Eric and guest host Trevan McGee (InkKC.com) review the new apocalyptic disaster porn movie “2012″ starring John Cusack and directed by Roland Emmerich. The Mayan prophecy says the world will end in 2012, and Hollywood has co-opted that premise for a flick with lots of state-of-the-art CGI special effects. Is “2012″ up to the cinematic standards of the man who also directed “Independence Day” and “The Day After Tomorrow”? Does it at least succeed as a  doomsday action movie? Find out in this on-camera movie review of “2012″ with clips from the film.

Tags: 2012, 2012 movie review, cusack, emmerich, film, mayan, movie, review

Warren J Cantrell, the man who wrote so many Top 10 lists for us that he started his own site (10rant.com), is back! Here’s Warren:

I recently saw a movie with an assassin character that frightened me so thoroughly that I realized there were things in this world more terrible than credit card interest and reality television, more vile than Osama, the Wolfman, and Bill O’Rielly combined. In short, watching this film and its hitman, I realized just how juicy that particular character composite is, the possibilities afforded to a performer inhabiting somebody with a broken moral compass fascinating to say the least. I won’t mention the name of the film now, as its hitman made the #1 spot, and there’s nine other worthy options to get through before the top choice is revealed. To be in contention on the list, the hitman in question had to be just that: a hitman. Thus, no revenge operators, weekend warriors, or “fixers” were allowed, the entrants below characterized in their respective films specifically as assassins (sorry Michael Caine, “Get Carter” was sweet, but you weren’t a hitman, per se).

Sadly, Marshall Bell’s Webster from “Twins” was excused, for while that guy had the spirit of his character down what with his insistence that nobody saw his face and that human life was cheaper than a gum wrapper, the dude had trouble running down Danny friggin’ DeVito. While I love the guy and what his Frank character has brought to “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” if a hitman has a hard time pursuing that troll of a man, he isn’t worthy to shine the shoes of the characters below, let alone stand proudly beside them. Sam Rockwell and Tom Cruise are also missing from the list, the former (”Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”) because his character was a mediocre killer at best, the latter (”Collateral”) because he’s still in timeout due to “Last Samurai”-related atrocities. Spader’s Lee got left out from “2 Days in the Valley” not because he wasn’t pretty damn awesome, but if a hitman can’t even kill is own girlfriend, he needs to go back to the drawing board (the same goes for Malkovich in “In the Line of Fire,” who couldn’t even kill his prey or a 70-year-old Clint Eastwood). As a technicality, all Terminators must likewise be excluded, for be it Arnie, Patrick, or that freaky hand-cannon bitch, all those assassins were machines, hence not technically hitMEN. Also, pretty much any of the women from the “Kill Bill” series would have made it in had the films dedicated more time to exploring just how awesome those broads were in the performance of their duties (not that the I’m judging). Lastly, Timothy Olyphant got left out not because his character wasn’t pretty damn skilled, but because his movie (”Hitman”) completely blew, and for this reason I could not stomach ranking that performance ahead of…

10. Pierce Brosnan in “The Matador” (2005)

Brosnan got a lot of justifiably positive reviews for his turn in this film, his portrayal of a shattered, insecure, broken villain going so far against typecast that his “Julian” operated as a veritable anti-Bond. The turning point for his character was an uncharacteristic moment of hesitation during a routine execution, a long-since discarded scrap of humanity resurfaced at the most inopportune possible moment. What he realized through the course of this film was that he had made a total separation from the ordinary, that he’d abandoned basic human connections and relationships in deference to his craft. Though such a transformation is often a necessary sacrifice when maintaining an international gun-for-hire business, the effects on one’s personal life as portrayed through Julian in The Matador were devastating. Drunk, lonely, and desperate to realize just one legitimate relationship in his life, Brosnan’s character first called what few numbers he had only to realize anybody who knew him was rightly terrified of him and wanted nothing to do with the guy. It then became clear that when strangers got to know him, they too wanted nothing but distance from the increasingly unbalanced assassin, well-intentioned though he may have been. Desperate for a friend, he practically took one hostage, harassing Greg Kinnear’s character “Danny” until an uneasy bond developed between the two men. The meeting and reluctant friendship was ultimately serendipitous, as Julian taught Danny how nasty the world truly was outside of stupid business deals and hotel cocktail lounges. Through Danny, Julian got his edge back, pulling the trigger on a contract after a little help from his new friend, the assistance of whom proved that Julian had indeed gained a shred of humanity through a legitimate connection. True, the bond was ultimately cemented through a joint-effort assassination, yet in Julian the audience got a real-deal, precision killer, albeit one with a few issues that needed ironing out. This is something the next entrant could certainly relate to, a man who went through his own mid-life crisis during the picture…

9. John Cusack in “Grosse Pointe Blank” (1997)

Like the previous hitman, though Cusack’s character in this movie possessed some serious assassination skills, the man was more than a little damaged due to his profession. Funny thing was, his character “Martin” was less concerned about the taxing aspects associated with his job and more about the woman he had stood up ten years earlier. Telling his shrink that if a person met him in a “business” sense, chances are they did something to deserve it, and thus Martin approached it as a professional and never wavered. Courted by a shadowy association of assassins looking to add his considerable chops to their business resume, it’s understandable why the guy was in such demand. Capable of hits at long (bicycle messenger), medium (hotel poison and run-down), and short range (hallway kung fu battle) Cusack’s character knew what the hell he was doing. Maybe his best moment was the climactic house finale, when he took on roughly half a dozen hitters single-handedly, double-fisting semi-automatics, a single frying pan, and big-tube T.V. during the contest. To take this demonstration of killing prowess over, say, the mini-mart gunfight might seem a bit hasty, but remember, Martin didn’t kill anybody during that showdown. True, he scored heavily for getting his ass out in one piece despite an ambush, and extra style points for the fact that the battle took place in a store (soon to explode as a finale) renovated from his childhood home, that the guy proposed at the end of a bloodbath in his beloved’s home has to take the cake. So for that awesome demonstration at the end of the film to save both his life, and his chances of true love, Martin gets a spot.

