Two months ago, Scene-Stealers sitegoer Aaron Hale submitted his Top 10 Zombie Movie list. Rather than do a list of my favorite zombie movies, which would be very similar to his, I thought I’d write about something that gets to the very heart of why we love zombie movies so much, even though sometimes we don’t even know it: The zombie metaphor.

Horror genres are known to go in and out of fashion. The slasher movie, for instance, is fading a bit right now, while (thanks to HBO’s “True Blood” and the upcoming “Twilight” movie) vampires seem to be having a bit of resurgence of late. One genre, however, that never seems to go away is the zombie movie. The reason is simple. Zombies are easy stand-ins for our lesser selves. Essentially, zombies are reflections of who we are at our worst. Or best, depending on what glass you are viewing the metaphor through.

George Romero is the undisputed king of the zombie flicks. A political filmmaker at heart, he is pigeonholed as a horror director because his zombie movies are full of such prescient social commentary. The original “Night of the Living Dead” (1968) was made for $114,000, and its doom-laden atmosphere and breaching of several taboo subjects have caused its legions of fans to perceive it as many different things. It’s a metaphor for homosexual repression, the civil rights movement, feminism, the counterculture, or an unwinnable war in Vietnam, depending on who you talk to.

However you choose to view it, there is no doubt that its budget limitations only lent more authority to the stark situations that it presents its protagonists with. As zombies overtake the land and nobody is able to stop them, an unfit society’s ultimate fate is to be devoured by, in essence, itself.

By the time Romero finally filmed a sequel, 1978’s “Dawn of the Dead,” he had turned his sights on rampant American consumerism. While stopping to outrun the ever-widening plague, Romero’s characters hole up in the one place they feel safe—the mall. A wickedly funny critique of the nature of consumerism, “Dawn” has its main characters not only taking refuge in a mall, but fighting each other for possessions and territory that is completely meaningless considering the apocalyptic situation outside. The humans celebrate what they think to be their final victory in ridding the mall of zombies with a festive orgy of meaningless “purchase power.” More zombies are soon discovered surrounding the mall, clawing helplessly at the glass and looking in on the humans. It is then that one of the partygoers has the astute observation, “They’re us!” while his companion shivers and pulls up the collar on her new fur coat.

Zombies are the lowest examples of the lower class. They shuffle forward in a hideous lurch; their brains are turned to mush; they moan and groan, producing no intelligible speech; and are driven by one simple, base desire—to eat human flesh. Nevertheless, they seem to overpower their faster, supposedly smarter foes in the human race due to their sheer numbers alone. In Romero’s “Day of the Dead” (1985), this class warfare is more evident than ever before.

“Day” takes place mostly in a military installation, where a sadistic and volatile Army commander—a satire that’s devoid of any subtlety whatsoever—lords with glee over captured zombies. His increasingly psychopathic behavior becomes a problem for scientists trying to study one the living dad to try to figure out how to stop them. Like any good classic horror film (see “Frankenstein,” “Freaks,” etc.), pity grows for the monster, and as military and science turn on each other, it’s the zombies we end up rooting for.

Rich humans are holed up in an indoor oasis and the poor humans must fend for themselves on the zombie-infested outside in Romero’s satire of Bush-era America, 2005’s “Land of the Dead.” One significant change from his past films, besides a bigger budget and some “name” actors like Dennis Hopper and John Leguizamo, is that zombies are evolving. They begin to remember elements of their past human lives, and start to learn from their experiences. Of course, it is a disgruntled human who threatens the encased city with exposure, and when the zombies do eventually overrun, the humans discover—irony of all ironies— that the electric fence that previously kept the zombies out has become a wall that now prevents their own escape.

Rather than continue his continuing narrative, Romero re-imagined his zombie plague from a different perspective with this year’s ill-conceived “Diary of the Dead,” which attempted to address the current user-driven YouTube revolution and general societal mistrust of the government and its fear-mongering. There are some great ideas buried somewhere within, but the movie is too in love with its own out-of-touch, 60s-era sloganeering.

Famous directors like Peter Jackson (“Braindead” aka “Dead Alive”), Sam Raimi (“The Evil Dead” series), and Lucio Fulci (“Zombi 2”) have also put their distinctive marks on the genre, but it was Edgar Wright’s loving send-up/tribute “Shaun of the Dead” (2004) that ventured most closely into the metaphorical by presenting an appliance salesman who stands in for all of sleepy Great Britain. The scene where he goes down the block for ice cream, oblivious to the fact that his street has been turned into a zombie hell is a perfect metaphor for the way we can sometimes plow through our own daily routine with blinders on. Shaun eventually wakes up and fights to save his family and his relationship with his girlfriend—did I mention it was a comedy? The movie is now considered a cult classic and is partly responsible (along with “28 Days Later” and the “Dawn of the Dead” remake) for the recent resurgence in zombie films.

Which may explain why the King of Zombies, George Romero, is back in production again, this time on “Island of the Living Dead,” due out in 2009.

