"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" On-Camera Movie Review

by Eric Melin on June 24, 2009

in Video Reviews


Eric Melin and guest host Ryan Magnuson from “The Sports Buddaye” review the new Michael Bay movie “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox and a whole lot of “fighting robot” porn. Is the constant barrage of crazy transformers fighting each other enough to make the two and half hour movie worth recommending? Are the comedic elements too over the top? Find out what makes this 2009 Transformers movie different from the last one in this on-camera movie review.

Eric is the Editor-in-Chief of Scene-Stealers.com and writes the Screen Stealers column for The Pitch. He’s President of the KCFCC, and drummer for The Dead Girls and Ultimate Fakebook. He is also Air Guitar World Champion Mean Melin. Eric goes to 11. Follow him at:

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{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

1 TS June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

hey holmes, no “review” audio but i can hear the clips and the scene-stealers theme……

Reply

2 TS June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

hey holmes, no “review” audio but i can hear the clips and the scene-stealers theme……

Reply

3 Troy June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

Transformer heaven was just a tad too much.

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4 Troy June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

Transformer heaven was just a tad too much.

Reply

5 RCM June 27, 2009 at 6:21 pm

I’m usually all for self-aware Hollywood trash, but this was just a bit too long and a bit to familiar for me.

Reply

6 RCM June 27, 2009 at 6:21 pm

I’m usually all for self-aware Hollywood trash, but this was just a bit too long and a bit to familiar for me.

Reply

7 halfpint1972 June 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm

did you people watch the same movie I did? I took my 9 and 7 year olds to see it along with almost everyone else in my family…it was great and I hope they do a third….you have to remember people….it’s just a movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

8 halfpint1972 June 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm

did you people watch the same movie I did? I took my 9 and 7 year olds to see it along with almost everyone else in my family…it was great and I hope they do a third….you have to remember people….it’s just a movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

9 Erick July 2, 2009 at 6:46 pm

I agree with halfpint1972, the movie delivers a solid action packed adrenaline rush of robots fighting, military in action, bombs, and the usual out of this world battles and its just pure entertainment,(and comparing the “robot fighting” to porn just baffles me, I mean what the hell kind of porn are you watching that involves giant robots beating the crap out of each other kung fu style? Seriously!).

I also thought the dialogue had harmony and was consistent with the characters. It was funny, if South Park and Family Guy are considered legendary comedies of our age, then how on earth could someone not find this movie funny? Its the same style of humor, witty, random, a little grotesque and vulgar at times, everything people just seem to eat up nowadays. When Sam’s mom ate the natural herb brownies the point of that was to embarrass Sam, like all our mothers ultimately do to their kids, albeit not to this extreme (although in my case worse), but then again movies do that, and its funny seeing it happen to other people.

Two and half hours flew by (that’s because I enjoyed it), and personally I prefer movies that are at least two hours long. I mean if I was in charge I would make that a law, all movies must be 2 hours in length because I’m tired of watching something, just getting into it finally touching base with what’s going on, and then BAM! its over. I mean lose yourself in the movie, leave reality behind and just enjoy the ride. Hard to do when you blink and the movie is over.

There’s more to say but this comment it long enough.

Reply

10 Erick July 2, 2009 at 6:46 pm

I agree with halfpint1972, the movie delivers a solid action packed adrenaline rush of robots fighting, military in action, bombs, and the usual out of this world battles and its just pure entertainment,(and comparing the “robot fighting” to porn just baffles me, I mean what the hell kind of porn are you watching that involves giant robots beating the crap out of each other kung fu style? Seriously!).

I also thought the dialogue had harmony and was consistent with the characters. It was funny, if South Park and Family Guy are considered legendary comedies of our age, then how on earth could someone not find this movie funny? Its the same style of humor, witty, random, a little grotesque and vulgar at times, everything people just seem to eat up nowadays. When Sam’s mom ate the natural herb brownies the point of that was to embarrass Sam, like all our mothers ultimately do to their kids, albeit not to this extreme (although in my case worse), but then again movies do that, and its funny seeing it happen to other people.

Two and half hours flew by (that’s because I enjoyed it), and personally I prefer movies that are at least two hours long. I mean if I was in charge I would make that a law, all movies must be 2 hours in length because I’m tired of watching something, just getting into it finally touching base with what’s going on, and then BAM! its over. I mean lose yourself in the movie, leave reality behind and just enjoy the ride. Hard to do when you blink and the movie is over.

There’s more to say but this comment it long enough.

Reply

11 WL July 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

Despite the good special effects and decent fight scenes, I got bored easily from the over-intense acting and found myself yawning often in addition to laughing at the idea of a robot-alien heaven.

Reply

12 WL July 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

Despite the good special effects and decent fight scenes, I got bored easily from the over-intense acting and found myself yawning often in addition to laughing at the idea of a robot-alien heaven.

Reply

13 Erick July 4, 2009 at 9:56 am

I’ve seen a lot of comments about how the inclusion of a robot heaven was too much for many people. I don’t see what the big deal is personally because unlike the terminator, or the matrix or any other movie with the machine archetype, the transformers are more than just machines with personality, they are actual lifeforms, which implies a spiritual essence and consciousness like our own. So it would only make sense that there would be an afterlife for them like there is for us, if you even believe in that concept.

Michael Bay probably included that to show the intrinsic destiny of the main character and his mission, while also creating a more sentimental awareness in the audience for the transformers.

Reply

14 Erick July 4, 2009 at 9:56 am

I’ve seen a lot of comments about how the inclusion of a robot heaven was too much for many people. I don’t see what the big deal is personally because unlike the terminator, or the matrix or any other movie with the machine archetype, the transformers are more than just machines with personality, they are actual lifeforms, which implies a spiritual essence and consciousness like our own. So it would only make sense that there would be an afterlife for them like there is for us, if you even believe in that concept.

Michael Bay probably included that to show the intrinsic destiny of the main character and his mission, while also creating a more sentimental awareness in the audience for the transformers.

Reply

15 Chris July 5, 2009 at 1:29 pm

OK, I need to respond to some of the reviews on here. First, to the person who said:

“I took my 9 and 7 year olds to see it along with almost everyone else in my family”

So you took kids to this movie? This movie that the mother drops the s-word twice in the first 15 minutes? Oh and bitch is thrown around like it is nothing. Sorry, but 9 year olds and especially 7 years olds should not be exposed to that. Also, how about all the humping? That is terrible that your children had to be exposed to that. And thanks to the treatment of women in this movie if you have daughters they believe that every girl needs to be anorexic and viewed as a sex symbol, and if you have boys they were told by this movie that all women are good for is looking hot. No, this was by no means a kids movie.

To the person who said: “if South Park and Family Guy are considered legendary comedies of our age, then how on earth could someone not find this movie funny?”

There is a HUGE difference between this movie and the humor of the two shows you cite. First humping jokes. In the Southpark episode that was a parody of Lord of the Rings Butters humps one of the kids because he had watched a movie that he thought was Lord of the Ring but was actually a porno. When the kids invited him to play Lord of the Rings he thought he was supposed to hump like he saw in the movie he watched. That is funny, a complicated joke. In Transformers 2 the dogs were just humping, which was supposed to be funny by itself, there was no further context. The jokes are very different. Transformers humor is juvenile in comparison.

Also, in Transformers the two comic relief robots are supposed to be funny because they are street talking and dumb. (And presumably black but I will leave that up for debate.) Compare those characters to Token, the black character in South Park. His name is Token because he is the one black character, the “Token” black kid. That is a joke that cuts to the heart of our racist tendencies. Transformers 2 had NOTHING that deep in any of the humor. The best joke by far was when Lebeouf made a joke about how tight the Frat guy’s shirts were.

This movie was terrible, plain and simple.

Reply

16 Chris July 5, 2009 at 1:29 pm

OK, I need to respond to some of the reviews on here. First, to the person who said:

“I took my 9 and 7 year olds to see it along with almost everyone else in my family”

So you took kids to this movie? This movie that the mother drops the s-word twice in the first 15 minutes? Oh and bitch is thrown around like it is nothing. Sorry, but 9 year olds and especially 7 years olds should not be exposed to that. Also, how about all the humping? That is terrible that your children had to be exposed to that. And thanks to the treatment of women in this movie if you have daughters they believe that every girl needs to be anorexic and viewed as a sex symbol, and if you have boys they were told by this movie that all women are good for is looking hot. No, this was by no means a kids movie.

To the person who said: “if South Park and Family Guy are considered legendary comedies of our age, then how on earth could someone not find this movie funny?”

There is a HUGE difference between this movie and the humor of the two shows you cite. First humping jokes. In the Southpark episode that was a parody of Lord of the Rings Butters humps one of the kids because he had watched a movie that he thought was Lord of the Ring but was actually a porno. When the kids invited him to play Lord of the Rings he thought he was supposed to hump like he saw in the movie he watched. That is funny, a complicated joke. In Transformers 2 the dogs were just humping, which was supposed to be funny by itself, there was no further context. The jokes are very different. Transformers humor is juvenile in comparison.

Also, in Transformers the two comic relief robots are supposed to be funny because they are street talking and dumb. (And presumably black but I will leave that up for debate.) Compare those characters to Token, the black character in South Park. His name is Token because he is the one black character, the “Token” black kid. That is a joke that cuts to the heart of our racist tendencies. Transformers 2 had NOTHING that deep in any of the humor. The best joke by far was when Lebeouf made a joke about how tight the Frat guy’s shirts were.

This movie was terrible, plain and simple.

Reply

17 Ed July 6, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Actually, in the cartoon/comic book series there is specific mentions of the “robot” afterlife directly related to the “matrix of leadership key”, etc. So, it’s not completely off-base. At worst, you could say it was a half-baked attempt to connect to fanboys and insert this piece of Transformers mytholgy or just a plot cop-out. OR you could also do like someone mentioned above and remember that the Transformers are alien LIFEFORMS that are pretty much like advanced humans complete with a sense of good, evil, justice, value of life, etc. and so an ensuing robot heaven should be within scope.

And let’s not forget all the random barfing in Southpark and random slapping/kungfu fighting in Family Guy. Have you ever watched little dogs hump each other? It’s VERY funny for both 7 year olds and 70 year olds. And there is an extra level to the joke of Sam’s dog, Mojo, humping the other dog. Sam’s dog was technically smaller than the other dog, and even the first movie joked about Mojo’s inferiority complex (and how the dog reacted to superior lifeforms) so it’s funny to see it occur again in the second film, hence the line about “no domination” of the bigger dog.

Reply

18 Ed July 6, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Actually, in the cartoon/comic book series there is specific mentions of the “robot” afterlife directly related to the “matrix of leadership key”, etc. So, it’s not completely off-base. At worst, you could say it was a half-baked attempt to connect to fanboys and insert this piece of Transformers mytholgy or just a plot cop-out. OR you could also do like someone mentioned above and remember that the Transformers are alien LIFEFORMS that are pretty much like advanced humans complete with a sense of good, evil, justice, value of life, etc. and so an ensuing robot heaven should be within scope.

And let’s not forget all the random barfing in Southpark and random slapping/kungfu fighting in Family Guy. Have you ever watched little dogs hump each other? It’s VERY funny for both 7 year olds and 70 year olds. And there is an extra level to the joke of Sam’s dog, Mojo, humping the other dog. Sam’s dog was technically smaller than the other dog, and even the first movie joked about Mojo’s inferiority complex (and how the dog reacted to superior lifeforms) so it’s funny to see it occur again in the second film, hence the line about “no domination” of the bigger dog.

Reply

19 Danclan July 7, 2009 at 12:12 pm

WHY does everyone assume that Sam had a visit to “Robot Heaven”? Through the entire movie Sam has had visions planted in his head by an artifact created by long-dead aliens. Then, at the end, he has a vision planted in his head by an artifact left by long dead aliens and. . . NONSENSE, POPPYCOCK, OVERBOARD. Nope, its not some last algorithm left by the primes, a part of their consciousness embedded on the device they left behind (remember the part where they’re machines?) it must be them speaking from beyond the grave. And the fact that said artifact was keyed to rematerialize once their message had played, well, guess that was God, reaching down from heaven, not a design feature of the last safeguard they had in place. (A safeguard that the Fallen knew Sam had to break, BTW, which is why he did not join the battle until after the Matrix appeared, even though he could have squashed all the defenders like insects.

Reply

20 Danclan July 7, 2009 at 12:12 pm

WHY does everyone assume that Sam had a visit to “Robot Heaven”? Through the entire movie Sam has had visions planted in his head by an artifact created by long-dead aliens. Then, at the end, he has a vision planted in his head by an artifact left by long dead aliens and. . . NONSENSE, POPPYCOCK, OVERBOARD. Nope, its not some last algorithm left by the primes, a part of their consciousness embedded on the device they left behind (remember the part where they’re machines?) it must be them speaking from beyond the grave. And the fact that said artifact was keyed to rematerialize once their message had played, well, guess that was God, reaching down from heaven, not a design feature of the last safeguard they had in place. (A safeguard that the Fallen knew Sam had to break, BTW, which is why he did not join the battle until after the Matrix appeared, even though he could have squashed all the defenders like insects.

Reply

21 tuwagapatma July 10, 2009 at 2:31 am

no comment for this topic . . .
I just wanna share the Transformer’s soundtrack . . .
you can download here, Cheap Trick – Transformers The Fallen Remix . . .
and you can get the other song here . . .
The Album OST Transformers Revenge of The Fallen

Reply

22 tuwagapatma July 10, 2009 at 2:31 am

no comment for this topic . . .
I just wanna share the Transformer’s soundtrack . . .
you can download here, Cheap Trick – Transformers The Fallen Remix . . .
and you can get the other song here . . .
The Album OST Transformers Revenge of The Fallen

Reply

23 joe July 14, 2009 at 2:42 am

You sir/madam, should not be allowed to critique movies. There was no redeeming value in this film, and to reccomend someone view this movie is morally reprehensible. You are wasting viewers time, money, and self-respect by such recommendation. Please if you are a reader, and are considering watching this colossal train-wreck, read this accurate review that threw together in fifteen minutes; it will prepare you far more in your decision of how to spend your time, money, and two and half hours of your life you can never get back.

-The Definition of Contrived-

*Introductory Note

This is a rough review, that was only written in response to the review by a professional critic. Please understand that if time were invested I could write a far more eloquent review. As it is, this is a point by point break down of how bad a movie can be.

1. Ignorance of Science and Reason in Direct Conflic With the First Film

In this film the Robots no longer talk only when needing to communicate with humans. They now have catch-phrases and comic dialogue similar in quality to the worst of B-movies. The robots are now an excuse to let characters speak to themselves in order to let you know why and what they are doing, since their behaviour makes no sense otherwise. (A ineffective director would love to be able to do this with his characters, that way their behaviour makes sense when it would otherwise be completely absurd) If the human characters talked as the robots do, you would surely think this is the most unnatural writing you have ever seen. What makes this worse, is the fact that in the original the robots behaved like one would assume robots would behave; that is to say that the robots barely spoke, and unassumingly communicated non-verbally with other as robots, as they logically really would. Even if they are not truly machines and have “souls” this still makes no sense: humans do not sit and say one-liners as the perform every action, and this is not because they are not soulless robots. This is indeed contrary to their depiction in the first film, which did follow science and reason to a fair extent. Originally computer-like, and assumingly not needing to communicate via spoken word since they are machine, the robots are now even more poorly written than the human characters. They talk in cliche after cliche, and engage in idiotic conversations about fate and destiny. Why in the first film someone decided that reason should dictate the behavior of the robots and not now is unknown. Now they are written very much like cartoon characters seen on Saturday mornings. I dare say that this is an insult to Saturday-morning-cartoon writers.

There are now 46 transformers. Apparently whatever limited the mass influx of giant robots in the first film no longer exists. This completely destroys our perception of uniqueness and awe that the original transformer induced. The transformers are now a dime-a-dozen and the audience thusly feels no emotion when one robot is killed or hurt; there are now fifty that can take its place. And dampening the emotional response further is the fact that apparently robots killed, even in the prior film, can be resurrected. And even if obliterated, they are no longer bound to a single body.

