Capsule Review: "The Patriot"

by Eric Melin on June 28, 2000

in Print Reviews

Q: Does anyone care for 2 hours and 45 minutes of pure, ungrated cheese?

A: Why not? After all, I liked “Braveheart.”

Okay, I’m being a little light on this one.

Okay, really light. But I have seen a bunch of crap lately. “The Patriot” is not as good as “Braveheart,” but it is almost as long. And it feels longer. Yes, it is a stinky pile of cheese with cliched characters and familiar situations. But, there are enough scenes (especially early on in the film) with great action sequences, and Mel Gibson is a pretty good leading man (for an Australian). Cut out an hour- the right one- and it’s all good. This film comes from Roland Emmerich, the director of such vile, time-eating shit-fests as “Independence Day” and “Godzilla.” And, believe me, compared to them, “The Patriot” is fucking “Gone With the Wind.”

Eric is the Editor-in-Chief of and writes the Screen Stealers column for The Pitch. He’s President of the KCFCC, and drummer for The Dead Girls and Ultimate Fakebook. He is also Air Guitar World Champion Mean Melin. Eric goes to 11. Follow him at:

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