8. Karl Urban in “The Bourne Supremacy” (2004)

Karl Urban has been getting a lot of great ink (and deservedly so) for his most recent turn as Dr. “Bones” McCoy in the most recent Star Trek re-boot. It was his performance as “Eomir” in the second and third Lord of the Rings films that caught most of the movie-going public’s attention, his tough-as-nails cavalry commander coming through in a pinch more than once to get his ass into the action. It was because of this manly cred. that most sat up and took more than passing glance at the assassin tracking down Jason Bourne in the second installment of the Bourne trilogy, and a familiar looking face that, while evil this time around, still radiated a fourteen pound pair of balls. Showing the audience that he was a force to be reckoned with, the hitman was right on Bourne’s ass in India as the first act got going in The Bourne Supremacy, something that showed the assassin had some serious chops: anybody capable of getting a bead on Bourne not one to be screwed with. Shooting Bourne’s woman during a brisk high-speed chase right before sending the couple’s jeep careening into a river, Kirill understandably figured his foe for dead, pretty much the only mistake he made throughout the picture. Reappearing near the end of the second act to mop up the job, Urban’s character reemerged in Russia, actually managing to put a slug in Bourne before beginning one of the gnarliest high-speed chases ever caught on film. True, Bourne ultimately got the drop on him, and smashed the cock-sucker’s car to pieces, yet something pretty amazing happened after that: Bourne let him live! True, Kirill’s clock looked to be running pretty slow, if not already stopped, when Bourne neglected to give the coup de grace, yet the audience almost got the sense that Bourne respected the guy too much to put him down, his skills and capacities as a hitman too outstanding to waste with a bullet. Though Kirill had killed Jason’s woman when she was sitting right next to him and had fired a bullet into his back, even this couldn’t break the unshakable respect shown between expert killers. While Clive Owen’s hitter in the first installment or even Bourne himself could have easily made it onto this list, to pick one assassin out of the entire trilogy that embodied the steely-eyed precision of government operatives and not select Urban’s “Kirill” would be a crime.

7. Lee Van Cleef in “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” (1966)

Speaking of hard-dick assassins with no remorse and a frightful commitment to their craft, how could Van Cleef’s finest role get neglected? After going against type in For A Few Dollars More, Lee discarded the white protagonist hat for a darker shade, bringing a minimalist approach to a western archetype that had long since veered into near-comic ham-fistery. Showing the audience he was nothing if not professional, he killed “Stevens” at the beginning of the movie even after he’d learned about Carson’s gold, and even ate some of the guy’s dinner. Demonstrating from there that he was nothing if not an asshole, he went ahead and killed the guy who had contracted the Stevens hit, making sure nobody else would be going after a treasure only he had eyes for. Resourceful enough to hook up a non-com gig in the Army in order to facilitate his search, he showed that he was no slouch when it came to his skills, killing or maiming pretty much anybody who got in his way, and a few others that didn’t. As is often the case with special films and performances, what is most striking about Angel Eyes is what wasn’t seen. The audience must assume that since this guy was in position and ready at every turn, always on top of Blondie and Tuco no matter what path they followed, that this guy was one hell of an operator. On Tuco after the encounter with Carson, at the prison camp after he and Blondie had been captured, and appearing pretty much out of the ether at Sad Hill Cemetery, Angel Eyes was a deadly, persistent bastard, killed only because he met a slightly better man.

6. Richard Bright in “The Godfather,” et al 

There’s something to be said about some old-school Sicilian assassination shit, and that’s what you’re getting with Al Neri. To cheat a little and dive into his literary back story, this guy was a dude on the edge in the original novel, a cop prone to whipping the shit out of citizens with his large-handled flashlight. This kind of behavior got him divorced and thrown off the force and into the can, which is right where the Corleones found him. Putting Neri to work as a triggerman for the family, he quickly rose to the designated hitter spot within the ranks, acting as the go-to murderer and bodyguard for Michael after the boy-prodigy’s return from Italy. This is right about where The Godfather film picked up with his character, showing the guy at Michael’s hip after his return to the States, and in a policeman’s uniform gunning down Barzini during the famous baptism scene. In the second installment he rigged a brothel with a dead hooker to lock up Senator Geary’s loyalties early on, then went ahead and shot Fredo in the back of the head on orders. Most impressively, however, the guy had longevity in a business with a fairly short career-path. Still alive and kicking in Godfather III, Neri helped save Michael from helicopter assassins and even chipped in with the murder of an Archbishop at the end. Skilled beyond reproach, reliable, and loyal, this was one hell of a guy to have at the ready, willing to tow the line despite management fluctuations. Indeed, first to pledge his loyalty to Vincent after Michael had handed over power, Al showed that in a profession filled primarily with dickheads (see the previous entrant for evidence there), there were a few choice picks to be had. Indeed, when speaking of old-school sensibilities, and the embrace of a spotlight with little screen-time, how can we pass up…

5. Billy Connolly in “The Boondock Saints” (1999)

Getting in more for his mythic bad-assery and less because of his refined, polished, and flawless skills (hinted at, yet cruelly denied to the audience), dear old dad slips into contention because he perfectly embraced the power of the unknown. In the film, it was said that The Duke was brought in only three times over the course of twenty years, and only because “things were totally fucked.” A go-to man for the mafia, his particular skill involved killing those criminals who were most difficult to dispatch, that which was churned up in his wake seemingly more trouble than he was worth. Beyond this, and other subtle intimations like his handling when getting released from prison in a manner that would make Hannibal Lecter blush, the audience got the sense that this dude meant business in the old-school, Biblical sense. Going absolutely Josey Wales when off his leash, Il Duce went into battle with not just one or two guns, but six! Facing a trio of guys in this stand-off, he came out alive, wounding all three of his prey (a noteworthy achievement considering at least two of those individuals had God-Almighty personally protecting their asses). At the end, he helped engineer a hit against a known Mafioso on trial, successfully moving his crew in and out of an active courtroom while still getting the job leisurely done. What is most impressive, however, is what the man spawned, for truly, this guy had “hitman” coursing through his genes, his progeny as deadly a pair of killers as any that might be found on this list or elsewhere. Composed of a manly back story, admirable skills, a solid blood-line, and a steely resolve, the man certainly cast a long shadow over possible entrants on this list, failing to beat out the remaining characters only because of a shamefully low kill-count. Still, because he made even the scariest men in the film tremble, and because his presence was less associated with a man and more with a force of nature, Il Duce gets a nod.