The very concept of a “transformer” is completely obsolete in this film. They no longer need to “transform” and blend in with society. With their presence already known, and such large numbers of them residing on the planet, shouldn’t they simply need to be the most effective killing machines possible? Why then do they disguise themselves as giant robotic tigers? Clearly this is not a form that hides anything, and even a Ferrari would be a faster design. But now they transform for really only one reason: so the kiddies have cool toys to buy at the store.

Now there are transformers literally 20 times larger than a semi truck. Why not just immigrate more of such machines. (Or as they are shown doing, why not just have every transformer change bodies. Perhaps change into one the size of the pyramids?) As ruinous as this concept is to reason, the director manages to wage war on common sense even further: apparently using big large transformers is a bad idea when trying to steal a marble-sized rock out of a girls skimpy clothing. Instead it is decided to send in a lone toaster-oven sized transformer to attempt to steal a rock from an a human who presents no threat to a normal sized transformer. Fortunately for skimpy-clothing girl, these transformers can be defeated with random household utensils. Large books are seen to be effective against these robots. While conducting the failed theft of this rock, the robot expresses the most annoying new trait of the transformers: the robots now talk to themselves in cliched archetypal dialogue, saying catch-phrases and expressions such as, “not on my watch”. SPOILER — The robots have now created a transformer that looks and behaves exactly like a human prostitute. If they could make these machines, then taking over the world would seem an easy prospect. But reason is the enemy of this director. — S{OILER

2. Writing, Dialogue, and Acting. (And I use those terms loosely)

The dialogue, both human and robot, is simply atrocious and beyond juvenile. Shia Lebeauf’s (sp?) character does nothing but spout out rapid fire complaints and attempted witty remarks. He speaks in a rate so fast, that even the dialogue induces some form of verbal motion sickness. The entire film consists of him rapidly bickering (though light-hearted) with robots, his parents, and his girlfriend. And similiar to the robots, he seems unable to maintain an inner-dialogue and talks to himself at oppurtune times. Self-talking, is both used for comedic uses like in a James Bond film and to explain why hes doing something that we wouldn’t understand until afterwards (Which is to long for us to wait in the directos mind). His parents are nothing more than a caricature of the archetype: parents sending their baby off to college. The mom weeps at seeing his baby shoes in the first scene, and the dad warns about having too much sex, but that he needs to test the waters before he settles down with his girlfriend. The mother is shown to be mentally retarded, and when the household toaster and vacuum transform into killer robots that cannot aim, she runs outside only to be knocked out by a hanging potted plant. -Slight Spoiler- She also goes berserk on accidentally consumed drugs while moving him in to his campus dorms. She then violates several students while making comments that 7 year-olds would find very amusing. She basically behaves how a clown pretending to be high would act. The father is a well of cliched-advice and expressions that would be fitting of a parody of a teen-goes-to-college movie; emphasis on the fact that he is fitting of a parody of such movies, for real ones are far better written.

The girlfriend is simply eye candy, but is quite adept at out-running explosions. Ans we reminded every scene in this film that she knows how to work on motor-vehicles. Originally this was an interesting character trait that she learned because her father was some sort of rebel who taught her this. Now it is thrown down our throat at every chance, perhaps in the futile hope of creating a dynamic character. But it is made clear that she is their to be sexually arousing. The first scene of her involves no dialogue or purpose, but simply zooms and pans up on her scantily clad body straddling a motor-cycle.

3. “Story”…wait using that word is tantamount to libel. I should say, “sequence of events”… No, I should say “Sequential use of Deus-ex Machina”. (Random plot devices that help the story)

The story is basically thus: Robots are attacking the world, and they need some rocks, one of which was possessed by our protagonist (yes, ‘was’). The Good robots call on the aid of the protagonist not because of any logical reason, or because they know he had said rock, but because they need him as a human ambassador to make people understand their situation. This seems odd as there is already a joint human-robot task force that hunts down bad robots with no involvement what-so-ever of our protagonist. On the subject, the humans on the task force seem to serve the purpose of dying, and possibly shooting completely ineffective bullets at bad robots until the bad robots kill them. Oh, they also fly the robots around in air-planes. It gets worse: the robots can now transfer from one machine to another machine, discarding their original bodies at no cost what-so-ever. Back to our protagonist: he luckily ends up having a purpose other than the completely absurd notion that they need a human teenager to make other humans understand the plight of the robots. (Why not pick perhaps someone people would listen too? Maybe the president or someone people actually important.) But fortunately for the story to somehow make sense, it is revealed that our protagonist gained magic powers when he touched a rock, and this made him have super-knowledge about transformers. This knowledge causes him to break down uncontrollably and start writing things that no one can read; resulting in such hilarious (attempted) scenes as him getting up in his first class and writing on the chalk board during a lecture. He had to correct some scientific theory that the teacher was explaining. Apparently he gained super-human-intelligence from the rock as well. All the while, the bad robot leader, who was discarded at the bottom of the ocean, the one place on earth people cannot get to. He was was of course rescued by robots that can get there. While underwater the robots cannibalize another robot to ressurect their sunken leader. (Apparently they were willing cannibalize him because the robots are dying off without the cube, and they are trying to save thr robot race. So killing one to resurrect another that has no special connection to getting the rock makes a lot of sense…sarcasm) I cannot continue on the sheer monstrosity that is this moves “story”.

4. Non-Stop Music in Every Single Scene

The entire film, and I mean the entire film, music is being played. There is not a scene that the director did not see fit to force emotion via appropriately-mooded music. Because of which (partly), no real emotion is felt during this film, and each scene feels like a part of a dramatic montage in a film. This of course destroys any true development of story-involvement, because in no scene is the human mind given a chance to place their own feelings or sentiment into the film. The director feels neccesary to tell you how to feel at every moment via the mood of the music. This amateurism is continued even more annoyingly and obtrusively in the camera work.

5. Camera Work.Zoom, Pane, Rotate, Rotate, Rotate…

There were approximately five times in the film where the camera did not move for more than 5 seconds. The rest of the film the camera is either panning, zooming, or rotating. The latter (rotating) seems to be the preferred camera-work of the director, or perhaps he thinks cameras can’t work sitting still. In most scenes the director attempts more forced emotion and emphasis by having the camera induce nausea via constant rotation around the subject. When this is saved for final scenes, or introductions of new and grandiose subjects, this can be appropriate and effective; which in this film I assure you it is not.

6. Special Effects and CG…Are they special when they are non-stop?

The one aspect of this film that some find redeeming was its special effects. I beg to differ. Every fight scene, and robot involved action scene, was so fast paced and discombobulated, that a clear understanding of what just happened is unobtainable. The robots have so many different parts, that when more than one is on screen at a time, the eye simply cannot keep track of what is going on. The still shots (which still involved a moving camera) did give viewers chance to see the high-budget CG robots. This gave way to a revelation: there is no difference in quality between the robots of the first film, and the robots of the second film. The only thing changed is that the robots no longer behave like robots, but serve as self-narrating archetypes of cheesy action/comedy characters.

7. Conclusion and Note To Original Critic

If you recommends this film to anyone over the age of 11, you should never be allowed to professionally critique movies ever again. You are wasting hard earned money and giving it to a director/studio who created the visual, acoustical, and plot-wise equivalent of feces. To do such a thing is irresponsible and unforgivable for a movie critic. I wish I had time to write a proper review of this film, not just a response the unprofessional advice of a professional film critic; if I were given the chance to perform your job, I would save countless people time, money, and movie-induced motion sickness. But for now, if this response can prevent one person from seeing this film, then I am satisfied. Please, never critique another film.

Joe Vickers
Not a Film Critic
j.vickers1986@gmail.com

Reply

24 joe July 14, 2009 at 2:42 am

You sir/madam, should not be allowed to critique movies. There was no redeeming value in this film, and to reccomend someone view this movie is morally reprehensible. You are wasting viewers time, money, and self-respect by such recommendation. Please if you are a reader, and are considering watching this colossal train-wreck, read this accurate review that threw together in fifteen minutes; it will prepare you far more in your decision of how to spend your time, money, and two and half hours of your life you can never get back.

-The Definition of Contrived-

*Introductory Note

This is a rough review, that was only written in response to the review by a professional critic. Please understand that if time were invested I could write a far more eloquent review. As it is, this is a point by point break down of how bad a movie can be.

1. Ignorance of Science and Reason in Direct Conflic With the First Film

In this film the Robots no longer talk only when needing to communicate with humans. They now have catch-phrases and comic dialogue similar in quality to the worst of B-movies. The robots are now an excuse to let characters speak to themselves in order to let you know why and what they are doing, since their behaviour makes no sense otherwise. (A ineffective director would love to be able to do this with his characters, that way their behaviour makes sense when it would otherwise be completely absurd) If the human characters talked as the robots do, you would surely think this is the most unnatural writing you have ever seen. What makes this worse, is the fact that in the original the robots behaved like one would assume robots would behave; that is to say that the robots barely spoke, and unassumingly communicated non-verbally with other as robots, as they logically really would. Even if they are not truly machines and have “souls” this still makes no sense: humans do not sit and say one-liners as the perform every action, and this is not because they are not soulless robots. This is indeed contrary to their depiction in the first film, which did follow science and reason to a fair extent. Originally computer-like, and assumingly not needing to communicate via spoken word since they are machine, the robots are now even more poorly written than the human characters. They talk in cliche after cliche, and engage in idiotic conversations about fate and destiny. Why in the first film someone decided that reason should dictate the behavior of the robots and not now is unknown. Now they are written very much like cartoon characters seen on Saturday mornings. I dare say that this is an insult to Saturday-morning-cartoon writers.

There are now 46 transformers. Apparently whatever limited the mass influx of giant robots in the first film no longer exists. This completely destroys our perception of uniqueness and awe that the original transformer induced. The transformers are now a dime-a-dozen and the audience thusly feels no emotion when one robot is killed or hurt; there are now fifty that can take its place. And dampening the emotional response further is the fact that apparently robots killed, even in the prior film, can be resurrected. And even if obliterated, they are no longer bound to a single body.

The very concept of a “transformer” is completely obsolete in this film. They no longer need to “transform” and blend in with society. With their presence already known, and such large numbers of them residing on the planet, shouldn’t they simply need to be the most effective killing machines possible? Why then do they disguise themselves as giant robotic tigers? Clearly this is not a form that hides anything, and even a Ferrari would be a faster design. But now they transform for really only one reason: so the kiddies have cool toys to buy at the store.

Now there are transformers literally 20 times larger than a semi truck. Why not just immigrate more of such machines. (Or as they are shown doing, why not just have every transformer change bodies. Perhaps change into one the size of the pyramids?) As ruinous as this concept is to reason, the director manages to wage war on common sense even further: apparently using big large transformers is a bad idea when trying to steal a marble-sized rock out of a girls skimpy clothing. Instead it is decided to send in a lone toaster-oven sized transformer to attempt to steal a rock from an a human who presents no threat to a normal sized transformer. Fortunately for skimpy-clothing girl, these transformers can be defeated with random household utensils. Large books are seen to be effective against these robots. While conducting the failed theft of this rock, the robot expresses the most annoying new trait of the transformers: the robots now talk to themselves in cliched archetypal dialogue, saying catch-phrases and expressions such as, “not on my watch”. SPOILER — The robots have now created a transformer that looks and behaves exactly like a human prostitute. If they could make these machines, then taking over the world would seem an easy prospect. But reason is the enemy of this director. — S{OILER

2. Writing, Dialogue, and Acting. (And I use those terms loosely)

The dialogue, both human and robot, is simply atrocious and beyond juvenile. Shia Lebeauf’s (sp?) character does nothing but spout out rapid fire complaints and attempted witty remarks. He speaks in a rate so fast, that even the dialogue induces some form of verbal motion sickness. The entire film consists of him rapidly bickering (though light-hearted) with robots, his parents, and his girlfriend. And similiar to the robots, he seems unable to maintain an inner-dialogue and talks to himself at oppurtune times. Self-talking, is both used for comedic uses like in a James Bond film and to explain why hes doing something that we wouldn’t understand until afterwards (Which is to long for us to wait in the directos mind). His parents are nothing more than a caricature of the archetype: parents sending their baby off to college. The mom weeps at seeing his baby shoes in the first scene, and the dad warns about having too much sex, but that he needs to test the waters before he settles down with his girlfriend. The mother is shown to be mentally retarded, and when the household toaster and vacuum transform into killer robots that cannot aim, she runs outside only to be knocked out by a hanging potted plant. -Slight Spoiler- She also goes berserk on accidentally consumed drugs while moving him in to his campus dorms. She then violates several students while making comments that 7 year-olds would find very amusing. She basically behaves how a clown pretending to be high would act. The father is a well of cliched-advice and expressions that would be fitting of a parody of a teen-goes-to-college movie; emphasis on the fact that he is fitting of a parody of such movies, for real ones are far better written.

The girlfriend is simply eye candy, but is quite adept at out-running explosions. Ans we reminded every scene in this film that she knows how to work on motor-vehicles. Originally this was an interesting character trait that she learned because her father was some sort of rebel who taught her this. Now it is thrown down our throat at every chance, perhaps in the futile hope of creating a dynamic character. But it is made clear that she is their to be sexually arousing. The first scene of her involves no dialogue or purpose, but simply zooms and pans up on her scantily clad body straddling a motor-cycle.

3. “Story”…wait using that word is tantamount to libel. I should say, “sequence of events”… No, I should say “Sequential use of Deus-ex Machina”. (Random plot devices that help the story)

The story is basically thus: Robots are attacking the world, and they need some rocks, one of which was possessed by our protagonist (yes, ‘was’). The Good robots call on the aid of the protagonist not because of any logical reason, or because they know he had said rock, but because they need him as a human ambassador to make people understand their situation. This seems odd as there is already a joint human-robot task force that hunts down bad robots with no involvement what-so-ever of our protagonist. On the subject, the humans on the task force seem to serve the purpose of dying, and possibly shooting completely ineffective bullets at bad robots until the bad robots kill them. Oh, they also fly the robots around in air-planes. It gets worse: the robots can now transfer from one machine to another machine, discarding their original bodies at no cost what-so-ever. Back to our protagonist: he luckily ends up having a purpose other than the completely absurd notion that they need a human teenager to make other humans understand the plight of the robots. (Why not pick perhaps someone people would listen too? Maybe the president or someone people actually important.) But fortunately for the story to somehow make sense, it is revealed that our protagonist gained magic powers when he touched a rock, and this made him have super-knowledge about transformers. This knowledge causes him to break down uncontrollably and start writing things that no one can read; resulting in such hilarious (attempted) scenes as him getting up in his first class and writing on the chalk board during a lecture. He had to correct some scientific theory that the teacher was explaining. Apparently he gained super-human-intelligence from the rock as well. All the while, the bad robot leader, who was discarded at the bottom of the ocean, the one place on earth people cannot get to. He was was of course rescued by robots that can get there. While underwater the robots cannibalize another robot to ressurect their sunken leader. (Apparently they were willing cannibalize him because the robots are dying off without the cube, and they are trying to save thr robot race. So killing one to resurrect another that has no special connection to getting the rock makes a lot of sense…sarcasm) I cannot continue on the sheer monstrosity that is this moves “story”.

4. Non-Stop Music in Every Single Scene

The entire film, and I mean the entire film, music is being played. There is not a scene that the director did not see fit to force emotion via appropriately-mooded music. Because of which (partly), no real emotion is felt during this film, and each scene feels like a part of a dramatic montage in a film. This of course destroys any true development of story-involvement, because in no scene is the human mind given a chance to place their own feelings or sentiment into the film. The director feels neccesary to tell you how to feel at every moment via the mood of the music. This amateurism is continued even more annoyingly and obtrusively in the camera work.

5. Camera Work.Zoom, Pane, Rotate, Rotate, Rotate…

There were approximately five times in the film where the camera did not move for more than 5 seconds. The rest of the film the camera is either panning, zooming, or rotating. The latter (rotating) seems to be the preferred camera-work of the director, or perhaps he thinks cameras can’t work sitting still. In most scenes the director attempts more forced emotion and emphasis by having the camera induce nausea via constant rotation around the subject. When this is saved for final scenes, or introductions of new and grandiose subjects, this can be appropriate and effective; which in this film I assure you it is not.

