said. “It’s a fresh idea and it’s something that will be of value to movie fans.”

Warner knows releasing a related film on DVD at the same time it is trying to motivate people to buy tickets to “Watchmen” is not without risk. Consumers could become confused about which is which. And if they are disappointed in the quality of “Tales of the Black Freighter,” the plan might hurt sales of the “Watchmen” DVD.

“We feel a great responsibility to do this well for exactly these reasons,” said Diane Nelson, president of Warner Premiere, the division responsible for direct-to-DVD projects. “The movies that we do under this parallel content strategy have to be viable in their own right.” Although Ms. Nelson declined to reveal the budget for “Tales of the Black Freighter,” she said it was 30 percent to 50 percent higher than a typical direct-to-DVD effort.

Still, some concessions were made because of the budget, Mr. Snyder said. The original plan was to tell the “Black Freighter” story in a visual style similar to the mock-historical “300.” But an early budget was approaching $20 million and the studio balked, he said. Instead, the feature will be animated.

Mr. Snyder said he was eager to head a direct-to-DVD project, in part because it would allow him to use more material from the “Watchmen” graphic novel.

“I thought the ‘Black Freighter’ story would never see the light of day,” he said. “The main picture is nearing three hours long and I know I have a fight on my hands just with that.”

In addition, the studio plans a dozen 22- to 26-minute Webisodes to help make the complex story easier for the uninitiated to digest. Called “The Watchmen Motion Comic,” it will be a panel-by-panel slide show of the graphic novel narrated by an actor.

Although no decisions have been made, Mr. Snyder, who is overseeing the digital component but leaving the details to others, said the Webisodes would probably be combined for later release on — you guessed it — DVD.

Tags: minutemen, news, tales of the black freighter, watchmen