You’ve been standing in line for a half an hour in the Midwest sun on an unreasonably hot August day. The people in front of you refuse to stop talking loudly at the people behind you, and the gelatinous pink bubble gum you just stepped in will never entirely leave the bottom of your shoe. Twenty minutes later, at the end of your wits, you look longingly at the Chicken Exit– but decide you’ve come this far and really need to stick it out. After an hour of waiting, you’re seated dismissively by the attendent who has been hotter than you and annoyed longer than you.
Finally, the ride you’ve been suffering for is here.
The roller coaster lasts only a few minutes, but the instant it is over, all the pain leading up to the ride goes out the window and your first instinct is to do it all over again.
That’s “Transformers.”
Pop culture monoliths like “Ocean’s Eleven,” or Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” will never be confused with high-art, but they each represent a virtually perfect, sugar-dipped nugget of pure entertainment. So too is “Transformers.” This movie should come with a seatbelt.
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Make no mistake, this is a popcorn movie. It is not a serious film. If ever there was an instance that illustrated some degree of difference, this is it. Director Michael Bay is singularly talented at using the cinematic medium to achieve maximum over-the-top entertainment. If you didn’t like “Armaggedon,” and the idea of a movie about robots from outer space who turn into machines sounds stupid, then please don’t go. If you’re expecting “Gone With the Wind,” this will not be any fun for you. Frankly, if you can’t already imagine yourself loving this movie from the myriad of trailers plastered absolutely everywhere, then save your friends the hassle and keep your curmudgeonness to yourself.
Michael Bay’s shameless blockbuster tactics are unbelievably perfect for event movies. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been nearly as excited if another director was at the helm. Like a cold beer and pretzels, it seems Michael Bay and “Transformers” were meant to come together.
There are some fairly big-time themes running through “Transformers.” It plays with themes like war, terrorism, family, duty, honor and just plain being a teenager. In addition, the movie makes an interesting distinction between two types of operatives– military and government . The soldiers are solid Americans who immediately know to trust the good guys. The enldlessly suspicious “suits with guns” are tagged as the guys who got us in this mess in the first place.
In a desperate attempt to raise funds for his first car, Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf) is pawning his grandfather’s personal items on eBay. One item up for sale, the arctic explorer’s cracked pair of Lennon-esque spectacles, are more than they appear. The meat of the plot stems from a classic “our-hero-doesn’t-know-he-has-something-the-villians-want” tale. Along the way, Bay manages to reference a stack of films in the story, scenes, and intention– everything from “Indiana Jones” to “Armaggedon” and “Terminator 2.”
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LaBeouf (“Holes”) was cast perfectly. It may be the special effects that will have you jumping out of your seat, but LaBeouf sells the story and does so with the humor and soul of the best young actors that have become a trademark of producer Steven Spielberg films. With the lead in “Transformers,” and news of his casting in the new “Indiana Jones” installment, LaBeouf is simply going to be huge.
“Transformers” is nothing if the robots don’t work. If the transformations or the well-known characters were flat, or Bay had attempted to make it ten years ago, this would be little more than a big budget mishap. Instead, it is utterly amazing.
The robots fighting in slow motion constitute some of the most remarkable special effects wizardry ever put on film. Capitalizing on the technological developments of landmark movies like “T2,” “Matrix” and Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings Trilogy,” “Transformers” is the next step in SFX evolution and ironically, makes “T2” and “Matrix” look like the old guard while at the same time its stealing their greatest hits.
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I left the theater feeling like a young boy just stepping off a roller coaster ride. “Transformers” is far from a perfect movie, but its the most fun I’ve had in the theater in a long time - and it’s remarkably funny. The are aspects of the first hour that drag and a few characters that don’t blossom, but as soon as the robots started fighting I was in– hook, line and sinker. The second it was all over, I turned to my friend and without hesitation said– “Let’s go again.”
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Killer Transformers…
Transformers info…
You too J.D., you need to see it in IMAX!