6. Special Effects and CG…Are they special when they are non-stop?

The one aspect of this film that some find redeeming was its special effects. I beg to differ. Every fight scene, and robot involved action scene, was so fast paced and discombobulated, that a clear understanding of what just happened is unobtainable. The robots have so many different parts, that when more than one is on screen at a time, the eye simply cannot keep track of what is going on. The still shots (which still involved a moving camera) did give viewers chance to see the high-budget CG robots. This gave way to a revelation: there is no difference in quality between the robots of the first film, and the robots of the second film. The only thing changed is that the robots no longer behave like robots, but serve as self-narrating archetypes of cheesy action/comedy characters.

7. Conclusion and Note To Original Critic

If you recommends this film to anyone over the age of 11, you should never be allowed to professionally critique movies ever again. You are wasting hard earned money and giving it to a director/studio who created the visual, acoustical, and plot-wise equivalent of feces. To do such a thing is irresponsible and unforgivable for a movie critic. I wish I had time to write a proper review of this film, not just a response the unprofessional advice of a professional film critic; if I were given the chance to perform your job, I would save countless people time, money, and movie-induced motion sickness. But for now, if this response can prevent one person from seeing this film, then I am satisfied. Please, never critique another film.

Joe Vickers
Not a Film Critic
j.vickers1986@gmail.com

Reply

25 David July 15, 2009 at 3:30 am

Joe,you seem to have misunderstood so much in this movie that your review ends up being less about the film and more about what you mistakenly thought was going on.

EX.

1.the robots did not transfer bodies, they just re disguised themselves, much as they are seen doing throughout the first movie. ex. when the autobots arrive or when bumblebee changes in the tunnel

2.the canabilization of the robot underwater served a very logical purpose, megatron being the second strongest decepticon (second only to the fallen)was the favorite/prodigy of the fallen, and his strength and leadership were needed by the decepticons

3.Optimus approached Sam because he needed someone who understood them and had a connection to them to explain their intentions to the united states government. They could not approach anyone else (the president as u suggested) because the testimony had to come from a human who had first hand experience and KNEW them and was an authority on their culture(relatively speaking) if you will.

4.the cube gave sam the knowledge of the transformers not superhuman intelligence, that is why he was able to correct the professor,their knowledge of physics and the like was much greater than the humans

5.they didn’t want to take over the world with humanoid robots, the whole plot was that they wanted to harness our sun and in effect DESTROY our world, and i don’t see how having an army of sexy androids would help in that plan.

Lastly you can say the story wasn’t a good one, but it did make sense

It really is a good thing your not a movie critic because apparently your not even a movie WATCHER, next time try pay attention and understand the BASIC plot points before you write a scathing review

Reply

26 David July 15, 2009 at 3:30 am

Joe,you seem to have misunderstood so much in this movie that your review ends up being less about the film and more about what you mistakenly thought was going on.

EX.

1.the robots did not transfer bodies, they just re disguised themselves, much as they are seen doing throughout the first movie. ex. when the autobots arrive or when bumblebee changes in the tunnel

2.the canabilization of the robot underwater served a very logical purpose, megatron being the second strongest decepticon (second only to the fallen)was the favorite/prodigy of the fallen, and his strength and leadership were needed by the decepticons

3.Optimus approached Sam because he needed someone who understood them and had a connection to them to explain their intentions to the united states government. They could not approach anyone else (the president as u suggested) because the testimony had to come from a human who had first hand experience and KNEW them and was an authority on their culture(relatively speaking) if you will.

4.the cube gave sam the knowledge of the transformers not superhuman intelligence, that is why he was able to correct the professor,their knowledge of physics and the like was much greater than the humans

5.they didn’t want to take over the world with humanoid robots, the whole plot was that they wanted to harness our sun and in effect DESTROY our world, and i don’t see how having an army of sexy androids would help in that plan.

Lastly you can say the story wasn’t a good one, but it did make sense

It really is a good thing your not a movie critic because apparently your not even a movie WATCHER, next time try pay attention and understand the BASIC plot points before you write a scathing review

Reply

27 Melatoninmg - Melatonin Side Effects July 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Transformers movie rocks. i am a fan of Transformers ever since childhood. Now i have three kids and they all like the Transformers cartoon series and the Movie.

Reply

28 Melatoninmg - Melatonin Side Effects July 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Transformers movie rocks. i am a fan of Transformers ever since childhood. Now i have three kids and they all like the Transformers cartoon series and the Movie.

Reply

29 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:47 am

PART 1 of 2

ADDRESSING THE REBUTTAL OF A SELECT FEW OF THE POINTS I MADE
(You should try rebutting the points I made that are actually damning to the movie)

David, I know being a fanboy can skew one’s perception of quality; but in your case it is causing you to be delusional and unable to realize

reality.
Instead of addressing my points that are the most seriously damning to the Movie, you found 5 things that are relatively minor complaints of mine,

leaving the rest unaddressed. What is funny is that one of you corrections raises a far, far, more damning problem to the movie.
Your defense of the robots changing form is far more problematic than my interpretation. I went back and looked and you are right, THIS IS A HUGE

PROBLEM.

————————-

David Writes
“the robots did not transfer bodies, they just re disguised themselves”

(1) These are no longer Transformers, but SHAPE-SHIFTERS. Because who needs two forms when you have infinite? They can be anything they want instantly.

ABSTRACT: Can change into a different makeup/transforming machine completely and instantly, without needing to take over the original machine. The

transformers are taking on machine forms that don’t exist anywhere, and are only from their imagination. Thus making them having unlimited power as

shape-shifters.

As you pointed out, they are now not just transforming, but changing bodies, and needing to takeover the machine they copied from, or even needing

a machine to copy from. THEN THIS IS EVEN MORE OF A PROBLEM. They instantly change into vehicles that are in perfect condition, thus they can instantly

heal themselves. But this the least of the problems with this power: They cab take the form of IMAGINARY MACHINES. Thus, they can SHAPE-SHIFT INSTANTLY

go beyond transforming, and change INSTANTLY and ENTIRELY into machines that DON’T EXIST and are also far MORE POWERFUL than machines that from the real

world: WHY NOT BECOME THE ULTIMATE WAR MACHINE IN A MATTER OF SECONDS INSTEAD OF A SEMI-TRUCK?

Basically if they have the ability to restructure themselves and “disguise” themselves as a completely new robot, they are near infinite in power

and immortal. If they can instantly change instantly into perfect condition vehicles they come across, then why don’t they just change into new perfect

vehicles whenever is convenient? And if they can transform their entire form without some super-power up like the ‘Cube’, then they are shape shifters!

They can simply say, “heck, this form is completely broken, I feel like being that Porsche right there, but with spider legs and a cannon.” If they have

the power to completely re-form and restructure their entire body, then why wouldn’t they just do that whenever they take damage? After their battle in

the first scene they didn’t need any special preparations to shape-shift. When coming off the battlefield they don’t need any special orb or magical

science device to do this, making it clear they can do this whenever they feel like it. They would just shape-shift whenever they are taking damage. Or

if they are cars and the enemy runs away, why don’t they just transform into an airplane that they have seen? Or perhaps you are insinuating the object

they have to transform into has to be next to them (which I prove can’t be the case because of imaginary forms), then they should just keep an arsenal

of different war-time machinery on to copy.

Whats worse about the point you made is this, *they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they

want, real or imaginary*. We see in this film that they don’t have to take the form of real objects, since many of the transformers are imaginary

things like a GIANT ROBOT TIGER WITH PLASMA CANNONS. If they can instantly change their entire form into a new machine, then here is the problem:

They are no longer just two form transformers. They can literally shape-shift at will into any machine they come in they can think up or copy

existing machines! Why even be a machine that transforms into two different things when you magically change your entire makeup in seconds into a

completely new machine? If they are in combat why the heck are they hybrid cars? We see that they can take up any form they want, why not instantly

transform into a Ferrari-Sherman Tank hybrid with giant cannons and a v-16 engine…instead of damn Chevrolet Volt Hybrid gas electric (very battle

effective)? We see now that the Transformers are anything they want to be, as demonstrated by all the transformers that are not real objects, but

simply forms that are, assumingly, most effective. Again if they are changing into forms of NON-EXISTENT machines, then they never had to come in

contact with that object to take that form! And since we saw they can change make-up at will why SHAPE SHIFT INTO THE ULTIMATE WAR MACHINE AT WILL?

(Seriously though, why are they changing into HYBRID GAS-ELECTRIC CARS when apparently they can change shift and become a HYBRID SHERMAN TANK-

HELLICOPTER-MAGICAL DRAGON-KILING MACHINE? By bringing up your point you have shown that this is EVEN MORE A PROBLEM)

————————-

David Writes:
“the canabilization of the robot underwater served a very logical purpose, megatron being the second strongest decepticon (second only to the

fallen)was the favorite/prodigy of the fallen, and his strength and leadership were needed by the decepticons”

(2) Megatron is redundant. He also reveals that transformers are immoratal. And that humans are compltely idiotic: Hiding Megatron the one place on

earth human’s cannot readily get to or defend, but where transformers can.

I will give you that perhaps the Decepticons for some reason need Megatron. But this is really a very-very minor complaint of mine. What I actually

criticized is that Megatron reveals that apparently transformers are IMMORTAL. If they take a newly spawned transformer, that they say will die anyway

without the cube, they can fix transformers that have lived for a long time. So just spawn new parts, and fix existing robots with cannibalization.
Now this isn;t the a real big problem like the in (1); but it reveals more idiocy in this movie. Why did they sink Megatron to the bottom of the

ocean, the one place on earth humans cannot readily get to, attack, or defend? Clearly tranforming robots from outer-space would have no problem going

down there. If they really wanted to hide Megatron (Which raises another non-sense problem), why didn’t they just encase him in cement and guard that.

But this really is all idiotic in the first place.
Why wouldn’t they just blow what was left of him up?? Apparently they don’t need to be able to access him since they where they “hid” him. They

could have destroyed him in so many ways, but instead:

JUST DID WHAT MADE THE “STORY” WORK EVEN THOUGH IT IS COMPLETELY CONTRARY TO COMMON SENSE!

They could kiled megatron in countless ways, which is thing that any human being would do. These methods include:

A. Blowing him up with thermo-nuclear weapon on an island.
B. Dropping his remains in molten lava in the top of an active volcano.
C. Used plasma cutters, mince him up into Boullion cube sized pieces.
ETC…ETC…ETC…

This is one of the actually DAMNING CRITCISMS I had of this movie: Instead of using reality, reason, common sense, how humans really behave, or

even the smallest amount of science; THEY CHEAT AND USE DEUS-EX MACHINA (PLOT DEVICES) TO MAKE THE STORY WORK EVEN WHEN IT CONTRADICTS EVERY BIT OF

COMMON SENSE THE AUDIENCE HAS.

————————-

David writes,
“Optimus approached Sam because he needed someone who understood them and had a connection to them to explain their intentions to the united states

government. They could not approach anyone else (the president as u suggested) because the testimony had to come from a human who had first hand

experience and KNEW them and was an authority on their culture(relatively speaking) if you will.”

(3) Seriously, this just is such an obvious plot-device giving them an excuse to make Sam part of the story.

If they didn’t artificially create a “need” for some sort of Teenage Alien-Ambassador that no one knows to persuade man-kind, then it would become

obvious that there existed no real reason to involve a teenage boy in a battle between Intergalactic Sace Robots and Human Military Forces.

We are not stupid. When Optimus prime comes to Sam’s college we hope that their is a real reason he was transported across the Globe; unfortunately

at this point in the story the writiers hadn’t thought about a plot and had to create a plot-device that would make Sam’s necessary.
Do you really think that a college freshman is the right chocice to CONVINCE THE WORLD of the robots plight? If you really believe that this would

be the rational choice of ambassador, then you are to much of a fan to look at reality. Clearly no one would listen to this boy, since no one knows

anything about him, no one even knows he was the one involved in the first movie.
If he had become famous because of the events in the first movie THEN THIS WOULD MAKE SENSE. But sense it was all kept secret, using him makes no

sense.

THEY WOULD USE SOMEONE IMPORTANT, SOMEONE PEOPLE LISTEN TOO, SOMEONE PEOPLE ALREADY RESPECT, SOMEONE NOT A TEENAGER, SOMEONE WITH INFLUENCE, SOMEONE WHO

THE MEDIA WOULD GIVE AIR TIME TOO, SOMEONE ALSO SYMPATHETIC TO THEIR CAUSE, I.E. SOMEONE WHO MATTERS.

You call him an, “authority on their culture”. Even if he “relatively” is. You are not an authority unless PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGE YOU ASS ONE.

Even though someone may know a ton about a subject and may be the smartest person on earth about that subject: UNLESS THEY HAVE AUTHORITY, A DEGREE,

A POSITION OF POWER, RESPECT, INFLUENCE, ADMIRATION, RANK, ANYTHING — THEN IT DOESN”T MATTER IF YOU ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON ON EARTH ON THE SUBJECT,

IF NO ONE KNOWS YOU OR IS AWARE OF THIS, THEN NO ONE WILL CARE!.

This one is just common sense, done.

————————-

Reply

30 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:47 am

PART 1 of 2

ADDRESSING THE REBUTTAL OF A SELECT FEW OF THE POINTS I MADE
(You should try rebutting the points I made that are actually damning to the movie)

David, I know being a fanboy can skew one’s perception of quality; but in your case it is causing you to be delusional and unable to realize

reality.
Instead of addressing my points that are the most seriously damning to the Movie, you found 5 things that are relatively minor complaints of mine,

leaving the rest unaddressed. What is funny is that one of you corrections raises a far, far, more damning problem to the movie.
Your defense of the robots changing form is far more problematic than my interpretation. I went back and looked and you are right, THIS IS A HUGE

PROBLEM.

————————-

David Writes
“the robots did not transfer bodies, they just re disguised themselves”

(1) These are no longer Transformers, but SHAPE-SHIFTERS. Because who needs two forms when you have infinite? They can be anything they want instantly.

ABSTRACT: Can change into a different makeup/transforming machine completely and instantly, without needing to take over the original machine. The

transformers are taking on machine forms that don’t exist anywhere, and are only from their imagination. Thus making them having unlimited power as

shape-shifters.

As you pointed out, they are now not just transforming, but changing bodies, and needing to takeover the machine they copied from, or even needing

a machine to copy from. THEN THIS IS EVEN MORE OF A PROBLEM. They instantly change into vehicles that are in perfect condition, thus they can instantly

heal themselves. But this the least of the problems with this power: They cab take the form of IMAGINARY MACHINES. Thus, they can SHAPE-SHIFT INSTANTLY

go beyond transforming, and change INSTANTLY and ENTIRELY into machines that DON’T EXIST and are also far MORE POWERFUL than machines that from the real

world: WHY NOT BECOME THE ULTIMATE WAR MACHINE IN A MATTER OF SECONDS INSTEAD OF A SEMI-TRUCK?

Basically if they have the ability to restructure themselves and “disguise” themselves as a completely new robot, they are near infinite in power

and immortal. If they can instantly change instantly into perfect condition vehicles they come across, then why don’t they just change into new perfect

vehicles whenever is convenient? And if they can transform their entire form without some super-power up like the ‘Cube’, then they are shape shifters!

They can simply say, “heck, this form is completely broken, I feel like being that Porsche right there, but with spider legs and a cannon.” If they have

the power to completely re-form and restructure their entire body, then why wouldn’t they just do that whenever they take damage? After their battle in

the first scene they didn’t need any special preparations to shape-shift. When coming off the battlefield they don’t need any special orb or magical

science device to do this, making it clear they can do this whenever they feel like it. They would just shape-shift whenever they are taking damage. Or

if they are cars and the enemy runs away, why don’t they just transform into an airplane that they have seen? Or perhaps you are insinuating the object

they have to transform into has to be next to them (which I prove can’t be the case because of imaginary forms), then they should just keep an arsenal

of different war-time machinery on to copy.

Whats worse about the point you made is this, *they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they

want, real or imaginary*. We see in this film that they don’t have to take the form of real objects, since many of the transformers are imaginary

things like a GIANT ROBOT TIGER WITH PLASMA CANNONS. If they can instantly change their entire form into a new machine, then here is the problem:

They are no longer just two form transformers. They can literally shape-shift at will into any machine they come in they can think up or copy

existing machines! Why even be a machine that transforms into two different things when you magically change your entire makeup in seconds into a

completely new machine? If they are in combat why the heck are they hybrid cars? We see that they can take up any form they want, why not instantly

transform into a Ferrari-Sherman Tank hybrid with giant cannons and a v-16 engine…instead of damn Chevrolet Volt Hybrid gas electric (very battle

effective)? We see now that the Transformers are anything they want to be, as demonstrated by all the transformers that are not real objects, but

simply forms that are, assumingly, most effective. Again if they are changing into forms of NON-EXISTENT machines, then they never had to come in

contact with that object to take that form! And since we saw they can change make-up at will why SHAPE SHIFT INTO THE ULTIMATE WAR MACHINE AT WILL?