4. Bruce Willis in “The Jackal” (1997)

This one would have made it higher than even this coveted spot had the assassin in question not been trapped in so shitty a movie. Indeed, while I have nothing against Richard Gere, the man has no business trying to cobble together an Irish accent, just as the director of this disaster, Michael Caton-Jones, has no business making films (his most recent contribution to cinema was Basic Instinct 2). The thing is, this was actually one hell of a slick hitman, Bruce Willis’ “Jackal” demonstrating many of the finest qualities associated with a professional murderer throughout this film. A master of disguise and obfuscation, The Jackal never kept one look for too terribly long, constantly changing his appearance in ways that didn’t just hide the fact that Bruce Willis is bald. Totally committed to his project, The Jackal never hesitated to kill anybody who got in his way. Along with his dismembering of poor Jack Black from over 50 yards out with a mounted automatic cannon, he also tortured a woman liver-shot for no other real reason than to prove he wasn’t to be fucked with. Hired to kill a high-level American personality to avenge the death of a Russian crime boss’ sibling, The Jackal immediately went to work setting up multiple covers in a number of different countries, employing stealth, cunning, savagery, and balls in his quest to take out the First Lady. Asshole that he was for such a move, the film allowed him to get close, ending his run in a subway with a hostage at the end, a confused-looking Richard Gere standing over his foe, almost certainly wondering how a guy who had played “Hudson Hawk” had stolen the best role of the film from him. It’s because he ultimately failed in his task and got smoked that The Jackal didn’t get higher consideration, for while the guy certainly knew his shit when it came to staying under the radar, employing sneaky espionage practices, and constructing sweet-ass machine guns, if a hitman can’t ultimately get the job done, how could one place him higher than say…

3. Jean Reno in “The Professional,” or “Leon” (1994)

You’re going to have to get up pretty early in the morning to get over on this guy, the two entries that beat him out in their respective places on this list not necessarily there because they were better, but because…well, more on that in a bit. With “Leon,” however, you’ve got the consummate professional, hence the title of the 1994 film. Set like a timer into his methodical routines, it is only by staying perfectly tuned and prepared that he achieved success in hit after hit. Though one might argue that the introduction of Matilda into his life brought him just that, a life, what one can’t argue is the steep decline in his job performance after he got a roommate. But while a pinch of humanity and a dash of purpose dulled his skills, they certainly didn’t annihilate them. After eliminating a squad of drug dealers and corrupt cops, he went on to single-handedly take on (and beat) several SWAT teams and “EVERYONE!!!!” associated with law enforcement in his particular neighborhood. Quick on his feet, resourceful, one hell of a shot, and of a perfect mind-set for assassinations (prior to the realization that he had an operational soul, that is) Leon was a tough customer to beat. Yet it’s because the audience got to know Leon so well that he did not achieve truly epic status and consideration. In the next entrant, as well as the last to follow, again, what was most striking and terrifying about the characters was not their actions and what you knew about them, but what they’d done and the seeming lack of purpose both in the murders and those perpetrating them.

2. Toshiro Mifune in “Incident at Blood Pass,”or “Machibuse” (1970)

Mifune was so friggin’ hard in this movie he made granite look like mashed potatoes. His seminal “man with no name” character returned one last time in this film about an elaborate double and triple-cross at a mountain cross-roads during Japan’s Edo period. The film started with Mifune’s familiar Yojimbo character receiving instructions about his next hit, getting orders to simply head to the top of a pass and wait for the action to come to him (he and the audience never have any doubt that it would). From here, Mifune’s character got caught in a series of intrigues at a small inn and tea house, cautiously surveying a situation that was slowly spiraling out of control. At first thought to be there in order to help hijack a gold shipment, Mifune’s Ronin character realized he’d been inserted into the drama to help facilitate a sneaky back-stab, his honor as a samurai put into question as a result. Totally confident, in control, and capable of slicing everybody he encountered into pieces small enough to fit through the top of a salt shaker, his hitman ultimately sacrificed duty for honor, protecting the innocent at the betrayal of his employer. What followed was a revenge-inspired finale whereby Mifune’s samurai character clean-cut and diced almost half a dozen guys in the course of maybe sixty seconds. What is most striking about this action was that it was withheld from the audience until the last few minutes of the film, Mifune’s very presence, stature, and posture throughout the previous 100 or so minutes inspiring all around him to stay the hell away. Indeed, there’s something to be said about a hitman who is so goddamned tough that his or her mere presence alludes to a danger lurking not far beneath the surface, everyone around them giving a wide berth without being told to. Without guns, arrows, explosives, disguises, or any real attempt to hide what he was, this Yojimbo character still got his job done (well, sorta, he did kill a whole bunch of fools), kicking ass, taking names, and looking as cool as shit in the process. While pretty damn awesome, he just barely missed out on the #1 spot, something reserved for the character who inspired a list (and some nightmares …)

1. Javier Bardem in “No Country For Old Men” (2007)

After the Oscars, all the critical acclaim, the box office revenues, and the positive word of mouth, it seems almost trite to heap another log on this film’s fire. Much has already been said about Mr. Bardem’s terrifying performance as “Anton Chigurh,” Roger Ebert perhaps getting the closest when he said that everybody else in the movie simply operated as a conditional reaction to Bardem’s character. Indeed, Chigurh’s disposition was such that everybody in his universe bent because of his presence, the innocent and guilty often falling victim to his principled reality simply because they were unlucky enough to cross his path. In Chigurh’s signature prop, the coin, this was represented most clearly, for be it a gas station attendant, highway patrolman, or marked contract in possession of $2 million in drug money: if you were face to face with this guy, he assumed you were just as likely to die as to live. Having unconditionally embraced his station in life, Chigurh operated in a manner that allowed for the least amount of confusion. Being a killer, if you met him, fate would have it that you should die. Being a killer, if you met him and you had in any way pissed him off or lined yourself up so that he was after you, then you would, without any question, die. As Bardem’s character explained to Harrelson’s, while he was often told “you don’t have to do this” when staring down his prey, to the shadowy assassin, nothing could be further from the truth. A killer in the most pure and honest sense of the word, the situation was quite the opposite: when about to pounce on his victim he did “have” to do it. Lions roar, monkeys throw shit, dogs bark and killers kill. Almost mythically endowed with talent and a skill to seemingly slink out of a tight spot via the shadows, Chigurh was not only an impossible-to-shake hitman, but the most honest, pure, undiluted assassin on this list or in film history. Totally committed to his purpose in life to the point that he felt compelled to kill nearly everybody fate threw in his path, the man came full circle, going from human, to monster, and back to human again, his brain void of reasoning beyond that which was needed to pull a trigger or flip a coin.

Tags: best, coolest, film, hitmen, list, movie, movies, ten, top, TOP 10 MOVIE HITMEN, top ten

Even if you haven’t seen a movie about psychic Jedi warriors in the United States Army who kill goats with their mind, you may come out of “The Men Who Stare at Goats” thinking that you’ve seen a lot of it before.

George Clooney stars in this adaptation of Jon Ronson’s non-fiction book and Grant Heslov, his producing/writing partner from “Good Night and Good Luck,” takes the director’s chair for the first time. Where Clooney exhibited measured control directing “Good Night,” though, Heslov is all over the map with “Goats.”

