It’s taken me almost a week (and two trips to the doctor) to come down completely from my amazing experience at the U.S. Air Guitar Championships last Friday in Washington, D.C.

I, as Mean Melin, competed against 24 other air guitarists from all over the country who share the same affinity for rock n’ roll and making fools out of themselves onstage that I do.

It reminded me a lot of being on VH1’s “World Series of Pop Culture” two years ago: A huge group of people are thrown together over their strange (and formerly useless) talent in front of a large audience to challenge each other onstage, but only one winner is declared. Everybody would like to win, but most of the people are just there to have fun.

We all spent a lot of time in the small, crowded, B.O.-filled backroom of the 9:30 Club and I immediately felt sorry for the four brave and badass female air guitarists (McNallica, Airisol, Mojo Gojo, and Airin Maiden). I got to know many of the other contestants and had a blast hanging out with them.

There was a brief and bizarre press conference (made way cooler and funnier by West Coast air guitarist Awesome, who is also a comedian), a hallucinatory red carpet walk outside the club, and then the show began—late, of course, because there was a line down the block and around the corner. I think the sellout crowd was like 1,200 or something. Wow.

The security guy wouldn’t even let me in the back alley to work out some last minute kinks in my routine! Apparently, he was intent on protecting the “talent” (air guitarists) from …. the talent.

Being a newcomer, I drew a number out of a hat and ended up going sixth, so I wasn’t expecting much. My air roadies (Peter “Stiff” Dickens and Mot Waldmann) and I hit the stage with lots of energy.

They gave me a joint, shot me up with air heroin, I snorted air cocaine, and I was ready to rock. My special edit (thanks, JoJo!) of Megadeth’s “Wake Up Dead” and “Bad Omen” began and it was ON.

I rushed the routine a little bit and smacked my head really, really hard on the stage at the end on accident (leaving me temporarily dizzy and with a huge pain in my head and left eardrum), but other than that I felt pretty good about it. The audience seemed to dig it too, cheering the loudest when my air guitar “impaled” me in the chest and blood spewed up in the air.

The judges didn’t share the love. Maybe it was because I’m a first-timer, or maybe I didn’t sell all of my unorthodox movies well enough (guitar neck that extends 30 ft. during solo, swinging guitar around neck, impalement). Whatever it was, it was clear I wasn’t moving on to the second round.

I read later that someone poured beer on one of the judges and that the audience booed when they gave me crap scores, so there’s some solace in that.

I can’t get too worked up—it’s air guitar after all!

Either way, I’ll be gunning for a spot next year for sure because that was an infectiously fun and insane evening.

The other competitors all brought something new and hilarious and I was cheering like I was front row at a KISS concert circa 1977.

There were six people who advanced to the final round and, in the end, NYC champ William Ocean edged out DC champ (but Chicago native) Sanjar the Destroyer for the crown and the trip to Finland to compete for the World Air Guitar Championship.

There’s a ton of great video from the show. Go to YouTube and check it all out if you’re curious. I can’t begin to explain how much fun this is, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

A huge thanks from me goes out to everyone at U.S. Air Guitar, our esteemed host Bjorn Turoque, all the fans who cheered and photographed and videotaped the show, and all the other air guitarists.

To all you musicians who think this is “stupid.” You don’t get it. This is the ultimate expression of rock fandom. It transcends playing real guitar and it’s a tribute to kick-ass rock tunes that make you want to jump up and down or stop steering when you’re behind the wheel. If the idea of this competition offends you, you take things too seriously.

It’s ain’t over ‘til it’s over
One last performance: The Pitch has invited me to do my act at the 2009 Pitch Awards at the Uptown Theater this Sunday Aug. 16.

My actual band, The Dead Girls, is nominated for Best Pop Band in the awards, but I’ll be displaying my airness Sunday night rather than my drumming prowess. So be it! Air guitar lives for one more night!

There was a lot of press coverage of this insane journey this summer, so I’ll include some links for you to check out below.

There are at least two demo videos below that I can’t embed here, so if you want to see a 2009 air guitar demo or me impromptu air guitaring to an edit of “Ogre Battle” by Queen (thanks, Kliph!), check some of these links out below (or my last blog post).