(Seriously though, why are they changing into HYBRID GAS-ELECTRIC CARS when apparently they can change shift and become a HYBRID SHERMAN TANK-

HELLICOPTER-MAGICAL DRAGON-KILING MACHINE? By bringing up your point you have shown that this is EVEN MORE A PROBLEM)

————————-

David Writes:
“the canabilization of the robot underwater served a very logical purpose, megatron being the second strongest decepticon (second only to the

fallen)was the favorite/prodigy of the fallen, and his strength and leadership were needed by the decepticons”

(2) Megatron is redundant. He also reveals that transformers are immoratal. And that humans are compltely idiotic: Hiding Megatron the one place on

earth human’s cannot readily get to or defend, but where transformers can.

I will give you that perhaps the Decepticons for some reason need Megatron. But this is really a very-very minor complaint of mine. What I actually

criticized is that Megatron reveals that apparently transformers are IMMORTAL. If they take a newly spawned transformer, that they say will die anyway

without the cube, they can fix transformers that have lived for a long time. So just spawn new parts, and fix existing robots with cannibalization.
Now this isn;t the a real big problem like the in (1); but it reveals more idiocy in this movie. Why did they sink Megatron to the bottom of the

ocean, the one place on earth humans cannot readily get to, attack, or defend? Clearly tranforming robots from outer-space would have no problem going

down there. If they really wanted to hide Megatron (Which raises another non-sense problem), why didn’t they just encase him in cement and guard that.

But this really is all idiotic in the first place.
Why wouldn’t they just blow what was left of him up?? Apparently they don’t need to be able to access him since they where they “hid” him. They

could have destroyed him in so many ways, but instead:

JUST DID WHAT MADE THE “STORY” WORK EVEN THOUGH IT IS COMPLETELY CONTRARY TO COMMON SENSE!

They could kiled megatron in countless ways, which is thing that any human being would do. These methods include:

A. Blowing him up with thermo-nuclear weapon on an island.
B. Dropping his remains in molten lava in the top of an active volcano.
C. Used plasma cutters, mince him up into Boullion cube sized pieces.
ETC…ETC…ETC…

This is one of the actually DAMNING CRITCISMS I had of this movie: Instead of using reality, reason, common sense, how humans really behave, or

even the smallest amount of science; THEY CHEAT AND USE DEUS-EX MACHINA (PLOT DEVICES) TO MAKE THE STORY WORK EVEN WHEN IT CONTRADICTS EVERY BIT OF

COMMON SENSE THE AUDIENCE HAS.

————————-

David writes,
“Optimus approached Sam because he needed someone who understood them and had a connection to them to explain their intentions to the united states

government. They could not approach anyone else (the president as u suggested) because the testimony had to come from a human who had first hand

experience and KNEW them and was an authority on their culture(relatively speaking) if you will.”

(3) Seriously, this just is such an obvious plot-device giving them an excuse to make Sam part of the story.

If they didn’t artificially create a “need” for some sort of Teenage Alien-Ambassador that no one knows to persuade man-kind, then it would become

obvious that there existed no real reason to involve a teenage boy in a battle between Intergalactic Sace Robots and Human Military Forces.

We are not stupid. When Optimus prime comes to Sam’s college we hope that their is a real reason he was transported across the Globe; unfortunately

at this point in the story the writiers hadn’t thought about a plot and had to create a plot-device that would make Sam’s necessary.
Do you really think that a college freshman is the right chocice to CONVINCE THE WORLD of the robots plight? If you really believe that this would

be the rational choice of ambassador, then you are to much of a fan to look at reality. Clearly no one would listen to this boy, since no one knows

anything about him, no one even knows he was the one involved in the first movie.
If he had become famous because of the events in the first movie THEN THIS WOULD MAKE SENSE. But sense it was all kept secret, using him makes no

sense.

THEY WOULD USE SOMEONE IMPORTANT, SOMEONE PEOPLE LISTEN TOO, SOMEONE PEOPLE ALREADY RESPECT, SOMEONE NOT A TEENAGER, SOMEONE WITH INFLUENCE, SOMEONE WHO

THE MEDIA WOULD GIVE AIR TIME TOO, SOMEONE ALSO SYMPATHETIC TO THEIR CAUSE, I.E. SOMEONE WHO MATTERS.

You call him an, “authority on their culture”. Even if he “relatively” is. You are not an authority unless PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGE YOU ASS ONE.

Even though someone may know a ton about a subject and may be the smartest person on earth about that subject: UNLESS THEY HAVE AUTHORITY, A DEGREE,

A POSITION OF POWER, RESPECT, INFLUENCE, ADMIRATION, RANK, ANYTHING — THEN IT DOESN”T MATTER IF YOU ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON ON EARTH ON THE SUBJECT,

IF NO ONE KNOWS YOU OR IS AWARE OF THIS, THEN NO ONE WILL CARE!.

This one is just common sense, done.

————————-

Reply

31 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:50 am

PART 2 of 3 (correction took 3 posts)

David Writes,
“the cube gave sam the knowledge of the transformers not superhuman intelligence, that is why he was able to correct the professor,their knowledge

of physics and the like was much greater than the humans”

(4) This one is an argument about semantics, even if it didn’t give him “super-human intelligence” who cares. This wasn’t the problem with the scenario.

And if you don’t think that instantly disproving and dismissing a accepted theory on space, time, and physics is “super-human intelligence”; then I

don’t know what is. Why does this even matter? My criticism wasn’t about him being too smart.

My criticism was that these super-knowledge granted to him because he touched the rock was a clear plot device that gave them an excuse to work him

into the story; because having him as alien-ambassador wasn;t enough to make him important and involved in the story. So they decided to grant him

super-powers that made him important to the story.

What if he wasn’t getting out his jacket that has been stored in the closet at the EXACT moment the rock became activated. Wouldn’t it have been

INFINITELY MORE LIKELY that it would have activated not at the precise time he got it out, but during the vast amounts of time it was in his closet?

Yet again we get coincidence, and stupid random plot-devices to create the story, instead of the development of story, chracter, and plot. Lets go

over the absurditity real quick :

(By the way you could count the absurdity like this for practically every scene in the movie)

A. It just happened that the very moment he was getting his jacket out of storage the rock activated.

B. Also is it just because he picked up the Cube shard that it activated, or was it simply coincidence? If just coincidence, then this is also

infinitely unlikely that the very first time he finds the shard and it activates he happens to be holding it and staring at it.

C. If simply picking it up and looking at was then what activated it (in order to not be infinitely coincidental) then what about all the other shards,

like the one in possession of the military. Why did they not activate when the military picked it up. Why did it not grant magical powers to that

military person.

D. Why if the one at his house caused all his electronic to come to life, did the one at the military not do so. Did they both not activate at the same

time. Then it must be activated by touch, but then anyone who had touched the other shards should als do have the magic knowledge.

E. Why when the cube was whole, was it less powerful than the shards? I mean, no one ever said it granted magic knowledge to people when it was a whole

cube. And it didn’t in the first film. When touched in the first one it didn’t do this. So apparently the cube has to be broken into countless pieces in

order to function completely.

F. If then it was chance and not touch that activated it. Then it just so happened that even though there are other cubes already in possession of other

people on earth that he was the only one near one when they activated. And why did they not melt anything it contacted and turn all the technology

around them into machines.

G. Why can robots created by the shard not aim even though they are the most advanced AI humans have ever seen? Why did they not cut his legs off when

he first opened his door?

H. WHy didn’t the bigger machines in the house transform?

I. Why would he give the shard to his girlfriend to hide on her when it could possibly burn a whole right through her?

J. Why did he even give the shard to her, he has a giant robot to protect his and she has nothing. (Fortunately they decided not send transformers that

could kill her in one hit to go get it, they sent a tranformer that could be killed with a text-book).

K. DO YOU GET THE IDEA??????? This is only my problems in the first scene of the movie involving Sam.

I literally had to fight all these common sense thoughts in my head while watching this scene. The problem was, I HAD TO FIGHT ALL THESE COMMON

SENSE QUESTIONS AT EVERY SCENE!

So when you write, “you can say the story wasn’t a good one, but it did make sense”, I am very very insulted, and concerned for you if you mean it,

that you didn’t have all these kinds of problems at every scene in this movie. I’m not joking, every scene in this movie was a full on attack on reason!

Reply

32 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:50 am

PART 2 of 3 (correction took 3 posts)

David Writes,
“the cube gave sam the knowledge of the transformers not superhuman intelligence, that is why he was able to correct the professor,their knowledge

of physics and the like was much greater than the humans”

(4) This one is an argument about semantics, even if it didn’t give him “super-human intelligence” who cares. This wasn’t the problem with the scenario.

And if you don’t think that instantly disproving and dismissing a accepted theory on space, time, and physics is “super-human intelligence”; then I

don’t know what is. Why does this even matter? My criticism wasn’t about him being too smart.

My criticism was that these super-knowledge granted to him because he touched the rock was a clear plot device that gave them an excuse to work him

into the story; because having him as alien-ambassador wasn;t enough to make him important and involved in the story. So they decided to grant him

super-powers that made him important to the story.

What if he wasn’t getting out his jacket that has been stored in the closet at the EXACT moment the rock became activated. Wouldn’t it have been

INFINITELY MORE LIKELY that it would have activated not at the precise time he got it out, but during the vast amounts of time it was in his closet?

Yet again we get coincidence, and stupid random plot-devices to create the story, instead of the development of story, chracter, and plot. Lets go

over the absurditity real quick :

(By the way you could count the absurdity like this for practically every scene in the movie)

A. It just happened that the very moment he was getting his jacket out of storage the rock activated.

B. Also is it just because he picked up the Cube shard that it activated, or was it simply coincidence? If just coincidence, then this is also

infinitely unlikely that the very first time he finds the shard and it activates he happens to be holding it and staring at it.

C. If simply picking it up and looking at was then what activated it (in order to not be infinitely coincidental) then what about all the other shards,

like the one in possession of the military. Why did they not activate when the military picked it up. Why did it not grant magical powers to that

military person.

D. Why if the one at his house caused all his electronic to come to life, did the one at the military not do so. Did they both not activate at the same

time. Then it must be activated by touch, but then anyone who had touched the other shards should als do have the magic knowledge.

E. Why when the cube was whole, was it less powerful than the shards? I mean, no one ever said it granted magic knowledge to people when it was a whole

cube. And it didn’t in the first film. When touched in the first one it didn’t do this. So apparently the cube has to be broken into countless pieces in

order to function completely.

F. If then it was chance and not touch that activated it. Then it just so happened that even though there are other cubes already in possession of other

people on earth that he was the only one near one when they activated. And why did they not melt anything it contacted and turn all the technology

around them into machines.

G. Why can robots created by the shard not aim even though they are the most advanced AI humans have ever seen? Why did they not cut his legs off when

he first opened his door?

H. WHy didn’t the bigger machines in the house transform?

I. Why would he give the shard to his girlfriend to hide on her when it could possibly burn a whole right through her?

J. Why did he even give the shard to her, he has a giant robot to protect his and she has nothing. (Fortunately they decided not send transformers that

could kill her in one hit to go get it, they sent a tranformer that could be killed with a text-book).

K. DO YOU GET THE IDEA??????? This is only my problems in the first scene of the movie involving Sam.

I literally had to fight all these common sense thoughts in my head while watching this scene. The problem was, I HAD TO FIGHT ALL THESE COMMON

SENSE QUESTIONS AT EVERY SCENE!

So when you write, “you can say the story wasn’t a good one, but it did make sense”, I am very very insulted, and concerned for you if you mean it,

that you didn’t have all these kinds of problems at every scene in this movie. I’m not joking, every scene in this movie was a full on attack on reason!

Reply

33 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:51 am

Part 3 of 3

David writes this, which makes no sense,
“It really is a good thing your not a movie critic because apparently your not even a movie WATCHER, next time try pay attention and understand the

BASIC plot points before you write a scathing review”

Anyways I’m done. You say I don’t understand the basic plot points because:

A. I thought they had to take on the machine, not just copy the machine. This has nothing to do with me understanding the movie, and proved to be a even

bigger problem bevause you were right.

B. I thought the cannibalization to revive megatron was pointless because of all the powers they now have in this movie. YOu disagree and think he was

necessary because he is a leader. I really was criticizing him for being immortal. This is a straw man argument if you know what that is.

C. I think sam was a bad choice for Alien-Ambassador to the world because he was a teenage college freshman that no one knows anything about. You

disagree. Again this does not prove your point.

D.I think that having knowledge on time-space theorems that correct einstein qualifies as super-human intelligence, you do not. Again this is the best

thing you can come up with as a rebuttal? Why not address my points that are damning. And again this doesn;t prove that I don’t know the movie.

E.I say that having pod-people like humans would give them the power to destroy the human race, and steal any remaining parts of the cube they need.

This would work and be very successful. You say I’m wrong because they want to blow up the earth. I never said they didn’t, in fact this would be the

quickest way of getting the parts we possess and blowing up the earth. But somehow this means I didn’t understand the movie.

You are wrong, and your rebuttal only made my review of the movie more damning; and made you look like a rabid fanboy unconcerned with the real

criticisms I made of this horrible film.

Joe Vickers
Not a Film Critic

Reply

34 Joe V July 16, 2009 at 12:51 am

Part 3 of 3

David writes this, which makes no sense,
“It really is a good thing your not a movie critic because apparently your not even a movie WATCHER, next time try pay attention and understand the

BASIC plot points before you write a scathing review”

Anyways I’m done. You say I don’t understand the basic plot points because:

A. I thought they had to take on the machine, not just copy the machine. This has nothing to do with me understanding the movie, and proved to be a even

bigger problem bevause you were right.

B. I thought the cannibalization to revive megatron was pointless because of all the powers they now have in this movie. YOu disagree and think he was

necessary because he is a leader. I really was criticizing him for being immortal. This is a straw man argument if you know what that is.

C. I think sam was a bad choice for Alien-Ambassador to the world because he was a teenage college freshman that no one knows anything about. You

disagree. Again this does not prove your point.

D.I think that having knowledge on time-space theorems that correct einstein qualifies as super-human intelligence, you do not. Again this is the best

thing you can come up with as a rebuttal? Why not address my points that are damning. And again this doesn;t prove that I don’t know the movie.

E.I say that having pod-people like humans would give them the power to destroy the human race, and steal any remaining parts of the cube they need.

This would work and be very successful. You say I’m wrong because they want to blow up the earth. I never said they didn’t, in fact this would be the

quickest way of getting the parts we possess and blowing up the earth. But somehow this means I didn’t understand the movie.

You are wrong, and your rebuttal only made my review of the movie more damning; and made you look like a rabid fanboy unconcerned with the real

criticisms I made of this horrible film.

Joe Vickers
Not a Film Critic

Reply

35 David July 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Once again Joe you seem to have misunderstood both what I said and what actually happened in the movie

1. I never said “they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they want, real or imaginary*” the transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them. The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons. Leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?
2. Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.
3. They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)
4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.
5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)
6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.
7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.
8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life
9. As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea
10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)
11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.
12. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.

Reply

36 David July 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Once again Joe you seem to have misunderstood both what I said and what actually happened in the movie

1. I never said “they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they want, real or imaginary*” the transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them. The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons. Leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?
2. Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.
3. They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)
4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.
5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)
6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.
7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.
8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life
9. As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea
10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)
11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.
12. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.

Reply

37 Joe V July 20, 2009 at 11:07 pm

“I never said “they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they want, real or imaginary*” the transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them. The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons. Leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?”

(1)
That doesn’t make any sense, its as though you think that if you use the word “disguise” that it somehow changes the fact that they are completely restructur9ing themselves instantaneously and becoming perfect copies of the machine they are copying.

“he transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them.”

