Capsule Review: "The Patriot"

by Eric Melin on June 28, 2000

in Print Reviews

Q: Does anyone care for 2 hours and 45 minutes of pure, ungrated cheese?

A: Why not? After all, I liked “Braveheart.”

Okay, I’m being a little light on this one.

Okay, really light. But I have seen a bunch of crap lately. “The Patriot” is not as good as “Braveheart,” but it is almost as long. And it feels longer. Yes, it is a stinky pile of cheese with cliched characters and familiar situations. But, there are enough scenes (especially early on in the film) with great action sequences, and Mel Gibson is a pretty good leading man (for an Australian). Cut out an hour- the right one- and it’s all good. This film comes from Roland Emmerich, the director of such vile, time-eating shit-fests as “Independence Day” and “Godzilla.” And, believe me, compared to them, “The Patriot” is fucking “Gone With the Wind.”

Eric is the Editor-in-Chief of Scene-Stealers.com and writes for The Pitch. He’s former President of the KCFCC, and drummer for The Dead Girls, Ultimate Fakebook, and Truck Stop Love . He is also Air Guitar World Champion Mean Melin. Eric goes to 11. Follow him at:

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