Pitch coverstory by Justin Kendall

Article in Lawrence Journal-World and video of “Ogre Battle”

The comments on that one are hilarious. Example: “Get a job!”

Interview/video in InkKC of KISS’ “Love Gun” and more “Wake Up Dead”

Pitch reporter Erin Slattery’s coverage of the DC show

Tags: 2009, Air Guitar, championships, Coming, down, from, mean, melin, national, nationals, results, the, us, video, winner, wrap-up

Did I write a movie review that really pissed you off? If so, and you want your revenge, tomorrow morning might be a good time to exact it. Paramount and AMC are celebrating the release of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” and the new IMAX screen in Kansas City for a pre-opening event called “Transformers Tuesday!” I’m not sure how that relates to me being in a dunk tank, but that’s where I’ll be tomorrow morning at Independence Commons 20 (19200 E 39th St. Independence, MO) between 7 - 9:30am.

Come by before you go to work and get revenge on me for hating the new “Wolverine” and “Terminator” movies! I’ve been stopped in public and taken to task for reviews before, but never like this. Another film critic who you will be able to dunk is fellow KC Film Critic’s Circle member Russ Simmons of Fox 4’s Screening Room. Who could pass up this chance? Here’s a press release that has some more details about the other stuff happening too, including “Transfromers” cars and robots, etc…

• WHO: Paramount Pictures is partnering up with AMC Independence Commons 20 to celebrate the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the opening of the new IMAX screen in Kansas City for a pre-opening event dubbed as “Transformers Tuesday!”
  

• WHAT: Mix 93.3 will be on site at AMC Independence Commons on “Transformers Tuesday” and Kansas City residents are encouraged to come out to win prizes by dunking local personalities in a dunk tank, and will even have a chance to destroy a sheetrock Decepticon from Smash-n-Shatter! Independence students from First Bots of Independence (the “FBI”) will also be present to show off their award-winning robotic designs, and Cable Dahmer Chevrolet will be on-site to display “Transformers” cars like the ones featured in the film. To officially celebrate the opening of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the new IMAX screen at AMC Independence Commons 20, a proclamation will be read recognizing “Transformers Tuesday” and AMC/IMAX Day on behalf of Mayor Reimal.

• WHEN: Tuesday, June 23

• 7:00 – 9:30 AM

• WHERE: AMC Independence Commons 20

• 19200 E. 39^th St. South Independence, MO 64057

COOL FACTS ABOUT TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

• Optimus Prime will be life-size on IMAX screens in many forest fight shots.
• Select scenes were filmed using IMAX technology.
• 14 robots last time, 46 robots this time
• If you had all the gold ever mined in the history of man, you could build a little more than half of Devastator.
• Devastator’s hand is traveling 390 miles per hour when he punches the pyramid.
• The pyramid destruction simulation was 8 times bigger than the old rigid simulation all-time record holder at ILM.
• All robot parts laid out end to end would stretch from one side of California to the other, about 180 miles
• Devastator’s parts stacked tip to tip would be as tall as 58 empire state buildings.
• If all the texture maps on the show were printed on 1 square yard sheets, they would cover 13 football fields.
• Devastator has more than 10 times the number of individual parts found in an average car.
• Laid out end to end, Devastator’s parts would be almost 14 miles long.

Tags: amc, commons, critic, dunk, eric, film, independence, melin, transfromers, tuesday

“Hey, who wants to be a millionaire?”

Some jackass at the Replay Lounge asked me that question last night after this article appeared in the Lawrence Journal-World. Hell yeah, I do. Are you kidding? Who doesn’t want to get paid a huge some of money for putting all that (formerly) useless movie trivia to work? Today is my first appearance on Netflix Millionaire Movie Week on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”  Click here to find out what time it is showing in your area. In my neck of the woods, it’s on at 2:30pm and 4pm.

Last year my friend Jill Ensley convinced me that it was worth getting off work early to drive up to a car dealership in Kansas City and try out for “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” At first, I thought she was crazy, because I really don’t know enough general trivia to get on that show. (This was proved when I didn’t pass the regular test later that afternoon.) But then she told me they were also testing for Millionaire Movie Week, where all the questions would be about movies. That changed everything.