The movie can’t quite make up its mind about what it wants to be: a silly farce, a character drama, a military satire, a supernatural story, or the personal journey of a humiliated cuckold. This wouldn’t be a problem if it did all of things well and found a through-line, but “The Men Who Stare at Goats” doesn’t do that. Instead, it’s a random string of gags and scenes (some that work well, some that don’t) that all somehow ring familiar. What the film is lucky to have is an excellent cast that seems game for anything.

The cuckold’s tale

Ewan McGregor plays Bob Wilton, the reporter who stumbles onto the story of the First Earth Battalion around the same time his wife leaves him for a one-armed man. His discoveries about a New Age branch of the Army headed by long-haired Vietnam vet Bill Django (Jeff Bridges) should be enough to get him interested, but instead it’s being dumped that gets him to Iraq, talking quite coincidentally to Django’s star pupil, Lyn Cassady (Clooney). His backstory seems forced from the get-go, but when the absurdities of the situation start piling up, it’s easier to forgive.

Silly farce

From there, the movie has a lot of fun filling in the details of this psi-ops Army division. Few actors today can do furious deadpan delivery like Clooney, but some of the stuff he has to convey is so preposterous that when the film asks you to believe in its characters, it’s just impossible. The exception: Bridges is quite sympathetic as a man who’s faith and hope are always teetering on collapse. On the level of farce, however, the film works for a good hour or so.

Military satire

The suggestion that the Army would pursue psychic exploration—and put up with a flower-carrying troop that stands for everything contrary to Army policy—for the sole reason of weaponizing it, is pretty funny. Screenwriter Peter Straughan gets a lot of mileage out of the notion, hoisting awkward notions of peace right up there against men in military outfits who start behaving strangely. But just when the movie feels as if it ought to be getting somewhere comes the sad realization that it has actually begun to wind down.

Character drama?

When all the characters from this flashback-riddled and disjointed movie finally converge, it’s the biggest letdown of the film. All the possibilities that the script hinted at earlier are unwisely scuttled for a lame escape attempt with no real consequence or purpose. It’s hard to get involved in the characters’ plight, especially when the road that they take is so arbitrary all of a sudden.

Supernatural story

Kevin Spacey plays a career-minded psychic warrior who brings unwanted change into the New Earth Army and therefore confirms our suspicions that all of this mind-literally-over-matter stuff is hogwash. Or is it? “The Men Who Stare at Goats” has an unconvincing and unfunny ending that wants to have it both ways, but just comes off as pandering.

The movie is uneven for sure and ludicrous in conceit, but that’s not to say that it isn’t entertaining at times. McGregor is saddled with a tiresome everyman role, but Spacey, Clooney, and especially Bridges make some of their scenes work better than they should. If only Heslov had been able to make a cohesive film out it …

Tags: 2009, clooney, film, goats, movie, movie review, review, The Men Who Stare at Goats

Mira Nair’s biopic of groundbreaking aviator Amelia Earhart has many components working in its favor. It’s got Oscar-winner Hilary Swank in the title role, supporting performances from Richard Gere and Ewan McGregor, cinematography that ranges from elegant to breathtaking, and a really thorough sense of time and place. And yet it never quite pulls itself together.

The film is competent and solid but there’s little consequence. It suffers from the same problem Michael Mann’s “Public Enemies” did earlier this year, in that it exchanges what could have been a gripping examination of an historical figure for a stylistic retelling of key events in said figure’s life.

While the level of detachment in “Public Enemies” was reasonable considering its central character’s line of work and its director’s brand of storytelling, “Amelia” lacks these excuses and unwisely keeps the viewer at arm’s length.

The screenplay (by Ron Bass and Anna Hamilton Phelan) glosses over the entire formative period of Earhart’s life and tries to compensate for this by giving us poetic tidbits about the glory of flight in Swank’s voice-over narration. This isn’t wholly ineffective, but it’s a far cry from the resonance that would’ve been added had Nair and her writers shown us the development of Earhart’s passion for aeronautics from its infancy to its fullest realization.

What keeps things emotionally afloat is Amelia’s romance with George Putnam (Gere). It’s an honest, loving, imperfect relationship and while their exchanges as written are never anything profound, the two actors are good enough to smooth things over with a lot of sincerity. That’s not to say the dialogue is jarringly awful; it’s just somewhat stilted at times. Ewan McGregor has a nice turn as Eugene Vidal, the West Point pilot instructor with whom Earhart had a small affair - the details of which are left fairly ambiguous and whose repercussions are almost void.

Stuart Dryburgh’s cinematography is actually really impressive, capturing transcendent aerial views of planes immersed in cloudscapes hovering over mountain ranges and beneath the expanse of the firmament, but it’s hard to tell how much of that is justly attributable to him and not the art, special effects and visual effects departments. There’s a nice variety to the ground visuals, though, as Earhart travels around the globe, flying above jungles and deserts and sojourning in various locations.

All in all, the technical excellence of the film doesn’t serve a greater emotional purpose. The performances are strong, the relationships are well established, and the filmmaking itself is pretty impressive.

But I never really got to know Amelia. She mentions her father’s alcoholism in passing and we can infer that this stimulates her fervent desire to escape in some way, but it’s not enough to justify what was ultimately a self-destructive way of life. Because of this disconnect, we are only impacted by Amelia’s fate vicariously through her husband, George Putnam, and never on our own terms.

For a film that has little problem with sentimentality, it should’ve dug deeper in its story and relied less on sweeping orchestrations to affect its audience.

Tags: 2009, amelia, amelia movie review, film, movie, review

I’m pretty sure Ed Wood would have loved “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant“. Messy, flawed, riddled with odd choices and questionable casting, and stuck with a plot that make less sense as it progresses, The Vampire’s Assistant is in every way a B-movie. And, I’ll admit, I kinda liked it.

Based on a series of novels by Darren Shan, the film’s main plot revolves around a rather bland high school student, Darren (Chris Massoglia), and his more rambunctious best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson), whose main purpose it seems is to get Darren into as much trouble as possible.

A night out takes the pair to a freak show where events unfold that lead Darren into an agreement with vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) in order to save his friend. Leaving behind his life, Darren becomes part vampire, and begins his new life in the Cirque du Freak as Crepsley’s assistant.

There’s quite a bit else that occurs in the movie concerning Darren, Steve, the mysterious Mr. Tiny (Michael Cerveris), the war between vampires (those who feed on but don’t kill humans) and the vampanese (those who, well, leave bloody messes in their wake). Not all of it makes sense, in fact much of it seems little more than convoluted nonsense to keep the story moving to its final big showdown.

When the film attempts to try and make sense of its plot, it fails spectacularly. However, when the film lets Darren’s story unfold as he discovers the new world around him … well, it doesn’t quite succeed, but it puts on a good show.

