This movie review of “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” appears on KTKA-49.
The first “Transformers” movie was basically an absurdist teen sex comedy featuring sentient cars that turn into robots and some silly go-for-broke rewriting of American history. Its 2009 sequel was a more serious, more ridiculous, less fun version that lasted 2 ½ hours but still delivered on its promise of more amazing CGI fighting robot scenes.
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” also delivers a couple of spectacular action scenes and uses 3D to great effect in them as well. But somehow after two movies, the cumulative effect of a third with an unusually dumb plot filled with dumber dialogue, more dumb coincidences, and a new deadly-dull leading actress (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) really takes its toll.
It may have taken 153 whole minutes for the movie to end, but I was out of the game much earlier—somewhere around the point when Tyrese tells Shia LaBeouf he’s going to have to go it alone. It’s one of about five different arbitrary conflicts in the film that repeat the same dramatic moment without being even remotely convincing.
Yes, the CGI action scenes with fighting robots are amazing and I’d say they upped the ante again. But if director Michael Bay knows that’s all we came for, why do we have to wade through another 90 minutes of insulting lowest-common-denominator stuff just to enjoy those scenes?
In the past, I have defended the “Transformers” series as something that delivered what it promised, but this time—for the first time, possibly after being beaten into submission one too many times—I’m saying it just isn’t worth it.