The Golden Globes suck, or A Plea for Sanity

by Eric Melin on January 16, 2007

in Blogs

OK.

We all know awards shows are inherently stupid. Giving movie stars awards for doing their jobs really well is just silly. They are so huge now that they have become a part of the business. They get people to pay attention to movies that offer something more than a slight distraction while you’re eating popcorn. Accepting his statue for best actor in a TV mini-series or movie at the Golden Globe Awards last night, “Gideon’s Daughter” star Bill Nighy said, “I used to think that prizes were damaging and divisive, until I got one. And now they seem sort of meaningful and real.”

What I like about movie awards shows is that they champion certain movies that may have gotten little attention in the theater and run the risk of being seen by nobody. I love the fact that, for two months out of every year, people are talking about interesting pictures and not another no-brained behemoth that just broke box office again (I’m looking at you, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”).

But as this season becomes more of a business, interesting pictures inevitably end up taking a backseat to hype and starpower. Take last night’s multiple wins for the hollow, showboating, cliche-ridden musical “Dreamgirls.” Three big Golden Globe wins (Best Picture – Musical or Comedy, Jennifer Hudson for Supporting Actress, Eddie Murphy for Supporting Actor) now place it as number one among the films to beat at the Oscar ceremony come February 25.

“Dreamgirls” is the very definition of ‘too much’ in a movie– too much buildup, too much triteness, too much self-importance, too much screeching, too much banality, too much inanity, too much insanity.

Well, “the people” have spoken. The Golden Globes have been handed out, and this will undoubtedly influence the members of the Academy who will vote next month in the Oscars.

Just who are “the people,” anyway?

Well, unlike the Oscars, who are voted on by actual members of the filmmaking industry, the Globes are a small, mysterious group of less than 100 people. From their website:

“The Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA) is a non-profit organization, the members of which are international journalists based in Southern California. The HFPA has about 90 members who disseminate information about movies and television to the world through their various publications throughout the world. HFPA members attend more than 300 press conference-style interviews and countless movie and television screenings throughout each year.”

“Disseminate” information? Is Henry Kissinger a member? They sound like some secret evil global communications group that does California’s bidding–spreading the Word of Hollywood all over the globe like it were the Gospel. Even after reading the explanation, I was still bi-curious. I wanted names, dammit, and I got them.

This is a list of the people who thought that “Dreamgirls” was better than the groundbreaking “Borat,” the darkly comic “Little Miss Sunshine,” the pointed satire “Thank You for Smoking,” and the Meryl Streep tour de force “The Devil Wears Prada.”