I also found the script’s rather flippant take on vampire lore amusing. “Can I turn into a bat?” Darren asks, “No, that’s bullshit.” his new mentor replies. Realizing that the material they’re working with isn’t exactly Shakespeare, no one takes things too seriously. The result is an amusing little train wreck that doesn’t leave too much carnage in its wake.

Although the main role of Darren is hopelessly miscast (and the best friend isn’t that much better) there are some nice supporting performances. Reilly is fun to watch as something far removed from your average movie vampire, and Salma Hayek works quite well as his bearded lady girlfriend (even if the part did remind me a little too much of HBO’s “Carnivale”).

Patrick Fugit is near unrecognizable as Snake Boy, and, although her character isn’t handled as well as I’d like, Jessica Carlson adds a little spark to the second half of the film.

“Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant” is deeply flawed. The film is a mess and certainly not for everyone. And even if it doesn’t make a helluva lot of sense, it didn’t bore me (an offense I’d be much less willing to forgive). The right audience–and you know who you are–should be able to find a hour or two of enjoyment out of this strange little movie. Just keep your expectations low and think of Ed Wood before the titles start to roll.

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This list comes to us from Sean O’Connell, a New York City-based writer who has also contributed Top 10 Worst Movie Husbands, Top 10 Movie Rain Scenes and  Top 10 Movie Brothers to Scene-Stealers. Now he’s got a great list of awful movie neighbors for us. If you have a Top 10 you’d like to contribute, email me at eric@scene-stealers.com. Here’s Sean:

I would have to say I probably live on the greatest block ever. It has the ultimate small town feel to it, and what makes this possible is great neighbors. The neighbors I have are amazing because you can borrow a hammer from them and they can borrow a cup of milk from you. Every morning when you wake up there is a smiling face to great you as you head off to work and summers are filled with backyard BBQs. Unfortunately though for every two great neighbors you have, there are always the bad ones that pop up. In my case, they live across the street. Every morning the screaming and yelling wakes me up like an alarm clock, their dog craps in my yard, and they steal my kid’s toys from the front of my house when I am not looking. The police make more visits to their house than the mailman does. Needless to say, they drive me crazy and I always complain to my aunt (who also lives on the same block) about it all the time. She said to me the other day, “Sean, aren’t there a lot of bad neighbors portrayed in the movies?” This got me thinking … Yes. there have been a fair share of bad neighbors over the years on the silver screen. I have to offer my apologies to Ben Tuthill, the neighbor from “Poltergeist,” who just missed the cut. Why wouldn’t he just let the Freelings watch the football game? Thank you to my Aunt Denise and my annoying neighbors for giving me the inspiration to write the Top 10 Worst Movie Neighbors of all time.

10. Sid Phillips - Toy Story (1995)

Being a bad neighbor doesn’t just apply to those who are annoying to humans. The villain in this Pixar classic is a 10-year-old boy Sid (Eric Von Detton). While he never seems to bother Andy or his family at any point, he does terrorize toys. This is something that Woody (Tom Hanks) is constantly vigilant against. All of Andy’s toys are aware of this vicious neighbor who was kicked out of summer camp, as Rex tells Buzz (Tim Allen) “He tortures toys just for fun!” It seems that a dog accompanies most bad neighbors, and the furry pest in this case is Scud. He is known to eat toys on command from his leader. The whole second half of the movie deals with heroes Woody and Buzz trying to escape from Sid’s house of horrors. Sid gets his in the end as the toys come to life in his backyard moments before he launches Buzz into space on a rocket. I often wondered what happened to Sid after that, I mean that kid had to be in therapy for years. I’m still creeped out by Woody saying “We toys can see EVERYTHING!, so play nice!”

9. The Bumpuses – A Christmas Story (1983)

Like I wrote in the previous entry, bad neighbors usually come with dogs, and nothing is truer of the Parkers’ hillbilly neighbors the Bumpuses. They actually owned 785 smelly hound dogs that apparently ignored every other human being on earth other than Mr. Parker (Darren McGavin). They attack the poor man every day when he comes home from work. Where are these damn hillbillies anyway? Do they really not care that their awful dogs are physically assaulting another person? The worst comes on Christmas morning as the dogs come crashing in at just the mere smell of turkey. So basically you can’t have a decent meal with your family if you live next door to these fools because their dogs will literally crash the party. The only good thing that came out of this disaster was that the Parkers were introduced to Chinese turkey. I really have to give Mr. Parker credit on the way he dealt with his neighbors. He never confronted them or called the cops. He just yelled, “Son of bitches! Bumpuses!” and close the door on one of the dog’s ears. If those dogs had attacked me, destroyed my house and the Bumpuses made no attempt to fix it, well I would have grabbed Ralphie’s Red Rider BB gun and started picking off the smelly hounds one by one.

8. The Griswolds – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

The third entry on the list, and second Christmas movie, was a hard one for me to put down. Mainly because I love the Griswolds and they may be one of my favorite movie families of all time. I just asked myself one question to prove a point to myself: Would I want to live next to them? The answer was no. Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is so obsessed with the holidays that he puts just about every Christmas light in the state of Illinois on his house. When he has his grand unveiling he blinds his yuppie neighbors, Todd and Margo Chester (Nicholas Guest and Julia Louis-Dreyfus). Then the Griswolds invite all their extended family members over for the holiday, Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) and his Winnebago full of trashy family members and Snots the Dog tag along. So the Chesters are forced to see Cousin Eddie empty his toilet into the sewer system. I know we only see Clark viewing, but I am sure they saw it as well. Would you like to wake up to that sight? The Chesters house is also destroyed when Clark cuts down his Christmas tree, and he shoots icicles from his gutters into their living room window. Then the ultimate catastrophe happens to the Chesters after Christmas is interrupted by a crazed squirrel who is chased by Snots the dog. The squirrel and Snots attack poor Margo, who was finally going to stand up to the Griswolds.

7. Cheech & Chong – Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie (1980)

I have to start by saying that Mr. Neatnik (Sy Kramer) should have realized that living next to Cheech (Cheech Marin) and Chong (Thomas Chong) was going to be a lost cause. The state of the house rivaled the the “Animal House” Delta House. It was covered with dirt and had boarded up windows. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Chong decides that he needs to play his guitar so loud that it actually creates noise pollution and breaks the windows of Mr. Neatnik’s house as he tries to give piano lessons. Then Cheech and Chong decide to borrow Mr. Neatnik’s car without asking, of course. When they run out of gas they fill it up with gasoline from a trashcan. This leads to the blowing up of Mr. Neatnik’s car. Cheech and Chong do what any bad neighbor would do, return the car as if nothing happened. When Mr. Neatnik does stand up for himself he just gets ignored for his efforts. Oh yeah, Cheech also mistakenly pees on his head.