Even if you say that they are “disguising … not turning into”; THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. Yes by completely changing their transformed form they have completely rebuilt themselves. Just because you use the word “disguise” doesn’t change the fact, that they have completely changed their form so that they can change into an exact replica of the object they copied. Thus they are taking on the form of the objects they copy, or imagine, just because you use the word “disguised” doesn’t change reality.

” The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons.”

Again, do you not realize you are being irrational?

You are saying:
“Megatron never changes form, and already has weapons. Therefor this somehow this means that the robots that actually relevant to this argument, the ones that changed form, are not changing form?”

That makes absolutely no sense. I can’t even comprehend what your argument is here. Are you saying that because Megatron has guns, that the Robots that transformed are not taking on the exact form of the machine, but instead disguising themselves? You realize this is a complete non-sequitar. I see you looked up deus-ex machina, feel free to look up non-sequitar too. By the way, the points I raised about deus-ex machina aren’t even something you can doubt.

But if I’m understanding you correctly you somehow have this information that was never provided in the movie, and is in direct contradiction to the events of the movie:

“The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it.”

You realize this is something you pulled out of your rear? You have made up a theory, and present as the reason why things happen. How do you know what they are “born with”. But that doesn’t even matter that you made that up.

Now listen closely, because you are embarrassing yourself. This is what you are saying:

“The reason transformers change form into different machines, is because they need costumes to hide their weapons.”

I realize you are unable to accept that this movie had its flaws, but you are making a fool of yourself when you make up things like this.

And its gets more absurd. Because megatron has guns, you have concluded that they transform into “costumes” only to hide their guns. And then you pull this little gem out, and its really hilarious:

“leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?”

Wow, just wow. So because megatron has guns, and he never changes form. You have developed a theory:

“Transformers are born with guns, and need earth machines to transform into to hide their guns”
…but heres the kicker:
“When humans change clothes, our wounds don’t heal. Therefor when tranformers change the form that they can transform into, turning themselves into a complete replica of the object formed with their own body parts, they obviously are just changing shirts. So when they have the power to physically change the makeup of their entire body, which is what they are doing, it is no different than changing a shirt… And because when humans change shirts it doesn’t heal them, robots completely restructuring their entire body into a new form, altering their physical makeup, they can’t even repair dents because clearly they are changing shirts.”

Are you really this dumb? I held off on mocking you, but seriously.

We see the transformers change into completely different machines, which requires them to restructure their body so they can fold themselves into these new machines. And they apparently have the power to shape-shift like this instantly. All of this is undeniable.

Now That I’m done making fun of the complete idiocy that you presented. (Seriously, when the robots change their entire form, its no different then changing clothes. And they only change forms, and transform, so they can wear different “costumes” to hide their weapons…wow)

Now here was my point, that you were unable to comprehend.

*Why they are now shape shifters*

1. We see transformers changing the machines that they can use for their transformed mode.

2. Changing what you transform into means you are restructuring your entire body, because your transformed mode, is your body folding and connecting in ways to create that machine.

( This is the reason transformer toys work, but clearly if they can change hte machines they transform into, they are no longer just transformers but shape shifters, that deny the laws of physics. Clearly your toy transformer can’t start as a robot and a corvette, but then on a whim have transform into an airplane. This would require you to completely rebuild and restructure the toy. )

3. In fact the physical appearance of the transformers in their humanoid form after shape-shifting, is altered as well.

3. Their are now transformers that have taken on the shape of imaginary machines in their transformed modes, which are more effective transforming into earth machines.

4. These means undeniably that they can shape-shift into machines without having to have a machine to copy. This is undeniable logic. If they can transform into a magical panda with wings, they clearly did not need to copy a machine to make that form.

5. So why then, are the robots choosing to take on the form of hybrid cars, or semi trucks, when they could transform into unstopable killing machines that they think up.

6. Originally they transformed to blend in to human society. But now that everyone knows about them, and they aren;t trying to sneak around but wage war: It would only make sense that, sense we see they can change the machine they become in their transformed mode, they would now change into bad ass weapons of war. (They didn’t transform to change “costumes” just to “hide their weapons”; nor is transforming like “changing clothes”, as you so retardidly put it)

Conclussion:

Transformers still have two modes they can take on (although we see a few that take on even more):

Humanoid and Transformed mode.

And now we see in the movie, that they can change the machine that they become in their Transformed Mode instantaneously: Shape-Shifting

When doing this it completely alters the structure and mechanics of the robot, which it would have to do, see toy example. This is evident, and proven, as when they Shape-Shift their Humanoid form changes in a appearance as well: it has to so that all of its body parts and reorganize into the new machine.

So they have the power to completely change into any machine. Now this would be somewhat not-rediculous, if they could only Shape-Shift into machines they encounter and can copy. But as is clearly shown, many of the transformers Transformed-Modes are now IMAGINARY machines. Obviously if the form isn’t a real life machine, then they didn’t have to copy from anything in order to Shape-Shift.

So the transformers now have the power to shape-shift into any machine they can imagine nearly instantly. Even if you deny this irefutable argument, you cannot deny that they can shape-shift into any machine they encounter. Perhaps their is some limitation in regards to conservation of mass, but they could still be far more badd-ass than a hybrid-car.

And of course if they can Shape-Shift their entire body into a new machine that can tranform into a completely new form they can do one real easy thing too:

Heal themselves. If they have the power to re-shape metal, and reconstruct a machine more complicated than anything humans will ever build, all in a moment; then they can use this Shape-Shifting power to fix any dents, dings, broken gears, broken circuits, what have you.

Now please, don’t come back and make more of a fool of youself.

If you tell me that: The robots are “born with weapons” and they only tranform for one reason, “hiding their weapons”. And when they transform it is no different then wearing a “costume”, and is the equivallent of a human “changing clothes”>

(2)

You write,
“Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.”

You just explained that Megatron can be resurrected. All you need are spare parts and a piece of a magic cube….

…Do you not realize that this would make any robot immortal, all they need is one of many little pieces of rock, and spare parts from a newly spawned transformer (that apparently is going to die anyways), and you are now: IMMORATAL.

Just because you need a rock and a robot to live forever, doesn’t mean your not immortal. If humans had a immortality-potion that would bring you revive you, even after being “killed” (which if u can be brought back you were not killed), that this would make people immortal.

Seriously, you just get dumber and dumber.

(3)

You write,
“They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)”

Do you not realize you are unintelligent? Apparently you are also delusional. They did not once “defer” to him in the first movie.

And yes he had an experience ONE-DAY with batteling robots.

But did YOU not watch the movie? There is a whole army of humans and robots that are fighting side by side each other every day, versus a single day of action for Sam. They have to communicate, cooperate, and understand each other in order to be successful. Their are team leaders, scientists, and politicians working with this team.

Your right, his one day of fighting with robots makes him an “AUTHORITY” on them. Far more so then the scientists and generals who are working every day and doing research on transformers, while simultaneously hunting down their mutual enemy.

Your right though….these guys would defnitely understand everything better if a random teenager, who keeps a robot in his garage, came and explained it to them. I mean he seems absolutely vital and worth travelling half way around the world to pick up when he possesses no special powers (that they know of).

No the politcians, marines, scientists, archeolgists and team-mates who work every day with the robots, definitely need a teenage kid to explain things to them. NOTE MY SARACSM

Stop being so stupid, will you just admit that this movie had some horrible flaws, your coming off retarded now.

(4) Oh man, you really arn;t smart, this is going to be funny

“4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.” -you wrote

“The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time”

Wow…you are unintelligent. The rock is deus-ex machina in the first scene. YOu are telling everyone that the rock has been active the entire time it was in his closet…really?

A. So despite it being “active” it only turns into the worlds hottest object that melts through his entire house when he gets it out of his jacket. His jacet must have been lined with a titanium alloy then.

B. And it was active the whole time right? So somehow his jacket was preventing it from turning all the machines in his house into transformers? Do you not realize this??????

Clearly it activated when he got it out. No one would side with you on this.

Oh and you came up with another great thing PULLED OUT OF YOUR BUTT. You somehow know that he never wore that jacket until he got it out of the closest, as though we only put things in closests for deep storage.

And even though he calls it his lucky jacket, he never once wore it since the first movie. Right.

Ya, you just got obliterated and your idiocy is becoming more and more apparent

(5)

“5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

“clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people”

So no one picked up the rock before it was placed into its storage area? Your right, someone must have seen a rock, and known instantly that the rock was part of an alien cube that the millitary needed. And they also knew not to touch it, because as we all know, rocks will melt right through you and turn your laptop into an evil ass-raping robot.

“id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

Clearly, I like how you know things that not even the director probably thought about.

And of course, it must be the radiation???? Where do you get these idiotic thoughts of yours?

I hope sam doesn;t get cancer from all that radiation.

(6)

“6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.”

You sir, are retarded, You mean to tell me, that they “served different purposes”.

So the robots planned on having the cube EXPLODED. Because of course that would happen, clearly. And then, only once shattered into little pieces, will it grant magic knowledge to the holder. Because the original; cube didn’t do this.

“The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge”

Wow, I love your magic crap that you pull out of your ass. Clearly the cube is self-aware; i mean theres no mention of this anywhere, but you know this clearly!

You are so smart that you can make up things that aren’t part of the movie in order to defend your irrational points. You sir are so smart!

As you put it this all “stands to reason”….Dude I really hope you are around 12 years old.

(7) Oh this one is hilarious.

“7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.”

Wow, you are stupid. Robots are machines, they work based on calculations, I really don;t need to explain to you why a robot capable of emulating emotion and doing things far beyond our technology can’t aim as well as robots we have already built.

Its like saying this:

“Well you know my calculator just came out of the box, its still a baby. Once I use my calculator for a couple of years, it will give me accurate results”

Do ya get it???? Its not a matter of learning, its a matter of calculating.

” I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned.”

You assume wrong, as always. When a robot is created with the capability of aiming and shooting, they is no learning required. Does my calculator have to learn how to multiply???? No. It was built able to multiply, it was built able to aim. There is no reason a computer wouldn’t have perfect aim.

(8)

“8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life”

I love how you know things that no one else knows. I wish I was able to assume some quality back into this movie.

I should just assume that the robots are retarded because they huffed robot paint when they were little. I like this assuming thing you do, it makes the movie not suck.

(9)

“As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea”

Your right, clearly I would give my beloved girl friend something that nearly just killed me, and something that evil robots will want to hunt down. I mean, I hope that once shes in bed it turns her alarm clock into a dagger-former that stabs her brains out. I mean its the responsible thing to do.

I mean, giving it to your three-story giant robot that can actually defend himself wouldn;t make any sense.

And seriously, bumblebee still can’t talk? I mean, they don’t know how to plug in speakers? Its so childish, and clearly just something to be funny like all the other retarded traits they gave the robots. I mean, he is an advanced AI capable of chaning from a sports-car to a giant humanoid robot: but he can’t figure out how to form words. Of course.

(10)

“10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

LMFAO

“If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted.”

Your right, you clearly know how sensitive robots are, and how bad for robot self-esteem it would be to accomplish your goal the quickest way possible.

I mean, certainly they wouldn’t want to guarantee success by using their powers to transform into humans to conquer, steal and kill everyone and everything they need too with no way of being stopped….

God no! This would be bad for their self-esteem!

OMG , THIS IS THE FUNNIEST CRAP YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN:
“If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? ANyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or im not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy.

Again, you know hwy they didn’t do the most effective and logical thing! You don’t need it to be part of the story, or logical, even the intention of the writers and director: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO ASSUME!

You assume the robots are to embarassed to want to want gurantee their own success! OF COURSE, CLEARLY I SHOULD ASSUME THIS TOO!

This is what you do. I’ll assume esomething to explain the irrational behaviour: I assume that the robots were scared of getting yeast infections, so they woudn’t become human! CLEARLY!
OR I assume they hate feeling of being human….of course it all makes sense!

OMG YOU ARE RETARDED.

(11)

“11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.”

Wow, you don’t even understand what plot is. The robots say they need him as an ambassador, but this really isn’t good enough for the story to make sense. So lets make it that he has magic knowledge from handling the rock, and only he has this knowledge. Now HES IMPORTANT!

Couldn’t they just make more people like him with the other rocks, and not have to worry about him? I mean if they have the rock, they could give this magic power to a soldier who could at least defend himself a little more.

And you are right, of course knowledge about transformers would make him behave as follows: I mean of course he would be uncontrollably compelled to go and write a forumula on the board in contradiciton to his teacher. This wasn’t just as cheesy way of trying to create a funny scene. No, no, you know that its far deeper than that right?

Clearly a broken piece of a magical cube will have more powers than the original cube did, and as you assumed it must be self-aware as well. And it now grants magic knowledge, but apprently it also makes you have no self-control and have to go and correct your science teacher on astronomy because clearly that serves some purpose…somehow…

Man you are f’ing retarded.

(12)

“2. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.”

You don’t even understand what you are talking about. I’m not explaining this to you.

Conclusion:

You seem to think that even thought this movie contradicts reason; and even though none of the characters behave in the logical or rational way, and even though The robots never make the most sensible decision in accomplishing their goals; that you have a way of making it all make sense;

You get to assume things that were never part of the movie, hell you assume things that the directors and writers certainly never intended to be assumed. But you jsut know!

You assume the robots are “born with guns” and don’t transform, but “disguise” themselves in “costumes”, for one reason: hiding their weapons using their costumes.

You assume the Decepticons have to much pride to do the thing that makes the most sense, and is teh easiest way to accomplish their goals. But you know they don;t do this jsut because the movie is poorly written, but becuse doing it this way would hurt their self-esteem.

You assume the cube is radioactive.

You assume he never wore his jacket again.

YOu assume that the milllitary managed to find the rock and that no one ever touched it, Even though it just looks like a rock and no one would think any diffrently from picking it up. But know, you know that somehow the millitary found the rock before anyone else, and recognized it, and never had a human come in contact with it. Because they apparently somehow knew that the rock fragments have more powers than the original cube rock, and can grant magic knowledge. Wait wouldn’t they want this knowloedge?

You assume computers can;t aim because they are like human babies, and have to learn to aim, like we learn to walk. I mean sure my calculator has to learn to multiply too, they never work right out of the box.

Anyways you get the idea.

You can’t defeend this movie, so you place your own assumptions about different scenarios of the movie in a poor attempt to make the movie make sense. But even your assumptions wouldn’t be good logic for how this movie panned out. And even if they did, your assumptions arn;t based on reason, but are simply your imagination.

You somehow know how robots are when they are born, even though no one ever talks about that, and even the director and writers wouldn’t have known these things. But you know, and because you make these crazy assumptions, you think that this makes it a good movie.

If someone has a gun in a movie, but instead of shooting his attacker, he gets in a fist fight, and risks his life; that make sno sense. This is exactly how this movie was in every scene. But you think its good because you assume, well he was out of ammo in that clip, even though no one said that, and no where was that even indicated.

Do you get it? You are retarded too, just read the post. Sad. Sad.

Reply

38 Joe V July 20, 2009 at 11:07 pm

“I never said “they don’t even need to have machines around to copy into, they can change into any machine they want, real or imaginary*” the transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them. The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons. Leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?”

(1)
That doesn’t make any sense, its as though you think that if you use the word “disguise” that it somehow changes the fact that they are completely restructur9ing themselves instantaneously and becoming perfect copies of the machine they are copying.

“he transformers are disguising themselves as machines not turning into them.”

Even if you say that they are “disguising … not turning into”; THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. Yes by completely changing their transformed form they have completely rebuilt themselves. Just because you use the word “disguise” doesn’t change the fact, that they have completely changed their form so that they can change into an exact replica of the object they copied. Thus they are taking on the form of the objects they copy, or imagine, just because you use the word “disguised” doesn’t change reality.

” The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it. For example megatron is never shown taking on the appearance of any machinery yet he still has weapons.”

Again, do you not realize you are being irrational?

You are saying:
“Megatron never changes form, and already has weapons. Therefor this somehow this means that the robots that actually relevant to this argument, the ones that changed form, are not changing form?”

That makes absolutely no sense. I can’t even comprehend what your argument is here. Are you saying that because Megatron has guns, that the Robots that transformed are not taking on the exact form of the machine, but instead disguising themselves? You realize this is a complete non-sequitar. I see you looked up deus-ex machina, feel free to look up non-sequitar too. By the way, the points I raised about deus-ex machina aren’t even something you can doubt.