HFPA Active Members

Paoula Abou-Jaoude, Brazil

Vera Anderson Bulgaria, Mexico

Ray Arco, Canada

Rocio Ayuso, Spain

Anita Baum, Argentina

Gilda Baum-Lappe, Mexico

Yani Begakis, Greece, Japan

Philip Berk, Australia, Malaysia, Hong Kong

Elmar Biebl, Germany

Silvia Bizio, Italy

Jorge Camara, Dominican Republic

Isabelle Caron, France

Jean-Paul Chaillet, France

Myung Chan Choi, South Korea

Rui Henriques Coimbra, Portugal

Jenny Cooney Carrillo, Australia, New Zealand

Jean E. Cummings, Japan

Yola Czaderska-Hayek, Poland

Ersi Danou, Greece

Noel de Souza, India

Gabrielle Donnelly, United Kingdom

George Doss, Egypt

Mahfouz Doss, Egypt

Maureen Dragone, Thailand

Dagmar Dunlevy, Canada

Armando Gallo, Italy

Margaret Gardiner, South Africa

Avik Gilboa, United Kingdom

Mike Goodridge, United Kingdom

Andre Guimond, Canada

John Hiscock, United Kingdom

Helen Hoehne, Germany

Anke Hofmann, Germany

Nellee A. Holmes, Russia

Munawar Hosain, Germany

Yoram Kahana, Estonia

Erkki “Erik” Kanto, Finland

Theo Kingma, The Netherlands

Ahmed Lateef, Hong Kong

Kleo Lee Greece, Japan

Elisa Leonelli Italy, Spain

Gabriel Lerman, Costa Rica

Emanuel Levy, Israel

Lisa Lu China, Taiwan

Howard Lucraft, United Kingdom

Lilly Lui, Hong Kong

Ramzi Malouki, Tahiti, Tunisia

Helena Mar-Elia, Lebanon

Lawrie Masterson, Australia, New Zealand

Paz Mata, Spain

Juliette Michaud, France

Max B. Miller, United Kingdom

Aud Berggren Morisse, Norway

Yukiko Nakajima, Japan

Yoko Narita, Japan

Aniko Navai, Hungary

Ruben V. Nepales, Philippines

Alexander Nevsky, Russia

Yenny Nun-Katz, Chile, Peru

Scott Orlin, Germany

Mira Panajotovic, Serbia

Alena Prime, Tahiti

Serge Rakhlin, Latvia, Russia

Patrick Roth, Germany

Mohammed Rouda, United Arab Emirates

Frank Rousseau, Belgium, France

Marianne Ruuth, France, Sweden

Ali Sar, Russia

Frances Schoenberger, Germany

Elisabeth Sereda, Austria

Maria Snoeys-Lagler, Belgium

Judy Solomon, Israel

Lorenzo Soria, Italy

Hans J. Spurkel Austria, Switzerland

Aida Takla-O’Reilly, Egypt

Meher Tatna, Malaysia, Singapore

Jack Tewksbury, Argentina, Thailand, Russia

Lynn M. Tso, Taiwan

Alessandra Venezia, Italy

Marlene von Arx, Switzerland

Jerry Watson, United Kingdom

Anita Weber Japan, South Africa, United Kingdom

Noemia Young, Canada

Mario Amaya, Colombia

H. J. Park, Korea

Lifetime Members

Edmund Brettschneider

BJ Franklin

Helmut Voss

Affiliate Members

Vivi Anderson

Frances Jeane Appel

Kiki Brettschneider

Karen Martin

They are also the same people who awarded the Best Actress- Musical or Comedy award in 1997 to Madonna for “Evita,” over Frances McDormand’s unforgettable pregnant police chief in “Fargo.”

McDormand eventually got her justice as Best Actress winner at the Oscars a month later, for which Madonna was not even nominated. Let’s just hope that the “Dreamgirls” hype machine dies down soon enough that Oscar voters come to their senses and realized they’ve been blinded by glitz.

“Well, Eddie Murphy is not talking to animals or talking down to kids, so give him a Golden Globe!”

“We love Jennifer Hudson’s underdog post-”American Idol” success story and she didn’t embarrass herself in a already sympathetic role, so give her a Golden Globe!”

Why not?

“We’ve heard since June last year that “Dreamgirls” was the front runner for Best Picture, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint Hollywood, so let’s give it a Golden Globe!”

Let’s hope Oscar voters (thousands of them, not mere double digits like the HFPA) take a breath and realize the publicity-driven snowball effect when they see it. Maybe they’ll watch “Children of Men” or “United 93” in the coming weeks and remember why we go to the movies in the first place. After all, popcorn tastes good while you’re eating it, but ‘too much’ will make you sick to your stomach.

As Public Enemy once said, “Don’t believe the hype.”

Eric is the Editor-in-Chief of Scene-Stealers.com and writes the Screen Stealers column for The Pitch. He’s President of the KCFCC, and drummer for The Dead Girls and Ultimate Fakebook. He is also Air Guitar World Champion Mean Melin. Eric goes to 11. Follow him at:

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 kissmiass January 16, 2011 at 10:10 am

Thankkks for the showboating kkkomment regarding Dreamgirls. You probably creamed your pants for The Social Network. Douches!

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