Movie Review: Secretariat

by Alan Rapp on October 8, 2010

in Print Reviews

Disney gets a lot of grief for these feel-good sports movies that tend to up the schmaltz and oversimplify the story. Say what you want about them, they usually have a helluva lot of heart and are (at least a little) smarter than their critics give them credit for.

I’ll freely admit to liking my fair share of Disney’s past attempts at recreating period sports films (Miracle, Invincible, Cool Runnings, The Rookie). It is with regret then that I inform you that Secreterat, a film about a horse with a heart more than double the size of a normal horse, lacks anything resembling heart.

For the better part of its near two-hour running time it also lacks style, brains, and cinematic craftsmanship. Although the film gives credit to Elizabeth Ham (Margo Martindale) for naming the horse it never specifically states what the name is supposed to mean. If the film is any indication, the definition of Secretariat is the absence or antithesis of subtlety. This movie would make a punch in the face feel somehow understated.

The tale of housewife Penny Chenery (Diane Lane) and the greatest horse the sport has ever known has been boiled down to empty platitudes, dialogue so corny it’s best reserved for old episodes of Hee Haw, and lessons so thoroughly stuffed in one’s throat it’s hard not to gag.

The film isn’t so much awful as incredibly mediocre and poorly made. Lane is a wonderful actress, but you’d hardly know it from this performance. Most of the rest of the cast fits into one-note caricatures: John Malkovich is the crazy one, Nelsan Ellis is the wise kindly Negro, Kevin Connolly is the loving husband who doesn’t know how to support his wife, and Scott Glenn is trapped in a role that barely requires a pulse. Throw in some clunky biblical narration, just enough ‘cute’ hippie rebellion, and countless shots of the sun setting, and you’ve got one mess of a movie.

That’s not to say the film is all bad. Things do pick up in the final act – when the focus turns more to the horse on the track and not the melodrama elsewhere. Speaking of the horse, he gives the film’s best, and only realistic, performance. The races themselves are recreated with a skill that seems to be lacking in every other shot of the film, and I’ll even give a kind word for the shaky horsey cam that adds some interesting shots from the jockey’s perspective and (thankfully) isn’t overused.

The entire film just feels flat. Maybe it’s the corny dialogue or perhaps its the ham-fisted structure of the story, but Secretariat doesn’t resonate the way it should. Many of this type of overly schmaltzy sports films get by in balancing that with some strong performances and real emotion. Sadly, in this race, Secretariat isn’t a winner.

A stalwart fan of under-appreciated cinematic gems such as Condorman, Alan Rapp has harangued, belittled, and argued with just about every Scene-Stealers contributor ever. More of his insight, comic nerdiness, and righteous fury can be found at dadsbigplan, RazorFine Review, and ‘Xplosion of Awesome, and the Four Color Freak-Out podcast.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 dbmurray October 13, 2010 at 8:29 am

I saw it last night. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie where the audience actually applauded at the end.

Did I like it as much as the crowd as a whole? Not by any stretch. It’s no great work of art, but neither is it as bad as this review indicates.

The movie does fail to address some of the best trivia. If the fact that Secretariat had a 22-pound heart was mentioned in the set of facts at the end of the movie, for example, I missed it. It seems like that bit of information would have been pertinent to mention after the bit about how he sired 600 foals.

They did emphasize the point that the name was only approved after several other names had been rejected, but I would have liked to know more about what inspired the name as well.

In the movie’s favor, the performances and the storyline building up to the races at the end were compelling enough that it made me wish I could have seen the actual races. That’s worth something in and of itself. There’s only so much they could do to show him beating the odds, so they built up the fact that he was ahead of the game from the very beginning…quick to stand up. They got a lot of the little details right, too, in terms of authenticity. When Mrs. Ham brings out coffee, for example, she’s carrying period Fire King mugs. On the negative side, they didn’t make much effort to make it look like any of the Tweedy children aged a day over a period of four years.

Another credit to this film is that it finally put a good version of the song “Oh Happy Day” on screen after Sister Act 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLY7yI1xV-M), Meet The Klumps, and Big Momma’s House 2 did their dead level best to ruin the song for all time. :o )

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2 jack duhamel December 7, 2010 at 12:43 pm

agreed

- Jack Duhamel

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