But if I’m understanding you correctly you somehow have this information that was never provided in the movie, and is in direct contradiction to the events of the movie:

“The already have the weaponry, the various costumes they wear are simply to hide it.”

You realize this is something you pulled out of your rear? You have made up a theory, and present as the reason why things happen. How do you know what they are “born with”. But that doesn’t even matter that you made that up.

Now listen closely, because you are embarrassing yourself. This is what you are saying:

“The reason transformers change form into different machines, is because they need costumes to hide their weapons.”

I realize you are unable to accept that this movie had its flaws, but you are making a fool of yourself when you make up things like this.

And its gets more absurd. Because megatron has guns, you have concluded that they transform into “costumes” only to hide their guns. And then you pull this little gem out, and its really hilarious:

“leading us to assume they are “born” with weapons and just use earth machinery disguises to hide them. Which also removes your assumption that changing disguises would heal injuries. Do your cuts heal when u change cloths?”

Wow, just wow. So because megatron has guns, and he never changes form. You have developed a theory:

“Transformers are born with guns, and need earth machines to transform into to hide their guns”
…but heres the kicker:
“When humans change clothes, our wounds don’t heal. Therefor when tranformers change the form that they can transform into, turning themselves into a complete replica of the object formed with their own body parts, they obviously are just changing shirts. So when they have the power to physically change the makeup of their entire body, which is what they are doing, it is no different than changing a shirt… And because when humans change shirts it doesn’t heal them, robots completely restructuring their entire body into a new form, altering their physical makeup, they can’t even repair dents because clearly they are changing shirts.”

Are you really this dumb? I held off on mocking you, but seriously.

We see the transformers change into completely different machines, which requires them to restructure their body so they can fold themselves into these new machines. And they apparently have the power to shape-shift like this instantly. All of this is undeniable.

Now That I’m done making fun of the complete idiocy that you presented. (Seriously, when the robots change their entire form, its no different then changing clothes. And they only change forms, and transform, so they can wear different “costumes” to hide their weapons…wow)

Now here was my point, that you were unable to comprehend.

*Why they are now shape shifters*

1. We see transformers changing the machines that they can use for their transformed mode.

2. Changing what you transform into means you are restructuring your entire body, because your transformed mode, is your body folding and connecting in ways to create that machine.

( This is the reason transformer toys work, but clearly if they can change hte machines they transform into, they are no longer just transformers but shape shifters, that deny the laws of physics. Clearly your toy transformer can’t start as a robot and a corvette, but then on a whim have transform into an airplane. This would require you to completely rebuild and restructure the toy. )

3. In fact the physical appearance of the transformers in their humanoid form after shape-shifting, is altered as well.

3. Their are now transformers that have taken on the shape of imaginary machines in their transformed modes, which are more effective transforming into earth machines.

4. These means undeniably that they can shape-shift into machines without having to have a machine to copy. This is undeniable logic. If they can transform into a magical panda with wings, they clearly did not need to copy a machine to make that form.

5. So why then, are the robots choosing to take on the form of hybrid cars, or semi trucks, when they could transform into unstopable killing machines that they think up.

6. Originally they transformed to blend in to human society. But now that everyone knows about them, and they aren;t trying to sneak around but wage war: It would only make sense that, sense we see they can change the machine they become in their transformed mode, they would now change into bad ass weapons of war. (They didn’t transform to change “costumes” just to “hide their weapons”; nor is transforming like “changing clothes”, as you so retardidly put it)

Conclussion:

Transformers still have two modes they can take on (although we see a few that take on even more):

Humanoid and Transformed mode.

And now we see in the movie, that they can change the machine that they become in their Transformed Mode instantaneously: Shape-Shifting

When doing this it completely alters the structure and mechanics of the robot, which it would have to do, see toy example. This is evident, and proven, as when they Shape-Shift their Humanoid form changes in a appearance as well: it has to so that all of its body parts and reorganize into the new machine.

So they have the power to completely change into any machine. Now this would be somewhat not-rediculous, if they could only Shape-Shift into machines they encounter and can copy. But as is clearly shown, many of the transformers Transformed-Modes are now IMAGINARY machines. Obviously if the form isn’t a real life machine, then they didn’t have to copy from anything in order to Shape-Shift.

So the transformers now have the power to shape-shift into any machine they can imagine nearly instantly. Even if you deny this irefutable argument, you cannot deny that they can shape-shift into any machine they encounter. Perhaps their is some limitation in regards to conservation of mass, but they could still be far more badd-ass than a hybrid-car.

And of course if they can Shape-Shift their entire body into a new machine that can tranform into a completely new form they can do one real easy thing too:

Heal themselves. If they have the power to re-shape metal, and reconstruct a machine more complicated than anything humans will ever build, all in a moment; then they can use this Shape-Shifting power to fix any dents, dings, broken gears, broken circuits, what have you.

Now please, don’t come back and make more of a fool of youself.

If you tell me that: The robots are “born with weapons” and they only tranform for one reason, “hiding their weapons”. And when they transform it is no different then wearing a “costume”, and is the equivallent of a human “changing clothes”>

(2)

You write,
“Megatron is not in any way immortal, they used a shard of the cube to revive him and the parts of a fellow deception to rebuild him completely. It has always been assumed that the cube had the ability to restore life, and seeing as how the cube and all its pieces are gone they cannot revive anymore robots.”

You just explained that Megatron can be resurrected. All you need are spare parts and a piece of a magic cube….

…Do you not realize that this would make any robot immortal, all they need is one of many little pieces of rock, and spare parts from a newly spawned transformer (that apparently is going to die anyways), and you are now: IMMORATAL.

Just because you need a rock and a robot to live forever, doesn’t mean your not immortal. If humans had a immortality-potion that would bring you revive you, even after being “killed” (which if u can be brought back you were not killed), that this would make people immortal.

Seriously, you just get dumber and dumber.

(3)

You write,
“They didn’t want Sam to be an ambassador to the world, they wanted him to be a form of liason to the government, who KNOW who Sam is, they KNOW what he did in the first film, they KNOW he has more experience with the robots than anyone, and they showed in the first movie they were willing to defer to him in such matters, which id say even by your definition makes him and ATHOURITY on their culture. (and that is even before he had the ancestral knowledge of the transformers in his mind)”

Do you not realize you are unintelligent? Apparently you are also delusional. They did not once “defer” to him in the first movie.

And yes he had an experience ONE-DAY with batteling robots.

But did YOU not watch the movie? There is a whole army of humans and robots that are fighting side by side each other every day, versus a single day of action for Sam. They have to communicate, cooperate, and understand each other in order to be successful. Their are team leaders, scientists, and politicians working with this team.

Your right, his one day of fighting with robots makes him an “AUTHORITY” on them. Far more so then the scientists and generals who are working every day and doing research on transformers, while simultaneously hunting down their mutual enemy.

Your right though….these guys would defnitely understand everything better if a random teenager, who keeps a robot in his garage, came and explained it to them. I mean he seems absolutely vital and worth travelling half way around the world to pick up when he possesses no special powers (that they know of).

No the politcians, marines, scientists, archeolgists and team-mates who work every day with the robots, definitely need a teenage kid to explain things to them. NOTE MY SARACSM

Stop being so stupid, will you just admit that this movie had some horrible flaws, your coming off retarded now.

(4) Oh man, you really arn;t smart, this is going to be funny

“4. The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time (he doesn’t really have much cause to wear a sweatshirt that I TORN TO SHREDS and has BLOOD on it, so he keeps it as more of a memorabilia jersey) and seeing as how it is never washed or warn, it’s not hard to believe he never saw the shard before this point.” -you wrote

“The cube shard does not activate all of a sudden, it had always been active, Sam just happen to see the shard for the first time”

Wow…you are unintelligent. The rock is deus-ex machina in the first scene. YOu are telling everyone that the rock has been active the entire time it was in his closet…really?

A. So despite it being “active” it only turns into the worlds hottest object that melts through his entire house when he gets it out of his jacket. His jacet must have been lined with a titanium alloy then.

B. And it was active the whole time right? So somehow his jacket was preventing it from turning all the machines in his house into transformers? Do you not realize this??????

Clearly it activated when he got it out. No one would side with you on this.

Oh and you came up with another great thing PULLED OUT OF YOUR BUTT. You somehow know that he never wore that jacket until he got it out of the closest, as though we only put things in closests for deep storage.

And even though he calls it his lucky jacket, he never once wore it since the first movie. Right.

Ya, you just got obliterated and your idiocy is becoming more and more apparent

(5)

“5. The shard in the military base is clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people, id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

“clearly handled with extreme care and kept out of physical contact with people”

So no one picked up the rock before it was placed into its storage area? Your right, someone must have seen a rock, and known instantly that the rock was part of an alien cube that the millitary needed. And they also knew not to touch it, because as we all know, rocks will melt right through you and turn your laptop into an evil ass-raping robot.

“id assume both due to radiation and because of the power the realized it had, certain precautions were clearly taken (this Is obvious when they show how it is kept in a glass case with god knows what else keeping it at bay)”

Clearly, I like how you know things that not even the director probably thought about.

And of course, it must be the radiation???? Where do you get these idiotic thoughts of yours?

I hope sam doesn;t get cancer from all that radiation.

(6)

“6. As for the cube being more powerful as shards…..it isn’t it just serves a different purpose. The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge(for fear of having generations of information lost much like many computer systems do today), but when it is whole its job is to protect such knowledge (much like a safe, which explains this not happening in the first movie). Which pretty much falls in line with what the cube did. When almost destroyed it gave its knowledge to Sam.”

You sir, are retarded, You mean to tell me, that they “served different purposes”.

So the robots planned on having the cube EXPLODED. Because of course that would happen, clearly. And then, only once shattered into little pieces, will it grant magic knowledge to the holder. Because the original; cube didn’t do this.

“The cube contained all the knowledge of the transformers (who as u pointed out are very advanced), so it stands to reason that when its well being is threatened it would want to transfer such knowledge”

Wow, I love your magic crap that you pull out of your ass. Clearly the cube is self-aware; i mean theres no mention of this anywhere, but you know this clearly!

You are so smart that you can make up things that aren’t part of the movie in order to defend your irrational points. You sir are so smart!

As you put it this all “stands to reason”….Dude I really hope you are around 12 years old.

(7) Oh this one is hilarious.

“7. As for the robots lack of aim, ask your selves why can’t babies speak , or better if you cloned yourself would you posses all the skills you had learned over a lifetime, you’d have the same body but I doubt you would have the same skills. I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned. Which also explains the robots odd temperament when first created.”

Wow, you are stupid. Robots are machines, they work based on calculations, I really don;t need to explain to you why a robot capable of emulating emotion and doing things far beyond our technology can’t aim as well as robots we have already built.

Its like saying this:

“Well you know my calculator just came out of the box, its still a baby. Once I use my calculator for a couple of years, it will give me accurate results”

Do ya get it???? Its not a matter of learning, its a matter of calculating.

” I assume delicate movements such as aim, judgment, reason, and of course leg cutting skills are learned.”

You assume wrong, as always. When a robot is created with the capability of aiming and shooting, they is no learning required. Does my calculator have to learn how to multiply???? No. It was built able to multiply, it was built able to aim. There is no reason a computer wouldn’t have perfect aim.

(8)

“8. I assume the once out of touch with a living organism for a couple of seconds the cube stops working, hence it not bringing EVERYTHING to life”

I love how you know things that no one else knows. I wish I was able to assume some quality back into this movie.

I should just assume that the robots are retarded because they huffed robot paint when they were little. I like this assuming thing you do, it makes the movie not suck.

(9)

“As for giving his girlfriend the shard , had things gone wrong she would have been closer to bumblebee (seeing as how BB didn’t go to college with him).plus as shown he just wanted to be normal, and taking a magical shard of alien technology to college is rarely a good idea”

Your right, clearly I would give my beloved girl friend something that nearly just killed me, and something that evil robots will want to hunt down. I mean, I hope that once shes in bed it turns her alarm clock into a dagger-former that stabs her brains out. I mean its the responsible thing to do.

I mean, giving it to your three-story giant robot that can actually defend himself wouldn;t make any sense.

And seriously, bumblebee still can’t talk? I mean, they don’t know how to plug in speakers? Its so childish, and clearly just something to be funny like all the other retarded traits they gave the robots. I mean, he is an advanced AI capable of chaning from a sports-car to a giant humanoid robot: but he can’t figure out how to form words. Of course.

(10)

“10. As for the pod like people, If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted. The deceptions saw themselves as all powerful compared to the human race and anticipated being able to muscle what they wanted away from us. If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

LMFAO

“If you were an arrogant group of giant warrior robots who wanted to take something from a species you saw as backward, would you choose to lower yourself to their standard or just TAKE BY FORCE what you wanted.”

Your right, you clearly know how sensitive robots are, and how bad for robot self-esteem it would be to accomplish your goal the quickest way possible.

I mean, certainly they wouldn’t want to guarantee success by using their powers to transform into humans to conquer, steal and kill everyone and everything they need too with no way of being stopped….

God no! This would be bad for their self-esteem!

OMG , THIS IS THE FUNNIEST CRAP YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN:
“If I knew a group of puppies were hiding my car keys I wouldn’t’ pretend to be one of them to get it, I would find the keys and then take them by force (of course no puppies would be injured)”

You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? ANyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or im not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy.

Again, you know hwy they didn’t do the most effective and logical thing! You don’t need it to be part of the story, or logical, even the intention of the writers and director: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO ASSUME!

You assume the robots are to embarassed to want to want gurantee their own success! OF COURSE, CLEARLY I SHOULD ASSUME THIS TOO!

This is what you do. I’ll assume esomething to explain the irrational behaviour: I assume that the robots were scared of getting yeast infections, so they woudn’t become human! CLEARLY!
OR I assume they hate feeling of being human….of course it all makes sense!

OMG YOU ARE RETARDED.

(11)

“11. Lastly my comment about super human intelligence was referring to the fact that his possession of such knowledge is in line with the movie plot, that it isn’t some new useless unexplained convenient phenomenon, gaining the knowledge of an advanced star faring alien race would obviously include formulas on attaining the speed of line and on how to traverse the stars, which are the mathematical corrections he was making to the astronomy book.”

Wow, you don’t even understand what plot is. The robots say they need him as an ambassador, but this really isn’t good enough for the story to make sense. So lets make it that he has magic knowledge from handling the rock, and only he has this knowledge. Now HES IMPORTANT!

Couldn’t they just make more people like him with the other rocks, and not have to worry about him? I mean if they have the rock, they could give this magic power to a soldier who could at least defend himself a little more.

And you are right, of course knowledge about transformers would make him behave as follows: I mean of course he would be uncontrollably compelled to go and write a forumula on the board in contradiciton to his teacher. This wasn’t just as cheesy way of trying to create a funny scene. No, no, you know that its far deeper than that right?

Clearly a broken piece of a magical cube will have more powers than the original cube did, and as you assumed it must be self-aware as well. And it now grants magic knowledge, but apprently it also makes you have no self-control and have to go and correct your science teacher on astronomy because clearly that serves some purpose…somehow…

Man you are f’ing retarded.

(12)

“2. Lastly I think you need to take a second look at the concept of Deus-ex Machina, most things in this movie were in line with previously established plot points so nothing really appeared out of nowhere. There was a clearly established line of cause and effect for everything that happened. The only thing you may take issue with is the revival of Sam after his death, but then again he was holding a piece of alien tech whose purpose was to revive GIANT organisms, I doubt it would have trouble with tiny person.”

You don’t even understand what you are talking about. I’m not explaining this to you.

Conclusion:

You seem to think that even thought this movie contradicts reason; and even though none of the characters behave in the logical or rational way, and even though The robots never make the most sensible decision in accomplishing their goals; that you have a way of making it all make sense;

You get to assume things that were never part of the movie, hell you assume things that the directors and writers certainly never intended to be assumed. But you jsut know!

You assume the robots are “born with guns” and don’t transform, but “disguise” themselves in “costumes”, for one reason: hiding their weapons using their costumes.

You assume the Decepticons have to much pride to do the thing that makes the most sense, and is teh easiest way to accomplish their goals. But you know they don;t do this jsut because the movie is poorly written, but becuse doing it this way would hurt their self-esteem.

You assume the cube is radioactive.

You assume he never wore his jacket again.