Tags: 28, alive, braindead, dawn, day, days, dead, diary, evil, george, island, land, later, living, metaphor, night, romero, shaun, zombie

“Hey, who wants to be a millionaire?”

Some jackass at the Replay Lounge asked me that question last night after this article appeared in the Lawrence Journal-World. Hell yeah, I do. Are you kidding? Who doesn’t want to get paid a huge some of money for putting all that (formerly) useless movie trivia to work? Today is my first appearance on Netflix Millionaire Movie Week on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”  Click here to find out what time it is showing in your area. In my neck of the woods, it’s on at 2:30pm and 4pm.

Last year my friend Jill Ensley convinced me that it was worth getting off work early to drive up to a car dealership in Kansas City and try out for “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” At first, I thought she was crazy, because I really don’t know enough general trivia to get on that show. (This was proved when I didn’t pass the regular test later that afternoon.) But then she told me they were also testing for Millionaire Movie Week, where all the questions would be about movies. That changed everything.

Long story short– My boss Kim let me off work early (thank you!), I went to KC, passed the movie test, and here I am today. Or, there I was in the Hot Seat in October of last year, rather. I’ve been silent about what happened on the show, but I can’t wait for my friends and family to see it so that I have no more secrets to keep. Meredith was amazing. She was totally encouraging and everyone who works on the show were awesome as well– they really want you to win tons of cash. I met a whole batch of cool movie-geek contestants, and had a great time.

More later…

2/20/08

Video Clips:

Start this video at 2:00 in to see one question right, then my ultimate downfall.

Watch Meredith read the question that tripped me up here.

Okay, so I’m not a millionaire. But I’ll take being a $25,000-aire any day. I kept telling myself over and over that I wouldn’t risk anything unless I was absolutely sure, and yet, there I was, risking huge amounts of money while trying to hold on to lifelines for later. I guess that’s why they call it a “game” show. It wouldn’t have been fun to watch someone guess everything right away and then stop when he didn’t know them anymore. Those third tier questions are designed to make you think and rethink and sweat and think some more.

One thing I noticed, but not nearly as much as when I was sitting in the Hot Seat, was how dry my mouth was. I was drinking lots of water backstage to try and compensate for it, but my mouth was dry as hell. Sometimes the body just reacts to things a certain way, and nothing I could do mentally seemed to control it. My lips were sticking to my teeth and I was licking them and moving them around and making weird faces.

The other thing I noticed is when Meredith told me I won $50,000 after a long, protracted battle with myself (where I pictured Alfred Molina in a snow speeder on Hoth fighting Imperial walkers), I went a little nuts. She did that disappointed “awww” thing to sink my spirits for just a second and then told me I was right. I screamed like a little girl and put my hands on my head. That was funny.

Meredith was hilarious. She’s so good at being charming and keeping everything moving. When the 50/50 thing didn’t go my way, she insisted (like the producers earlier) that it was a random computer program, and when the audience groaned, her reaction was very funny. She even did the “rock fist up” and the “Swiss fist” with me! She’s 100 percent on the contestant’s side, but when I was weighing my decision to go for $100,000, she egged me on there as well. She knows how to squeeze the most amount of tension out of these situations. I was worked up just watching it again, and I already knew what happened.

What a surreal exerience this whole thing has been. You have to embrace how strange life is, I think. Standing in my ripped up Chuck Taylors and shorts while sharing an elevator once with Celine Dion’s husband (René!) who was dressed to the nines and serious as a heart attack was so funny, I was giggling while he was still standing next to me. On one side, a multi-millionaire. The other, a scrubby kid who lives out of a van.

Opening for Miguel Ferrer and Ed Begley, Jr.’s rock band in Santa Monica during the grunge explosion of the early 90s was so exciting, that backstage I forgot what a bottle opener was. Thanks to my good pal Miguel, I had an open bottle of beer in no time. Most celeb sightings and stories I hear are about big stars and the like. I mean, I just interviewed Will Ferrell two weeks ago. But how many people can say that they opened up for a band fronted by a “Twin Peaks” cast member and the drummer for Spinal Tap?

Sitting on the set of a game show with dramatic sound effects, roving spotlights and cameras, and an audience that’s building up your confidence and cheering you on to act like a bigger and bigger imbecile ranks right up there with those surreal experiences. Getting the show’s host to make silly hand gestures that you made up with your friend one day in your living room is priceless.

What’s even more bizarre is that, when it was all over and I got my TV-sized fake check (they give you the one with your name and a million dollars on it, too, just for posterity), I was suddenly on a sidewalk in New York City, outisde the ABC studios, looking at Central Park. All my friends in NY were still at work, so I strolled on over there and spent the next hour and a half just walking around with a big grin on my face knowing that life had just thrown me another wild curveball. And why not?

It’s a good thing I decided to ask my boss if I could leave early that day in July last year.

Tags: a, be, contestant, diary, eric, melin, millionaire, movie, netflix, to, wants, week, who