6. Vic & Ramona – Neighbors (1981)

It seems like the 80s were filled with movies that dealt with bad neighbors. In this case, we are dealing with Vic (Dan Aykroyd) and Ramona (Cathy Moriarty) who move in to their house in the middle of the night next to Earl and Enid Keese (John Belushi & Kathryn Walker). Vic is constant liar, which is proven by his story of his home made sauce (which comes from a jar) and the spaghetti that he bought from a fancy Italian restaurant called Ceasar’s Garlic Wars, which is a small spaghetti and wine dealership at Valley Field Mall on Route 3, next to the Cinema Cineplex and the Singer Sewing Center. The restaurant doesn’t exist and Vic made the spaghetti himself. Then Vic decides to eat Earl’s daughter’s edible panties, which leads to Earl punching out Vic. Ramona, on the other hand, is constantly trying to seduce Earl–and when she finally does succeed, she blackmails him. At one point when Earl sneaks out to meet Ramona, Vic is waiting on the roof of his car wearing scuba gear. These particular neighbors turn poor suburbanite Earl’s life upside down. His own family starts to side with Vic and Ramona over him. When Earl finally decides to get revenge on Vic by driving his car into the swamp, it backfires. Vic tells him that their baby is in the truck. It turns out that baby is the dog (see what I mean about bad neighbors and their dogs) and he is not in the truck. I never really understood the end of the movie. SPOILER: Why does Earl decide to destroy his house and run away with these wackos? I guess he thought that they were such bad neighbors that he would spend the rest of his life with them. An interesting bit of trivia, Belushi was originally supposed to portray Vic and Aykroyd was to be Earl. They decided to switch weeks before filming and act against type.

5. Jerry Dandridge – Fright Night (1985)

As Cliff Clavin would say, “Another 80’s movie, another bad neighbor. What’s up with that?” The culprit this time is Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon), just your typical run of the mill vampire that feasts on prostitutes. Dandridge moves in to his house in the middle of the night next door to the Brewsters with the help of what appears to be his live-in male companion, Billy Cole. Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale) one day just happens to be looking out his window, instead of at his half-naked girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse), and sees Dandridge sucking blood from a lady of the night. Of course Charley does not have sex with Amy, rather he becomes obsessed with the fact that there is a vampire living next door. His mom decides to invite Dandridge over for dinner, mainly because she has the hots for him. This act has now broken rule #32 on the list of Vampire Don’ts: Don’t invite a vampire into your house because now he can come over when ever he wants. The fact that he would come over now whenever he wants without asking by itself makes for a bad neighbor, regardless of the fact he is a vampire. Anyway, Dandrige does pop in at the Brewsters’ house, wrecks Charley’s room, and threatens to kill him. Then he goes outside and crashes Charley’s car. He turns Charley’s friend Evil Ed Thompson into a vampire and steals Amy away, and turns her into a vampire. SPOILER: Charley does get the last laugh as he and the Great Vampire Killer Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowell) kill Mr. Jerry Dandridge and save Amy. Although personally I would have let her die as well because she was annoying and would only grow up to become Marcie Rhodes from “Married with Children.”

4. The Langs – Arlington Road (1999)

Michael Faraday (Jeff Bridges) is just a normal college history professor who teaches a class on terrorism at George Washington University. He is a widow (his FBI agent wife died in an explosion) and raises his nine year old son Grant. He has a new girlfriend Brooke (Hope Davis) and everything seems to be finally getting back to normal for Michael. Then one day the new neighbor’s kid is injured in a reported fireworks accident. Michael rushes him to the emergency room, which sets up his first encounter with his new neighbors Oliver (Tim Robbins) & Cheryl (Joan Cusack). Michael slowly starts to suspect his neighbors of being terrorists. Haven’t we all thought that about our neighbors from time to time? Nobody believes him and they think that he is paranoid. His girlfriend Brooke decides one day to trail Oliver’s car and witnesses a suspicious package delivery in a garage. Brooke calls Michael & tells him she finally believes him, only to turn around and see Cheryl standing there. Brooke is found dead and the messages she left for Michael are erased. Then the Langs kidnap Grant, under the guise of a Scout camping trip. Once again, don’t all neighbors kidnap their kids? Is that wrong? Michael rents a car and follows a van that he believes his son is being held captive in. SPOILER: The van eventually reaches FBI headquarters and Michael rips open the back door of the van to find not his son but a bomb. There is an explosion and Michael, along with 184 people, are killed. Grant is sent to live with relatives, Michael is villified in the press as a terrorist, and the Langs get away. They staked Michael out from the beginning just to set him up as the fall guy and–oh yeah–kill his girlfriend and forever ruin the image of him in his son’s eyes. They rightfully deserve the number-four spot.

3. Lars Thorwald – Rear Window (1954)

This was another tough one for me as well, mainly because I really don’t know who the bad neighbor is. L. B. “Jeff” Jeffries (Jimmy Stewart) is a photographer who is recovering from a broken leg. He is confined to his apartment in a wheelchair and is slowly going crazy from the boredom. So instead of spending time with his amazingly beautiful girlfriend Lisa (Grace Kelly), he decides to pass the hours by spying on his neighbors through the lens of his camera. Really Jeff? Grace Kelly worships the ground you walk (I mean roll) on and you would rather look at lonely women, a songwriter, some married couples, and a salesman? If it weren’t for Lars Thorwald (Raymond Burr) the salesman, it would be Jeff’s name on this list. It turns out Lars lives with his bedridden wife who one day just magically disappears. Jeff sees Lars cleaning a knife and a handsaw, tying a large packing crate with heavy rope, making late-night trips carrying a large case. Jeff is convinced that Lars killed his wife and being the good brave boyfriend that he is, he sends Lisa over there with a note saying “What have you done with her?” (SPOILER) A neighbor’s dog starts poking around in the garden where the wife’s body may or may not be buried, So Lars decides to break the dog’s neck. Lars catches Lisa in his apartment, attempts to rough her up, but the police arrive just in time. Lars looks across the courtyard to realize that Jeff is the one sending notes and calling the police. Lars breaks in to Jeff’s apartment and throws him out the window. Good thing their was a group of cops standing there to break his fall. So Lars just ekes out Jeff as the bad neighbor because he killed his wife, then a dog, tried to beat up Grace Kelly, and threw an invalid out the window. Way to go, Lars!