YOu assume that the milllitary managed to find the rock and that no one ever touched it, Even though it just looks like a rock and no one would think any diffrently from picking it up. But know, you know that somehow the millitary found the rock before anyone else, and recognized it, and never had a human come in contact with it. Because they apparently somehow knew that the rock fragments have more powers than the original cube rock, and can grant magic knowledge. Wait wouldn’t they want this knowloedge?

You assume computers can;t aim because they are like human babies, and have to learn to aim, like we learn to walk. I mean sure my calculator has to learn to multiply too, they never work right out of the box.

Anyways you get the idea.

You can’t defeend this movie, so you place your own assumptions about different scenarios of the movie in a poor attempt to make the movie make sense. But even your assumptions wouldn’t be good logic for how this movie panned out. And even if they did, your assumptions arn;t based on reason, but are simply your imagination.

You somehow know how robots are when they are born, even though no one ever talks about that, and even the director and writers wouldn’t have known these things. But you know, and because you make these crazy assumptions, you think that this makes it a good movie.

If someone has a gun in a movie, but instead of shooting his attacker, he gets in a fist fight, and risks his life; that make sno sense. This is exactly how this movie was in every scene. But you think its good because you assume, well he was out of ammo in that clip, even though no one said that, and no where was that even indicated.

Do you get it? You are retarded too, just read the post. Sad. Sad.

Reply

39 David July 23, 2009 at 2:16 am

1)the very fact that megatron traveled through space from his HOME WORLD in possession of these various weapons means he ALWAYS HAD THEM, the weapons are not something he took from earth technology, in fact it is mentioned that human REVERSE engineered much of the weaponry we posses now from them.
Again pointing to the fact that the transformers are born with weapons, much like animals on this planet are born with weapons (claws teeth stingers etc.)
My statement on the various “costumes” worn by the transformers to was to simplify this one fact of you in a way you could understand TRANSFORMING DOES NOT HEAL THEM. And the word disguise means to hide by any means, the way I used it was to refer to a combination of hologram technology (which they make a big display of them possessing)and physical restructuring which creates the transformers that we see)
Let me make it simple if a transformer was a truck then got pulled in half and one half was destroyed, it simply would not have enough machinery to again morph in to the same truck.
As you seem so ready to state they restructure themselves, they do not CREATE something from nothing (they simply move around what is already in place), which also speaks to how they are not able to transform into giant machines at will
The humanoid bodies shown at the conclusion of the film are the transformers PRIOR to acquiring the earth disguises this is them in their natural form (which is why they resemble the transformers from the atmosphere entry scene in the first movie) , meaning what you see is all the machinery they have to work with in their transformations, and as is plainly shown even when they haven’t taken on the form of human machines THEY HAVE WEAPONS, again meaning THEY HAVE ALWAYS HAD THEM
Lastly as to why they didn’t shed their disguises at the end this of course is due to the fact that in order for the humans to tell them apart they have to look like they have been looking. If optimus suddenly changed into his original body NOBODY WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM, and during a battle those kind of mishaps tend to lead to disasters. Also being a MOVIE, it would be nice if the audience was able to tell which character was which. I’m almost a hundred percent sure if they had gone with your plan and had them change into their original bodies you would have come here crying that it was too confusing.
2) You must be some kind of retard , they spent the ENTIRE first movie explaining the importance of the cube (as you called it a random rock) and how it is the only one of its kind, they do not understand it or know how to make more of it. so once it was destroyed (melted leaving only two pieces left) that kind of made it RARE. Meaning the act of resurrection could only be done twice using the cube. So megatron again IS NOT IMMORTAL. After the brought him back they could not bring anyone else back. And if he died again they could not bring him back. As for this potion analogy, if there was a table spoon of a potion to bring people back to life and one had to drink an entire table spoon, I doubt that would make humans immortal. It would just mean ONE PERSON ONE TIME would have a second chance and that would be it.
As what is this retardedness =”which if u can be brought back you were not killed” I’m pretty sure to be brought back from death you have to DIE aka be killed, and let’s not argue what dead means to a transformer seeing as how we can’t even define it in human humans
3) they didn’t defer to him? Did they not release the most powerful known piece of technology into his hands in the first movie, did they not come his home and bring his family into for questioning, did the secretary of defense not personally ask him to explain things to him, did they not release a powerful alien robot into his custody based on his word alone. DID HE NOT SAVE THE ENTIRE PLANET PERSONALLY in the first movie.
I don’t’ know what world you live in but when someone saves the planet that kinda sort of makes their voice important. As for him knowing more than the scientists and politicians, they knew the autobots in a working relationship, some of them weren’t even allowed to know optimus was their leader (a fact which is made apparent during the teleconference). Sam on the other hand knew THEM, not their job skills, he knew THEM. And if I want a person’s intentions towards something I care about (the planet) to be vouched for I’m damn sure going to ask someone who knows them not someone who works with them. Additionally you make it seem as if by asking sam they were not allowed to speak with the special ops unit that works with them, how would the addition of another voice NOT help. How would Sam speaking out NOT make their case stronger. If you know anything about law or pretty much anything in general the more character witnesses and recommendations you have the stronger your case looks.

4. you are clearly CLEARLY a retard in this entire section
The cube was meant to respond to life, example (don’t choke on this one like you did the last) If I have a touch screen iphone in my pocket powered on is it doing anything notable (assuming wifi is of and push is disabled etc) but once I TOUCH it miraculous things happen, it can call people it can turn on my computer, I can surf the web like MAGIC. I’m going to walk you through this one in this analogy the iphone is the shard, I would be Sam. When I sam touch the shard (iphone) it hums to life. Though unlike me with my iphone Sam does not know how to use the cube. So his touch does things he did not intend (burning things, bringing machines to life)
As for him not wearing it, do you know NOTHING about memorabilia, if I bought a babe ruth authentic worn jersey and called it my lucky jersey would I wear it NO. WHY? Because it would be ruined, or destroyed. This is more true in sams case because the jersey is already falling apart.

5)WOW, you’re a genuine low functioning retard I feel bad for even arguing with you lol
a)the shard was left on a battle ground which was swarming with US military personnel who KNEW what they were fighting and what the cube was. So yes if one of them picked it up(which I’m pretty sure they would seeing as how it was classified) they WOULD know what it was , they WOULD take precautions and they WOULD whatever other idiotic thing you can think of
b) The cube came from space, and had been floating in space before it crashed on earth, which I don’t’ know if you know anything about our universe but without protection (the Van Allen Belts protect earth) any object in space is BLASTED with deadly levels of radiation, as such anything on earth from space emits radiation
c) even moving out of the common sense sphere it is clearly shown in the first movie that they transformers and all their machinery give of radiation (shown by the Van Allen Belts agents using Geiger counters (look it up)
d) you are clearly an idiot
6. the original plan on both sides had nothing to do with the knowledge stored in the cube you dimwit, they wanted it because it had the power to create life, which is what their home planet lacked (this is shown when it bring back to life the mini killer robot in the army base in the first movie) so NO they didn’t’ want to shatter it yo u idiot
As for the cube being self aware, I didn’t realize that that was a requirement in order for a machine to have a fail safe. Again if you know anything about modern computer systems MANY data bases are programmed to transfer their information to safer quarters when they are damaged. I even have a computer which does this when a virus is detected. And I can assure you as far as I know my laptop is not self aware.
7. you continue to show how truly uneducated and stupid u really are.
The entire premise of this was that the transformers are MORE THAN MACHINES. They are capable of learning and are much like us in that way, they must be taught things. For example in the first movie when the autobots are introduced they state they LEARNED earths languages through television and radio broadcasts. They LEARNED. And seeing as how they are a little more complex than calculator your analogy makes no sense. For example does my calculator know how to run a program that will spell my name in 0’s out of the box no I have to program(TEACH) it how to do that. Or even more complex does it know how to run the mirage program out of the box NO, again it has to be programmed (taught) these things.
I don’t ‘know if I can stress this enough the transformers are MORE THAN REGULAR MACHINES, they have LIFE they are LIFE, just like we are. If we look at them as just machines, then how can we as humans claim to not be machines? Isn’t our brain much like a computer?
8. I assume much like the directors that this movie is being watched by an intelligent individual (i was of course in your case incorrect). Unlike you I don’t need to have EVERYTHING spelled out, my assumptions fill the gaps and if they are in congruency with a possibility in the world created by the movie( and I’m pretty sure touch activated tech is conceivable in the transformers universe) I take them as one possible reason something may have happened. Is it possible the director and writer had other ideas for why that happened YES that is possible, but either way it makes sense. which is the point you were arguing against, which still makes you wrong. If I can conceive the idea, I’m pretty sure the directors and writers thought of it or a better one.
9.
Sam had no idea the shard would be pursued by giant robots so felt no pressing need to put it in protection
If I had some alien piece of tech that had just done something to me, I’m pretty sure id want to hang on to it for a while to see what if anything I could find out form examining it. in military hands I would never see it again and would in all likelyhood end up as a test subject and experiment (forgive sam for distrusting the gov’t they have kind of betrayed him before )
Bumble bee is damaged (that is a fact given in the movie no argument necessary )
Your telling me every decision you made as an 18 year old made sense (I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a 8 year old special needs child)
10.
who said anything about feelings and self esteem. I’m pretty sure they brute force approach they took was in fact the quickest one. Espionage and such usually take a lot longer than force. In this case you arguing against yourself, the logical decision would be to TAKE the shard, which is what they did, I don’t even see what your argument is
“You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? Anyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or I’m not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy”
I’m glad you stopped cause the puppies surviving had nothing to do with my argument it was just a joke dimwit (literally)
11.
a)you seem to be making the assumption there are many shards of the cube, there are only 2, and nobody knew that the cube had the ability to give people knowledge that was only discovered when it happened to Sam.
b)as for the erratic behavior I’m sure you would be doing JUST FINE if someone hotwired your brain and shoved alien secrets in it, you wouldn’t do weird things at all. The specific act of jotting that stuff down wasn’t important, random behavior isn’t really hard to believe , I mean in real life people freak out for less
c)though I know he didn’t do it consciously if I was given the formula for faster than light travel, and it popped into my head, damn right I would make a scene I my class, that is kinda important, and who wouldn’t’ want to show it off.
12. I assume you know I’m right and so refrain from exposing your idiocy even more
Conclusion:
You really have no arguments, comparing transformers to calculators (I’m pretty sure AI intelligence and coordination is harder than multiplication or we would have done it already) , not remembering facts that were clearly expressed in the first movie,……… lastly going into a movie like transformers expecting the director to walk you through every little piece of information given, and refusing to make simple connections between events

It seems your arguments this time weren’t even based in misunderstandings (which would be forgivable) , you simply seem to have forgotten huge swaths of information given in the first movie and in this movie.

Reply

40 David July 23, 2009 at 2:16 am

1)the very fact that megatron traveled through space from his HOME WORLD in possession of these various weapons means he ALWAYS HAD THEM, the weapons are not something he took from earth technology, in fact it is mentioned that human REVERSE engineered much of the weaponry we posses now from them.
Again pointing to the fact that the transformers are born with weapons, much like animals on this planet are born with weapons (claws teeth stingers etc.)
My statement on the various “costumes” worn by the transformers to was to simplify this one fact of you in a way you could understand TRANSFORMING DOES NOT HEAL THEM. And the word disguise means to hide by any means, the way I used it was to refer to a combination of hologram technology (which they make a big display of them possessing)and physical restructuring which creates the transformers that we see)
Let me make it simple if a transformer was a truck then got pulled in half and one half was destroyed, it simply would not have enough machinery to again morph in to the same truck.
As you seem so ready to state they restructure themselves, they do not CREATE something from nothing (they simply move around what is already in place), which also speaks to how they are not able to transform into giant machines at will
The humanoid bodies shown at the conclusion of the film are the transformers PRIOR to acquiring the earth disguises this is them in their natural form (which is why they resemble the transformers from the atmosphere entry scene in the first movie) , meaning what you see is all the machinery they have to work with in their transformations, and as is plainly shown even when they haven’t taken on the form of human machines THEY HAVE WEAPONS, again meaning THEY HAVE ALWAYS HAD THEM
Lastly as to why they didn’t shed their disguises at the end this of course is due to the fact that in order for the humans to tell them apart they have to look like they have been looking. If optimus suddenly changed into his original body NOBODY WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM, and during a battle those kind of mishaps tend to lead to disasters. Also being a MOVIE, it would be nice if the audience was able to tell which character was which. I’m almost a hundred percent sure if they had gone with your plan and had them change into their original bodies you would have come here crying that it was too confusing.
2) You must be some kind of retard , they spent the ENTIRE first movie explaining the importance of the cube (as you called it a random rock) and how it is the only one of its kind, they do not understand it or know how to make more of it. so once it was destroyed (melted leaving only two pieces left) that kind of made it RARE. Meaning the act of resurrection could only be done twice using the cube. So megatron again IS NOT IMMORTAL. After the brought him back they could not bring anyone else back. And if he died again they could not bring him back. As for this potion analogy, if there was a table spoon of a potion to bring people back to life and one had to drink an entire table spoon, I doubt that would make humans immortal. It would just mean ONE PERSON ONE TIME would have a second chance and that would be it.
As what is this retardedness =”which if u can be brought back you were not killed” I’m pretty sure to be brought back from death you have to DIE aka be killed, and let’s not argue what dead means to a transformer seeing as how we can’t even define it in human humans
3) they didn’t defer to him? Did they not release the most powerful known piece of technology into his hands in the first movie, did they not come his home and bring his family into for questioning, did the secretary of defense not personally ask him to explain things to him, did they not release a powerful alien robot into his custody based on his word alone. DID HE NOT SAVE THE ENTIRE PLANET PERSONALLY in the first movie.
I don’t’ know what world you live in but when someone saves the planet that kinda sort of makes their voice important. As for him knowing more than the scientists and politicians, they knew the autobots in a working relationship, some of them weren’t even allowed to know optimus was their leader (a fact which is made apparent during the teleconference). Sam on the other hand knew THEM, not their job skills, he knew THEM. And if I want a person’s intentions towards something I care about (the planet) to be vouched for I’m damn sure going to ask someone who knows them not someone who works with them. Additionally you make it seem as if by asking sam they were not allowed to speak with the special ops unit that works with them, how would the addition of another voice NOT help. How would Sam speaking out NOT make their case stronger. If you know anything about law or pretty much anything in general the more character witnesses and recommendations you have the stronger your case looks.

4. you are clearly CLEARLY a retard in this entire section
The cube was meant to respond to life, example (don’t choke on this one like you did the last) If I have a touch screen iphone in my pocket powered on is it doing anything notable (assuming wifi is of and push is disabled etc) but once I TOUCH it miraculous things happen, it can call people it can turn on my computer, I can surf the web like MAGIC. I’m going to walk you through this one in this analogy the iphone is the shard, I would be Sam. When I sam touch the shard (iphone) it hums to life. Though unlike me with my iphone Sam does not know how to use the cube. So his touch does things he did not intend (burning things, bringing machines to life)
As for him not wearing it, do you know NOTHING about memorabilia, if I bought a babe ruth authentic worn jersey and called it my lucky jersey would I wear it NO. WHY? Because it would be ruined, or destroyed. This is more true in sams case because the jersey is already falling apart.

