Here’s another movie I kind of had to drag myself to go see. Believe me, if you found yourself stuck in Wichita, KS with nothing to do and hours to kill before a show, you would’ve gone too.
I dug “Toy Story.” “The Iron Giant” and both “Babe” movies kicked ass. When kids movies are clever, I can really get into them. “A Bug’s Life” was a bit less clever and a bit more formulaic, but still an entertaining little romp. “Shrek” is all computer animation, with Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy voicing the two main charaters. Sounds like a recipe for fun, right?
Wrong. The story didn’t surprise me once, the jokes for the most part were pretty lame, and even some of the animation was muddy and dull. This is not a musical, like those lame-ass Disney movies with crappy Mariah Carey and Elton John songs in them, but the music chosen for “Shrek” was still very unwelcome. Smash Mouth singing Neil Diamond’s “I’m a Believer?” Can you think of anything worse? Maybe Chumbawumba singing Don McLean’s “American Pie.” Oh, what an awful challenge! The mind reels at the horrifying possiblities! (And no, the Monkees didn’t write “I’m A Believer.”)
There was also an alarming number of fart and pee jokes in “Shrek.” Do the Hollywood studios think kids really need these in their movies, or are they so desperate for original material that they just fall back on this kind of humor? I know when I was young, I didn’t miss the lack of toilet humor in my fave kid movies. If I wanted that, I’d go over to my friend’s house and watch a Mel Brooks movie on HBO.
OK, I was having a bad day that afternoon. But “Shrek” still sucked. If it was any good, it would have made feel better instead of worse.