2. Ray Peterson, Mark Rumsfield, Art Weingartner, Ricky Butler, and the Klopeks – The ‘Burbs (1989)

This movie is a cinematic study the behavior of bad neighbors. I had to include everyone on this list because they all have their own awful moments; there is no neighborly love here. It turns out one day the Klopeks just arrive on this somewhat peaceful street in the on Mayfield Place in suburban Hinckley Hills, Iowa. No one ever sees a moving truck and the Klopeks keep to themselves. Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) is a stressed out husband and father who decides he needs to have a stay-cation (that’s a vacation at home). He is being constantly badgered by his annoying neighbors Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun), Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), and teenager Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman). Art and Mark believe the Klopeks to be mass murders because they are so reclusive. The only time anyone sees them is at night digging in their backyard. Then the old man up the block, Walter Seznick, disappears one day leaving behind only his toupee and his dog, Queenie. Art is convinced that an old man would never leave his toupee behind and is convinced the Klopeks killed him. Then Ray’s dog digs up a human femur bone in the backyard, which they start to believe belongs to Walt. Ray is finally convinced that they should break in to Klopeks’ house and search for the dead bodies. Throughout the movie each neighbor does awful things like dumping garbage in the street, shorting out the electrical lines, throwing loud parties with obnoxious friends, breaking and entering, destruction of property, shooting off live ammunition, and of course (SPOILER) accidentally breaking the gas line in the Klopeks’ house and blowing it up. At the end of the movie, it starts to look like the Klopeks are innocent. Walter had a heart attack and moved in with family. The Klopeks were taking in his mail and that is why they had his toupee. The police arrive with the Klopeks and want to arrest Ray. Ray then flips out on Art screaming “We’re the lunatics, not them!” So as Ray is being taken to the hospital for fire burns, Dr. Klopek (Henry Gibson) pays a visit to him in the ambulance. It seems the doctor believes that Ray saw the skull of the former owner of the house in the furnace. A fight ensues as Dr. Klopek attempts to kill Ray. The Klopeks steal the ambulance and try to drive away. They fail and crash into their own car. The trunk pops open to reveal a collection of bones, proving that the Klopeks were mass murders all along. That has to be the worst street ever.

1. Minnie & Roman Castevet – Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

To me, this one just seemed like a no-brainer. Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) is a young wife who just moved into a beautiful New York City apartment building called the Bramford with her struggling actor husband Guy (John Cassavetes). The Bramford is known for some weird events and bizarre tenants over the years. Rosemary’s neighbors are a seemingly harmless old couple named Minnie (Ruth Gordon) and Roman Castevet (Sidney Blackmer). It turns out that this elderly couple is not harmless at all, rather, they are devil worshipers and part of a coven. They have a master plan to bring the son of Satan to life by mating the devil and an unsuspecting spouse. Their first choice takes a header off the building, which leaves them to turn to Rosemary. The Castevets spend a lot of time with Guy, convincing him his career will take off if he agrees to give up his first born. SPOILER: The great husband that he is (by the way, you should see my Top 10 list on bad movie husbands), he agrees to let Satan rape his wife. Minnie makes a chocolate mousse for the Woodhouses to eat on the night they decide to conceive a baby. Rosemary finds that the mousse has a chalky under taste and throws it away after a few bites. Minnie had actually drugged Rosemary in order to carry out her master plan. Rosemary does get impregnated and is talked out of seeing her obstetrician to see Dr. Saperstein instead, who turns out (you guessed it) to be part of the coven. Rosemary is having a difficult pregnancy, and wouldn’t you if you were carrying the spawn of Satan? Rosemary eventually discovers that her neighbors are part of a cult and that Roman is the son of a famed Satan worshiper. The Castevets decide to induce labor, and convince Rosemary the baby died upon delivery. She hears the cries of a baby from her room and follows the sounds. They eventually lead her to the coven and Minnie convinces her to be the mother of the son of Satan. If you ask me, I would take my whacked-out neighbors over Minnie any day and I will never accept chocolate mousse from a neighbor again. Ruth Gordon (”Harold and Maude”) received a well deserved Best Supporting Actress Award for her turn as Minnie.

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Eric’s castmate on VH1’s World Series of Pop Culture, Robert Bishop from Wocka Wocka, joins him for a review of “Where the Wild Things Are.” Spike Jonze directed the movie, which is adapted by Dave Eggers from the classic kids book by Maurice Sendak. Find out whether “Where the Wild Things Are” the movie is for kids or not.

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Eric welcomes Trevan McGee from Inkkc.com back as guest host as they review the new horror comedy “Zombieland,” starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abagail Breslin. It’s a weird mix of a Judd Apatow romantic comedy where the geeky guy tries to get the hot girl and an action-buddy road movie, mixed in with some serious zombie ass-kicking.

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The timing is right. The entire world is struggling to find its way out of a recession. Middle America is pissed off and broke. U.S. unemployment is soaring and the economic meltdown continues. So along comes the provocateur filmmaker who has spent the last 20 years raging against the machine, and he’s aiming at a big, big target—the very economic system that his country is based on.

Michael Moore’s new documentary “Capitalism: A Love Story” may be a bit scattershot and it may employ many familiar tricks, but it’s nothing if not a challenging and personal movie from one of the most polarizing figures in politics today.

He calls himself a populist, but sometimes you have to wonder. Why—you may ask—didn’t Moore go for a smaller, less controversial prey? With President Obama being called a “socialist” at every turn and that word being villainized the way it is in the mainstream media right now, why didn’t he use his ample storytelling and heartstring-tugging skills to rally film audiences around a less contentious idea?

Well, if you think about it, Moore has always shot for the moon. “Bowling for Columbine” was not a documentary about gun control—it questioned the fascination our country has with guns and asks what that leads to. “Fahrenheit 9/11” didn’t only try to bring down a sitting President—it highlighted a culture of fear. “Sicko” didn’t just find flaws in the American health care system—it challenged viewers to re-examine what it means to be a citizen and have your country protect you.

Moore has always gone for the big picture; always tried to re-frame the argument. And to some extent, the buttons he pushes get people to talk. Many of the issues brought up in his movies have gradually seeped into the collective consciousness. Will the thesis of this movie do the same thing? Only time will tell.

His argument this time is simple. Capitalism is broken. Not only does it not work, but it’s immoral, anti-Democratic, and anti-American. From the start, he goes for the throat. He shows an old film of life in ancient Rome and while the dated voice-over talks about the fall of the Roman Empire, he cuts in images of modern America. There he goes alienating people again. His trademark sledgehammer style is certainly off-putting at times, but after watching the rest of the movie, it’s hard not to see the similarities.