5)WOW, you’re a genuine low functioning retard I feel bad for even arguing with you lol
a)the shard was left on a battle ground which was swarming with US military personnel who KNEW what they were fighting and what the cube was. So yes if one of them picked it up(which I’m pretty sure they would seeing as how it was classified) they WOULD know what it was , they WOULD take precautions and they WOULD whatever other idiotic thing you can think of
b) The cube came from space, and had been floating in space before it crashed on earth, which I don’t’ know if you know anything about our universe but without protection (the Van Allen Belts protect earth) any object in space is BLASTED with deadly levels of radiation, as such anything on earth from space emits radiation
c) even moving out of the common sense sphere it is clearly shown in the first movie that they transformers and all their machinery give of radiation (shown by the Van Allen Belts agents using Geiger counters (look it up)
d) you are clearly an idiot
6. the original plan on both sides had nothing to do with the knowledge stored in the cube you dimwit, they wanted it because it had the power to create life, which is what their home planet lacked (this is shown when it bring back to life the mini killer robot in the army base in the first movie) so NO they didn’t’ want to shatter it yo u idiot
As for the cube being self aware, I didn’t realize that that was a requirement in order for a machine to have a fail safe. Again if you know anything about modern computer systems MANY data bases are programmed to transfer their information to safer quarters when they are damaged. I even have a computer which does this when a virus is detected. And I can assure you as far as I know my laptop is not self aware.
7. you continue to show how truly uneducated and stupid u really are.
The entire premise of this was that the transformers are MORE THAN MACHINES. They are capable of learning and are much like us in that way, they must be taught things. For example in the first movie when the autobots are introduced they state they LEARNED earths languages through television and radio broadcasts. They LEARNED. And seeing as how they are a little more complex than calculator your analogy makes no sense. For example does my calculator know how to run a program that will spell my name in 0’s out of the box no I have to program(TEACH) it how to do that. Or even more complex does it know how to run the mirage program out of the box NO, again it has to be programmed (taught) these things.
I don’t ‘know if I can stress this enough the transformers are MORE THAN REGULAR MACHINES, they have LIFE they are LIFE, just like we are. If we look at them as just machines, then how can we as humans claim to not be machines? Isn’t our brain much like a computer?
8. I assume much like the directors that this movie is being watched by an intelligent individual (i was of course in your case incorrect). Unlike you I don’t need to have EVERYTHING spelled out, my assumptions fill the gaps and if they are in congruency with a possibility in the world created by the movie( and I’m pretty sure touch activated tech is conceivable in the transformers universe) I take them as one possible reason something may have happened. Is it possible the director and writer had other ideas for why that happened YES that is possible, but either way it makes sense. which is the point you were arguing against, which still makes you wrong. If I can conceive the idea, I’m pretty sure the directors and writers thought of it or a better one.
9.
Sam had no idea the shard would be pursued by giant robots so felt no pressing need to put it in protection
If I had some alien piece of tech that had just done something to me, I’m pretty sure id want to hang on to it for a while to see what if anything I could find out form examining it. in military hands I would never see it again and would in all likelyhood end up as a test subject and experiment (forgive sam for distrusting the gov’t they have kind of betrayed him before )
Bumble bee is damaged (that is a fact given in the movie no argument necessary )
Your telling me every decision you made as an 18 year old made sense (I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a 8 year old special needs child)
10.
who said anything about feelings and self esteem. I’m pretty sure they brute force approach they took was in fact the quickest one. Espionage and such usually take a lot longer than force. In this case you arguing against yourself, the logical decision would be to TAKE the shard, which is what they did, I don’t even see what your argument is
“You realize the reason the robots would be stealing these keys, is so they can kill the puppies right? Anyways, your right they would care about what they look like…or I’m not even discussing this horribly retarded analogy”
I’m glad you stopped cause the puppies surviving had nothing to do with my argument it was just a joke dimwit (literally)
11.
a)you seem to be making the assumption there are many shards of the cube, there are only 2, and nobody knew that the cube had the ability to give people knowledge that was only discovered when it happened to Sam.
b)as for the erratic behavior I’m sure you would be doing JUST FINE if someone hotwired your brain and shoved alien secrets in it, you wouldn’t do weird things at all. The specific act of jotting that stuff down wasn’t important, random behavior isn’t really hard to believe , I mean in real life people freak out for less
c)though I know he didn’t do it consciously if I was given the formula for faster than light travel, and it popped into my head, damn right I would make a scene I my class, that is kinda important, and who wouldn’t’ want to show it off.
12. I assume you know I’m right and so refrain from exposing your idiocy even more
Conclusion:
You really have no arguments, comparing transformers to calculators (I’m pretty sure AI intelligence and coordination is harder than multiplication or we would have done it already) , not remembering facts that were clearly expressed in the first movie,……… lastly going into a movie like transformers expecting the director to walk you through every little piece of information given, and refusing to make simple connections between events

It seems your arguments this time weren’t even based in misunderstandings (which would be forgivable) , you simply seem to have forgotten huge swaths of information given in the first movie and in this movie.

Reply

41 bumblebee July 27, 2009 at 6:08 am

I think this is the best Harry Potter movie yet, much darker than the previous ones

Reply

42 bumblebee July 27, 2009 at 6:08 am

I think this is the best Harry Potter movie yet, much darker than the previous ones

Reply

43 Situ August 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm

ok…im a little late here…ive seen the movie & just wanted to know what other people thought of it!!..Well Joe…even though ure not a movie critic ,ur review(every single detail ) of it was awesome & totally agreed ON!…The first Transformers was Great…I expected a lot from this one too….but I must say except for the Robots fighting it off in slow mo!!nothin else was faintly interesting nor fun !!!
Totally dissapointed..(Well not as dissapointed as Terminator Salvation) but still…

Reply

44 Situ August 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm

ok…im a little late here…ive seen the movie & just wanted to know what other people thought of it!!..Well Joe…even though ure not a movie critic ,ur review(every single detail ) of it was awesome & totally agreed ON!…The first Transformers was Great…I expected a lot from this one too….but I must say except for the Robots fighting it off in slow mo!!nothin else was faintly interesting nor fun !!!
Totally dissapointed..(Well not as dissapointed as Terminator Salvation) but still…

Reply

45 Gene Phillips September 16, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Yeah, this WAS the worst film of ALL TIME! Michael Bay blows ass as a director. He wouldn’t know a decent plotline if it was attached to a rocket which was attached to Nicholas Cage on a comet that was then launched into his vampire bat-like coke nostril! He proves that ANY moron with the right connections can get into the film business. Michael Bay should go ahead and do what God apparently intended for him to do when he put him on this Earth, which was to be a toothless redneck in the deep South who blows up old refrigerators that he fills full of gasoline, and who dies at the ripe old redneck age of 26 from a meth overdose.

Reply

46 Gene Phillips September 16, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Yeah, this WAS the worst film of ALL TIME! Michael Bay blows ass as a director. He wouldn’t know a decent plotline if it was attached to a rocket which was attached to Nicholas Cage on a comet that was then launched into his vampire bat-like coke nostril! He proves that ANY moron with the right connections can get into the film business. Michael Bay should go ahead and do what God apparently intended for him to do when he put him on this Earth, which was to be a toothless redneck in the deep South who blows up old refrigerators that he fills full of gasoline, and who dies at the ripe old redneck age of 26 from a meth overdose.

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47 ryan September 20, 2009 at 6:58 pm

i haste thus movie its so noobish the movie land of the lost was a way better movie than this crap plz

this is the number 1 worst movie

Reply

48 ryan September 20, 2009 at 6:58 pm

i haste thus movie its so noobish the movie land of the lost was a way better movie than this crap plz

this is the number 1 worst movie

Reply

49 ryan September 20, 2009 at 6:59 pm

lol jk friken awsome

Reply

50 ryan September 20, 2009 at 6:59 pm

lol jk friken awsome

Reply

51 Sundance October 15, 2009 at 9:42 am

Ok, so I am a tad late w/this, but forgive me, as I’ve just discovered this fairly awesome website~!

I normally just read comments. I almost NEVER actually comment. This time, however, I HAD to say something…

Let me preface this comment by stating that I am a HUGE Michael Bay fan!!!

I absolutely love most of his movies and can totally appreciate his style of leave-your-brain-home-and-enjoy-the-pretty-colors direction, and I thought the 1st Transformers movie was an absolute PERFECT junk food movie. I copped it in HD as soon as it came out and STILL watch it once in a while. When I heard Bay was going to make a sequel, the inner fanboy in me bust a virtual nut.

“MORE Optimus Prime? MORE giant robot fights? MORE intricately detailed transformation sequences? And the Constructicons? AND they form Devastator? Megan Fox draped over a motorcycle w/batty lick shorts on? Sign me all the way up for this!” I said to myself.

Dammit, Man…this movie sucks.

No disrespect to anyone on these boards who loved this flick, but this movie sucked huge metal robot balls (which were in the movie, BTW…WTF was up w/THAT one?!?!?!?) in comparison to the 1st.

There isn’t even a bloody plot for the middle 1/3rd of the movie!

Seriously.

You could literally cut a whole hour out of this, and it would probably make more sense. There were some kewl introductions of new robots in the beginning (more on the Twins later) which was nice, but there wasn’t much of even a semblance of plot. I know, I know, “it’s a Bay film! What do you expect?” you say…same defense I put up against all the so-called “elites” who railed against me for loving the 1st one. One shouldn’t expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial. I get that (for instance, I vehemently defended my love of the largely implausible “Cloverfield” last year on another message board! LOL). But this was bad even for him. For instance:

1.The scene where Shia’s character’s mom eats the pot brownies…did it REALLY need to go on for that long?
2.Did John Turturro need to strip to his underwear again? AGAIN?!?
3.How the f–k is it daylight EVERYWHERE on the planet? And if I’m able to teleport across the globe, why drive? I guess that’s how Bumblebee was able to get to Egypt from the US in 2 scenes flat.
4.Megatron is not supposed to be ANYONE’S bitch, I don’t care how many millennia you have on him.
5.Since when are Transformers able to disguise themselves as humans? Epic fail.
6.I’m a shaky-cam fan, but DAMN!

The Robot Twins…what.the.F–K!

I don’t like them @ all. Why are they so damn stereotypical? I could accept Jazz in the 1st one because the original G1 Jazz was “Black” also (voiced by the late Scatman Crothers, who was also the voice of Hong Kong Phooey, BTW). And he was a decent soldier and a great fighter, though he was destroyed by Megatron in the 1st one. These two carriacatures should offend anyone w/even a modicum of ethnic blood in them. Why can’t they read? They’re cybernetic organisms that were apparently able to absorb complete knowledge of Earth’s languages via the World Wide Web. Why does one of them have a gold tooth? Why are their eyes all kooky? Since when is it ok to have Step-N-Fetch It in robot form?

F–k Michael Bay for this part of the movie.

Jar Jar Binks-like characters (Car-Car Binks in this instance? LOL) will always be an epic fail as far as I’m concerned. They didn’t work in the Star Wars prequels and they don’t really work here. The Twin Robots were funny @ 1st, but then quickly became grating as the movie progressed.

It’s not ALL bad though…if you’re hungering for more robots, this one delivers in spades. I consider myself a huge TF geek-I know most of the robots on sight. But this was almost overload…ALMOST! There were almost too many of them! It was cool, though, to watch them fight, albeit hard to tell which robot was which. The scene in the forest is absolutely spectacular, and here is where Bay shines best. Very well choreographed, and expertly framed…ILM once again proves that they are standard bearers for virtually all other digital FX studios. The integration of the CGI w/set pieces is nothing short of flawless; the robots are even more real and intricately detailed this time.

And Megan Fox. Wow. She could get all 8.5″. ALL of it, and raw, too…LOL

Anyway, there is a marked difference in tone from this sequel and the 1st. The first movie was a bit more refined; it was like Bay had Spielberg reigning him in when he got too grandiose. Now, it would seem that since the 1st one did so well, he was allowed to do whatever the f–k he wanted, to ill effect.

Visually speaking, this movie is just frigging golden! It’s a bit hard to follow @ points from a visual standpoint (what are these robots doing? Are they fighting or dancing? Who is that fighting who? etc.), and the plot is LITERALLY non-existent @ times (bad even for Bay). Like I said, it looks really, really, really, REALLY good, especially in IMAX (although it would seem that most of the scenes weren’t actually shot w/IMAX cameras, as you can tell by the changing aspect ratios) but the Twins and lack of direction kill this for me. A marginal rental, as far as I’m concerned.

5 out of 5 stars for action, CGI, TONS of robots and Megan Fox
.5 out of 5 stars for everything else

Reply

52 Sundance October 15, 2009 at 9:42 am

Ok, so I am a tad late w/this, but forgive me, as I’ve just discovered this fairly awesome website~!

I normally just read comments. I almost NEVER actually comment. This time, however, I HAD to say something…

Let me preface this comment by stating that I am a HUGE Michael Bay fan!!!

I absolutely love most of his movies and can totally appreciate his style of leave-your-brain-home-and-enjoy-the-pretty-colors direction, and I thought the 1st Transformers movie was an absolute PERFECT junk food movie. I copped it in HD as soon as it came out and STILL watch it once in a while. When I heard Bay was going to make a sequel, the inner fanboy in me bust a virtual nut.

“MORE Optimus Prime? MORE giant robot fights? MORE intricately detailed transformation sequences? And the Constructicons? AND they form Devastator? Megan Fox draped over a motorcycle w/batty lick shorts on? Sign me all the way up for this!” I said to myself.

Dammit, Man…this movie sucks.

No disrespect to anyone on these boards who loved this flick, but this movie sucked huge metal robot balls (which were in the movie, BTW…WTF was up w/THAT one?!?!?!?) in comparison to the 1st.

There isn’t even a bloody plot for the middle 1/3rd of the movie!

Seriously.

You could literally cut a whole hour out of this, and it would probably make more sense. There were some kewl introductions of new robots in the beginning (more on the Twins later) which was nice, but there wasn’t much of even a semblance of plot. I know, I know, “it’s a Bay film! What do you expect?” you say…same defense I put up against all the so-called “elites” who railed against me for loving the 1st one. One shouldn’t expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial. I get that (for instance, I vehemently defended my love of the largely implausible “Cloverfield” last year on another message board! LOL). But this was bad even for him. For instance:

1.The scene where Shia’s character’s mom eats the pot brownies…did it REALLY need to go on for that long?
2.Did John Turturro need to strip to his underwear again? AGAIN?!?
3.How the f–k is it daylight EVERYWHERE on the planet? And if I’m able to teleport across the globe, why drive? I guess that’s how Bumblebee was able to get to Egypt from the US in 2 scenes flat.
4.Megatron is not supposed to be ANYONE’S bitch, I don’t care how many millennia you have on him.
5.Since when are Transformers able to disguise themselves as humans? Epic fail.
6.I’m a shaky-cam fan, but DAMN!

The Robot Twins…what.the.F–K!

I don’t like them @ all. Why are they so damn stereotypical? I could accept Jazz in the 1st one because the original G1 Jazz was “Black” also (voiced by the late Scatman Crothers, who was also the voice of Hong Kong Phooey, BTW). And he was a decent soldier and a great fighter, though he was destroyed by Megatron in the 1st one. These two carriacatures should offend anyone w/even a modicum of ethnic blood in them. Why can’t they read? They’re cybernetic organisms that were apparently able to absorb complete knowledge of Earth’s languages via the World Wide Web. Why does one of them have a gold tooth? Why are their eyes all kooky? Since when is it ok to have Step-N-Fetch It in robot form?

F–k Michael Bay for this part of the movie.

Jar Jar Binks-like characters (Car-Car Binks in this instance? LOL) will always be an epic fail as far as I’m concerned. They didn’t work in the Star Wars prequels and they don’t really work here. The Twin Robots were funny @ 1st, but then quickly became grating as the movie progressed.

It’s not ALL bad though…if you’re hungering for more robots, this one delivers in spades. I consider myself a huge TF geek-I know most of the robots on sight. But this was almost overload…ALMOST! There were almost too many of them! It was cool, though, to watch them fight, albeit hard to tell which robot was which. The scene in the forest is absolutely spectacular, and here is where Bay shines best. Very well choreographed, and expertly framed…ILM once again proves that they are standard bearers for virtually all other digital FX studios. The integration of the CGI w/set pieces is nothing short of flawless; the robots are even more real and intricately detailed this time.

And Megan Fox. Wow. She could get all 8.5″. ALL of it, and raw, too…LOL

Anyway, there is a marked difference in tone from this sequel and the 1st. The first movie was a bit more refined; it was like Bay had Spielberg reigning him in when he got too grandiose. Now, it would seem that since the 1st one did so well, he was allowed to do whatever the f–k he wanted, to ill effect.

Visually speaking, this movie is just frigging golden! It’s a bit hard to follow @ points from a visual standpoint (what are these robots doing? Are they fighting or dancing? Who is that fighting who? etc.), and the plot is LITERALLY non-existent @ times (bad even for Bay). Like I said, it looks really, really, really, REALLY good, especially in IMAX (although it would seem that most of the scenes weren’t actually shot w/IMAX cameras, as you can tell by the changing aspect ratios) but the Twins and lack of direction kill this for me. A marginal rental, as far as I’m concerned.

5 out of 5 stars for action, CGI, TONS of robots and Megan Fox
.5 out of 5 stars for everything else

Reply

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