Long story short– My boss Kim let me off work early (thank you!), I went to KC, passed the movie test, and here I am today. Or, there I was in the Hot Seat in October of last year, rather. I’ve been silent about what happened on the show, but I can’t wait for my friends and family to see it so that I have no more secrets to keep. Meredith was amazing. She was totally encouraging and everyone who works on the show were awesome as well– they really want you to win tons of cash. I met a whole batch of cool movie-geek contestants, and had a great time.

More later…

2/20/08

Video Clips:

Start this video at 2:00 in to see one question right, then my ultimate downfall.

Watch Meredith read the question that tripped me up here.

Okay, so I’m not a millionaire. But I’ll take being a $25,000-aire any day. I kept telling myself over and over that I wouldn’t risk anything unless I was absolutely sure, and yet, there I was, risking huge amounts of money while trying to hold on to lifelines for later. I guess that’s why they call it a “game” show. It wouldn’t have been fun to watch someone guess everything right away and then stop when he didn’t know them anymore. Those third tier questions are designed to make you think and rethink and sweat and think some more.

One thing I noticed, but not nearly as much as when I was sitting in the Hot Seat, was how dry my mouth was. I was drinking lots of water backstage to try and compensate for it, but my mouth was dry as hell. Sometimes the body just reacts to things a certain way, and nothing I could do mentally seemed to control it. My lips were sticking to my teeth and I was licking them and moving them around and making weird faces.

The other thing I noticed is when Meredith told me I won $50,000 after a long, protracted battle with myself (where I pictured Alfred Molina in a snow speeder on Hoth fighting Imperial walkers), I went a little nuts. She did that disappointed “awww” thing to sink my spirits for just a second and then told me I was right. I screamed like a little girl and put my hands on my head. That was funny.

Meredith was hilarious. She’s so good at being charming and keeping everything moving. When the 50/50 thing didn’t go my way, she insisted (like the producers earlier) that it was a random computer program, and when the audience groaned, her reaction was very funny. She even did the “rock fist up” and the “Swiss fist” with me! She’s 100 percent on the contestant’s side, but when I was weighing my decision to go for $100,000, she egged me on there as well. She knows how to squeeze the most amount of tension out of these situations. I was worked up just watching it again, and I already knew what happened.

What a surreal exerience this whole thing has been. You have to embrace how strange life is, I think. Standing in my ripped up Chuck Taylors and shorts while sharing an elevator once with Celine Dion’s husband (René!) who was dressed to the nines and serious as a heart attack was so funny, I was giggling while he was still standing next to me. On one side, a multi-millionaire. The other, a scrubby kid who lives out of a van.

Opening for Miguel Ferrer and Ed Begley, Jr.’s rock band in Santa Monica during the grunge explosion of the early 90s was so exciting, that backstage I forgot what a bottle opener was. Thanks to my good pal Miguel, I had an open bottle of beer in no time. Most celeb sightings and stories I hear are about big stars and the like. I mean, I just interviewed Will Ferrell two weeks ago. But how many people can say that they opened up for a band fronted by a “Twin Peaks” cast member and the drummer for Spinal Tap?

Sitting on the set of a game show with dramatic sound effects, roving spotlights and cameras, and an audience that’s building up your confidence and cheering you on to act like a bigger and bigger imbecile ranks right up there with those surreal experiences. Getting the show’s host to make silly hand gestures that you made up with your friend one day in your living room is priceless.

What’s even more bizarre is that, when it was all over and I got my TV-sized fake check (they give you the one with your name and a million dollars on it, too, just for posterity), I was suddenly on a sidewalk in New York City, outisde the ABC studios, looking at Central Park. All my friends in NY were still at work, so I strolled on over there and spent the next hour and a half just walking around with a big grin on my face knowing that life had just thrown me another wild curveball. And why not?

It’s a good thing I decided to ask my boss if I could leave early that day in July last year.

Tags: a, be, contestant, diary, eric, melin, millionaire, movie, netflix, to, wants, week, who