The movie plays like a bookend to 1989’s “Roger and Me,” where he documented the decimation of his blue-collar hometown of Flint, Mich. after the closing of a GM plant. Things have only gotten worse since then. Moore is focusing his anger on the growing divide between the rich and the poor in America, as he again follows families that are being evicted from their homes.

He highlights “dead peasant” policies, an ugly life insurance practice that gives employers huge payouts when their workers die, while nothing goes to the family. He uncovers politicians who were given special refinancing deals by the same company that was capitalizing on sub-prime mortgage deals. He traces prominent banking executives who were appointed to Presidential cabinets and traces them back again to the private sector as they maneuver to increase their already obnoxious wealth at the expense of others.

This kind of rampant greed has stampeded out of control for quite some time, Moore says, and he traces its roots back to the Reagan administration’s heady de-regulation days. As big business got in bed with more politicians, the government opened the floodgates on the ways that corporations could make money exponentially and make sure that it was not against the law.

This is a subject Moore is quite passionate about. By tracing his family’s roots back to an embattled worker’s strike in the 1930s and conversing with his father about the work ethic and pride that employees at the GM plant were instilled with back in the 70s, Moore really does spotlight how things have changed since then. He recalls a time when capitalism held the promise that everyone, if they worked hard enough, might someday share in some of the wealth. Juxtaposed with the cynical climate of today and the staggering statistic that the richest one percent of the country makes more than the other 99 percent combined, it’s easy to be nostalgic.

I like that Moore takes historical perspectives to remind everyone that what you think our country is now may not resemble what it was in the past. On a trip to Washington, D.C. this August, I again visited the Lincoln Memorial and it was striking to read the thoughtful, philosophical prose of a President who today seems a hundred times more liberal and progressive than I remembered.

So in the movie when a sickly Franklin Roosevelt appeared in a 1944 address to call for a “second bill of rights,” I was reminded of the courage it takes to stand up for “big picture” ideals that may not be popular at the time. When Jimmy Carter appeared with an altogether harsher tone in a TV address that condemned the greed and materialism that he saw in our society, I thought the same thing.

I’m still not quite sure what Wallace Shawn (“The Princess Bride”) was doing in the picture as a talking head and I’ve seen enough of Moore’s stunts (such as putting yellow crime scene tape around banks and asking for the bailout money back) on the previews. On the other hand, so much of the information in the movie is so depressing that these moments were fairly welcome just for their lighthearted tone.

Connecting the dots between all this fascinating and frustrating material isn’t easy, and sometimes it seems like a 360-degree turn. Moore is on solid ground, however, towards the end of the film when he spotlights one factory in Chicago that fought back after told they were being fired and subsequently not paid for hours already worked. The single most inspiring moment in the movie comes during these events, and it’s good timing; it’s a call to arms.

Love or hate his tone and his methods, Moore is a gifted filmmaker who isn’t afraid to say exactly what he feels. He loves his country and—in his words—he’s not leaving. If he rubs you the wrong way sometimes, then we are in the same boat. But his idealism and refusal to back down to injustices he perceives are inspiring. But it’s not from him that I derive my greatest hope. For all the awful mistreatment of people in “Capitalism: A Love Story,” it’s hard not to be somewhat optimistic when you see what everyday people are capable of when they rally together.

Footnote: FDR’s 1944 speech called for the “right” to “adequate medical care,” “a useful and remunerative job,” “a decent home,” “a good education,” “adequate food and clothing and recreation,” and “the right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad.”

Footnote 2: There is no such thing as objective cinema. Every shot, angle, voice-over, piece of music has a point of view and is subjective. Every documentary you’ve ever seen has a bias.

Footnote 3: Propaganda is not inherently “bad.” It all depends on your perspective. Moore joins a talented propagandist club already populated by WWII-era geniuses like German documenatrian Leni Riefenstahl (”Triumph of the Will”) and beloved American filmmaker Frank Capra (”Why We Fight”).

Tags: capitalism: a love story, film, michael moore, movie, movie review, review

Will Ferrell may have made a career out of playing caricatured man-child characters who don’t want to grow up, but the kind of sweetly stunted misfits who live in the real world (where you have to pay rent, get a job, and grow old) don’t quite look like Ferrell.

In the Humboldt Park area of Chicago, they look like the twenty- and thirtysomethings that populate a non-sports-league-affiliated adult kickball group where the players run to first base while trying not to spill their beer.

The stars of director Ben Steger’s new documentary “Left Field” (playing at the Kansas International Film Festival on Thursday and Spencer Museum of Art in Lawrence on Saturday) are recovering drug addicts, musicians, artists, bartenders, bike mechanics, bowling alley engineers, and other barflies who never grew up to appreciate the 40-hour work week.

By glimpsing the life stories of a select number of kickballers, Steger posits that there might be more to their tight-knit community than merely suspended adolescence. Are they philosophical journeymen (and women) searching for more out of adulthood than the constricting template of getting married and raising a family? Or are they simply putting off the cold, hard slap in the face that comes with middle age?

When KC Haywood and Sarah Hart first moved from New Mexico, they were worried about meeting people in the big urban sprawl of Chicago. A friend told them to come by and check out the hard-partying kickball league she had formed. Soon the couple had their own team—the Fighting Cocks—and were crowned king and queen of the annual Kickball Prom in 2006.

There is a certain fascination in watching pure, idealistic notions get tripped up in execution, so the loosely-paced movie finds more footing as rivals and teammates start to develop their own viewpoints of what the league should be about. Good old-fashioned American competitiveness begins to trump the ironic detachment of non-athletic punk-rock adults playing a child’s game, and the league begins to mirror the dilemma of the little underground band that just got discovered by a mainstream audience.

As it attracts more teams into another season, Steger expands the film’s reach and offers up more people from all sides of the league. The conflict gives the film a bit more shape, but it also forces the original cast of characters somewhat into the background.

If this all sounds like a good idea for a short film, that’s because it was originally intended as one. But just as “Left Field” starts to feel like its spinning its wheels, a completely random tragedy strikes the group, and it’s how they react that propels the film into its elevating final act.

What may be the most telling takeaway from “Left Field” is the humanity that’s brewing just under the surface of its subjects. In interviews, the kickballers do much to celebrate their own non-conformity, but its how they come together as adults that gives the film its biggest victory.

“Left Field” shows Thursday, September 24 at 5:20pm at the Kansas International Film Festival (Glenwood Arts Theater, 9575 Metcalf) and is screening for free on Saturday, September 26th at 2:00pm at the Spencer Museum of Art (1301 Mississippi St.) in Lawrence, KS.

Tags: 2009, adult, Chicago, documentary, film, kickball, league, left field, movie, review, steger